volslayer187
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2019
- Posts
- 151
- Reputation
- 241
It's the worst feeling in the word.
2 years ago I thought I was very attractive, like top 5% of males. Then I discovered lookism. I learned what an attractive face should look like, and what type of attention you should be getting from females. I also got rated a few times. I've been rated (1-9 scale) from 4.5 to 6.25, mostly falling at 5-5.5 (you can check my first post) both on lookism and truerateme. It made a lot of fucking sense, since girls hardly ever give me IOIs, and all my life I'd been coping hard thinking about all sorts of reasons why I got no IOIs.
Still way after discovering lookism, I was still deluded and couldn't accept that I wasn't really attractive. I'd say I completely internalized and accept that I'm average about 1 year ago, maybe 6 months.
For all of this I blame all the empty platitudes I received from female friends and family: 'you're a handsome guy' 'a handsome fella'. But I blame even more my lack of social awereness. I have always been approached by average and ugly girls in night clubs (although only every few months), and I easily made out and have sex soon with these ugly to average girls when I was introduced to them in parties through mutual friends. Again, this happens no more than 3 times a year.
But I thought I was a Chad, just because ugly drunk slutty girls would once in a while approach me, and one in every 3 days a girl would made 2 second eye contact with me in public.
Anyway, to this day, I'm still fucking depressed and miserable. It was 8 years in my life that I thought I was GL, and all my self-esteem revolved around that belief. Now I can't get out of this depression. So no my self-esteem is gone, and I still don't know how to take it back.
2 years ago I thought I was very attractive, like top 5% of males. Then I discovered lookism. I learned what an attractive face should look like, and what type of attention you should be getting from females. I also got rated a few times. I've been rated (1-9 scale) from 4.5 to 6.25, mostly falling at 5-5.5 (you can check my first post) both on lookism and truerateme. It made a lot of fucking sense, since girls hardly ever give me IOIs, and all my life I'd been coping hard thinking about all sorts of reasons why I got no IOIs.
Still way after discovering lookism, I was still deluded and couldn't accept that I wasn't really attractive. I'd say I completely internalized and accept that I'm average about 1 year ago, maybe 6 months.
For all of this I blame all the empty platitudes I received from female friends and family: 'you're a handsome guy' 'a handsome fella'. But I blame even more my lack of social awereness. I have always been approached by average and ugly girls in night clubs (although only every few months), and I easily made out and have sex soon with these ugly to average girls when I was introduced to them in parties through mutual friends. Again, this happens no more than 3 times a year.
But I thought I was a Chad, just because ugly drunk slutty girls would once in a while approach me, and one in every 3 days a girl would made 2 second eye contact with me in public.
Anyway, to this day, I'm still fucking depressed and miserable. It was 8 years in my life that I thought I was GL, and all my self-esteem revolved around that belief. Now I can't get out of this depression. So no my self-esteem is gone, and I still don't know how to take it back.
