Deleted member 6997
Cuckologist
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So, my wife and I have been married for six years, dated for two before that.
While we were dating, she had this friend we'll call Neil (not his real name). She introduced him to me right away and I never got any weird vibes from him at first. We even got along but never really hung out without my wife around.
As our relationship progressed and we started talking about marriage, Neil's own relationship he'd been in fell apart, and he was leaning pretty heavy on my wife for support. Here's where things started to fray a bit.
My wife is a nice person to a fault and a people pleaser. Unfortunately, this got her into some abusive relationships in the past where guys took advantage of her in many ways. Neil was always the one to have her back and a couple times even helped her get away from those dudes. He was a great friend, but he always had a bit of an ulterior motive.
Neil is a borderline "Nice Guy" as Reddit would call him. He wasn't the kind of person to outright call a woman names if she didn't fawn over him for doing something nice, but my intuition from the beginning told me he had a thing for my wife. She sort of knew too but brushed it off because he'd never taken it very far before.
A week before our wedding, we had gone out with some friends, and Neil was in the group. After some drinking, Neil overheard another couple talking about how they liked the idea of an open relationship and sleeping with other people, and Neil decided a week before our wedding would be a great time to try and convince my wife to hop on the "open relationship train" and have some fun with him before getting married to me.
To her credit, my wife came to me right away with this because she found it not just weird on the surface but also the fact he made sure to only talk about it when it was just the two of them. I confronted him right away and immediately kicked him out of the wedding (he was set to be a groomsman).
He was really upset by this and started telling my wife I was just as controlling and abusive as her previous boyfriends. However, she's nice to a fault so she leaves the heavy lifting to me when it comes to dealing with these kinds of conflicts.
He had to go. I explained to her I wasn't going to start off our marriage with this guy who tried to sleep with her in our lives. She fought me on this a bit, obviously, since she knew him for 15 years at this point, but after what was probably our biggest fight ever, she finally understood that his presence wasn't good for us as a couple, and blocked him on everything.
To my surprise, he actually went away for a long time. Wife would hear about him from mutual friends once in a while and we learned he got married at one point, had a baby, lost it, then got divorced in the span of a couple years. Then we found out the real reason his wife left him. Even after losing the baby, I guess they were gonna stay together until he found out he had terminal brain cancer. I guess he called he wife from the doctor with the news and when he got home she was already packing her things.
Wife wanted to reach out to him. I felt for the guy, I really did, so we unblocked him and reached out. He was happy to hear from us and we started hanging out a bit again.
And this is where it gets really bad. He had a seizure a couple weeks ago and his doctors informed him he doesn't have a lot of time left. Couple months at best.
He decides to declare his undying love for my wife. Been in love with her since the day he met her, but she never felt that way back. However, he's begged her to sleep with him just once so he can die knowing what its like to make love to someone he was truly in love with.
Wife tells me all of this and I chuckle a bit until I see the look on her face...shes considering doing it. She feels terrible about not returning those feelings for all those years and feeling like she led him on and used him. She keeps telling me it'll only be one time, with a condom. She feels like she's denying him his dying wish and claims she couldn't live with herself knowing this.
Not gonna lie, I start yelling a little. I tell her he's being just as manipulative and abusive as those guys she used to get mixed up with and this is the same shit he tried to pull before we got married. She's crying and doesn't know what to do. I tell her in no uncertain terms that if she goes through with this, we're done. We had recently been trying for a baby and that's now on hold because of this.
My head is spinning. She knows this is something I won't allow to happen and stay with her after the fact. My life is falling apart and I'm so angry at this guy. Using his terminal illness of all things to try to get my wife in bed with him before he goes to hell, because trust me, if there is one, he deserves to go there for doing this.
She's been crying all day. She's avoiding me and probably thinks I'm a monster. I told her if she ever cared about our marriage she wouldn't have even considered this and how she's acting now has me doubting her entirely. I have no idea how to handle this from here.
TL;DR - Wife's childhood male best friend who caused problems before is back and now he's dying, trying to use his cancer to get my wife to sleep with him and she's actually considering it knowing full well it'll be the end of us.
While we were dating, she had this friend we'll call Neil (not his real name). She introduced him to me right away and I never got any weird vibes from him at first. We even got along but never really hung out without my wife around.
As our relationship progressed and we started talking about marriage, Neil's own relationship he'd been in fell apart, and he was leaning pretty heavy on my wife for support. Here's where things started to fray a bit.
My wife is a nice person to a fault and a people pleaser. Unfortunately, this got her into some abusive relationships in the past where guys took advantage of her in many ways. Neil was always the one to have her back and a couple times even helped her get away from those dudes. He was a great friend, but he always had a bit of an ulterior motive.
Neil is a borderline "Nice Guy" as Reddit would call him. He wasn't the kind of person to outright call a woman names if she didn't fawn over him for doing something nice, but my intuition from the beginning told me he had a thing for my wife. She sort of knew too but brushed it off because he'd never taken it very far before.
A week before our wedding, we had gone out with some friends, and Neil was in the group. After some drinking, Neil overheard another couple talking about how they liked the idea of an open relationship and sleeping with other people, and Neil decided a week before our wedding would be a great time to try and convince my wife to hop on the "open relationship train" and have some fun with him before getting married to me.
To her credit, my wife came to me right away with this because she found it not just weird on the surface but also the fact he made sure to only talk about it when it was just the two of them. I confronted him right away and immediately kicked him out of the wedding (he was set to be a groomsman).
He was really upset by this and started telling my wife I was just as controlling and abusive as her previous boyfriends. However, she's nice to a fault so she leaves the heavy lifting to me when it comes to dealing with these kinds of conflicts.
He had to go. I explained to her I wasn't going to start off our marriage with this guy who tried to sleep with her in our lives. She fought me on this a bit, obviously, since she knew him for 15 years at this point, but after what was probably our biggest fight ever, she finally understood that his presence wasn't good for us as a couple, and blocked him on everything.
To my surprise, he actually went away for a long time. Wife would hear about him from mutual friends once in a while and we learned he got married at one point, had a baby, lost it, then got divorced in the span of a couple years. Then we found out the real reason his wife left him. Even after losing the baby, I guess they were gonna stay together until he found out he had terminal brain cancer. I guess he called he wife from the doctor with the news and when he got home she was already packing her things.
Wife wanted to reach out to him. I felt for the guy, I really did, so we unblocked him and reached out. He was happy to hear from us and we started hanging out a bit again.
And this is where it gets really bad. He had a seizure a couple weeks ago and his doctors informed him he doesn't have a lot of time left. Couple months at best.
He decides to declare his undying love for my wife. Been in love with her since the day he met her, but she never felt that way back. However, he's begged her to sleep with him just once so he can die knowing what its like to make love to someone he was truly in love with.
Wife tells me all of this and I chuckle a bit until I see the look on her face...shes considering doing it. She feels terrible about not returning those feelings for all those years and feeling like she led him on and used him. She keeps telling me it'll only be one time, with a condom. She feels like she's denying him his dying wish and claims she couldn't live with herself knowing this.
Not gonna lie, I start yelling a little. I tell her he's being just as manipulative and abusive as those guys she used to get mixed up with and this is the same shit he tried to pull before we got married. She's crying and doesn't know what to do. I tell her in no uncertain terms that if she goes through with this, we're done. We had recently been trying for a baby and that's now on hold because of this.
My head is spinning. She knows this is something I won't allow to happen and stay with her after the fact. My life is falling apart and I'm so angry at this guy. Using his terminal illness of all things to try to get my wife in bed with him before he goes to hell, because trust me, if there is one, he deserves to go there for doing this.
She's been crying all day. She's avoiding me and probably thinks I'm a monster. I told her if she ever cared about our marriage she wouldn't have even considered this and how she's acting now has me doubting her entirely. I have no idea how to handle this from here.
TL;DR - Wife's childhood male best friend who caused problems before is back and now he's dying, trying to use his cancer to get my wife to sleep with him and she's actually considering it knowing full well it'll be the end of us.
