Deleted member 6997
Cuckologist
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This post keeps getting removed for being a judgment question but it’s not?
I’m a trans man who has had top surgery but not bottom surgery. My gf knew this when we started dating a year ago. Recently she discovered this term “bisexual lesbian” Which is supposed to be for bisexual people who are more attracted to women? I guess? I don’t know I don’t really get it. She said she was bi when we met.
The main issue I have is that, she says she is mainly a lesbian 99% with exceptions and it makes me feel super weird because I am a man. It makes me feel like she doesn’t really consider me a man because I Was born a female or like haven’t had bottom surgery? When I ask her she says of course you’re a man! You’re just like my lesbian exception which I thought meant an exception to her lesbianism bc I am a guy.
I saw her on Facebook though and she’s in a TON of groups for bi women lgbt people and lesbian groups which is cool I’m some too. But the thing that hurt my feelings was that I joined one of the lesbian onlt ones (to spy which I know is kind of wrong but still) and I saw her posting in LESBIAN threads about ME referring to me as her partner. Like “omg this is so cute me and my partner so this too” or making u-haul/lesbian jokes about me! A man!
When I asked her she told me that lesbians and trans men have a lot in common and share a similar community, which I totally get because before I came out I was a lesbian, but since I’m not anymore I don’t feel comfortable being sssociated with that or having our relationship be seen as “gay” in any way. I told her this and then she got mad at me for joining the group in the first place bc it’s a safe space for lesbians. Which I agree with! And I told her she isn’t one!
I don’t want to police her sexuality but at the same time, I’m upset she keeps posting about me in these groups. How do I bring this up without invalidating her sexuality but also in a way that makes me feel like she truly see me as a man and that these comments hurt me? Are there any good subreddits for posts like this or is this the end of the relationship?
I’m a trans man who has had top surgery but not bottom surgery. My gf knew this when we started dating a year ago. Recently she discovered this term “bisexual lesbian” Which is supposed to be for bisexual people who are more attracted to women? I guess? I don’t know I don’t really get it. She said she was bi when we met.
The main issue I have is that, she says she is mainly a lesbian 99% with exceptions and it makes me feel super weird because I am a man. It makes me feel like she doesn’t really consider me a man because I Was born a female or like haven’t had bottom surgery? When I ask her she says of course you’re a man! You’re just like my lesbian exception which I thought meant an exception to her lesbianism bc I am a guy.
I saw her on Facebook though and she’s in a TON of groups for bi women lgbt people and lesbian groups which is cool I’m some too. But the thing that hurt my feelings was that I joined one of the lesbian onlt ones (to spy which I know is kind of wrong but still) and I saw her posting in LESBIAN threads about ME referring to me as her partner. Like “omg this is so cute me and my partner so this too” or making u-haul/lesbian jokes about me! A man!
When I asked her she told me that lesbians and trans men have a lot in common and share a similar community, which I totally get because before I came out I was a lesbian, but since I’m not anymore I don’t feel comfortable being sssociated with that or having our relationship be seen as “gay” in any way. I told her this and then she got mad at me for joining the group in the first place bc it’s a safe space for lesbians. Which I agree with! And I told her she isn’t one!
I don’t want to police her sexuality but at the same time, I’m upset she keeps posting about me in these groups. How do I bring this up without invalidating her sexuality but also in a way that makes me feel like she truly see me as a man and that these comments hurt me? Are there any good subreddits for posts like this or is this the end of the relationship?
