St Eroid
delusional natty
- Joined
- May 5, 2019
- Posts
- 219
- Reputation
- 194
This post is for my fellow bitches who dont want to hop on jooce (acne, balding not worth it imo). Now I do have to tell you it will take a lot of time to achieve an impressive phiysique naturally but it's possible and hey in 10 years of lifting people might ask you if you're on gear lmao.
Now, if you just sucked cheetos off your fingers and are about to type some typical "gYm iS cOpE MaNg", then gtfo.
So, for most of you spergies, gym is an intimidating place and it was for most of men who workout but what you have to do to ascendis throw yourself into the middle of a lake and learn to swim. Considering most of you are still teens, forcing yourself to go to new environments and facing uncomfortable situations will be a big part of your future so start getting used to it.
Alright so you collected all your spergy courage and are ready to go but there are so many questions in your head.
What do I wear?
converse, shorts and plain t shirt
What do i bring in my bag?
Gym clothes ^, waterbottle (atleast 1litre), flip-flops, towel, shower gel, deo.
Do I shower after?
if you're scared that some old dude will see your lil winkie just go to the shower booth with your underwear on and take it off when you're inside (srs no one cares about your bushy tinker)
What if people will make fun of me
No one cares about you in the gym especialy if you're ugly you'll most likely be invisible. Now if you're not doing some retarded exercises but have a bad form, someone might approach you to give you advice. With advice there are two options:
a) some actually fit guy gives you sound advice
b) some retard is talking shit because he wants to get "advice dopamine rush" in which case just tell him your coach told you to do it this way, so he gtfo.
Thats some questions i came up with by embracing my inner sperg, if you have more feel free to ask.
So you're in the gym, what do you do?
Now my belief is that stronglifts is the best begginer program BUT you have to know how to do the exercises properly. Most of you uncoordinated motherfuckers will most likely have no idea how to do deadlifts, squats, ohp, bench press and rows correctly so you have two options:
a) go online and look it up in which case i would recomend learning one of the exercises per day (for example look up how to do overhead press, go to the gym and practice it with an empty barbell)
b) ask gyms PT to teach you
second option is better and faster but does require human interaction. If you do decide going this route you might get offered a personalised program, I'd sugest you decline it because most of guys I see in the gym following PTs program are doing womans retarded routines.
Also what I personaly dont like about 5x5 is rowing so I'd suggest changing them to weighted pullups.
You should not stay on this program for long (I did), just to grow your base strenght and learn basic movements. I did 5x5 for 1,5 years and it didn't add much to my aesthetic just grew my chicken legs to human leg size. I'd say 6 months should be enough.
What does 5x5 look like?
Workout A:
Squat 5x5
Bench press 5x5
Row 5x5
Workout B:
Squat 5x5
Overhead press 5x5
Deadlift 1x5
Pretty simple and at the start it will be relatively easy, for more info about it use google.
At some point you will find that it gets fucking brutal going through 5 sets of squats at whitch point you should change your program.
I personaly did kinobodys programs and i think they are perfect for aesthetic.
If you are impatient you can skip 5x5 and do any of kinobodys routines it's all fine.
Both of these options are 3 day splits and shouldnt take longer than an hour in the gym (usualy 45 mins)
What about cardio?
Depends on what you like. I dont recommend running on a treadmill everyday for an hour because it is not realisticly sustainable. If you like any sports do that if you dont start walking more, for me 60 mins per day is good enough and a run once per week on saturday 8-10km. Killing yourself doing cardio can be counterproductive as it will rise your stress levels and make you extremely hungry therefore making you overeat.
Everything I wrote above can be used by either fatties or twigs, only thing that would differ in this case is your diet.
Now, if you just sucked cheetos off your fingers and are about to type some typical "gYm iS cOpE MaNg", then gtfo.
So, for most of you spergies, gym is an intimidating place and it was for most of men who workout but what you have to do to ascendis throw yourself into the middle of a lake and learn to swim. Considering most of you are still teens, forcing yourself to go to new environments and facing uncomfortable situations will be a big part of your future so start getting used to it.
Alright so you collected all your spergy courage and are ready to go but there are so many questions in your head.
What do I wear?
converse, shorts and plain t shirt
What do i bring in my bag?
Gym clothes ^, waterbottle (atleast 1litre), flip-flops, towel, shower gel, deo.
Do I shower after?
if you're scared that some old dude will see your lil winkie just go to the shower booth with your underwear on and take it off when you're inside (srs no one cares about your bushy tinker)
What if people will make fun of me
No one cares about you in the gym especialy if you're ugly you'll most likely be invisible. Now if you're not doing some retarded exercises but have a bad form, someone might approach you to give you advice. With advice there are two options:
a) some actually fit guy gives you sound advice
b) some retard is talking shit because he wants to get "advice dopamine rush" in which case just tell him your coach told you to do it this way, so he gtfo.
Thats some questions i came up with by embracing my inner sperg, if you have more feel free to ask.
So you're in the gym, what do you do?
Now my belief is that stronglifts is the best begginer program BUT you have to know how to do the exercises properly. Most of you uncoordinated motherfuckers will most likely have no idea how to do deadlifts, squats, ohp, bench press and rows correctly so you have two options:
a) go online and look it up in which case i would recomend learning one of the exercises per day (for example look up how to do overhead press, go to the gym and practice it with an empty barbell)
b) ask gyms PT to teach you
second option is better and faster but does require human interaction. If you do decide going this route you might get offered a personalised program, I'd sugest you decline it because most of guys I see in the gym following PTs program are doing womans retarded routines.
Also what I personaly dont like about 5x5 is rowing so I'd suggest changing them to weighted pullups.
You should not stay on this program for long (I did), just to grow your base strenght and learn basic movements. I did 5x5 for 1,5 years and it didn't add much to my aesthetic just grew my chicken legs to human leg size. I'd say 6 months should be enough.
What does 5x5 look like?
Workout A:
Squat 5x5
Bench press 5x5
Row 5x5
Workout B:
Squat 5x5
Overhead press 5x5
Deadlift 1x5
Pretty simple and at the start it will be relatively easy, for more info about it use google.
At some point you will find that it gets fucking brutal going through 5 sets of squats at whitch point you should change your program.
I personaly did kinobodys programs and i think they are perfect for aesthetic.
If you are impatient you can skip 5x5 and do any of kinobodys routines it's all fine.
Both of these options are 3 day splits and shouldnt take longer than an hour in the gym (usualy 45 mins)
What about cardio?
Depends on what you like. I dont recommend running on a treadmill everyday for an hour because it is not realisticly sustainable. If you like any sports do that if you dont start walking more, for me 60 mins per day is good enough and a run once per week on saturday 8-10km. Killing yourself doing cardio can be counterproductive as it will rise your stress levels and make you extremely hungry therefore making you overeat.
Everything I wrote above can be used by either fatties or twigs, only thing that would differ in this case is your diet.
