Jamal2222
ALL POSTS MADE BY THIS IP/ACCOUNT ARE SATIRE
- Joined
- May 9, 2020
- Posts
- 3,644
- Reputation
- 6,715
I'm trying to come to terms and cope with this. i will turn 18 in 12 days. The clock is ticking tick tok tick tok. Brutal reminder of the age pill. My days of being 13-17 are over and gone in a flash. In 377 days I will turn 19. in 742 days I will be 20 years old. And in 1107 days I'll be 21. In only 4,757 days I will be 31 year old man. This is very brutal indeed. I remember being 13 and thinking 16 or 17 was so old and mature. Now i'm past those ages and it becomes clearer to me everyday. Life is not meant to be long, it's short so people make the most of it. Subconsciously it's the reason people get upset over trivial things, for they know anything could happen. Their life could end today, tomorrow, or next year or beyond. I've already accepted my death before it even happened. I was born a shout in the wind and I will die as a candle going out. I don't know how my shout in this eternal wind will end but I hope I will be remembered. People need to know there was once young boy born in 2003 who was predisposed to fail, yet he overcame his anxiety, ugliness, poverty and became famous before he was 22. People must understand what went down in my lifetime. I don't want my life to be forgotten.
I reflect now about my life , it's ups and downs. And i can say I haven't lived my life to the fullest. From being 5 years old to 16 I didn't take chances and felt as if I had something to loose. Early in highschool I had 15 girls show sexual interest in me, some more blatant than others, yet I never dated them. This has led me to being a virgin as I type this, although I could've lost it at 14, or 15 or 16 multiple times. You don't get a second chance. these girls went on to become extremely high status seniors later on and I'm just the fool who rejected them. I say I was predisposed to loose because of my heavy indoctrination during childhood which instilled a phobia of talking sexually with women. I can say from my childhood until now there is an undeniable difference between my brain and the way I think. Back then I was truly blissful, that's why they say ignorance is bliss because I was truly happy back then nomatter what happened in school I was always happy, excited and hopeful. Now that i'm 18 all I can see in the world is evil and hate. I was already feeling an existential depression before getting blackpilled but now it's been maginified by 10 fold. I truly think it'd be best to tap out of this life and finally be at peace. But I would never do that because I cannot show weakness in my culture. I would shame my family for years to come. I'll just give it my best shot and fight superhard until my natural death and die fighting. When I say give it my best shot I will work, sacrifice and endure. I have nothing to loose and the world to gain. Literally the best option is to keep fighting. No submitting. I don't know what will come in death, mysteriously we all just showed up on this rock floating in space, it's all so crazy to think about it. But optimistically although there's a low chance, I hope we achieve something better after death. We'll most likely return to pre womb state unfortunately, alas I have no idea.
I reflect now about my life , it's ups and downs. And i can say I haven't lived my life to the fullest. From being 5 years old to 16 I didn't take chances and felt as if I had something to loose. Early in highschool I had 15 girls show sexual interest in me, some more blatant than others, yet I never dated them. This has led me to being a virgin as I type this, although I could've lost it at 14, or 15 or 16 multiple times. You don't get a second chance. these girls went on to become extremely high status seniors later on and I'm just the fool who rejected them. I say I was predisposed to loose because of my heavy indoctrination during childhood which instilled a phobia of talking sexually with women. I can say from my childhood until now there is an undeniable difference between my brain and the way I think. Back then I was truly blissful, that's why they say ignorance is bliss because I was truly happy back then nomatter what happened in school I was always happy, excited and hopeful. Now that i'm 18 all I can see in the world is evil and hate. I was already feeling an existential depression before getting blackpilled but now it's been maginified by 10 fold. I truly think it'd be best to tap out of this life and finally be at peace. But I would never do that because I cannot show weakness in my culture. I would shame my family for years to come. I'll just give it my best shot and fight superhard until my natural death and die fighting. When I say give it my best shot I will work, sacrifice and endure. I have nothing to loose and the world to gain. Literally the best option is to keep fighting. No submitting. I don't know what will come in death, mysteriously we all just showed up on this rock floating in space, it's all so crazy to think about it. But optimistically although there's a low chance, I hope we achieve something better after death. We'll most likely return to pre womb state unfortunately, alas I have no idea.
Last edited: