D
Deleted member 4300
Iron
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2019
- Posts
- 93
- Reputation
- 311
I’ve been blackpilled ever since I was 16 but only recently embraced the truth about my own appearance and stunted social skills. I tried deluding myself for a while with excuses as to why I “looked” ugly and coped with lens distortion, lighting, and flipped photos but deep down I always knew that those things weren’t REALLY responsible.
Last week, the night after I moved back into my college dorm everything finally clicked. I could hear the guys and girls from my floor laughing and having an amazing time catching up from break while I laid alone on my bed staring at the ceiling. This time, there was no mental gymnastics I could do to explain why I was the only kid isolated on my floor. The truth hit me like a fucking truck and I spent the next few hours looking at myself in the mirror and drowning out everything with loud music. For the next few days I skipped class, slept all day, and basically rotted in my dorm due to having zero energy and absolutely no will to do anything.
As painful as this realization was, like many of the people here who have 100% swallowed the pill, I finally became self aware and unlocked the ability to see myself from a birds eye view.
I’m a 19 year old hapa virgin with terrible acne and a severely recessed lower third who is already fighting hair loss. Yes, I look like a fucking subhuman (3.25-3.5 PSL). Yes, I am the byproduct of a shitty relationship and have garbage genetics. Yes, I’ve acted like an introverted beta bitch and allowed other people to push me around. By most measurable stats I should end up a genetic dead end. Normal people don’t even have to work for the things I’m deprived of, it comes naturally to them. My looksmaxxing routine is compensation for my disgusting genetics and the mark of an inferior man. But at the same time, it’s the only thing I’ve got.
What other choice do I have? I can either whine like a little bitch and rope as my situation continues to deteriorate or I can give looksmaxxing/lifemaxxing everything I have, even if my chances of ascension are slim to none. I’ve literally got nothing left to lose and an eternity to be free of this life after I die. I don’t deserve to kill myself until I’ve executed on everything to improve my situation and have exhausted every option.
I’m done playing the shitty character that I was cast as in this life. Fuck my past and other people’s opinion of me. That’s not me. I’m already either ignored or disliked by everybody I know so why the fuck am I still bending to their will? Fuck them. My struggles have given me a goal and purpose. I no longer have an unstable sense of self, I know exactly where I stand and I don’t need to seek confirmation from other people or the mirror anymore. I am willing to undergo the surgeries/hardmaxes/softmaxes I must to improve and fully devote myself to discipline and bettering my life.
Last week, the night after I moved back into my college dorm everything finally clicked. I could hear the guys and girls from my floor laughing and having an amazing time catching up from break while I laid alone on my bed staring at the ceiling. This time, there was no mental gymnastics I could do to explain why I was the only kid isolated on my floor. The truth hit me like a fucking truck and I spent the next few hours looking at myself in the mirror and drowning out everything with loud music. For the next few days I skipped class, slept all day, and basically rotted in my dorm due to having zero energy and absolutely no will to do anything.
As painful as this realization was, like many of the people here who have 100% swallowed the pill, I finally became self aware and unlocked the ability to see myself from a birds eye view.
I’m a 19 year old hapa virgin with terrible acne and a severely recessed lower third who is already fighting hair loss. Yes, I look like a fucking subhuman (3.25-3.5 PSL). Yes, I am the byproduct of a shitty relationship and have garbage genetics. Yes, I’ve acted like an introverted beta bitch and allowed other people to push me around. By most measurable stats I should end up a genetic dead end. Normal people don’t even have to work for the things I’m deprived of, it comes naturally to them. My looksmaxxing routine is compensation for my disgusting genetics and the mark of an inferior man. But at the same time, it’s the only thing I’ve got.
What other choice do I have? I can either whine like a little bitch and rope as my situation continues to deteriorate or I can give looksmaxxing/lifemaxxing everything I have, even if my chances of ascension are slim to none. I’ve literally got nothing left to lose and an eternity to be free of this life after I die. I don’t deserve to kill myself until I’ve executed on everything to improve my situation and have exhausted every option.
I’m done playing the shitty character that I was cast as in this life. Fuck my past and other people’s opinion of me. That’s not me. I’m already either ignored or disliked by everybody I know so why the fuck am I still bending to their will? Fuck them. My struggles have given me a goal and purpose. I no longer have an unstable sense of self, I know exactly where I stand and I don’t need to seek confirmation from other people or the mirror anymore. I am willing to undergo the surgeries/hardmaxes/softmaxes I must to improve and fully devote myself to discipline and bettering my life.
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