I'm finally 21.

D

Deleted member 10699

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I've said before that, if I don't become a HTN by 25, I'll finish everything (or get one surgery, which I'll try to avoid at all costs). I've been bullied and treated like shit for years because of my weirdness, and because of my looks. I've been called ugly, really ugly, weird, etc., by a lot of girls. I've been also treated harshly, been ignored by people in general, laughed at, pointed at, etc. This made me to be depressed at young ages (14, with depression going on until today), to develop social anxiety, fear to women and, in general, to isolate myself. I was bullied a lot by my classmates, sice they knew that I was autistic.

I didn't realise this when I was 15, but now, I've realised that I've developed lots of sociopathic traits, such as low empathy for those who aren't part of my family or my friends, narcisism, homicidal thoughts/fantasies, lying to NT people just to fake my persona, etc. In fact, I've never been normal or happy because I've always been told how miserable and useless I am.

My goal with looksmaxxing will never be doing better with girls, since I can't make normal friendships (I'll never do good with girls because I lack the social skills). My goal is to force people to accept me more; and since they like looks, I'm giving them that by hard work, to make them never talk about me like if I was a piece of shit.

Anyways, people have also always abused of me (not sexually, though a gay guy harrased me for a year) for being and looking too innocent, for being too shy and passive. They've lied to me, tried to hurt me emotionally, laughed at me, etc. I've always tried to be happy, but I have never achieved it.

This, of course, doesn't mean that I've never felt validated. My friends really like me as a person, and I'm happy with them because they don't judge me for being who I am. The negative feedback that I've been receiving doesn't mean that no one has never crushed on me/showed interest, but honestly, I feel like a piece of shit most of the times. I feel that everyone is better looking than me (though maybe this is caused because of BDD), more intelligent, capable, etc. Sorry for the rant. Have a nice day.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 2214, Jamal2222, Deleted member 3299 and 4 others
I'm scared of looking for validation and ended up abused/raped. I want to feel better about myself and the world that surrounds me.
 
Life's over at this point OP
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Deleted member 8165
Quick Screenshot Capture1611425713027
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Deleted member 8165
Habby birfday :feelsautistic:
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 10699 and Deleted member 8165
You’re born in 2000 how is that fucking possible?
 
  • Love it
Reactions: Toth's thot
I hope it gets better for you man gl
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 10699 and BigBoy
good luck, you can surely accomplish it much sooner though,
 
Bday 312
 
  • +1
Reactions: Clark69
you were raped nigga????
 
  • JFL
Reactions: sytyl
You're never gonna be Chad, but that DOESN'T mean you should give up. After all, I guess your age starting with a 2 is better than your age starting with a 3.
 
  • So Sad
Reactions: Deleted member 2403
Sometimes I wonder myself if I am perhaps narcissistic ive asked people and they tell me no

possibly just delve too much into the human condition
 

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