[Story] Year Of The Pig: A 2019 In The Life Of FrothySolutions

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FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
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Messages
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"Memento Mogee" or "Tell Me What You Don't Like About Yourself"

From the start of 2019 all the way through to the end, I'm gonna try to inventory my day. I'm gonna try to do this every day. Probably at the end of the day to make sure I've inventoried everything. Or maybe I'll do multiple posts in a day. I don't know yet. But at least for today, January 1st, this is my journal. A year in the life of me, an oldcel called FrothySolutions.

Why am I doing this? Because Master over on Incels.is said I could. Now he did say this over on Incels.is, but I figure if it's allowed there, it's allowed here. And it's probably safer to post it here because Looksmax is a little more open to what might be considered bragging. And if by some crime of nature I ascend, I can't post that over on Incels.is.

Nah, but seriously folks, I'm actually afraid of getting burned for worship. Which is another thing Looksmax is more open to. And Offtopic is pretty safe out of the way so this shouldn't bother anyone. But why make a journal at all? Because I gotta take stock. "Self-authoring" I think they call it. The years are either speeding by, or stretching out so far that stuff I thought happened in 2017 surprise me to reveal themselves to have happened in 2018. So if I write down my whole year, I'll have an actual record of what did and didn't happen, down to as minute and inconsequential the details as I choose. Thoughts that come to mind, attempts at doing things like a normal person, and so on. And I can look at what I did, the results I got, ask myself if I like those results, and if not? Make the necessary adjustments in 2020. Suppose I was inspired by Uninstall over on Incels.is. His saga of rejections. Maybe I wanna build my own sandcastle. My own small but gradual labor that grows into something big. Not necessarily interesting, but still, wow, he posted, like, every day, didn't he? Something like that. Or maybe I just feel the need to sperg out and this is my outlet. Or maybe if I put the words out in to the ether, a solution will come to me somehow. If I can get it out of the tangled and random cluster of impulses that is my mind as soon as possible, and get my hopes and dreams and fears into plain text.

***

So it's the start of a new year. And there's something electric about it. Because a new year is just pure potential, isn't it? There's this feeling of "Anything can happen! I'm so excited to see what will happen!" This even affects the lowly incel. Maybe not the same as the privileged, but maybe at the start of the year the incel feels just the slightest lowering of inhibition and says "Well why not? Why not go to that bar? Just to see what happens?" Inn't that what the New Year is about? Inn't that the main appeal? Just seeing what will happen? And that's how it is for me too. Sometimes a year seems short, but I think if I write it all down I'll be surprised at how much stuff can surprise me in a year. So maybe I can try and put some purpose behind these days.

In the incel community you've probably heard of something called a "memento mori." It's basically some kind of image or thing or whatever to remind you of your mortality. And I always thought that was kind of a fucked up way to think and live. "Just a reminder: Don't get too happy because you're probably gonna die someday!" The incel community is full of "daily reminders" like these. And they're just the most minor of annoyances for me. But there is this one "daily reminder" that really speaks to me personally. It just perfectly encapsulates everything I want and why I can't have it. And that's why it's my exception to my rule about memento moris. I call it a "Memento Mogee." A reminder that I am mogged by the young, and their hang is not my hang. Even though I want it to be.

Here it is. This scene from Varsity Blues.


I would never creep on high schoolers, what I'm trying to recapture is a shot at college, not high school. But it's still pretty close. This bald guy,about 20+ years older than everyone there, is trying to be part of the crowd. He graduated in 1980 and that party is taking place in 1999. Yadda yadda yadda, the main Wide Receiver for West Caanan hits him in the nuts. Everyone laugh. I do think there's purpose in remembering certain limitations. As long as it's something more than "Everything is pointless because of human mortality." For instance, remembering your limitations might be important if you decide to fight a dragon. It serves the purpose of keeping you from getting eaten or barbecued or kept as a pet. Or hit in the nuts. But I think what really keeps me re-watching this scene is because I want to know my limitations and the things I don't like about myself so that I can know what my problem is and hopefully try to address it. Or take my problems to someone who can help me and get them fixed. I wanna say to someone "I feel like Robert Lott in Varsity Blues. What do I do? How can I be happy?" Maybe 2019 has the answer.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"It's Over(?)" or "Who Will Wind The Clock While I Am Gone?"

It was the first day back to work in 2019. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? Several new security regulations at the office. Specifically, Internet security regulations. Filters, that is. And where once I was able to go on Looksmax and Incels.is, I can't anymore.

There's a lot I can deal with at work. But taking my Internet, that's one of those things. When you're like "That's it. This is my wake up call. I'm quitting this here job as soon as I am able." There's something really empowering about the thought of leaving a shitty job that makes that shitty job at least doable for the time being. Seinfeld had a bit about TV dinners that was similar in sentiment. The TV dinner is a useful wake-up call for the people who eat them. To make them look around and their lives and say "What am I doing? What is this life? I have to get out of this!" I've been working this same job for 10, if not 12 years. I forget when I started. And I have not had a single raise or promotion that I can recall. I just can't believe that after 10-12 years here I should still be where I am. I feel like I should be elsewhere in the company or something. So moments like losing my Internet, and drinking in the fact that I haven't made any progress in 10 years, they make me really consider taking up a new career somehow.

Like, maybe I should go back to college. There's that "pure potential" I was talking about. The thrill of starting something wholly new, and the wonders of what I might find. What if I just went back to college? Kick shit for a while, save some money, and then go back to college for something new? Something not in computers. Because computers, I've been doing that for 10 years and I haven't been able to move. And if I go somewhere else in the industry, they're gonna look at my 10 years of no progress and ask me "So why didn't you get promoted? That looks worrisome to me." Not unlike the plight of the incel. "You haven't had sex, ever? Why would you save yourself for so long? What? It's... involuntary celibacy you say? Eww... what's wrong with you? I feel like I should be worried." Because to most people, if you haven't had sex or gotten promoted, it's because you don't deserve it. Something's wrong with you that's keeping hirers and women away from you.

Fool as I am though, I'm still high off of the pure potential. So I'm like "Just what if, man? What if I just went for it?" What other jobs are out there that I could get that aren't in computers, but will still keep me fed?
 
Future Arablite

Future Arablite

Elementalist
Joined
Oct 16, 2018
Messages
855
"It's Over(?)" or "Who Will Wind The Clock While I Am Gone?"

It was the first day back to work in 2019. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? Several new security regulations at the office. Specifically, Internet security regulations. Filters, that is. And where once I was able to go on Looksmax and Incels.is, I can't anymore.

There's a lot I can deal with at work. But taking my Internet, that's one of those things. When you're like "That's it. This is my wake up call. I'm quitting this here job as soon as I am able." There's something really empowering about the thought of leaving a shitty job that makes that shitty job at least doable for the time being. Seinfeld had a bit about TV dinners that was similar in sentiment. The TV dinner is a useful wake-up call for the people who eat them. To make them look around and their lives and say "What am I doing? What is this life? I have to get out of this!" I've been working this same job for 10, if not 12 years. I forget when I started. And I have not had a single raise or promotion that I can recall. I just can't believe that after 10-12 years here I should still be where I am. I feel like I should be elsewhere in the company or something. So moments like losing my Internet, and drinking in the fact that I haven't made any progress in 10 years, they make me really consider taking up a new career somehow.

Like, maybe I should go back to college. There's that "pure potential" I was talking about. The thrill of starting something wholly new, and the wonders of what I might find. What if I just went back to college? Kick shit for a while, save some money, and then go back to college for something new? Something not in computers. Because computers, I've been doing that for 10 years and I haven't been able to move. And if I go somewhere else in the industry, they're gonna look at my 10 years of no progress and ask me "So why didn't you get promoted? That looks worrisome to me." Not unlike the plight of the incel. "You haven't had sex, ever? Why would you save yourself for so long? What? It's... involuntary celibacy you say? Eww... what's wrong with you? I feel like I should be worried." Because to most people, if you haven't had sex or gotten promoted, it's because you don't deserve it. Something's wrong with you that's keeping hirers and women away from you.

Fool as I am though, I'm still high off of the pure potential. So I'm like "Just what if, man? What if I just went for it?" What other jobs are out there that I could get that aren't in computers, but will still keep me fed?
How old are you ?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
How old are you ?
45.

can u make a tl;dr for lowiq cels like me and @Swagwaffle
Rofl please do so . This is the most epic longest thread in looksmax history.
A TL;DR: is hard to do for a journal, because a journal is a collection of ramblings. But I'll try?





"XXX Marks the Spot" or "No College For Oldcels"

TL;DR: Another day at work, filter still bans Incels.is and Looksmax.org, but not Netflix. Also my back has started hurting ever since I got back to work. Building maintenance is taking the Christmas ornaments down around the building. Some people still have their Christmas lights up, but without snow on the ground it looks disappointing. I had a very expensive grilled cheese sandwich at the lunch truck parked outside the office building today. This lack of snow and affordable grilled cheese is making me reconsider living where I live. Maybe I should move. To a place with more tiddy and booty. Go to college at a place with more tiddy and booty. But what's a good fun place? Harpo's sounds like a fun place to be. But where is Harpo's? I'm on a mission to look at pictures and video of fun things happening and figure out where these fun things are taking place, and hopefully go and live in these fun places. But maybe the fun is happening all around me, and I'm not invited. Also, my toothbrush is bad at cleaning my teeth.


Another day on the grind. And ever since the work year started back up again I've been off kilter. It's not for lack of sleep, I got a full 8 hours and change last night but I was still racked with lower back pain and dry mouth all day. This didn't start until the day I went back to work. Sign after sign that my work situation isn't working. But though they've blocked Incels.is and Looksmax.org, what they haven't blocked was Netflix. So I watched that at work today. Apparently Netflix is letting me watch their movies for free? Last I checked that was an extra thing I had to pay extra for. With this, I'm like, why am I giving YouTube any of my money?

Also today, the building maintenance people are starting to take down the Christmas decorations at the office. Speaking of Christmas decorations, on the way to work some of the houses still had their Christmas decorations up. It's still early in the year. But there was no snow on the ground. Or in the air or anywhere. And it looked just... disappointing. Because it was a reminder of how it didn't snow all season. And how it barely snows at all anymore. For the past while, in my area at least, it's been a December with scarce snow, then sometime in January winter suddenly blows its load all over everything. But I checked the weather, and this year? It doesn't look like we'll even get that. Winter is getting shorter and shorter. It rained in Times Square during New Year's Eve. They say the last time that happened was 30 years ago. I don't remember it like that but it's true, apparently.

But here's the silver lining. One of the reasons I live where I live is because I like snow. Since I was a kid people talked to me about how they wanna live where it's summer all year long, or where the weather is milder, and things like that. But I always said "Yeah but I would miss snow at Christmas." Now it looks like I'm missing snow at Christmas no matter where I live. So now I don't have to be bound to where I am. And frankly, I've been looking for a reason to leave. And maybe live somewhere warmer. No snow? I have no reason to live somewhere cold.

It's all a part of this "New Year, New Me" buzz that I'm still feeling. Get out of this job somehow. Go back to college and get a better one. And also live somewhere a little more suited to me. Today there was a lunch truck outside selling sandwiches. And they had a grilled cheese for $7.00. And I thought "Oooh, grilled cheese." But when I bought it, like a lot of things in my life it eventually dawned on me how wrong it was. This sandwich, first of all I was expecting much bigger. And if I had just drifted though my life like I always do I maybe wouldn't have realized just how much of a scam that sandwich was, $7.00 doesn't feel like much when you're awash in the deliciousness of grilled cheese. It really gets you through the work day. But when you stop to think about it?

But more than to not have to deal with the filter at work, more than to not be gouged on grilled cheese, I wanna go to college and/or live somewhere else to live the life of an Ascended person.

I feel like I'm locationcel'd. So what I wanna try is surrounding myself with the right environment. The people I wanna interact with. The women I wanna interact with. They might not accept me, but I just wanna see what happens if I'm around. I feel like the environment I need to be in is either college, or college adjacent. Because that's where the culture of partying and hookups is. It's not ascension for ascension's sake I dream of. In my wildest dreams? I wanna do like they do on College Rules and State Snaps and things like that. And I only think it can happen in college. Why do I think this though? Other people have told me that people who aren't anywhere near a college somehow end up having sex. And I'm sure that's true, but... take this admittedly unrealistic hypothetical. Let's JUST SAY that a group of women wanna find hot guys to invite to their party where there will be drinking and probably physical intimacy of some kind. If they're not in college, surrounded by a community of peers, where are they gonna find people to invite? If I was a hot guy, how would they find me? Me and those women would have to somehow be within the same community. Because if we're strangers who have nothing to do with one another, how are they supposed to find me? On the street? But college, there are people everywhere. Peers everywhere. Who you don't know yet but would like to know. There's no other community quite like that but college or some kind of school. Some people say "Just ask your friends to ask their friends." That's not the same. It has to be looking around for people at random who are probably cool with college orgies. Friends of friends are too close. You probably already know them a little. I need to hook up with people who I only know as much as I would know, say, a classmate.

But it's not just any college environment I'm looking for. I have reason to believe some colleges aren't as conducive to this as others. In fact, some areas in general probably aren't as conducive to fun. I don't just mean in colleges. This is what I was getting at when I was talking about living somewhere else. I have these theories. Like, warm weather areas have more sexy people in them who think about sex. More than areas that have snow. Why? Because it's hot all the time in the non-snow areas. And so you wanna wear less clothes. And you don't wanna be unattractive, being as close to naked as you are. Beach cities probably have people in their bathing suits even when they're not going to the beach. It's just the way people dress, in case they do go to the beach. But that's not how it is up north. We're the land of sweatshirts and cheesesteaks. We have no reason to dress skimpy and every reason to cover our bodies. So we have less reason to worry about how are bodies look to people. In fact? We probably NEED to be fatter than the non-snow people. Notice how we're all fat? To protect ourselves against winter's devastating stroke? That's why all of the porn is in California. Why the Bang Bus patrols in Florida. And why a very dear to my heart College Rules video called "The Scavenger Hunt" also takes place in Florida. I forget which city, but the last time I watched it I was able to figure it out from the landmarks. When it came to my internal discussion about how I'm locationcel'd, the choice was either "Have a cozy and white Christmas with portly, humble sweatshirt wearers, or have a green and bright Christmas with women who spend a good portion of their year barely covering their sweat-drenched voluptuousness in denim cutoffs and bikini tops." It really was a hard choice. But climate change seems to have made the choice for me. In for a penny. If there's no snow anyway, I might as well go south.

Now you might be thinking "Your basing a lot of your endeavors on what you see in porn." If you're from IncelTears, you're definitely thinking that. And I know a lot of porn is fake. But I'm not basing my endeavors on porn in general. I'm basing my endeavors on pornographic content that is 100% real. Sexual encounters that I know are happening without being staged or paid for. I'm not hopping on PornHub and typing in "college," I'm not that sloppy. If anything, I'm hopping on YouPorn and typing in "college." I'm not seeking "porn" as it were. I'm seeking amateur accounts of things that actually happen. And maybe happen to be filmed or taken pictures of. And I ask myself "How do I get to do that?" What I do know is that I'm not seeing any of the fun stuff other incels are seeing and wishing they could participate in. People are all like "Browsing Tinder between 18-24 is suifuel, bikinis and booty shots." And I don't see this when I browse Tinder. People talk about all the beautiful and fun women at clubs. But my clubs are pretty average fare. Couples on the street? I'm not saying that's what I'm looking for, but that's another thing other incels are seeing and I'm not. I must be in the wrong place.

So where's a good place? What's a good metric? At first I thought I'd try looking for the places that have the most sex. But I thought on it, and you know what I should look for? The places that drink the most. Because I'm not looking for mere sex. I'm looking for sloppy, uninhibited debauchery. But not necessarily a tourist destination. It has to be part of the everyday life there. Some people suggest Las Vegas, but that's not what I mean. It's that way because it's "trying" to be. It's not so much part of the "culture" as it is part of the "market." But even this might not be enough to pin down a place I should go. For instance, 24/7 Wall Street says that states like North Dakota and Wisconsin are the drunkest states. And maybe I'm not in the know about North Dakota, but when I think "drunk," I have a very specific vision in mind. A little backstory. One of my great copes is prank phone calls. Mostly soundboard prank calls. And one of the soundboards people use is called "Drunk Girls (Lauren, Justine, & Ashley)." And the thing about the prank call/soundboard prank call community is, there's a lot of secrets and lost content. I wanted to provide the soundboard itself so you could listen to all of the sound clips at your leisure, but I can't find it. So here's the most recent prank phone call video using that soundboard.


I'm gonna have to ask NomadCowAtBK where to get the soundboards he uses. But these clips sound like the kind of women I wanna hang out with. This sounds like the kind of environment I wanna be in. And is North Dakota really famous for this? I think the "drunk" they're getting in places like these is more like "hunker down inside because it's cold" drunk. I don't think "drunkenness" necessarily means "party environment" in this case. So maybe just looking for drunkenness isn't accurate enough.

I think my most accurate means is finding actual pictures/video of fun things happening, and figuring out where they happened. For instance, Lauren, Justine, & Ashley mentioned that they were at Harpo's. Sounds like it's really fun at Harpo's. But where is Harpo's? NomadCowAtBK's channel seems to suggest that it's in Missouri. But there are several Harpo's across the country, I don't know if he's right guessing that the Missouri Harpo's is the fun one. Or "The Scavenger Hunt." What I know for true about "The Scavenger Hunt" is that students go/went to that school who were willing to do a series of sex related challenges. And they did. So if I was a student there, maybe I could find more people like that. Problem is, it can be hard pinpointing where these fun events are taking place and learning the stories behind them. For instance, State Snaps. They make a point to keep their submissions anonymous. Unless someone comes clean on Instagram and they don't always do that. But maybe I'll see a picture of some party and some college and some woman is letting people pour drinks on her ass. I think "I wish I could've been there. Is this the kind of school that does a lot of this kind of thing? What is this school?" And I did find a picture like that.


And I did try to find out where it took place and what the story behind it was. But so far my methods haven't turned up anything because State Snaps is anonymous. In fact, the original blog post it came from is gone now.

But I saw that, and I was like "These were the kinds of things I wanted to go to in college." I can't tell you all of the breadcrumbs I chased over this picture. I cannot recall the hours I spent poring over every frame in hopes that I might maybe be able to read that poster in the background or recognize a landmark that would tell me what place this is. The original blog post had the raw HD video and it had music. I even went as far as trying to identify the music, as if that would help me narrow this place down. So I can somehow be where things like this are happening. There's another picture that was really good, but not only do I not know where it came from, I don't even have the picture anymore. It was this guy in a college shirt, flanked by two naked girls covered in some kind of whipped cream. It was a text meme saying something to the effect of "This is what your parents would want you to waste their money on." Har har, sarcasm. I do believe it was a red shirt. But that picture, wow, I was like "This is the kind of life I wanted to live in college." And the events depicted in these pictures? We know for sure that they happened. So if it can happen to people, why can't it happen to me? How do I get it to happen to me? Make friends with naked creamy girls I see on campus?

Incels.is says "This kind of stuff happens at every college. Every college has women looking for hot guys to invite back to the dorm for a dick sharing." But I can't be sure of that just yet. But then, maybe it's me that's not conducive to fun. Because when I went to school, I know there was partying. I saw them lining the streets. I don't know if sex happened at those parties, but the fact is, I wasn't at those parties. So for all I know drunken debauchery did happen at my school, does happen at every school, but it only happens for the right people. And yet? I cannot find any amateur footage from my school on PornHub. Or YouPorn. One more thing though. What I don't want for myself is to be the "old guy" in any of these situations. I don't wanna go to college, or some college-adjacent social community, and be Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School. Or Will Ferrell in Old School. Or Melissa McCarthy in Life of the Party. You know the drill. I wanna blend in. Not stand out, even if they don't mind my being old. Because State Snaps does have the odd old man or woman, but every time they show they captions are like "Wow, someone old is doing this young thing!" And that's maybe what holds me back the most. That's maybe why I might not be conducive to fun. Because I'm too old for that kind of fun. The fun I wanna have, it's hiding from me.

I went home and brushed my teeth. I deliberately left food in my teeth from my day's meals to see if my toothbrush could get it, but it failed spectacularly. If I can't find a better location, maybe I need to find a better toothbrush.
 
Nibba

Nibba

Using HGH at 6'4 Crew
Joined
Aug 11, 2018
Messages
17,075
:feelshmm::sneaky:(y):feelshmm:
Free shitpost thread
 
Insomniac

Insomniac

ϟϟ A U T I S M ϟϟ
Joined
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Messages
8,081
I appreciate the amount of effort put into this thread.
 
Future Arablite

Future Arablite

Elementalist
Joined
Oct 16, 2018
Messages
855
45.





A TL;DR: is hard to do for a journal, because a journal is a collection of ramblings. But I'll try?





"XXX Marks the Spot" or "No College For Oldcels"

TL;DR: Another day at work, filter still bans Incels.is and Looksmax.org, but not Netflix. Also my back has started hurting ever since I got back to work. Building maintenance is taking the Christmas ornaments down around the building. Some people still have their Christmas lights up, but without snow on the ground it looks disappointing. I had a very expensive grilled cheese sandwich at the lunch truck parked outside the office building today. This lack of snow and affordable grilled cheese is making me reconsider living where I live. Maybe I should move. To a place with more tiddy and booty. Go to college at a place with more tiddy and booty. But what's a good fun place? Harpo's sounds like a fun place to be. But where is Harpo's? I'm on a mission to look at pictures and video of fun things happening and figure out where these fun things are taking place, and hopefully go and live in these fun places. But maybe the fun is happening all around me, and I'm not invited. Also, my toothbrush is bad at cleaning my teeth.


Another day on the grind. And ever since the work year started back up again I've been off kilter. It's not for lack of sleep, I got a full 8 hours and change last night but I was still racked with lower back pain and dry mouth all day. This didn't start until the day I went back to work. Sign after sign that my work situation isn't working. But though they've blocked Incels.is and Looksmax.org, what they haven't blocked was Netflix. So I watched that at work today. Apparently Netflix is letting me watch their movies for free? Last I checked that was an extra thing I had to pay extra for. With this, I'm like, why am I giving YouTube any of my money?

Also today, the building maintenance people are starting to take down the Christmas decorations at the office. Speaking of Christmas decorations, on the way to work some of the houses still had their Christmas decorations up. It's still early in the year. But there was no snow on the ground. Or in the air or anywhere. And it looked just... disappointing. Because it was a reminder of how it didn't snow all season. And how it barely snows at all anymore. For the past while, in my area at least, it's been a December with scarce snow, then sometime in January winter suddenly blows its load all over everything. But I checked the weather, and this year? It doesn't look like we'll even get that. Winter is getting shorter and shorter. It rained in Times Square during New Year's Eve. They say the last time that happened was 30 years ago. I don't remember it like that but it's true, apparently.

But here's the silver lining. One of the reasons I live where I live is because I like snow. Since I was a kid people talked to me about how they wanna live where it's summer all year long, or where the weather is milder, and things like that. But I always said "Yeah but I would miss snow at Christmas." Now it looks like I'm missing snow at Christmas no matter where I live. So now I don't have to be bound to where I am. And frankly, I've been looking for a reason to leave. And maybe live somewhere warmer. No snow? I have no reason to live somewhere cold.

It's all a part of this "New Year, New Me" buzz that I'm still feeling. Get out of this job somehow. Go back to college and get a better one. And also live somewhere a little more suited to me. Today there was a lunch truck outside selling sandwiches. And they had a grilled cheese for $7.00. And I thought "Oooh, grilled cheese." But when I bought it, like a lot of things in my life it eventually dawned on me how wrong it was. This sandwich, first of all I was expecting much bigger. And if I had just drifted though my life like I always do I maybe wouldn't have realized just how much of a scam that sandwich was, $7.00 doesn't feel like much when you're awash in the deliciousness of grilled cheese. It really gets you through the work day. But when you stop to think about it?

But more than to not have to deal with the filter at work, more than to not be gouged on grilled cheese, I wanna go to college and/or live somewhere else to live the life of an Ascended person.

I feel like I'm locationcel'd. So what I wanna try is surrounding myself with the right environment. The people I wanna interact with. The women I wanna interact with. They might not accept me, but I just wanna see what happens if I'm around. I feel like the environment I need to be in is either college, or college adjacent. Because that's where the culture of partying and hookups is. It's not ascension for ascension's sake I dream of. In my wildest dreams? I wanna do like they do on College Rules and State Snaps and things like that. And I only think it can happen in college. Why do I think this though? Other people have told me that people who aren't anywhere near a college somehow end up having sex. And I'm sure that's true, but... take this admittedly unrealistic hypothetical. Let's JUST SAY that a group of women wanna find hot guys to invite to their party where there will be drinking and probably physical intimacy of some kind. If they're not in college, surrounded by a community of peers, where are they gonna find people to invite? If I was a hot guy, how would they find me? Me and those women would have to somehow be within the same community. Because if we're strangers who have nothing to do with one another, how are they supposed to find me? On the street? But college, there are people everywhere. Peers everywhere. Who you don't know yet but would like to know. There's no other community quite like that but college or some kind of school. Some people say "Just ask your friends to ask their friends." That's not the same. It has to be looking around for people at random who are probably cool with college orgies. Friends of friends are too close. You probably already know them a little. I need to hook up with people who I only know as much as I would know, say, a classmate.

But it's not just any college environment I'm looking for. I have reason to believe some colleges aren't as conducive to this as others. In fact, some areas in general probably aren't as conducive to fun. I don't just mean in colleges. This is what I was getting at when I was talking about living somewhere else. I have these theories. Like, warm weather areas have more sexy people in them who think about sex. More than areas that have snow. Why? Because it's hot all the time in the non-snow areas. And so you wanna wear less clothes. And you don't wanna be unattractive, being as close to naked as you are. Beach cities probably have people in their bathing suits even when they're not going to the beach. It's just the way people dress, in case they do go to the beach. But that's not how it is up north. We're the land of sweatshirts and cheesesteaks. We have no reason to dress skimpy and every reason to cover our bodies. So we have less reason to worry about how are bodies look to people. In fact? We probably NEED to be fatter than the non-snow people. Notice how we're all fat? To protect ourselves against winter's devastating stroke? That's why all of the porn is in California. Why the Bang Bus patrols in Florida. And why a very dear to my heart College Rules video called "The Scavenger Hunt" also takes place in Florida. I forget which city, but the last time I watched it I was able to figure it out from the landmarks. When it came to my internal discussion about how I'm locationcel'd, the choice was either "Have a cozy and white Christmas with portly, humble sweatshirt wearers, or have a green and bright Christmas with women who spend a good portion of their year barely covering their sweat-drenched voluptuousness in denim cutoffs and bikini tops." It really was a hard choice. But climate change seems to have made the choice for me. In for a penny. If there's no snow anyway, I might as well go south.

Now you might be thinking "Your basing a lot of your endeavors on what you see in porn." If you're from IncelTears, you're definitely thinking that. And I know a lot of porn is fake. But I'm not basing my endeavors on porn in general. I'm basing my endeavors on pornographic content that is 100% real. Sexual encounters that I know are happening without being staged or paid for. I'm not hopping on PornHub and typing in "college," I'm not that sloppy. If anything, I'm hopping on YouPorn and typing in "college." I'm not seeking "porn" as it were. I'm seeking amateur accounts of things that actually happen. And maybe happen to be filmed or taken pictures of. And I ask myself "How do I get to do that?" What I do know is that I'm not seeing any of the fun stuff other incels are seeing and wishing they could participate in. People are all like "Browsing Tinder between 18-24 is suifuel, bikinis and booty shots." And I don't see this when I browse Tinder. People talk about all the beautiful and fun women at clubs. But my clubs are pretty average fare. Couples on the street? I'm not saying that's what I'm looking for, but that's another thing other incels are seeing and I'm not. I must be in the wrong place.

So where's a good place? What's a good metric? At first I thought I'd try looking for the places that have the most sex. But I thought on it, and you know what I should look for? The places that drink the most. Because I'm not looking for mere sex. I'm looking for sloppy, uninhibited debauchery. But not necessarily a tourist destination. It has to be part of the everyday life there. Some people suggest Las Vegas, but that's not what I mean. It's that way because it's "trying" to be. It's not so much part of the "culture" as it is part of the "market." But even this might not be enough to pin down a place I should go. For instance, 24/7 Wall Street says that states like North Dakota and Wisconsin are the drunkest states. And maybe I'm not in the know about North Dakota, but when I think "drunk," I have a very specific vision in mind. A little backstory. One of my great copes is prank phone calls. Mostly soundboard prank calls. And one of the soundboards people use is called "Drunk Girls (Lauren, Justine, & Ashley)." And the thing about the prank call/soundboard prank call community is, there's a lot of secrets and lost content. I wanted to provide the soundboard itself so you could listen to all of the sound clips at your leisure, but I can't find it. So here's the most recent prank phone call video using that soundboard.


I'm gonna have to ask NomadCowAtBK where to get the soundboards he uses. But these clips sound like the kind of women I wanna hang out with. This sounds like the kind of environment I wanna be in. And is North Dakota really famous for this? I think the "drunk" they're getting in places like these is more like "hunker down inside because it's cold" drunk. I don't think "drunkenness" necessarily means "party environment" in this case. So maybe just looking for drunkenness isn't accurate enough.

I think my most accurate means is finding actual pictures/video of fun things happening, and figuring out where they happened. For instance, Lauren, Justine, & Ashley mentioned that they were at Harpo's. Sounds like it's really fun at Harpo's. But where is Harpo's? NomadCowAtBK's channel seems to suggest that it's in Missouri. But there are several Harpo's across the country, I don't know if he's right guessing that the Missouri Harpo's is the fun one. Or "The Scavenger Hunt." What I know for true about "The Scavenger Hunt" is that students go/went to that school who were willing to do a series of sex related challenges. And they did. So if I was a student there, maybe I could find more people like that. Problem is, it can be hard pinpointing where these fun events are taking place and learning the stories behind them. For instance, State Snaps. They make a point to keep their submissions anonymous. Unless someone comes clean on Instagram and they don't always do that. But maybe I'll see a picture of some party and some college and some woman is letting people pour drinks on her ass. I think "I wish I could've been there. Is this the kind of school that does a lot of this kind of thing? What is this school?" And I did find a picture like that.


And I did try to find out where it took place and what the story behind it was. But so far my methods haven't turned up anything because State Snaps is anonymous. In fact, the original blog post it came from is gone now.

But I saw that, and I was like "These were the kinds of things I wanted to go to in college." I can't tell you all of the breadcrumbs I chased over this picture. I cannot recall the hours I spent poring over every frame in hopes that I might maybe be able to read that poster in the background or recognize a landmark that would tell me what place this is. The original blog post had the raw HD video and it had music. I even went as far as trying to identify the music, as if that would help me narrow this place down. So I can somehow be where things like this are happening. There's another picture that was really good, but not only do I not know where it came from, I don't even have the picture anymore. It was this guy in a college shirt, flanked by two naked girls covered in some kind of whipped cream. It was a text meme saying something to the effect of "This is what your parents would want you to waste their money on." Har har, sarcasm. I do believe it was a red shirt. But that picture, wow, I was like "This is the kind of life I wanted to live in college." And the events depicted in these pictures? We know for sure that they happened. So if it can happen to people, why can't it happen to me? How do I get it to happen to me? Make friends with naked creamy girls I see on campus?

Incels.is says "This kind of stuff happens at every college. Every college has women looking for hot guys to invite back to the dorm for a dick sharing." But I can't be sure of that just yet. But then, maybe it's me that's not conducive to fun. Because when I went to school, I know there was partying. I saw them lining the streets. I don't know if sex happened at those parties, but the fact is, I wasn't at those parties. So for all I know drunken debauchery did happen at my school, does happen at every school, but it only happens for the right people. And yet? I cannot find any amateur footage from my school on PornHub. Or YouPorn. One more thing though. What I don't want for myself is to be the "old guy" in any of these situations. I don't wanna go to college, or some college-adjacent social community, and be Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School. Or Will Ferrell in Old School. Or Melissa McCarthy in Life of the Party. You know the drill. I wanna blend in. Not stand out, even if they don't mind my being old. Because State Snaps does have the odd old man or woman, but every time they show they captions are like "Wow, someone old is doing this young thing!" And that's maybe what holds me back the most. That's maybe why I might not be conducive to fun. Because I'm too old for that kind of fun. The fun I wanna have, it's hiding from me.

I went home and brushed my teeth. I deliberately left food in my teeth from my day's meals to see if my toothbrush could get it, but it failed spectacularly. If I can't find a better location, maybe I need to find a better toothbrush.
Sorry to break it to you but at 45 it's too late for that experience, if you were at least in your late 20's or even 30 it would be possible in some way or the other.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"What Type of Mage are You?" or "A Level Cap For Looksmaxing"

TL;DR: Turns out I'm too old to looksmax like I wanna looksmax. Too old to pursue what most people here are pursuing. I've been thinking about the "consolation prize" that is the rest of my life even if I tried to live it to the fullest. Looking at people younger and taller and with more SMV than I do. There's a new employee at my office who's younger, and I envy him. But I try to look at myself from the best perspective possible, like those quizzes from the early to mid 2000s. Still watching Netflix, really enjoying the Marvel stuff. Trying to follow the Marvel example. Nephew is staying at my place until break ends. He hasn't been doing a lot of partying, and while most people probably consider hard partying to do more harm than good, I just worry that he might regret not having as much fun as he could. My nephew is doing something with his friends in the other room, while I listen to a prank phone calls livestream. My life isn't great, but considering the best possible life I could live, is it worth improving?



Sorry to break it to you but at 45 it's too late for that experience, if you were at least in your late 20's or even 30 it would be possible in some way or the other.
I kinda figured this. That's why I made this thread a while ago, to ask if it was true. I don't think everyone in the thread understood what I was getting at though. The title was "How old is too old to looksmax?" so maybe I should've titled it a little more accurately. But I thought the text inside conveyed what I was getting at? I was asking what age is too old to do what @Future Arablite says I'm too old to do. But what I got was a bunch of people saying "It's never too late to looksmax, because there are always benefits to looksmaxxing. Even non-sexual benefits." And I'm thinking "Well of course I mean sexual benefits. Who gives a damn about the other benefits???" I was asking when is it too old to do this "going around casually slaying" thing you guys are trying to do. When is it time for me to what "old men" must do? Settle down, or whatever it is? I think @GingerMan75 was implying that you can do this at any age. That old men can still slay like boys if they looksmax. But maybe I'm extrapolating too much of what I wanna hear from...

It's never to late. If you take care of yourself you can date women that are much younger than you at any age.
It's Saturday, but I spent my whole Friday workday thinking about that thread, and @Future Arablite and what he said, and basically my limitations being how old I am. And everything else wrong with me. The cards I'm holding at this point in my life. It's the top of the year at the office, so new hires are coming in. My boss came back from his holiday (His is longer than everyone's obviously) and he brought with him news of some big expansion at the office. We're gonna be maybe tripling the on site staff this year, and soon. Another one of the reasons I think I should leave. Because maybe with this kind of staff around, things won't fall apart if I go. Anyway, the first of the new hires he brought in is this much younger guy. It's strange, at my place of business, or at least in my department, the employees are all older women with a few younger men peppered in. And then there's me. The oldest of the "young men." This new guy is another one of the young men, and he's not just younger than me, he's taller than me. He's got kind of a Drake thing going on. Or an Alfred Enoch thing going on. Somewhere between those two. And for the most part I'm pretty content with my life even though it's lacking. But seeing this guy? I was a little envious. I'm not a heterosexual woman, but if I had to put myself in one's head, I would imagine this guy gives off kind of a princely charm. With a twist of "adorkable" vulnerability. In a trope, he's the handsome but soft-spoken and levelheaded guy who gets dragged onto the dance floor by the overbearing and vibrant girl coming on too strong. Y'know and he's like "Whoooaaaaa, ma'am please control yourself!" Anyway, we haven't had many dudes (read: competition) coming in for work so he came as a surprise. Not that I'm trying to romance any of my co-workers, but that's how it is between dudes. ESPECIALLY on Looksmax.org. It's always competition or a mogging game. For everything and everyone. Even when we don't want the prize. Especially on Looksmax.org.

I think what people are trying to tell me is "You can't do what I do. But try and enjoy your unique lot in life anyway." So I've been trying to assess and summarize who I am and what I like and stuff like that. Breaking myself down as if I was a character in a story. To see what the best I can do with what I've got is. It's a lot like those quizzes we all used to take back in the mid aughts. Remember those? Lemme take you back to a time when America Online was starting to lose its grip, and Facebook was barely finding its own. A sweet spot in the middle where just about everybody had to have their own website. Lots of decentralization. Lots of randomcore. Lots of emo kids. Lots of alt rock. And lots of those quizzes that told you what your inner animal was or what your Pokémon type was or what your Hogwarts house was. A lot of it was steeped in fantasy and fandom. Because fandoms of that kinda stuff was big. I daresay anime in the US was bigger back then than it is now. But these quizzes, yeah, they basically told us who we are/would be in the worlds we loved. Back then you kinda had to know your Hogwarts house because interacting in the fandom was dependent on it. It was like having your own character or persona. Or "fursona" if you were trying to figure out what animal you were. And I was big into these kinds of quizzes because I believed that to know thyself was the first step towards living. It really was. For instance, the kinds of clothes I wore. What was my fashion? Shaved head, rolled up sleeves, swoled up biceps? Is that really my "style?" Does it match my personality? What is my personality? And what clothes correspond to it? I had to get all that down on paper first. So I was trying to figure out my inner animal and Hogwarts house and all that. If by some miracle I was beamed into the world of Harry Potter or Pokémon or Dragon Ball Z or whatever, I wanted to know what kind of person I would be. And that was the point (and appeal) of quizzes. To see ourselves in the books and shows we liked.

But why is what I'm doing now as an oldcel like those quizzes? Well, do you remember how these quizzes always tried to make every result sound good, no matter which one you got? Because that result was you, and you should not only be proud of the you that you are, but you must come to terms with it because it's the only you that you'll ever get. Like this old quiz, can't believe I managed to find it. One of many "What Type of Mage are You?" quizzes that existed, on a website called Muted-Faith. Sad story, the original Muted-Faith is no more. Because the webmistress, Angel "Inqy" Yates, died of mysterious complications the hospital couldn't determine. Her forum buddy, "Cherie," re-hosted it in memoriam. I took it back when she was alive. I got the Earth Mage.


This was basically the same result every quiet bookish person got. The nerds. But taking this quiz, you're not a nerd, you're an Earth Mage. So you feel a little better about being a nerd. Problem with that though? Trying to make all of the results sound equally good doesn't always work. Like with me. When I got Earth Mage I said "No way! I'm an Illusionist for sure!!!" Now, I could've lied to myself and retaken the quiz over and over leaning towards answers that would've gotten me the Illusionist, but I didn't. In my heart I knew I was an Earth Mage. Or at least I was at the time. If I can't lie about who I am on the quiz, I'll just change who I am. Change my personality and outlook. So that when next I take the quiz, I can answer it honestly and be an Illusionist. Or I could just accept being an Earth Mage.

And that's the takeaway from these quizzes. I could try and change who I am into something else. That's "looksmaxing." But at 45 maybe I can't be an Illusionist like I wanna be. So if I can't, maybe I should just appreciate what I am as something cool. Or something of value. Like the quizzes say. I'm not a nerd! I'm an "Earth Mage!" That's cool, right? I'm not an old virgin, I'm a "sagely hermit." MGTOW does this. It's not that you can't get laid, you're just on "Monk Mode." You're a monk. Monks are cool, right? They're disciplined and can do kung fu. So if what people tell me is true and that I'm too old to live the life I wanna live, maybe I can find the value in living the life I can live. By looking at it through fantasy fandom lenses.

Speaking of which, I'm still watching Netflix because that's all I can do for fun at work. I'm watching Season 3 of Daredevil. I'm only up to Episode 3, but I know that all of the Marvel stuff is getting cancelled soon so don't worry about spoiling anything for me. I've always really dug the relationship between Matt and Father Lantom. Lantom is the folksy man in charge at the church. Usually with priests and whatnot as advice figures, stories will try to subvert the usual tropes. And Lantom is no exception. He's got a fallible "Well, that's Irish Catholicism for ya hardeehar" air about him. He's very chill. And this season we see that he manages, or at least has power of delegation to, a team of nuns. And this season so far seems to have replaced Father Lantom with Sister Maggie, who is also in the same kinda "subversion of the usual tropes" family as Lantom. Where Lantom was chill and folksy, Maggie is no-nonsense but doting. If this were Incels.is I probably couldn't say this, but Maggie really fills out a habit. Almost makes me wish I were Catholic and an orphan. So she could talk me through some of the turbulent years of my life. Like puberty? I'm watching these shows, trying to imagine myself in these universes. Like the quizzes taught me. If I can see myself as something cool in universes like these I can invest more esteem in myself. I forget which episode it was, but Matt was moping in the basement or something about his recent injuries, and Sister Maggie was all like "There's kids up there worse off than you and they're not moping, you have to find your courage again." And that rang true to me. If nothing else I should try and follow the examples of the truly fucked, and see how they cope with it. But then there was this other episode. I think it was another episode. It was another conversation with Matt & Sister Maggie. Matt basically asks her "If you couldn't do what you feel like you just had to do, were meant to do, were born to do, your calling, the only thing that can truly fulfill you, wouldn't you at least grieve?" And that rang true to me too. How sad am I allowed to be that I can't live the life that I hoped to live? That my life, as I hoped it would be, is over now? Before it started? I'm gonna have to watch the rest of the season/series to see how Matt reconciles these two points.

Punisher is also coming soon. A lot sooner than Stranger Things, that's for sure. Really not smart to beat around the bush with Stranger Things. Child actors are like milk, you've got a VERY limited window to work with. But Punisher is coming soon and that also kinda resonates with me as far as incel stuff and sadness about life. @Cuyen might agree. He's the guy on Incels.is with the Punisher avatar and signature.


In the Season 2 Date Announcement trailer, we see Frank, and we also see Billy Russo/Jigsaw. Both of them, very haunted men. And I look amongst my incel friends, and think about how haunted they are. But the line that sticks out for me most in the trailer is when Frank says "Someone told me once, life is just trying not to be lonely." Oooh, that got me thinking. It made me sad. For the lonely people.

Speaking of not being lonely, my nephew and his friends are over at my place for break. I thought most colleges would be starting to get back in session around this time, but his apparently isn't? Also, I find it strange that he'd wanna live with me and not with his parents. I'm reluctant to give him any kind of advice because I'm a loser, but if I had his youth and his height I would've been hitting the gym at... let's say 17. So by 18 I would be reasonably eye-catching without a shirt. If I had his youth and height, that is. He could still make it work, he's only a freshman so he's got quite a bit of time, but he's not interested in the campus singles. He's got his own circle of townie friends from high school that he'd rather hang out with. I just hope he's happy. Not everyone needs my dreams of drunken debauchery to feel like they've lived. But I don't want him to be watching a video of a bunch of sorority sister proudly singing about all the cases they drank and cocks they sucked and wishing he had been the one with the cases and the cock.


That's Georgia Southern University, Alpha Omicron Pi Sorority. In case you're like me and actively trying to find out where all of the case-drinking cocksuckers are. I asked my nephew if they're doing things like this at his school, but he's got no knowledge of it. And that's my fear, that there's less cocksucking at some colleges than others. Or maybe my nephew is just a nerd like I was and unaware of the level of cocksucking happening at his school. I asked him if he's seen any people my age at his school. He said no. :feelsbadman:

So what is my lot in life, if not partying with wild sorority sisters at Georgia Southern? Right now I'm participating in one of my regular Saturday night copes. There's this YouTube "radio" prank phone call I listen to every week called "Pran Funkels." I'm listening to that right now.


Pepperoni Hot Pockets and Monster are my dinner tonight. I got it from my local convenience store, run by an extensive family. And one of the old patriarchs of this family, he sidles up behind me and grabs me in a hug, like I'm part of the family. So this is my life. Junk food, the prank phone call community, and being on a first name basis with the convenience store across the street. And I am... I wouldn't say "happy," but "content?" Should I not be doing this? Maybe if I was spending Saturday night elsewhere. But as it's been asked before, how much better can I eat? I'm too old to "be the Illusionist." The most I can hope for is an Earth Mage. And is that really better than nothing? Because right now Hot Pockets and prank phone calls seems good enough for the price I pay for it. Maybe "Monk Mode" should be called "Slacker Mode." I'm not getting laid, but for my options I can't really be bothered.
 
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FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"The Best Possible Old Person I Can Be" or "Where Did Di and Jacie Go?"

TL;DR: I overslept thanks to staying up late and a sex dream I had. Nephew's whereabouts are unknown. I'm late for buying groceries and the store might be out of what I wanna get. Maybe I should take better care of my body so I don't oversleep. Speaking of people who take care of their bodies, Queen Elizabeth II is not dead. Have you heard these conspiracy theories about the people who've tried to fuck with her? Maybe being old isn't so bad. But is it as good as being young? How great is the life of the best old person? SNL doesn't paint a pretty picture of it. But maybe I would enjoy it?





I overslept!!! I blame Pran Funkels, it usually runs long. I was having a wonderful nightmare. A sex nightmare. I call it a nightmare because it was sex with two women who I hate. I was in some kind of mansion or cabin or resort when it happened. And when it was over, I was watching TV. And a commercial for something called "Ascension Money... something... Lodges" came on. So I guess that's where I was. I must've been at some super classy brothel. Was it a glimpse into the future? :feelsthink:

My nephew and his friends are gone, and haven't told me where they are. I'm supposed to go to the store and stock up on groceries while I have the early morning. But I don't have the early morning, I have the late afternoon. And they probably won't have my stuff. I guess one benefit of hitting the gym would be that I wouldn't be so feeble and I would wake up on time. But then again, I often hear the opposite. That the more muscular need a lot more food, and more solid a sleep schedule, or they'll start aching.

Speaking of old people waking up in the morning, you know who else woke up this morning? Queen Elizabeth II. There was a somewhat grim meme going around saying that she would die on January 5th of this year. It caught some traction. The meme was taken down, and the guy who made it deleted their Reddit account. Here's the Out Of The Loop.


The user was u/beefy_cabbage. And like u/RealSmitty2 said, a subreddit has been made in response to his enigmatic person. Here's the original meme.


I post this warily, because like I said this Beefy Cabbage guy mysteriously disappeared after posting the meme. And history seems to suggest you do not fuck with the Queen of England. I'm just a lowly Yank, low on the totem pole, but I'm still hesitant to remind you all about the conspiracy theory that Princess Diana knew that she would be put down in a car crash. Princess Diana was known to buck the norms that Queen Elizabeth maybe wanted to uphold. And then there's Jacintha Saldanha. Once upon a time when she was carrying Future Prince George, Duchess Kate was admitted to King Edward VII Hospital for morning sickness. And this Australian radio/prank phone call show decided to have some fun with this. Mel Greig and Mike Christian of the "2DAY FM Hot30 Countdown" decided to call the hospital with goofy accents, imitating Queen Elizabeth and heir apparent Prince Charles. And somehow it worked. So much for hospital security. They reached Jacintha Saldanha, who transferred them to Kate's attending nurse. They then spent about 2 minutes talking with Kate's nurse, farming them for details.

As far as I know, nothing happened to Kate's nurse, who apparently was also fooled. But Saldanha was found dead in the hospital 5 days later. Found hung, with injuries to the wrist. Suicide by incredible embarrassment and failure to serve the Crown? But the hospital didn't blame Saldanha. Or any of the nurses. They blamed the Australian radio station. Could it be that she, like Di ALLEGEDLY was, put down by some secret dark hand of the Royal Family, dating back to the days of Jack the Ripper??? You might be thinking "Well mental illness can compel the mind to do terrible things." And that's true. But here's what's suspicious. When asked, Saldanha's family insisted that Saldanha never showed any signs of mental illness or suicidal compulsion. But later, news sources said that this actually hadn't been Saldanha's first suicide scare, she had tried it twice before and was on antidepressants.

That's weird, isn't it? That the family should say "No, absolutely not, she was fine" but the "news sources" should say "No, she actually attempted suicide twice before?" That's the exact opposite of what the family said, and somehow everyone's buying it! Where did the "news sources" get their story when the family themselves said otherwise?

And now u/beefy_cabbage is the latest to vanish who thought a harmless gag would be funny. Maybe being old doesn't mean you're entirely powerless.

Terrible lizard monster that she might be, I hope Lizzie doesn't die this year, or next year. I want her to be around for the 2020 Olympics. But it looks like she might just never die. Whatever they're feeding that woman, she needs to share the wealth.

So, is it worth being Queen if you never got to be a Princess? That's the predicament I'm faced with. It's too late for me to be young and benefit from that. So the best I can hope for is to be the best and most powerful old man I can. And is that worth it? There's this SNL sketch that people seem to like, it paints a picture of the best outcome I can probably hope for as an older gentleman.


I'm not in my mid-50s yet, but what's the difference? This guy looks strong, but I don't wanna be the creepy old guy at work. Or even the non-creepy old guy at work. I don't wanna be the old guy. But that's not on the table anymore. What I want is irrelevant. The best turd I can polish, that's what's at hand. Maybe if I try imagining myself as this guy on my way to the store, put my head in his head, see how it feels.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Year of the Daddy" or "The Threefold Path of LDAR"

TL;DR: I left the stove on and now my stove won't light up. My world is barely holding together. I'm constantly being reminded now of my old age, like in this thread. I saw a mother at the store with her kids and it made me think about my life if I got together with a single mother. I swiped through Tinder and it made me think about my life if I consigned to being a sugar daddy, or some brat's wisdom pet. But I can't be a sugar daddy or stepdaddy and pull it off well because I'm too short anyway. But I have to either try, or LDAR. And is it really that easy a choice to make? Is improving my life worth the cost? Is it better to be a stepfather or a sugar daddy than a lonely oldcel? One thing I can improve is not letting my stove burn itself down.



Boy, I really need to get a handle on things. I was too late to get all of my groceries, but not only that? I left the stove on. It's an electric stove. And because I left it on, now it won't heat up like it used to. I think it's broken. What am I gonna eat in the morning?

Before I left to go shopping, I noticed that I'm mentioned in this thread about oldcels. Christ. See, this is what I was talking about with my other thread. It's a very different game for people in my bracket. I don't wanna wag a bony finger at people younger than me, but maybe it's even an inconceivably different game. It's an entirely different sport trying to looksmax at 19 vs. trying to looksmax at my age, after just drifting through life alone and mostly friendless. Where you're going to ascend? I can't go to ascend. I can't ascend with the kinds of people in the kinds of communities you go to. With the methods you use. You guys are fucking friends from school. I don't even have friends from work, and you can't fuck friends from work because that's an HR violation! Watch the Beta Force video!!! :feelsree::woke::feelsree::woke::feelsree::woke::feelsree::woke:

It really grounded me in my thoughts about my present and future as a man of a certain age. And while I was in line, there was a lady ahead of me with four kids. Two girls and two boys. Now I could be a big bitch about how everyone but the oldest girl was causing Mom grief, and the baby boy was such a handful that Mom had to go and grab a Reese's from the Impulse Buys and open it on the spot to placate him. She paid for it later. But that's not the point. Whether those kids were angles or devils, looking at that I think "I don't want that. But that right there? There's my options as a man as old as I am. Single mom. And you gotta love her kids. And if you don't? You're in a relationship with some weird lady who's trying to be Mom by day but pick up some dick on the side. And that's gonna stick with you. How the two halves of her are so opposed." Now I'm in no position to judge the mom. It's not like I'm fine and stable. But how do you convince yourself to love some random kids? "Love" is a pretty strong word. Maybe the strongest word. If you can just love random kids you've never met before, if you can just commit to that no problem, you can love anyone, can't you? If I can love kids I've never met before as if they're my own, what's stopping me from loving... I dunno... the fine people of Looksmax.org? And I suppose I'm pretty fond of you guys, but do I love you like I would love a son or daughter? Some people might answer that with "Okay, so how does a mother or father love a baby that they DID produce? That's a person they just met, the only difference is that they made it, and spent 9+ months acquainting themselves the the notion of this future kid or kids they would have." Is the difference that you can only love a baby you made with your own eggs and seeds? I wouldn't say that, plenty of adopted kids and stepkids are truly loved. But how does it happen? A baby that is the seed of our loins, that's just common sense that you love it. I can't get into why, I don't know why. And I don't know how I could bring myself to love someone else's kids, but not some other stranger I just met. Is it just a choice you make? Can love just be turned on and off? Committed to and quitted from?

On my way to, and during shopping, I also Incelfished on Tinder. Amazingly there's a good number of people here who've never set foot in Incels.is. So lemme explain. LDARGoblin of Incels.is asked us to contribute to a character he would draw.

https://incels.is/threads/lets-create-a-character.93403/

We all made suggestions, and it added up to this guy.

https://incels.is/threads/anselm-the-incel.93994/

A character created by users
Anselm is a virgin mercenary from Bhubaneshwar :feelstastyman:
Now, I have a Tinder account that I've been using for "Chadfishing." But this picture was so cool that I asked LDARGoblin if I could use it for fishing. Except Anselm isn't Chad, he's an incel. And LDARGoblin said yes. And that's the way it's been. I put him at 45 years of age like I am, and I got to swiping. Surprisingly, I've been getting some matches. But the women who aren't around my age, the really young ones? They're all looking for sugar daddies, or someone to buy nudes from, or foot pictures from. The humanity. Pickin' on an old man like me when all I want is to feel the touch of a woman. The aggressively affectionate cuddles of my sex nightmare are still fresh in my imagination.

But that's my other option. If I'm not gonna get with a single mom my age, I have to be the sugar daddy/findom victim of someone younger. Because Tinder is full of that kind of thing. People looking to take advantage of men and their money and their dicks. Real women, but also bots. You've seen the copypasta. "Heya! I'm on snappy more you can find me on boobsticks (or RPGBoobs, or milkpussy, or milkboobs, or boobsgamer, there's a million of them) (one word). I love gaming, 420, sports, and kink! Def have a thing for older men :)" Like I'm gonna fall for that. I'm almost desperate enough to though? The pictures look nice enough, and somehow Liking them makes me feel good. I'm... just so far gone, aren't I? :feelscry:

I don't wanna be "Daddy." Even if some kid somewhere is fool enough to genuinely "have a thing for older men," I don't wanna be whatever it is she likes about older men that younger men don't have. Is it my wisdom? Fuck wisdom. I'm not wise and I don't wanna be wise. I wanna be fun. I don't wanna be safe, I don't wanna be an old soul. I wanna be the opposite of these things until the day I get killed in a WorldStarHipHop fight. But whether's it's sugar daddy or step daddy, at my age my only options seems to be "Daddy." Did you hear this talk that 2018 was allegedly the "Year of the Daddy?" What they mean by that is, there was a lot of celebration of your usual handsome man, but with a touch of grey. Aged sophistication. That just goes to show how perspectives can differ. Because I don't know what the hell they're talking about, "Year of the Daddy." I haven't seen that many "daddies." But someone must've, otherwise they wouldn't have written about it. They cite examples like Jude Law getting more work. And The Rock playing against type as a more fallible action hero in "Skyscraper." But I'm like, surely you've gotta have more examples than Jude Law and The Rock for this to have been "Year of the Daddy." But maybe I'm wrong, and "daddies" are in vogue. There was also that recent SNL sketch, they typically try to be on top of new trends. But when I saw this, I was like "Daddies aren't a 'thing' right now, are they? The writers have gotta be wrong on this one."


But maybe I'm the one who's wrong. Should I lean into it? Well, supposin' we are headed into a "Daddy Market." I think there's one thing that counts against me: I'm not just old. I'm short. At a treetop tall 5 foot 5. In shoes, by the way. According to the height chart by the door at my local Wawa. And y'know, sometimes height just doesn't seem like anything. 5 foot 5. That's a mere 7 inches away from 6 feet. I roll it out on measuring tape and it seems so inconsequential. 6 feet is respectable, and when I look at where I stand from 6 feet it doesn't seem that far off? But I will never forget how Taylor Lautner got manlet clowned by those two fangirls who visited him. That's probably why he quit the werewolf physique. He realized his height was counteracting it. Everyone's the height they're supposed to be in the movies, but sadly we cannot live in the movies, and our fangirls cannot visit our movies and have sex with us in our movies. Now I don't wanna victim dick measure with Taylor Lautner, but lemme just say, if I was short and young enough, at the very least I could boymaxx and take advantage of my short stature, which should be a curse but maybe in the right game it's an advantage. But I'm too old for that. My skin too weather beaten. I cannot be a boy anymore. Can't pass for college aged. And people here say "You gotta get those surgeries, man!!! Skin treatment ain't nothin' new!" And believe me, I've been following the anti-aging industry and developments for some time now. I do hold out hope for something that can save me. But in 2019? I do not believe there's enough Botox and electrolysis in the world right now to turn a 40-something year old man into a 20-something year old man. There are limits to what we can do right now. Skinwise I can only be a dad. Or an uncle. But I'm not pulling it off very well because of my height. So even if I wanted to be "Daddy," how can I do it? And don't say leg lengthening. The absolute state of the art would give me 5 inches max. To look like a fuckin' Carnaval stilt dancer. No offense to Carnaval stilt dancers. And I hear it can hurt. Several thousand dollars to look like a mutant and raise some kids I just met or give my money away because "Well I give him my attention and affection, I think that's a fair trade for a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, I don't see why sex has to be involved..."

All this talk about things not being worth it. The universe doesn't care if the price is fair, the universe doesn't have to bargain. So it's either this, or LDAR. "Lie Down and Rot." Here's the thing though. Should I not LDAR? Really? Because maybe I don't see it as "rotting." Maybe LDAR means "Lie Down and Relax" to me. But whatever it is, it's "lying down" instead of having new ambitions. So what reasons are there to not have ambitions? I think there are three.

  1. You're depressed. :feelscry:
  2. You're lazy. :feelstastyman:
  3. You're content with what you have. :feelsyay:
So where do I fit in on this list? I'm seriously questioning this. I used to say I wasn't depressed, but this journal has given me a chance to look back on thoughts I might've forgotten I had. Okay, so, am I depressed? Let's first ask, am I happy? Hmmm. Life could be better. I have some concerns. I'm not living my dream life, that's for sure. In fact? No, I'm not happy. There, I said it. I refuse to accept this life as an acceptable substitute for what I really wanted to be. I'm allowed to be sad about the state of my life. But then, sometimes I feel like I'm not "depressed." Not in the classical sense. Because Looksmax.org will say "Go get those surgeries!" And I'll feel like "Why? Whatever the surgeries will bring me, it's no better than what I have. In fact, I think I prefer what I have." So does that make me content? Because unless I think about it, dwell on it, I kinda just drift, mostly coping with life, not too bothered. My life isn't where it should be, but I don't think about it enough for it to bother me. Or at least I didn't before I started this journal. So... does that make me lazy? I'm putting off fixing my life even though I know I should. My life is not something I should accept, but I'm not fixing it. That sounds lazy. But then, any repairs I could do to my life won't make me happy. So am I depressed? One thing I do know, I don't think I should call myself "content." I'm just not bothered by all that's wrong with my life right now. I should be bothered. The only reason I'm not bothered is because I don't think about it. But then... if it doesn't hang over my head, should I worry about it?

Let's start small. One thing I can improve is not letting my stove burn itself down. It's not really "looksmaxing," but it is self improvement. That's one thing that will make my life better and me happier. If I have a stove that works.
 
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FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
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Messages
631
"It's Called 'Lifemaxxing'" or "Too Late? Hot Plate!"

TL;DR: I learn what "lifemaxxing" is while figuring out how I'm gonna cook my food now that my stove is broken.

I didn't get any sleep, I was busy researching how to replace the heating elements in my stove, and where to get the parts. And I could do that, but... I could also just buy an inexpensive hot plate or two. This is a lot like the central question of my life, that I was debating in the last post. "Is this an ambition I need to pursue? Or am I too depressed or lazy to pursue this thing that I need?" I guess the question is, do I need a WHOLE stove, or will the hot plate do? I know how I presently feel about it, but if anyone knows more about lifemaxxing, maybe they can tell me how they feel about stoves? Way I see it now, it'd be like decorating my place with paintings or plants. I feel no desire to do it. But maybe there's some perspective I missed that tell me I do need a whole stove, and paintings, and plants?

This kind of self-improvement, self-improvement not for the sake of getting laid or finding someone, but just to be better in general, I just now learned is called "lifemaxxing." I learned it from this thread. I should try it, if for no other reason than to save my future hot plate or stove. I'm headed out now, to work, and to something that'll cook my food.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
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Messages
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"Fight For Your Right For Your Party So You Can Cry If You Want To" or "Campaign For Real Beauty"

TL;DR: Late post because I fell asleep in the middle of a Youtube comment discussion about whether or not incels are trying hard enough to change their lot in life. I say incels are working way harder than normies, ugly normies get more compassion for less work while incels gotta go get surgeries and they're still considered entitled.




Fell asleep as soon as I got home, a good hot plate is hard to find and I was out late. Well, almost as soon as I got home. I'm currently locked in heated YouTube comment debate over the whole incel thing. As soon as I read their comment and gave my rebuttal, I was out like my broken heating coils.

It was the usual incel fight. "Follow these looksmaxing recommendations and you will definitely get laid. You're not at a disadvantage, you're not getting laid because you're not trying to get laid." I take exception to allegations like that. Allegations like "You hate women just because of one rejection." No, incels hate women because of many years of rejection and loneliness. It wasn't something they learned from other incels either. You only reach this kind of dark place through a personal journey. Because you yourself are in pain, not because of any theories you were taught. And so that seems to be the thing incels, like myself, are trying to prove. That several have tried. And failed. They followed all of your advice. No they didn't quit after 6 months of bulking. No they didn't quit after one rejection. But for the people in the comments section the only way to shut them up is to actually take them up on their advice, and when it fails ask them "Okay, so what now?" Or rather, "How long should I keep at this until I can fairly claim that I actually AM at a disadvantage?" When do I have the right to say that lookism exists? Because they'll probably just say "Keep trying, you're not at a disadvantage, lookism isn't a thing." But notice how it's only incels who don't get to cry "lookism." Everyone else does, there are whole articles about how shallow and biased society is and it's a science when those article writers make the claims, but when we parrot those same claims, we're told that no one actually cares about looks like that. These are the double standards incels are fighting.

I don't know how familiar people are with the prevailing incel gripe, or how familiar I am with the prevailing incel gripe, but based on what other incels tell me, it's like this: You know how Dove, as well as people in general, are saying "Don't be mean to fat chicks and old chicks and so on?" With their Campaign For Real Beauty to challenge the "hot-normative" standards of society and to promote body positivity? For women? Body positivity and fat pride and all that stuff, it's really in right now. But why is no one sticking up for nature's ugliest creature, the incel? Women are always talking about how they feel ugly. Women are always talking about their relationship troubles. How men are shallow pieces of shit. And what does society do? Understand their pain. Agree with them that society is shallow. And represent them in the larger social justice battle. And all incels really want, and TRULY NEED as far as I can tell, is for that same representation for ugly men like themselves.

Next time you see some kind of social justice effort for someone, ask yourself "Does the other side get the same representation?" I've been doing this ever since I was a boy and my sisters wanted to wear my clothes but I didn't think it was fair that they got to wear boy clothes AND girl clothes but I didn't get to wear girl clothes. Not that I wanted to wear girl clothes, I just didn't think it was fair that they got to borrow from both wardrobes. They can wear pants, just not my pants. Those are boy pants. That's how I saw it. But anyway, thanks to movements like the kind Dove is making, women get all kinds of representation and positive affirmation that men, specifically incels, don't get. Woman feels ugly. Gets angry at society. She gets a commercial that tells society to change. Incel feels ugly. Gets angry at society. He's told he's being "entitled" and if he wants to look good he better hit the gym and just because he's not Dan Bilzerian doesn't give him any right to complain, he better accept whatever he can get otherwise he's just looking for a reason to bitch.

Incels never asked to be Dan Bilzerian. Incels just wanna be normal. Held to the same normal standards that normal ugly people are held to. The same compassion, the same positive affirmation. The same soap commercials. If "real women" have curves and wrinkles, "real men" have male pattern baldness and are under 6 feet and small dicks. And curves and wrinkles. But when was the last time anyone shamed women for holding men to unfair handsomeness standards? For normies, particularly normie women, the thinking is "Lookism exists, and we'll fight it." For incels, the thinking is "Lookism isn't real, the only reason you haven't gotten laid is because you're not trying/deliberately repelling women with your bad personality." And so with every YouTube comment battle or Twitter battle or Reddit battle or where ever the battles are, I have to wonder, what will it take to get the same understanding that the normies get? And the same right to grieve as the normies get? What will it take to be held to the same standard as the normie? Is it that incels don't work as hard as normies? No, because for the incel, lookism doesn't exist because they didn't try taking up rocking climbing in Nevada or some such hobby. But for the normie, one bad high school upbringing is enough for them to be able to say that society can be cruel.

I could try looksmaxing, but my main priority right now is proving this double standard. That lookism exists only for non-incels.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
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Messages
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"A North Star For My Compass" or "The Lean of Winter"

TL;DR:
It's getting colder all of a sudden. On the way to work I met a woman who thought I might mug her, and a Jehovah's Witness. You should be nice to Witnesses and other religious people who treat you kindly. I've come to realize that a hot plate on its own won't suffice. I want a whole functioning stove and oven. Especially if it's in a warm and charming 70s era aesthetic. But it'll cost some serious money. New hires continue to pour in at work, might be making a new friend but I ned a World of Warcraft compatible computer and I don't have that right now. Finally finished Daredevil Season 3 because I've got nothing better to do at work. Ray Nadeem deserved better. I'm not entirely sure if Jack Murdock was an old looking teenager, or a grown man having sex with a young woman. Like the newly unfettered Jeff Bezos. Bullseye was a highlight of the season. It's too bad the show is cancelled, now we'll never see their stories continue. NOw we wait for Punisher. I've been thinking about that picture of the dude with the two whipped cream/shaving cream girls again. I really need to find that picture but I don't know where I would even begin. My nephew and his friends decided to share their porn with me before they went back to campus, but it's not my style at all. Whipped shaving cream girls are my style. So if you know where to find that image, if it sounds familiar to you, get in touch with me.





Snow, and lots of it, folks. That's what Chevy Chase said in Snow Day. It's headed my way just as I was complaining about how lax winter has been so far. Lots of bitter wind on the way to work yesterday, I know this now as the prelude to snow. That's how snow happens these days. Instead of a regular snowy season, we have long stretches of warmth, and then the odd arctic cold front brings cold. And if there's enough humidity, that means snow. Enough snow for me to stay where I am? Because if I'm counting freak cold fronts, they get heavy snow as far south as Mississippi.

When the winds get biting, I think people on the street are more on edge. I'm not though, because the way I see it is, if it's blisteringly cold outside, it's too cold to get jumped or mugged. The warm weather, that's when I always got mugged. The muggers don't wanna hang around outside in that wind waiting for marks. But maybe I'm wrong, because I think other people disagree with me. On my way to work I happened upon a woman also headed somewhere. We were headed in different directions, me north and her south. And when she saw me approaching she went back the other way very conspicuously. She was clearly running from me. But I kept going north. When I get to where I last saw her, I look around to see where she went. She comes out of hiding and says "You scared me!" And my words say "Oh, I'm sorry!" and we both go our intended ways. But my mind was like "You're bigger than me!!!" I won't say she stood a whole head taller than me, but she could see from afar that I was definitely much smaller than her. Definitely more than half a head taller than me. Come to think of it, the way she ran off and I couldn't find her, I think maybe she was waiting in hiding to blackjack me or something. So she knew she could've beaten me. My point is, I try to be non-confrontational because I cannot win in a fight. So I make a point to show people "Hey, I'm not a threat, I'm just as afraid as you are."

Speaking of being nice, I also ran into a Jehovah's Witness on the way to work. He was an older gentleman, and he wasn't afraid of me at all, probably because Jehovah was protecting him. He offers me some literature, and I happily accept. I'm not looking to change religions, but the way I see it is this: If you're secular, or non-practicing, or generally just lax about the rules of your religion, but still celebrate Christmas, you should be nice to Jehovah's Witnesses and the like who offer you wisdom or compassion, even if it has religious overtones. Because all that matters is that they mean well. Like if a priest offers you a seat at Mass to ail your troubled mind? Take the seat. Because why not? It's not like it's an affront to your beliefs, and it's not like they're gonna indoctrinate you. You can continue to believe whatever you believe, and also take the kindnesses from people offering them. That's why I don't turn down Witnesses like some people do. I got time to listen to them talk. But that also might be because I have no friends and nothing going on but work.

Tihs cold weather makes me realize, I want a whole stove. Not just a hot plate. When the weather gets cold, I find comfort in being armed against it with as much warmth as possible. Over the past couple of days I've been trying to get to the bottom of fixing my stove. But in order to get my stove fixed, I need to find the model number, probably. I need to know exactly what kind of stove/oven I have so I know where to buy replacement heating elements. And my attempts to learn this have been fruitless. IF the parts are even still for sale anywhere. Cursory research suggests that my oven is pretty old. All I know about it so far is that it says "Magic Chef" and "The Gourmet Collection" on it. If you've heard of a stove like this, let me know if you know what model it is? But I'm hearing that it's an old model from the 60s. Which means they probably don't manufacture this oven or its parts anymore.

And so I start to think "What if I just bought a whole new oven? That can be serviced like any other modern appliance?" I find myself excited by the fantasy/prospect. The "pure potential." All the things I'm gonna bake to fight the cold. But... what oven is "me?" I don't know if I conveyed this clearly enough in this entry, but finding out what things are "me" is something I spend a lot of time overthinking. Who I am, what I like, and so on. What mage type is "me?" What fashion style is "me?" What kitchen aesthetic is "me?" What oven is "me?"

I was big into these kinds of quizzes because I believed that to know thyself was the first step towards living. It really was. For instance, the kinds of clothes I wore. What was my fashion? Shaved head, rolled up sleeves, swoled up biceps? Is that really my "style?" Does it match my personality? What is my personality? And what clothes correspond to it? I had to get all that down on paper first. So I was trying to figure out my inner animal and Hogwarts house and all that. If by some miracle I was beamed into the world of Harry Potter or Pokémon or Dragon Ball Z or whatever, I wanted to know what kind of person I would be. And that was the point (and appeal) of quizzes. To see ourselves in the books and shows we liked.
I'd like everything I do and wear tailored to my style and sense of self. And that's tough to figure out. But last night while trying to figure out what brand of oven I have, I found myself looking up new ovens I could maybe buy. I like my current oven, right? It's an old oven, maybe that's what I like so much about it. And it just so happens I stumbled across Elmira Stove Works and their Northstar line of kitchen appliances.

https://www.elmirastoveworks.com/visualizer/northstar/

It's got a self-described "North American retro-styled" aesthetic. They sell stoves, refrigerators, microwaves, and dishwashers. With that Candy Red set I could probably make my kitchen into one of those old timey Coca-Cola diners. This is close, but I don't think that quite speaks to me like these kitchens here...


70s style in harvest golds, avocado greens, and burnt oranges. They don't make kitchens like these anymore, kitchen science has evolved to the sleek efficiency of white and black and silver. Plus, people tell me gold, green, and orange is ugly. So why am I drawn to it? Maybe I'm stuck in the past. These kinds of kitchens were popular when I was a boy. And maybe I'm so sensitive to the world that I wanna go back to feeling like I did when I was a boy, cradled in the security of my protectors and the food they gave me? Going back to my childhood? I look at kitchens like these and I think of Thanksgivings and Christmases. It's probably not just the warm colors. It's probably the association with my childhood.

Inevitably though I always start to feel like holding onto the past isn't sustainable. Because this kitchen would cost me $17,000+ and that's before shipping and handling. That's a lot of money to throw around.

Speaking of money, my mind continues to slip away at work. It really feels unfair that this filter's been put up. My performance is suffering, I feel betrayed. Do they think my work is gonna improve now that they've done this? Don't they understand the importance of needing to do something to break the assembly line monotony of this job??? Do they understand human limitation??? Do they care??? Boss man is also bringing in more new hires. We're getting this big guy, taller and wider than I am. He talked to me about his World of Warcraft hobbies and asked me if it was maybe something I enjoyed. I have it a look, it's pretty interesting stuff. But I don't have a computer that can reliably run it so at some point I'm gonna have to get one. I think he's gonna let me play with his raiding group. But before you get any ideas, he is not an incel and has no need for looksmaxing. He's been happily engaged for many years now. Speaking of people better off than I am, we're getting a guy who's as short as I am. But a lot younger looking. But maybe that's just a byproduct of being so short. But having all of his hair. Like Seth Green. It's not healthy to compare myself to everyone I see, this is true. But the way I see it, if I'm not worth the sympathy that other self-conscious people get when they compare themselves to other people, who gives a damn? I should be honest with my insecurity.

So, still, just about the only thing worth doing that they'll let me do is Netflix. My boss keeps taking the new hires over to my department to show them an example of the work I do here. I'm the go-to example for some reason. They don't pay me like a "go-to example" should be paid, but here I am. And he had some words for me about watching Netflix. It looks bad to the new hires. Maybe sends the wrong message? I explained that it's mostly just background noise while I work, but that seemed to be a cold comfort. But y'know what was actually much less of a distraction and maybe even looks better to the new hires? The sites I used to be able to visit. Hardly anyone today knows what those site are. Anyway, I just finished Daredevil Season 3. So I guess I'm stuck until Punisher comes back on the 18th. Maybe I'll give this Bird Box thing a go. That's really popular right now for some reason, I don't know why. I don't remember A Quiet Place being this hyped and this is basically A Quiet Place but with sight instead of sound. It's really too bad that they're cancelling all this. Just for the loss of Daredevil. For the third season now Daredevil has flexed on the rest of the Marvel Netflixiverse. I only have the one complaint: Ray Nadeem's arc. Bad stuff happened to him, he was manipulated by Fisk, and he ended up getting killed by Bullseye. Compelling? Obviously. But he got perhaps the RAWEST deal in history. It's one thing for bad things to happen to good people, that happens sometimes. But I'm supposed to buy this logic or rationale or portrayal of Nadeem as a guy who deliberately threw his life away and deserved the dire straits he ended up in? He was manipulated by Kingpin under threat against his family, but his wife, Matt Murdock, they're like "You should've told the truth anyway" or "The FBI shouldn't have made the deal with Fisk in the first place." The FBI had every reason to trust Fisk at the time, and when Nadeem learned that Fisk might be manipulating them, he tried to do the right thing. The only reason he ended up stuck in Fisk's plans was because of honest FBI protocol. He wasn't like "Yeah Fisk is probably up to something but oooooh I want some money." And speaking of money, his sister was dying of cancer and lost her coverage. Thanks to Fisk, by the way. So Nadeem WAS low on money. And he's got a kid to feed but thanks to blowing out his credit to save his sister's life, he's been denied promotions. He had a shot getting a promotion by squeezing details out of Fisk as an informant. And what does Matt say to Nadeem about this? "You shouldn't have done that. If you needed money you should've figured something else out." Figured something else out??? Suck my dick, Murdock. Nadeem did not cut corners, he was honest from debut to demise and I don't give a damn what the show tries to convince me of otherwise. His wife sure seemed to eat her words after he died. A rational adult might understand that the working for the FBI involves complexities that you can't just bring to the dinner table every night but the last thing she said to him before he died was "You lied to me so fuck you." Infuriating to watch because we they audience know that he can't just tell her the truth because that's never how any of these things work. But the show itself seems to wanna say that Nadeem "allowed" all this to happen? Nadeem never shot a single innocent person, and every chance he got he tried to save innocent people. He saved Karen. He was as much a victim as any other pawn of Fisk. And he should've gotten immunity for his testimonial. It's almost preferable that he died instead of going to jail an innocent man. Instead of dignifying that bullshit as if it were a fair trade. If he dies, it's almost like the show is saying "No way is 5 years for being a victim the way he's gonna go out."

As it was in the comics, Sister Maggie is revealed to be Matt's estranged mother. So I guess that makes her "Mother Maggie." But something was up with that flashback. And I dunno if this was a slip with the casting or what, but I just... they flashed back to when Maggie and Matt's father Jack Murdock met at an underground boxing match. And Maggie looks about the age she should look, 18 or so. Like the two nuns-to-be she came in with. But Jack? He looks about as old as the day he died in the ring. Was he meant to be a teenager in that scene? Because... woof... Or are they saying Jack is twice Maggie's age? Because that would also be something. I saw their union, and I saw myself in it. Trying to match with someone much younger than I am. And it didn't look right. So it hurt my heart. Because I want it, want it a lot, but when you put it in front of me I can't deny how it just runs against nature. And while Maggie is being charmed away from the other two nuns-to-be, they're all "Remember chastity, Maggie! Chastity!!!" As if Jack's animal magnetism was just overpowering the whole group. It just didn't work for me. Two rare misses in what's otherwise damn fine programming.

Speaking of old men punching above their weight class, did you hear about Jeff Bezos breaking up with his wife MacKenzie, whose name and existence I'm only just recently learning about?


Get a load of the language though. They're breaking up after a long period of "loving exploration" and "trial separation." This is how it is for people with power. And access to booty. It's why Hollywood relationships are always either ending early or starting late or both. Because once you are able to fuck around, that's what you'd rather do. Jeff Bezos, like Jack Murdock, somehow through what I consider to be unfair means, is pulling tail leagues out of his SMV. A withered and weather beaten dude who's probably bagging teenagers somewhere. Even though he is not equally baggable. Why? Because 140 buh-million dollars. And if you're a sugar baby, you come to terms with the fact that you don't actually have to like sex with someone to have sex with someone. Drug addicts do it all the time. It's like eating a vegetable you don't like. You power through it. "Not fun" doesn't mean "impossible," especially if there's money and/or treats in it for you. But Jack Murdock... I don't know what he had to offer. What I really liked was this season's "main villain." I mean, Fisk is probably the "main villain" but this season had Bullseye. Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter. This guy is/was mentalcel'd like a motherfucker for one Julie Barnes. See, Dex was a troubled kid, and remains a troubled man. He killed small animals and all that jazz. But before his first therapist died of cancer, she told him "Your internal compass isn't broken, Dex. It just works better with a North Star to guide you." A North Star being someone to carry him when the mental times get rough. And for a while he wandered without a North Star. And then he met Julie Barnes at a suicide prevention hotline. Julie Barnes is basically his oneitis. He's filled with mad longing to see that pale, freckled pussy turn red with orgasmic flush. One of the natural wonders of ginger pussy, it's like a magic trick. And from what Twitter tells me, Dex is not a bad looking man. But he's mentalcel'd. Things are wrong in his mind that keep him from having a normal relationship with her. So he stalks her, right? But saint that Julie is, she understands that Dex is troubled and is willing to stand by him anyway. I bet he was "really hard" when they went on that coffee date together. Now, he says to her that he's not into her sexually, yes. But you also have to understand that Dex is mentally unstable. He doesn't really know what he wants. There are compulsions working under the surface he can't understand, let alone control. He's bleating like a goat and doesn't understand why. He wants her, he just doesn't understand that he wants her. His "internal compass" was pointing towards his "North Star" during that scene.

Speaking of a North Star to guide someone, recently I've found myself thinking about that picture of the dude with the two girls.

There's another picture that was really good, but not only do I not know where it came from, I don't even have the picture anymore. It was this guy in a college shirt, flanked by two naked girls covered in some kind of whipped cream. It was a text meme saying something to the effect of "This is what your parents would want you to waste their money on." Har har, sarcasm. I do believe it was a red shirt. But that picture, wow, I was like "This is the kind of life I wanted to live in college." And the events depicted in these pictures? We know for sure that they happened. So if it can happen to people, why can't it happen to me? How do I get it to happen to me? Make friends with naked creamy girls I see on campus?
Come to think of it, it probably wasn't whipped cream. It was probably shaving cream. But I've recently relapsed into an obsession with that picture. The pictures that I seek out, I need them because I have to know the stories behind them. If that wasn't the set of a porn shot, I need to know how the events that resulted in that picture came to be. That picture, I think, might be True North for me. Because there's been other pictures I've seen, like the one with the people pouring drinks on the chick's ass. But this picture? With the shaving cream wrestlers? I have to know how that happened. Was it an event at a bar??? I need to know how that specific thing happened in the hopes that maybe... maybe... I can have that happen for me too. So in addition to trying to find oven parts, I've also been spending time on the fool's errand of trying to find that picture. It has to be somewhere. I'm so pissed at myself that I didn't save it. I save everything. And I didn't save this??? :feelsohgod:

Speaking of sexualized imagery, my nephew and his friends showed me some of their porn. First of all, I can't believe I agreed to look at it. That's gotta be some kind of inappropriate. But this imagery, I think, is my nephew's North Star. It was 2D. Which was telling on its own, that my nephew and his gang would be into 2D when they could be having 3D. But also, this stuff... it was the kind of literally unthinkable materials that I shudder to recount here. I don't like to think about it. Makes me wonder if maybe it wasn't a joke to creep me out. He's headed back to campus at some point this weekend so maybe they're getting their last laughs in? On the kooky wizard who lives in the shambled old inn? If it wasn't for the fact that I, right now, am still obsessed with that whipped shaving cream meme, those other images would be haunting me. If anybody has seen this picture somewhere and knows where to find it? Please get in touch with me.
 
IceCutter

IceCutter

Arcanologist
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,673
 
Psychonaut

Psychonaut

? Renaissance Toast lol
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
8,376
Nigga did you really expect me

To read all that shit

By you
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Men of a Certain Age, Wage, & Weight" or "I Just Want to Celebrate"

TL;DR: I planned on buying some Viagra to see what my dick at full power looks like, but it turns out getting boner pills is actually a lot harder than getting birth control, despite what "Pay For My Birth Control With Your Taxes" lobbyists would have you believe. So I'm sad about not getting to measure my dick, but if measuring my dick is the highlight of my weekend, I have to wonder if maybe my life is lacking some substance. I have to wonder what a "normal life" is made of, and where my life is lacking in those parts. I almost got to learn what a normal life is like by having a recorded example of a day in the life of a normal person. But the deal fell through. Anselm the Incelfish matched with two new women recently, though they might just be looking for a sugar daddy like most young women who like old men. There's also a new hire at my job who happens to be Asian. And what incel circles tell me is that Asian women love old white men. But I can't buy that. Speaking of old men, I've come to the conclusion that the first and clearest signature of an old man is a grey beard. Not grey head hair, a grey beard. It's a death sentence, and that's why the body positivity people should celebrate old men like they celebrate fat women. And I don't think they do. I think there's a difference. And I hope to someday close that difference and see old men and short men and dicklet men held up to the same heights as fat, ugly women.



Not for another 6 years. So get ready now!

Speaking of plans, there go mine for the weekend. It was gonna be a weekend of discovery. I was gonna measure my dick. See, I've measured my dick before, but my erections have never been erections I was truly proud of. And so I was wondering "Do I have such small measurements because my dick isn't at full mast?" Granted there's not many more millimeters I could get out of it, but I would be thankful for whatever I can get. And so this weekend I thought I would have fun by figuring out my true dick size. By achieving my peak erection. And how do you achieve peak erection? With boner pills. Right?

Well, turns out I was mistaken about boner pills. Your Viagra, your Cialis, your Levitra. I thought you could just walk into the drug store and buy them as easily as you buy beer. But it turns out you need a prescription to buy it? You have to actually be diagnosed with observable and detectable erectile dysfunction? It's not just fun pills you can take for fun??? I'm actually kinda pissed. Because remember a few years back there was that birth control debate? And the birth control people were like "It's not fair to keep birth control from women when it's so easy for men to get dick pills! You can just walk into Rite-Aid and get dick pills!!!" And I was like "Gee, they've got a point. It shouldn't be that easy for men to get dick pills." But now I see it was whiny bullshit. In order to get Viagra, you need to have a disease. You have to actually need it. So it's not comparable to birth control because recreational sex isn't a need. You can't get diagnosed with a healthy uterus as a "disease" or a "disorder." The only defense it had was "Men can get boner pills with the Mike & Ike's." And that's a lie. So that might be contributing to why I'm so pissed about this. My dick is immeasurable and my weekend is ruined.

But my nephew and his friends are gone, I've got the house to myself, and Pran Funkels is live.


Yet, all this thought about my weekend plans makes me wonder, is this the kind of life I should be living? I mean, I don't plan on not listening to Pran Funkels every week any time soon, but if measuring my dick is the highlight of the weekend, I have to wonder if that's normal. What am I gonna do with my life in 10 years? 20 years? 40 years if I'm lucky? If my life isn't sustainable or healthy, it can't continue like this. I often wonder how normal people's normal lives go. How normal people do things. So I ask retarded sounding questions like "How do you make friends?" And other seemingly basic human competencies. That's how stunted I am. I often ponder on how stunted and abnormal my life is and how I got here. It recently dawned on me, I claim to have had friends, but I've never had anyone come over my house. And I've only ever been over a friend's house once. My parents were super shy about letting people into our house. Even family members. The house could never be too clean. And I always argued with them about it. "Mom! Dad! No one's house is catalogue spotless! Why can't I invite the neighbor kids over??? I bet their houses look worse than ours!" But they didn't care. We weren't the neighbor kids. If they wanted to live like pigs, they could. But we would not be pigs. Or if we were pigs, we wouldn't let anyone know. Even something as basic as talking to people feels unnatural. I mean, I talk to people all the time, I'm not "afraid" of people and I wouldn't call myself "anxious" around people. But I often don't know where to "start" with people, and when I do get started, I feel like I'm winging it. Ad libbing to keep the conversation rolling. And I don't know when to stop. I wish I could watch normal people do the things I wanna do. I wish I could watch a normal person live their life. I wish I could watch a normal person navigate a night club. I wish I could watch a normal person go from freshman to writing his name in jizz on a stranger's ass in the coat room of a college party.

I almost got a chance to kinda do this. I tried to find the thread, but I can't. And the person I asked has deleted their account, but on Reddit I said I was interested in looking at a day in the life of a normal, well-adjusted person with friends and a family and so on. How many people should a normal person have in their life? How many people should a normal person talk to in a day? How many things should a normal person do in a day? I put up money to have this done. And someone offered to do it. Carry around an audio recorder so I could listen to their day. But eventually we had to cancel the deal because he would be around people who would not consent to being discreetly recorded. But I was very close. And it's still something I'd like to do.

Some people suggest watching life streamers. And that's nice, but it doesn't square with the OTHER suggestion that "Tinder/Instagram/etc. isn't real life." If anything's not real life, it's YouTube streamers. I refuse to believe that a normal person's life is so interesting that every day is a distinct episode with story beats and subjects of focus. That you could make a regular vlog out of it. So don't lump me in with the people wishing they were Instagram ass models, or wishing to live her life. I know between every picture from the streets of Paris and every picture with a pike caught barehanded in the frozen lakes of the North there's probably a long stretch of mundane. I'm not saying there isn't. I just wanna know how much mundane is "normal." I need to know the difference between a mundane life and a dead-end life.

School was so much simpler. Because just about everything was decided for you. And just about every day was different. This is why life seems to speed by when you're older vs. when you're younger. A school year seems to be a lifetime. But a work year, a month is only 4 paychecks. 2 if you get paid bi-weekly. Doesn't seem that long when you think about it like that. But a school year is filled with new things each day, because that's what a good curriculum entails. A work year can be the same thing every day for insane stretches of time, until everything blends together. I don't know what "normal" is, but I think the secret to "full" is that I need to do new things as often as possible.

By the way, did anyone notice that the Alpha Omicron Pi video is gone now? Suspicious that it should be taken down shortly after I reposted it here. :feelswhere:

Speaking of Tinder, I still spend a lot of time on it because it's the only way I know how to "meet" people. You can't walk up to someone on the street and start talking to people, but on Tinder people are looking to talk to one another. So I have that opening. Anselm's latest matches...


The one on the left is a "Born again follower of Jesus." So she doesn't sound like the kind of fun I'm looking for. The one on the right told me a tale of unending hardship. She has lupus, she lost two kids to miscarriage because of lupus complications, her ex-friend fucked her ex-fiance, her dad drinks, her mom's grabbin' peelz, and neither of them are there for her, she's out of work until February because her doctor told her not to work until her next checkup, and because of the government shutdown she can't get SSI. She's got an overdue electric bill, she needs money for food, and she has no winter clothing. And because of her lupus she has very strict temperature requirements. And she's only 21, by the way. I offered to give her some money because I am a cuck. Wait, first I reverse searched her to see if maybe this was a catfish or a scam, but all of her pictures look real. And then I offered the money. But she wouldn't accept it because she has social anxiety and doesn't want to see me. But then, she can't see me, because that would destroy the premise of my Incelfishing. She would see it was all an Incelfish. I'm waiting on the both of them to tell me about their lives so I know what a normal day to day is for a normal person. But the lady on the right, her life doesn't sound like the kind to strive for.

Looking at Tinder pictures here, I passed by one of a group of friends in a bar. And they all looked young. But then I saw one of the guys had some facial hair. And it was white/grey. And suddenly the whole group looked old. That's really the death sentence, isn't it? A grey beard? Moreso than grey head hair. That's why men in the media, men of a certain age, they'll sometimes have grey or white hair, but they won't wear beards. Unless your job is to look old and distinguished like Wolf Blitzer. That's why certain men try out growing their beards. Because they know it's not really "done," wearing your natural age on your face but they wanna make a statement about it. They wanna buck the trend. Stephen Colbert tried it. Then he cut that shit out immediately because everyone hated it. The unrealistic handsomeness standards are real, gentlemen. Now Steve Harvey is trying it. And he looks like a dead man. So if you wanna look young? Shave your face. Don't try and dye/color it, because people can tell. Just like in that Beta Force sketch.

Speaking of being old, on Friday a new hire came in for an interview/tour. An Asian woman who is, amazingly, even smaller than I am. As usual she was brought to my station. I found myself admiring her. And I thought about that meme. About how South East Asia is apparently the sure thing for old white incels. And I thought "She's Asian, I'm old and white, why don't I take a whack at it?" And I answered that thought with "Because the logic behind it doesn't make sense. Why are Asian women into old white men? You need a better answer than 'Just because' or 'Because r/Incels said so.' There are plenty of better men she could pick from, if she hasn't already picked." But she's the only woman in my whole office, if not the entire building, that wouldn't stand at least half a head taller than I am. Can anyone explain where this thinking came from, that South East Asians love old white men? Or is it just old white men that happen to live in South East Asia? Is it more to do with the region? That they don't have access to young white men? Because I can think of zero, ZERO reason to prefer an old man over a young man. Unless you're looking for a sugar daddy. Which quite a few people are. At least on Tinder. But this new hire probably doesn't need a sugar daddy if she's gonna be having a job soon.

I talk shit about older gentlemen with the courage to be their own age, but what they do is good. Untouchable as far as ever having sex again, but that's not the point. If there's this big body positivity movement for women and their insecurities, there should be one for men. If I have any complaint about men going greystache it's that it creates this illusion that people care about men's issues as much as women's issues. If I feel like I and men like me aren't being spoken for, people will just point to Steve Harvey and be like "There ya go, he's fighting for you. So shut up, you're not a victim. Not like fat women are victims!!!" But it's as simple as this: Can I point to what the ladies are getting and find the male equivalent? I still say no. I still say there's a stark difference in the quality AND quantity of stumping and soapboxing women get versus men. There ain't room to swing my tiny, insignificant penis without hitting a "Celebrating Plus Size Bodies" blog or photoshoot. What about a "Celebrating Half-Size Men" photoshoot? Or even a "Celebrating Old Men" photoshoot? And not handsome old men. Their grey beards should make you uncomfortable to see. Some people might argue "But you did get that! 2018 was the Year of the Daddy!" Well then, point me to ultra-confrontational in-your-face ad campaign that says "This is a man, and he will not conform to your body standards." Because as far as I can see? All we've got so far is The Rock and Steve Harvey wearing grey for a while. That's not the same as what women are getting. I'm not saying have sex with the old guys and the short guys and the dicklet guys and so on, but I am saying advocate for them. For me. Celebrate our bodies.

Like the fat woman, maybe I don't improve my body because I'm waiting for society to advocate for me. Why should I have to make myself pretty just for the basic level of respect? To make myself pretty defeats the purpose. Society has a lesson to learn about respecting me despite how unfuckable I am.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Determination" or "Giant Chicken Fight"

TL;DR:
I'm having trouble getting my hands on ground chicken because the grocery store I shop at is being difficult. But I am determined. Seemingly more determined than I am to ascend? But the problem with that is, my ascension options won't make me happy. I'll be as unhappy as David Dunn and Elijah Price before they found their callings. It's important to know what your calling is though. Worse than knowing your calling but not knowing how to live it out is wondering what your calling is. I don't think I can live my calling though. Mediocrity might be my destiny.


I haven't posted in a solid week! This is not what I envisioned when I started this journal. So many precious and valuable thoughts can happen in a week! And I need to have them saved so I don't forget them! Anyway, I've been too hungry to post that much. It's been a struggle to wake up in the morning and drag myself to work. And when I get home? I only have so much energy. Maybe a Reddit thread or something. But nothing as text heavy as a journal entry. Why have I been so hungry? Because I still don't have a stove? No, because I haven't had my usual staple food around.

My staple food is ground chicken. And I have a history of difficulty with it. Back in December I saw that they had a surplus of it in stock, as they usually do, and decided to buy some the next day, only to discover that they were out. When this happened a second time I decided to ask when exactly they stock ground chicken. And they said "Every day." But I keep coming in and they don't have it. Until I realize, I need to show up VERY early to get the ground chicken, because someone somewhere has suddenly decided that they like it, and usually by the time evening rolls around it's all gone. So I thought I had the ground chicken issue cracked. But things have only gotten more difficult with the snows in my area. I show up to get some ground chicken, and there's a sign on the door saying "Due to the weather the delivery trucks won't be able to bring us our stock." And true to the sign, I go in and find that they do not have any ground chicken right now. Because the trucks that have it haven't come in.So now I have to wait until the trucks can drive, and when I have time to go to the store. But eventually the time comes when both of those things happen, and I'm able to get some ground chicken. SOME ground chicken. They know I like ground chicken at that store. They always have (sarcastically?) sweet condolences when I show up and they don't have any. But this time they have plenty. So I fill my cart with their entire stock. They apparently stock it fresh every day so I don't see why this should be a problem. They'll have more tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. Like they SWEAR TO ME they always do. But when I rock up to the cashier with my many packs of ground chicken, they say "Oh no, you can't have all of those. You can have 5."

And my mouth said "Ah. I understand. :feelsokman:" But my heart said "Ah! You're trying to thwart me!!! You don't want me to succeed? That's fine. Even as you try to defy me my hunger only grows. Sure. I'll take 5. But I'll be back tomorrow for 5 more. And the next day, and the next day, until I have all of your ground chicken. Make up whatever cheat rules you want, I'm prepared to play your retarded little games because I want this ground chicken. I want it a lot. More than you want to stop me. You cannot imagine, let alone match my dedication to getting this ground chicken. You are nothing compared to my drive, my OBSESSION... with having this ground chicken. I long for your challenge, grocery store..."

So tomorrow I go back. Now, a lot of people might say "If you can't be as dedicated to self-improvement as you are dedicated to playfighting with the grocery store over ground chicken, you must not truly want to ascend." But there's a difference. I can do this ground chicken fight. I can't "ascend" for what "ascension" means to me. I can't do the college thing, as I've mentioned. Or anything like it. Because as I've discussed with other people, the social dynamics don't exist for people my age. The haunt for people my age is the roadhouse bar with the acoustic live band and the old bodies with young souls and the young bodies with old souls. The haunt I wanna be in? The co-ed dorm room after 4 or 5 beers, seeing what happens next. Or at least a more fun bar. And I won't be happy otherwise. So if you're asking if I'm eager to jump into my 40s even though I didn't really get to live through my 20s? No, I don't wanna do that. People say "Well, go to therapy, get some help for this obsession with youth that you have." And I've considered it. What I'm going through is basically a midlife crisis, right? And doctors have cured those, haven't they? But on the other hand, I and some family members have already been to therapy. And the thing about therapy is, therapy can't make you happy if you have a dream that can't come true. The best therapy can do is try to convince you or correct you into liking what's normal. Like if you're a pedophile. A therapist can't help you find the same enjoyment in grown women as you do children. A therapist's job is to beat the pedo out of you with psychiatric powers. Twist you into no longer wanting to fuck a kid, rubbing your nose in mature pussy and shouting "Like it!!! Like it!!! This is what you should like!!!" They'll explain to you why sex with kids is wrong. They'll explain to you all the ways sex with adults should be fulfilling for you, if you were a normal person not attracted to kids. And sure, they'll ask you why you like kids and try to get to the bottom of that neurosis, but there's only so far they can take that. They'll dig for a root stressor or something that makes you like kids, but the objective is to stop having these feelings for kids because you cannot have them. You cannot have kids, and you cannot have these thoughts about kids. A therapist's job is to cure you, not help you be happy.

Speaking of being too old to do stuff, In my last post I said that a grey beard was more of a death sentence than grey hair. @Time Travel made this thread asking if grey hair made him look good.

https://looksmax.org/threads/does-gray-hair-halo-me.7304/

People like it. Yep, white hair can work on people. But not a grey/white beard. It's jarring to look at.

Speaking of mental health issues, I saw that Glass movie recently. It's a "deconstruction" of the superhero genre, like Unbreakable was, but I just find it funny how two of the three lead dudes in this movie are actually part of ongoing legitimate superhero franchises. I guess that says more about the movie market right now. Funny story, did you know that Shyamalan doesn't actually own the rights to Unbreakable and its characters? He created the whole story and he doesn't even own it. Disney/Touchstone owns it. And so to even get this made, and the ending of Split made, he had to promise Disney a cut of the production/distribution gross. That is bullshit. Anyway, I always did feel for Elijah "Mr. Glass" Price. Not just because of the bones, but because he was so desperate to find a place in the world. Fulfillment. To scratch an itch he can't find. And he believes this crazy thing that, if true, means there's something for him in this world. I gotta imagine in Unbreakable when he saw that the perp had the gun that David Dunn sensed, it was like this liberating moment for him. He had just smashed up his bones on the stairs, chasing this guy because maybe he's wrong about this whole superheroes thing but if he can just prove that the perp had the gun that Dunn sensed! Oh! That means it IS all real! And then he saw it. Now all these murders aren't for nothing. Price was fighting to prove something to himself. At first, anyway. Now in Glass, he fights to prove something to the world. That people like him exist, and matter. Also, James McAvoy is really, really something in this movie. Everyone's already said it, but how is he jumping between all of these personalities? Although I don't remember him being so swole in Split. It's kinda distracting. I thought he was only that buff when he was The Beast. So to see him being Patricia with all of his bulk squeezed into that sweater? I keep trying to remember if that's what he looked like in Split. Anyway, if they announced a Phase 2 to this today, I would be on board.

Around last week I saw this thread by @quinn24 about how he felt like he was going nowhere.

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-keep-browsing-the-internet.7310/

I feel like this, and I think that feeling was at the root of Price's/Glass's motivations. And Dunn's motivations in the original Unbreakable. You can't just do any old thing and hope it fulfills you. Dunn decided to be a security guard in hopes that it would fulfill him, but it didn't. He was only fulfilled when he found his calling of being a vigilante superhero. But unfortunately finding your calling, and having the means to live it, it usually goes like it goes in Quinn's thread. Quinn is asking for help, but no one in that thread is able to help him. They wanna help him, but like me, there's nothing anyone can tell him. But if I had to try my hand at it, my guess is Quinn is unhappy with the lack of substance in his life. And I would ask Quinn "Why do you feel like your life isn't enough?" Is it because normal people don't live like this? Do you just know that this isn't the way to live? Is this your "TV dinner" moment, as discussed in this post? Or do you just generally find yourself bored? The first step is finding out what you want out of life. Knowing where you'd fit in the world, if such a place existed.

Speaking of wondering if your life has enough substance, Pran Funkels is about to start. And I'm here for it.


I'm content with Pran Funkels, wouldn't miss a night, but I wonder if this is normal.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Today Was a Good Day" or "Manlet Night"

TL;DR:
Today is, mathematically anyway, the day of the "Good Day" that Ice Cube sang of in "It Was a Good Day." It makes me think about how, so far this month, not much good has happened to me. How will I go about having some good things happen to me? It was a good night last night though. A night for manlet combat sport victories. A night for old men to beat the snot out of young men. These are the nights that probably explain why incels love combat sports. They show an example of success while still being short and/or old and/or with less than optimal muscle insertions. These lives are, in the eyes of many incels, a fair trade off if they can't be tall and aesthetic. But is it a fair trade off for me? What would be a fair trade off? I don't know. I can't see interacting with people my age as any kind of enjoyable. People my age are boring. All of them. Because they're not like young people.






You've maybe heard of the song "It Was a Good Day" by Ice Cube. Because there's a meme behind it. First of all, the song. It's basically Ice Cube listing a bunch of cool things that happened to him that day that made it basically The Best Day Ever. But why is it a meme? Because one Donovan Strain decided to be a nerd and deduce when exactly that day was, according to the events Ice Cube mentioned in it.

That day is today. January 20th.


1992.

Ice Cube disputes this, however. First of all, the song mentions that he got a page from Lil' Kim who was down to fuck. He would not have been having sex with Lil' Kim on January 20th, 1992, because at the time Ice Cube's fiancée was quite pregnant at the time. However, this was the 90s. and gangsta rappers were fucking on the side all the time. And Lil' Kim was the woman to see for that. She fucked everybody and made it part of her identity. She fucked married men and bragged about it. Case in point, she fucked THe Notorious B.I.G. when he had a woman at home. And not only that, the audio of their sex was recorded as an interlude on the 1994 album "Ready to Die." It's called "Fuck Me." And it's just audio of B.I.G. and Lil' Kim having loud, sloppy sex. And B.I.G.'s wife at the time, Faith Evans, heard that track. And was mortified. But Kim didn't care. She gets off on that kind of thing. And yet, for some reason she and Christina Aguilera get mad when no one respects them?

But also, the song is a fictional song. "It Was a Good Day," that is. "Fuck Me" is real. But Good Day isn't an actual day, Ice Cube was just coming up with things that would make his day The Best Day Ever, if they happened.

That song was basically a journal of good and interesting things. And I look at my journal so far and I think, on this great day of Goodness, when will I have some interesting things to write/rap about? In fact, I've mostly had bad things happen. Lost my stove, and I'm in a fight for ground chicken with the grocery store. Maybe what I should do is go through that song and list all of the good things that happened, and see what the equivalents for me would be? But then, somehow good things just "happen" to some people. Me? I gotta go out and find good things.

It was kind of a good night last night though. You know how incels, mostly manlets, are big into combat sports for some reason? I think it's because short men are for some reason really dominant right now. And last night was a hallmark night for that.

Cejudo perpetuates the UFC trend of tiny men overcoming the power of less tiny men. And he does it in the 5th fastest stoppage in the history of ever. Standing at a treetop tall 5 foot 4.


In boxing, Manny Pacquiao, not just a manlet, but an old manlet, defeats Adrien Broner, leaving him salty and memeworthy.


Pac-Man is my height, and isn't that much younger than me. So when I look at him... I don't really think "Oh I could do that" but I do think "Now there's success for a guy who's like me in a lot of ways." Incel manlets who hit the gym but can't achieve that V taper, they look at the stout, trunklike cores of fighters like Pac-Man and think "Maybe I don't have the V, but I'm a better fighter because I have a stronger core!" Having a sturdy core that you can drive punches with, that's a fair trade off for not having a V taper. In the eyes of a lot of incels. And I think that's why they like combat sports so much. Full of manlets with built but less-than-aesthetic bodies who are living lives that they consider just as good as being a tall, aesthetic non-manlet.

It should be noted, however, while Pac-Man is a manlet, his wife is still shorter than him. SOMEHOW. That still remains the rule, it seems, for successful manlets. Still gotta find a woman that isn't taller than you.

If I can't live my dreams of experiencing the boons of youth, I guess I would have to figure out what a good trade off is for that. But so far I just... I can't think of anything. In my wildest imagination, nothing sounds as fun to me as the fantasies I have in my head right now. And people my age, they all seem so boring. Every last one. I'm trying to find people my age who are fun, but none of them are. Just by being old they carry with them the dull dryness of characteristics like wisdom and restraint. Have you seen this video?


You don't even have to watch this video, just search "20s vs. 30s" on YouTube. Or anywhere, really. There's a cottage industry of illustrating the differences in how much fun young people are vs. how boring old people are. I'll save you the trouble of watching the video: 20s couple's life is full of passion and spontaneity, 30s couple's life is full of mundane routine. The dude is a dickless blob and the chick is a frigid bitch. And every time one of these is made, idiots in the comments section are like "I prefer the 30s couple I don't like all these games the 20s couple plays!" Fuck you. And fuck society if that's where we're headed. This cannot be the future. I cannot see myself living in it.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Matters Of Principle" or "Disenfranchised In America"

TL;DR:
It was cold as tits today, but I made it into work. I was watching Netflix inbetween waiting for my work to load, but that's bad optics to my supervisor so he bitched me out. And so I was like "That's it, I'm gonna deal with this filter thing" and decided to try and go over his head. But he heard about it because he was in conference call with the Senior Manager. So now I'm waiting for the repercussions of that to hit me. Today I trained that one new lady we hired, and she reminded me of what little options I have as an older dude. I went to the dollar store today to buy a wrench and saw some cheap clothes that reminded me of what little options the disadvantaged in general have. Been thinking a lot about being at a disadvantage and what the best options we have are. Went on Reddit to ask other people how good their sex lives are, but got modded. So screw it. While I was there I ran into some old acquaintances in the "being lonely" game. And while I miss them, they and the subreddits they traffic have an ignorant anti-incel bias. And I can't dignify that.




It was MLK Jr. Day today, and I argue I should've gotten the day off. But soldier that I am, I braved sub-zero temperatures to make it into work. It was ass-blisteringly cold. But me and my snow, I gotta have it. It's just I prefer "winter wonderland" cold instead of "distant frozen moon" cold. Not too cold that I can't play in the snow or something like that. Not that I do play in the snow, but it should be the kind of weather that kids can play in.

Punisher, Season 2 premiered on Netflix a little while ago, so I was watching that today at work. Which I guess comes at some risk. They're fearing for my mental health apparently. Maybe I shouldn't be watching Punisher when they at one point at least feared I was gonna shoot the place up because they thought I was looking at guns on the Internet. And then there was that time I was talking to myself on the elevator. I had no idea they were watching me that close, by the way. But I was watching Punisher, and I got no further than the opening bits of Episode 2 when my supervisor should come along and get scared because it looks like I'm not working.

Lemme explain something about my job. I don't know what my exact title is, but what I do is, I'm given these pieces of software that we make. We make these software solutions and services. And my job is to take parts that people write and test them for errors and load and stuff like that. And the thing about these tests is, sometimes they take a while to resolve. So there's several minutes that pass before I can do anything. Because I'm waiting for the test to resolve. There's no notes to take or anything like that, if that's what you maybe thought. There's nothing. So I figure there's no harm if, while I wait for the test to resolve, I watch Netflix. Because they've blocked everything else I like. And yet my supervisor STILL comes over and assumes the worst. So I explain to him, a little frantically because he's jumping to conclusions "I'm waiting for the test to resolve! I'm waiting for the test to resolve!" And he's like "Okay." But he also says he doesn't like to see me watching Netflix. And he also accuses me of "raising my voice?" Long story short, he's glad that I wasn't slacking, technically, but he still doesn't like me watching Netflix.

It was one of those moments. Where I'm like "Alright, fuck this." Because I'm doing my job. Netflix has not caused any drop in productivity. It's just he doesn't like the way it looks. It's a matter of principle. It's not that he wants me to work harder, he just doesn't like that I'm having fun even though I literally cannot work. Because work is not a place of fun, I guess. If he didn't see me doing this, and my productivity stayed the same, he wouldn't care. He just doesn't wanna know about the Netflix. Because of principle. And that's retarded. And it got me thinking about all of the other things that are still blocked for me. And how I came in so early today despite the cold only to get long dicked by my supervisor because of his piss-diaper paranoia. And how trying me like this can only hurt my productivity. And THAT got me thinking "Who actually sets the filter policy here?" Because I've been looking at the org chart of where I work. And I recently got a new Senior Manager. And I only started having these content filter issues when the Senior Manager started. So I'm thinking the old manager let this stuff slide, but this new guy, not knowing how we do things here, set the policy to something new because what does he care? So I thought "Maybe if I go OVER my supervisor's head and talk to the Senior Manager, he'll stop this filter stuff and, while I'll still have to prove to my supervisor that I'm working, the websites won't actually be blocked anymore."

So when I'm free, I step outside and make the call. I make this call under the premise that the filter is actually impeding work. Which is does. I mean, it could. Because for a lot of my testing I need to make Internet connections to other sites and servers and so on. And with the variety of clients we work with and could potentially work with, there's a good chance we might run into someone whose Internet resources are blocked by our filter. So, technically, maybe it's a good idea to not block so many sites. And I'm wondering if he's the guy who sets the policy for the content filter, and if he can just go ahead and ease off the grip. That's how I try to explain it to him anyway. But it just so happens that, when I call, he's talking to my supervisor. So I say all this while my supervisor is listening. So now my supervisor, unless he's an idiot, and he probably isn't, knows that I'm desperate to get through this filter. The Senior Manager says something to the effect of "Oh, the security filter is set by the security team and I don't know how to change it, I don't do that, I mostly just receive troubleshooting tickets and then delegate that to the security team but if you're having trouble in that area maybe just send your work to this OTHER team because I dunno what to dooooo~" except I said the CONTENT filter. Not the security policy. The security people don't handle the content filter and I know that for a fact. But the Senior Manager doesn't care. Typical slack off upper management lip service. It either means "I don't know what he's talking about and I don't care, it's not my job to know this anymore. I have lower-downs who understand that stuff for me. All I have to care about is if the work gets done" or "I don't wanna give this guy anything or change anything that's set up already, better come up with a believable sounding excuse that a grunt like him is too compartmentalized to know is bullshit." So I hang up, empty handed. Worse off than before I made the call, actually. Because now my supervisor knows I tried to go over his head. He will remember that. And probably take action... soon.

For now I'm waiting for the sword to fall. While I wait, I've been assigned to train one of the new employees. The Asian woman I mentioned in this post. It was fun for a while because I felt an attraction to her. But then it dawned on me: If she's here, she's probably not in school anymore. And even if I was lucky enough to be with her, it would be a life of mediocrity. I would not be fulfilling my dream. And so as I made the long, cold trek back home, all I could think about were my options as a man over 40. On my way home I stopped into this dollar store to pick up a wrench. I need to unbolt the valves and stuff behind my stove in hopes of learning what kind of stove it is and whether I can repair/replace it. Have you ever been to a dollar store in the United States? The one I was at sold affordable clothing with words like "HUSTLER" and "GOAL DIGGER" and all manner of slogan referencing "The Grind™" printed on them. I only ever see this on cheap clothing. I have a theory. Clothes like this are sold cheap because the target consumer for them is the working poor. If you're living paycheck to paycheck, you might feel disadvantaged. But put on your "GOAL DIGGER" shirt and suddenly you're not "disadvantaged." You're "hustling." You're working hard, sure, but you're not "struggling," no. Otherwise how could you afford such nice shirts? You scrimp, and you save, but it's not because you're underpaid. It's because you're working hard. It's not that you don't have options like everyone else, it's just you have to work hard to have your options. Surely everyone else is, right?

The weight of having few options weighs heavily. But I thought "Okay, so being an old man, what's the best life I could live?" As far as sex, I mean. I thought maybe I should ask some people my age about their sex lives. And the only sizable community of people willing to discuss their sex lives in on Reddit. So I went to r/sex and asked the "40 And Ups" about their sex lives. The thread was removed without notification. I don't have the patience to bother any of the mods about why, considering I usually get to ask about stuff like that. But I tried the same question over on r/sexover30 and they modded me there too. But get this, they explained that they don't allow polls or surveys without "IRB/REB approval or exemption letter." This is what I'm talking about. This senior citizen shit. Only a subreddit for old people would say "I'm not talking about my sex life with you without an actual goddamn ethics board sanction." On an anonymous Internet forum, holy fuck. Young people don't think like this. And you expect me join the side that's this fucking persnickety about sex on a sex forum??? I'm supposed to be happy amongst those assholes??? Reddit and its rules let me down once again tonight. Reminds me of why I don't hang out there very often.

While I was there, I visited some of my old acquaintances from r/ForeverAlone. I've been missing them. And they were all like "Hey, where've you been, so on and so on." I hate to leave them to their misery, I'd like to be there for them and console them. But like I said, Reddit has too many rules. Every subreddit I visit, the mods are such bitches. Namely ForeverAlone. I left because of their attitude towards incels. In the eyes of ForeverAlone, to want to commit suicide is wrong, but understandable, because it's a compulsion of great personal anguish and should be treated with nuance. But to be angry at the world is NOT understandable? Even as I try to explain that both are the product of compulsion and neither are ideal but both deserve the same nuance, they say no. So I can't dignify ForeverAlone by hanging out there anymore. To my friends there, I love you guys, I wish you all the strength, but I am every stripe the incel you guys claim to hate. And I will not sacrifice my principles here. It's important that I don't. If I do, that means I'm turning my back on people who need help. And I wanna help everyone. You want me to only help some people. That's not gonna fly.

It's almost time for another work day to start. Any day now my supervisor is probably gonna have a talk with me in his office. Who knows how closely I'm being watched. Maybe they're reading this thread?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Machiavelli" or "A Change of Face"

TL;DR: Looksmax.org has ads now, I noticed. But unlike on Incels.is, they're not all porn ads. So how was Looksmax.org able to get a non-porn sponsor when both Incels.is and Looksmax.org are owned by the same guy, and it's not even a secret? Did Sarge's appearance on that podcast earn him some mainstream appeal? Also, the big bosses at my job are coming for me next week and it probably has something to do with the fact that I tried to go over my supervisor's head so I could browse the Internet for leisure. My job woes remind me of how my sister recently quit her job, but where I suffer indignity because I don't have a new job lined up yet, she quit without getting a new job and now she mooches off my parents. I found out while visiting them. And while I visited them my mom suggested I meet people by taking up hobbies. But she and my dad didn't meet through hobbies. No normie meets through hobbies, that's a bullshit platitude. But I did meet someone on Tinder. Unfortunately, it was through my Incelfishing account and she has a very different image in mind of who I am, and I can't ever meet her in person. So I'm very upset. Upset enough that I really feel like I should scrap the whole thing and start anew. I wonder if I would get different fishing results with different bait.



I'm maybe the only one who browses without AdBlock, but I noticed something new around Looksmax.org. Ads! But they're not porn ads like on Incels.is. Just... regular Google ads... :feelswhere:

This is intriguing to me because I always thought Incels.is ran porn ads because those are the only sponsors Incels.is could get. That's usually how it goes for things like this. When mainstream sponsors and platforms and so on won't do business with you, you turn to porn. Can't host a video on YouTube? Host it on PornHub. Can't get regular ad sponsors for your incel website? Porn always pays. Problem with that thinking, though, is that Incels.is and Looksmax.org are owned and managed by the same guy, @Sergeant . So how is it that Looksmax.org is able to get regular ads, but Incels.is isn't? Does Google just not know that they're run by the same guy? Not care to look that deeply into it? Or is Looksmax seen as a relatively new and more tolerable face turn for the Incels.is family? If that's what advertisers are thinking, I have to challenge them on that. Because while there are differences between Looksmax.org and Incels.is, they're slight. If your issue is "We can't do business with Incels.is because of what it promotes," how do you know what it promotes and how it differs from what Looksmax.org promotes? Is it based on the site terms? Because we don't allow women in here either. The only difference is that here we're a little more open to worship.

But I'm only just assuming that the sponsors won't do business with Incels.is. This could all be in my head. Does anyone know the truth?

I'm kinda anxious right now, more exasperated than anxious, Friday wasn't very good to me. Recently I went over my boss's head to see if I could get the filter fixed so I could visit all my favorite sites again. I talked to the Senior Manager. It didn't work. So there I was this most recent Friday at work, watching Punisher, Season 2. Because it's my only option to occupy my mind during downtime. And my boss comes over, probably because he saw me watching Netflix. I really gotta wonder who is behind this filter if not him. Because if he doesn't want me watching Netflix, he could just block it, couldn't he? The reason it's unblocked and everything else IS blocked because it's okay, right? Anyway, he doesn't come over just to hassle me about Netflix. He instead comes over to tell me that the upstairs bigwigs are coming over either on Monday, or definitely some time that week. Namely the Senior Manager. And the Enterprise Operations Manager. And potentially others. He's patient with me and gives me the retard talk because I'm a retard. Don't do anything retarded and be on my best behavior for corporate. He doesn't give anyone else this talk because he knows I need it and others don't. He tells me this because they will probably need to come over and talk to me. Me personally. I take a minute to lament being the kind of person who needs to be told not to be a weirdo around the big bosses, then grapple with the larger issue: Corporate is probably coming over because I went and tattled to them. Or maybe they're like "Hmm, this guy is trying to get in some leisure time on the clock, let's address that." Or whatever. All I know is, whatever they're here for, they probably have that phone call fresh in mind and they're gonna be in the same office as I am when they show up. And they're probably gonna wanna talk to me. I've been thinking about it since Friday, and it's really lit a fire under my ass to go work somewhere else. But... I don't know that I can. It's been at least a decade since I've been working here and I don't have anything age-appropriate to show for it. If I leave here, the best my resume can get me is a $10 an hour data entry job. And what am I supposed to do with these guys as my previous employer? They're gonna be like "Yeah he was so bad at focusing on his work that we had to call in the upstairs people. He's a child." I am NOT a child, and I will defend my browsing choices to the death. And I'll probably get the chance next week.

Speaking of jobs, I went and visited my parents recently. One of my kid sisters has moved back in with them. Why? Because she quit her job. And she quit without lining up new work! I hate my job too, but you can't just let yourself be without income. I'd like to tell her this. But she's like a bad roommate. She doesn't talk to me, or really anyone, preferring to leave these passive aggressive notes around, or holding her tongue until she explodes with anger. Anyway, my mother says that I should try and meet women by taking up some hobbies. Meet people doing the things I like. Problem with that though, I don't wanna have sex with people who do the things I like. And you notice, this is only advice that lonely people get? "Pick up a hobby?" Normal people don't have hobbies, and they meet people. Doing normal "non-hobby" things. You think the majority of people are meeting friends and fuck buddies at the theater or during rollerblading or mountain hiking or some such bullshit? The majority of people don't even do these things. So why should I have to? In fact, if I had the opportunity to ask a group of normies "What are your hobbies?" they'd probably struggle with the question before coming up with "Uhhhhh, I like to watch Netflix..." because the majority of people aren't globetrotting amateur mycologists. I ask my mother and father how they met, something I never really thought to ask until now. And like I thought, they met through normie means: They had a mutual friend. My dad was friends with a guy when he served. And my mom met a friend in school. This friend went to church and through church met my dad's friend. And one day they were all at my dad's friend's house. And that's where my mom and dad met. It's not hobbies that bring most people together. It's communities. Social environments like school or church or the military, where a bunch of people you see everyday are. A bunch of people, and a compulsion to socialize. That's why it got so hard for me when I got out of college. I have no community.

But maybe I shouldn't curse my fate so hard. Because while I don't have a community, I think I've met someone through Tinder. My latest match...


She's a college student. On pics alone I would be honored, HONORED to hit. But she's got more than pics. Not only is she pretty, but in her bio she goes on about how much of a "bratty slut" she is with a "giant ass" and how she doesn't want any vanilla princes, only perverts who want to fuck. It sounded too good to be human, I had to check if she were a bot or catfish, but she checks out. It makes no sense that she swiped right on me. And we've been sharing sexual fantasies with one another over the past few days, but now she wants to actually meet me. Thing about that is, if you've been following, my Tinder account is an "Incelfish" account. I'm pretending to be a currycel named Anselm from Bhubaneswar. The only thing in the bio that's accurate is the age, and that I'm a man. So... I cannot meet this beautiful woman. :feelscry:

I'm pissed. If this had been a regular Chadfishing, I wouldn't be so broken up about this. I wouldn't have set myself up to have my heart broken. I would have come to terms from the start with the fact that I am not Chad and I can't be with the women Chad meets. But I'm pretending to be an aging currycel. I wasn't supposed to get ANY matches AT ALL. And here I am not only getting matches, but one of them wants to actually meet for actual sex? I'm pissed! EVERYONE from Incels.is to Looksmax.org told me that brown people were the least desirable and could never truly ascend. Not only is Anselm The Incelfish a curry, but he's old. And somehow he found the ONE woman in ALL of Christendom that actually wants to be with him. But because this is all an incelfishing, I can't make good on this. And don't tell me "Just come clean." Because I've violated this woman's trust. And I can already tell from the short amount of time we've talked that her trust is something she takes very seriously. She's into that BDSM stuff, see. And as a rule the BDSM community is big into the whole "Consent Is Sexy" movement right now. Got an earful of that at this fetish party I went to for Halloween last year.

https://looksmax.org/threads/im-going-to-a-fetish-party-for-halloween-and-i-need-a-costume-idea-technically-this-falls-under-looksmaxing.2847/

https://incels.is/threads/i-went-to-a-fetish-party-for-halloween-in-an-attempt-to-ascend-ask-me-anything.86312/

I lied to her, and she will not forgive me. This is a done deal. I can't meet her. But if I had only told her the truth, I could have. But I didn't, because I never thought an oldcel like me, ESPECIALLY masquerading as "Anselm the Incel from India" could ever find a woman like this. Most of me hopes it's a catfish. I'd rather be lied to than believe there was treasure out there I could've had.

I don't know if I'll ever meet another girl like her. But this has got me feeling pretty low. To the point where I'm thinking maybe, once I'm let down and she moves on, I should scrap this Tinder. Disappear, and start anew. Because this Anselm fishing hasn't really turned up what I was hoping to get. I'm using it mostly for research. I wanna ask people if they party as hard as I think. And where and how to get to parties. I wanna learn how normal people get by. But the people I match with are all like "Oh, my school isn't a big party school." And I can maybe believe that, but I wanna see if they say that same thing to another person. Maybe someone younger with bigger muscles. Or how about this for a fish? An older gentleman with a lot of money? Maybe he takes care of his body. Or maybe he really DOESN'T take care of his body. Or how about a guy with a Chad face and a Chad chin and Chad trap muscles, but in his bio he warns women that he's only 5 foot 5? But on the OTHER hand, maybe he's got an 8 inch dick? There's all manner of fish I wanna try out. But I would I need multiple accounts, wouldn't I? Multiple phones? How does @Reddit_is_for_cucks over on Incels.is do it? Should probably ask him.

In the meantime, it's writhing in frustration in the one that got away. And losing sleep over my job. :feelswah:
 
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FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"And Suddenly Things Turned Sour" or "The View From Orbit"

TL;DR:
Screenshots of my/Anselm's latest Tinder match learning I/Anselm is a virgin and being so blown over by the fact that she doubts everything she's heard about me. Like a cuck I desperately try to make her like me, even though I can never meet her.



Pran Funkels is on, and they're playing a game called Trojan.


Reminds me of all the sweet talk I told this woman about how I would buy her perfumes and so on. Even though I can never meet her. And cuck that I am, part of me considered "Maybe I can just buy her things forever and never meet her, that way I can keep her happy and never break the premise of my fishing." This "relationship" is probably very bad for me. Fortunately(?) I might have an out. I don't wanna be the one to break it, I'm too much of a good person. But she might be looking to break it herself. I've been talking to her. Here's the screenshots. And Tinder Friend, if you happen upon this thread, I don't think they'll let you join. But hello. I guess you know the truth now.

First, I should preface with a recap. I didn't start this account to Incelfish, the idea only came to me after @LDARGoblin and the Incels.is gang created Anselm. So because the idea came to me after I made the account, all I could do to change the account for Incelfishing was change the picture and the bio. The age and name must stay the same.

Tinder-0.png


So in order to be "Anselm" I have to clarify that "Justin" is just a pseudonym. And it was, that's the truth. I originally made the account just to browse and see who would talk to me. "Justin's" full name is "Justin Hierebrowsing." I've clarified that with this woman. This'll be relevant come later screenshots because this woman reads Anselm's bio.

So we're talking about the stuff we wanna do to one another, and I mention off the cuff that it's been a while since I've seen a vagina. And she asks if I'm married. I say no. And she brings up how my bio says I've only had one sexual experience. She wants to know what it was. This is all part of the backstory of Anselm's character that @LDARGoblin told me.

His mother left him in the woods as a child, where he was found and raised by a family of frogs. At the age of 17 Anselm was casted away for using his family member as a fleshlight
So I tell her...

Tinder-1.png

Interesting thing, she appears to be less shocked at the fact that I fucked a frog, and more shocked at the fact that I'm a virgin. I explain that it's because I'm ugly. She gives me the usual platitudes. "Someone for everyone, you know the drill."

Tinder-2.png

But she's also so bowled over by my admission that she refuses to believe it. How??? HOW am I still a virgin??? A lot of people tell me "Don't admit you're a virgin, it can only hurt you." But I tell you gentlemen, this is something I've always wanted an opportunity to do. And to get it off my chest was more sexually gratifying than all the masturbatory sessions I have ever known. I wanna be close enough to a person so I can say "Yes! I am a virgin! I don't want to be! What should I do??? Help me!!! What do you think I should do to fuck people like you do???" But it seems right now she doesn't believe me. Eventually she asks me what my job is.

Tinder-3.png

Then she asks why I don't have any photos of myself. I explain that it's because I'm ugly. She warns me that I'm lucky to be getting matches without a photograph of myself. I remind her that we discussed earlier that I originally made the account just to browse. And then I remark that I "hit the jackpot" when I met her. :soy: She shuts that shit down with "We haven't met yet so no jackpot." Earlier she couldn't stop talking about how she wants to meet me. Her tune has made a COMPLETE 360 at this point.. She's turned 360 degrees and she's walking away as we speak. But in my defense, I didn't mean "hit the jackpot" as in "Found someone who will have sex with me," I meant "Found someone who didn't think I was a bot or something and decided to swipe right." Because as she said, the odds of that happening are low.

She asks why I would go on Tinder just to browse.

Tinder-4.png

I explain why, and then she says she thinks anonymity is sexy. Like sex with strangers and all that. So I think I'm good again. Even though I can never meet her. But THEN she hits me with the "I don't think your backstory is true." Because Anselm isn't a Hindi name.

Tinder-5.png

And now I'm kicking myself over committing to the character. Anselm isn't a Hindi first name. Damn it! But does everyone from India have to have curry-sounding first names? Can't I be named after Anselm of Canterbury? People get named after people all the time! I'm wishing I had a more believable backstory to go with. Actually, I'm wishing I hadn't gone through with this at all if there's women like this woman willing to have sex with men my age, provided we don't lie to them.

But I'm in too deep. I must commit to the bit. I tell her that though my first name isn't Indian-sounding, my last name is, and that's what counts. I go looking for the right Hindi surname. It takes me a while.


Tinder-6.png

Then she asks me where I live. I've omitted it from the chatlog so as not to get myself doxxed/DC Sniper'd.

Tinder-7.png

Tinder-8.png

And that's all of that so far. Here's where I am now. Struggling to keep this conversation alive. She was so much more interested in me earlier, I gotta tell ya. This is what I'm talking about. The worst thing I could've done was violate her trust. But I do wonder why she wants to know where I live if she's not interested in me. Looking to prove I am who I say I am? I think I'd be happier if she was catfishing me and this is actually someone looking to burgle me. Because whether it's a burglar who steals my stuff, or she's the real deal and I end up buying her things and never having sex with her, either way I end up getting robbed.
 
Felix97

Felix97

honestcel
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
2,918
"And Suddenly Things Turned Sour" or "The View From Orbit"

TL;DR: Screenshots of my/Anselm's latest Tinder match learning I/Anselm is a virgin and being so blown over by the fact that she doubts everything she's heard about me. Like a cuck I desperately try to make her like me, even though I can never meet her.



Pran Funkels is on, and they're playing a game called Trojan.


Reminds me of all the sweet talk I told this woman about how I would buy her perfumes and so on. Even though I can never meet her. And cuck that I am, part of me considered "Maybe I can just buy her things forever and never meet her, that way I can keep her happy and never break the premise of my fishing." This "relationship" is probably very bad for me. Fortunately(?) I might have an out. I don't wanna be the one to break it, I'm too much of a good person. But she might be looking to break it herself. I've been talking to her. Here's the screenshots. And Tinder Friend, if you happen upon this thread, I don't think they'll let you join. But hello. I guess you know the truth now.

First, I should preface with a recap. I didn't start this account to Incelfish, the idea only came to me after @LDARGoblin and the Incels.is gang created Anselm. So because the idea came to me after I made the account, all I could do to change the account for Incelfishing was change the picture and the bio. The age and name must stay the same.



So in order to be "Anselm" I have to clarify that "Justin" is just a pseudonym. And it was, that's the truth. I originally made the account just to browse and see who would talk to me. "Justin's" full name is "Justin Hierebrowsing." I've clarified that with this woman. This'll be relevant come later screenshots because this woman reads Anselm's bio.

So we're talking about the stuff we wanna do to one another, and I mention off the cuff that it's been a while since I've seen a vagina. And she asks if I'm married. I say no. And she brings up how my bio says I've only had one sexual experience. She wants to know what it was. This is all part of the backstory of Anselm's character that @LDARGoblin told me.



So I tell her...


Interesting thing, she appears to be less shocked at the fact that I fucked a frog, and more shocked at the fact that I'm a virgin. I explain that it's because I'm ugly. She gives me the usual platitudes. "Someone for everyone, you know the drill."


But she's also so bowled over by my admission that she refuses to believe it. How??? HOW am I still a virgin??? A lot of people tell me "Don't admit you're a virgin, it can only hurt you." But I tell you gentlemen, this is something I've always wanted an opportunity to do. And to get it off my chest was more sexually gratifying than all the masturbatory sessions I have ever known. I wanna be close enough to a person so I can say "Yes! I am a virgin! I don't want to be! What should I do??? Help me!!! What do you think I should do to fuck people like you do???" But it seems right now she doesn't believe me. Eventually she asks me what my job is.


Then she asks why I don't have any photos of myself. I explain that it's because I'm ugly. She warns me that I'm lucky to be getting matches without a photograph of myself. I remind her that we discussed earlier that I originally made the account just to browse. And then I remark that I "hit the jackpot" when I met her. :soy: She shuts that shit down with "We haven't met yet so no jackpot." Earlier she couldn't stop talking about how she wants to meet me. Her tune has made a COMPLETE 360 at this point.. She's turned 360 degrees and she's walking away as we speak. But in my defense, I didn't mean "hit the jackpot" as in "Found someone who will have sex with me," I meant "Found someone who didn't think I was a bot or something and decided to swipe right." Because as she said, the odds of that happening are low.

She asks why I would go on Tinder just to browse.


I explain why, and then she says she thinks anonymity is sexy. Like sex with strangers and all that. So I think I'm good again. Even though I can never meet her. But THEN she hits me with the "I don't think your backstory is true." Because Anselm isn't a Hindi name.


And now I'm kicking myself over committing to the character. Anselm isn't a Hindi first name. Damn it! But does everyone from India have to have curry-sounding first names? Can't I be named after Anselm of Canterbury? People get named after people all the time! I'm wishing I had a more believable backstory to go with. Actually, I'm wishing I hadn't gone through with this at all if there's women like this woman willing to have sex with men my age, provided we don't lie to them.

But I'm in too deep. I must commit to the bit. I tell her that though my first name isn't Indian-sounding, my last name is, and that's what counts. I go looking for the right Hindi surname. It takes me a while.


Then she asks me where I live. I've omitted it from the chatlog so as not to get myself doxxed/DC Sniper'd.

And that's all of that so far. Here's where I am now. Struggling to keep this conversation alive. She was so much more interested in me earlier, I gotta tell ya. This is what I'm talking about. The worst thing I could've done was violate her trust. But I do wonder why she wants to know where I live if she's not interested in me. Looking to prove I am who I say I am? I think I'd be happier if she was catfishing me and this is actually someone looking to burgle me. Because whether it's a burglar who steals my stuff, or she's the real deal and I end up buying her things and never having sex with her, either way I end up getting robbed.
don‘t tell them you‘re a virgin jfl, just lie about it

look how she got turned off when she found out
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
don‘t tell them you‘re a virgin jfl, just lie about it

look how she got turned off when she found out
I understand, but it won't mean anything for me unless my partner knows I'm a virgin. It's something I need to confess to. I need to be saved from it.
 
Sergeant

Sergeant

Admin
Joined
Aug 10, 2018
Messages
226
TL;DR: Looksmax.org has ads now, I noticed. But unlike on Incels.is, they're not all porn ads. So how was Looksmax.org able to get a non-porn sponsor when both Incels.is and Looksmax.org are owned by the same guy, and it's not even a secret? Did Sarge's appearance on that podcast earn him some mainstream appeal? Also, the big bosses at my job are coming for me next week and it probably has something to do with the fact that I tried to go over my supervisor's head so I could browse the Internet for leisure. My job woes remind me of how my sister recently quit her job, but where I suffer indignity because I don't have a new job lined up yet, she quit without getting a new job and now she mooches off my parents. I found out while visiting them. And while I visited them my mom suggested I meet people by taking up hobbies. But she and my dad didn't meet through hobbies. No normie meets through hobbies, that's a bullshit platitude. But I did meet someone on Tinder. Unfortunately, it was through my Incelfishing account and she has a very different image in mind of who I am, and I can't ever meet her in person. So I'm very upset. Upset enough that I really feel like I should scrap the whole thing and start anew. I wonder if I would get different fishing results with different bait.
Couldn't read everything, but regarding ads it's because looksmax was approved for google ads, .is rejected, so we have to use different ad provider. We might change this in the future, no idea.
Please use an adblocker, I hate them myself. ublock origin is the best.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Couldn't read everything, but regarding ads it's because looksmax was approved for google ads, .is rejected, so we have to use different ad provider. We might change this in the future, no idea.
Please use an adblocker, I hate them myself. ublock origin is the best.
I have no beef with the ads, I like them. But I was wondering why it is Incels.is has to have porn ads, but Looksmax.org has the choice of Google ads. And it looks like my theory was correct. Incels.is is banned from Google ads, but Looksmax.org isn't. But why? Because Incels.is has a bad reputation?
 
Sergeant

Sergeant

Admin
Joined
Aug 10, 2018
Messages
226
I have no beef with the ads, I like them. But I was wondering why it is Incels.is has to have porn ads, but Looksmax.org has the choice of Google ads. And it looks like my theory was correct. Incels.is is banned from Google ads, but Looksmax.org isn't. But why? Because Incels.is has a bad reputation?
As I said, .is was rejected, reasons are out of my understanding though one can guess.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"The Family Business" or "Motorbiking To Alaska"

TL;DR: Putting the main body of text behind a spoiler tag because all of the text on this page is making it hard to load. I had my meeting with the bosses and it was just a performance review. But after the performance review my supervisor took me aside and yelled at me. And then later that day he said he was sorry and that he basically "forgave" me. Bratty Slut has unmatched me. I need a dream to hold onto. But I can't just hold onto it, I need to pursue it. I talked to my mom and learned that if I wanna slay, my dad might be my best guide to how to do that. But she doesn't seem happy about me wanting to be a degenerate. She wants me to act my age.

The servers were down a little while ago and I thought it had something to do with the Polar Vortex. Or the Snow Squall. Which maybe didn't make sense because I thought computers loved the cold. But the inability to load Looksmax and Incels.is made me think about how tough this thread is to load. All this text is enough text to actually call on some real resources. But what if I hid the main body of text behind a spoiler window? So I'm gonna try that and see if it helps.

The corporate penguin suits did visit on Monday, and they gave me a performance review. It was my annual performance review, but this was the first time they were there for it. That was pretty much uneventful.

But after they left? My supervisor pulls me into his office for another meeting. And he's furious about the phone call, like I thought. He doesn't say "Hey you were trying to get past the filter" or anything like that, he's upset that I apparently had a technical issue and didn't come to him first. He says that I'm not to call corporate about these things, I'm apparently not supposed to. He says he had to put out a lot of fires for the sake of keeping me on after that phone call, smoothing things over with corporate. I don't know what he means by that and he wasn't in a mood to clarify. But he says if I do it again, I'll be punished. :feelsbaton:

This is one of those moments where I'm thinking "I should tell the higher ups about this." But if what my supervisor says is true, they're on his side about this and don't want me calling them. Which would make it true that I'm not allowed to contact the higher ups about business matters. But I've never heard of this? But my supervisor was talking to me like it was obvious that I should know this. Later that day he warms back up to me and apologizes, but suggests I think about things like this next time. As if there was any rule anywhere that said I shouldn't call corporate.

Real TV dinner moment. :feelsbadman: On top of that, the bratty slut made it official and unmatched me. She told me it was because she felt like she didn't know me. Didn't like that I didn't have a picture of myself. Felt like I was lying or trying to hide something. And to be fair, I was. But I just feel like it had something to do with my saying I was a virgin. But she says it wasn't that. She says she was always suspicious of me. But that just doesn't square with how she was acting before. If it was all an act, why break the act when she did? It doesn't have any explanation other than something about that day made me seem suspicious enough that she called me out. Maybe she's reading this thread? It's too late for her to tell me, she's unmatched with me. Maybe it was that I said I was a virgin, and she thought I was lying or whatever. People, incels and non-incels, men and women, have said I should just not tell people I'm a virgin. But I ain't about that life. I'd be no better than those trannies who hide the fact that they're trans until after the clothes come off. But mostly? It's because I want to be saved from my virginity. It's kind of a fantasy I have. You hear so much about incels and Foreveralones who have friends and family who talk to them about sex, and the subject of whether or not they're virgins is often broached. And these incels and Foreveralones, they dread this. But not me! It's my fantasy to have one of those conversations. My fantasy is thus: I wanna have some female friends/acquaintances/colleagues who are comfortable enough talking to me about their sex lives. And then they say "@FrothySolutions, how about you? What's your take on this sexual topic we're talking about?" And breaking from the pack of liars and deniers before me, I'll say "I don't know. The fact is, I haven't ever had relations. I am a virgin." And they would say "No way you're a virgin! You're so sexually attractive!" I'm sexually attractive in this fantasy. And these friends of mine decide that they need to get me un-virgined. Just one of the things I would've liked to have happen to me. To have someone want to have sex with me, learn I am a virgin, and have that somehow augment the experience. Like it's some kind of exciting mission for them to have me broken in. And I kinda need it to be a group of friends. So many anons have come so close to this, it's just they never reveal that they're virgins. And I feel like I almost came close with the woman who unmatched with me.

So I'm stuck in a hostile work environment, and I've lost my best Tinder match. I've been giving a lot of thought to crazy fantasies like the one I just mentioned. They're usually the result of some great loss or breaking point. Like maybe you quit your job, sell everything you own, and take the money road tripping on your bike up to Alaska. Some guy in Imgur did that. It wasn't wise, but he was happy. And that's all I really want. To do something stupid that will make me happy. I'm trying to compile a list of things I'd like to do. Mostly inspired by the greentexts of anons who made it out of the NEETdom. They start taking care of themselves, suddenly the QTs start noticing them and showing interest in them, then they get invited to a party, yadda yadda yadda, sex. It's crazy fantasies like these, and getting another job for instance, that keep me sane while working for this supervisor of mine. Like, this is only temporary. I haven't started living my "real life" yet. There's an anime called "Kaiji" with a pretty profound quote about stupid thinking like this. I think it basically means that if you haven't started living your real life yet, you should try to start living it as soon as possible, because you don't wanna end up on your death bed having been complacent about how shitty your life was, as if by magic it was gonna improve itself. So I went to visit my parents again. I wanted to check on them because it's #PolarVortex and #SnowSquall. My mom talked to me about getting out there and finding a woman. She suggested I learn how to slow dance. And right off the bat I know my mom is talking about women and relationships that I'm not interested in. She's talking about sophisticated and mature women, whose main appeal isn't how hot they are or how slutty they are, but how loyal they are, and that they share my interests. I'm not looking to do that. I'm looking to end up on State Snaps. I'm looking to meet a girl who will let me spray her in the twat with a Super Soaker at a house party or beach party or some third kind of party. I explain this to my mom. She points out that I'm too old for that shit. And I know. And that's the depressing place I am right now. That my heart's fondest ambition is beyond me. I don't want her slow dancing deep conversationalist women, they bore me. They bore straight through my brain. They bore me to death. I want the fun women, and I want to be fun enough to be worth the fun women's interest. I tell my mom this, and she seems kinda... offended? Or disgusted? Because this isn't a good way to live? But she says that if that's the kind of life I wanna live, I should ask my dad for advice. Because that's what he used to do.

First, I feel sorry for my mom. Because my mom is one of those slow dancing conversationalists who prioritizes loyalty and stability over reckless flash. And I feel like I'm "rejecting" her. Which doesn't make sense because she's my mom. And she has my dad. But she's mad at me now. But I'm like "How could you not think I would want the fun life, Mom?" Then again, boring women need love too. But if I can flip this on you, Mom, why don't the boring women just be more fun? It's true, you shouldn't have to change who you are to meet someone. But if you have rare tastes, if you want a light salad in a world full of McRib eaters... what can you be expected to do? Maybe she thought I was one of the different ones. Because I never did any of the fun stuff. So maybe she thought I was boring by choice?

Second... I don't like thinking of my father as some kind of "slayer" but that's what my mom says he was. He doesn't look like a slayer. And all this talk of my parents in their courting days has left me disturbed. But I have to know how my dad did it. So when next I visit, I'm gonna have a talk with him about this. But I'm pretty sure he'll say the same thing: "You're too old for this now. I did this when I was in my 20s." But I think I'd like to know anyway. As if I were in my 20s. Because let's say I get another chance at this, by some miracle. I don't wanna blow it like I blew it with the girl on Tinder. There's little more painful than wasting your shot at a thing because you didn't know what you were doing or you were in the wrong place or it was the wrong time. So I need to ask the slayers how they slew, how they ended up in the situations they ended up in. How they gained the fame and reputation they got. I'll start with my dad.
 
Tony

Tony

Head of Doctors
Joined
Aug 11, 2018
Messages
6,129
[Story] Year Of The Pig
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"On My Own" or "The Social Retard"

TL;DR:
DDoS attacks are over. @Master thinks they're the product of a newfound Incel Scare thanks to a documentary the CBC aired. I seem to remember the CBC having a hotline or something you could call, I wanna call it and complain about how one-sided the piece was. Talked to my dad about how to be a "slayer" like he was(?) and he wouldn't help me because he doesn't believe I'm ready. Work is boring, and it made me think about how having to work 40 hours or more per week keeps you from making real, natural friends with anyone that isn't your co-worker. I thought I'd ask r/socialskills how to do it, but they didn't have any answers for me. My social retardation made me think about the recent fire Bill Maher came under for complaining about millennials.


It's Groundhog Day. and Phil didn't see his shadow. That means the DDoS attacks will end early! So far I haven't noticed any.

@Master is pretty sure this was the result of some documentary on the CBC that re-stoked panic in the hearts of what could be dozens of viewers.

https://incels.is/threads/ddos-attacks-host-change-and-other-annoucements.104710/

Not long ago @Sergeant was helicopter dicking that one YouTube podcaster. And now this. And why? Because unlike with the podcaster, incels didn't actually get to speak for themselves. Which is bullshit. Even terrorists get to speak for themselves before people decide they're evil. Terrorists admit they are as evil as we believe they are. But with incels, we didn't even get a chance to explain ourselves with this CBC thing. Then again, it's CBC. In Canada. I'm not fussed about winning hearts in Canada. Then again, maybe it wouldn't hurt to give someone a phone call. Anybody know who I can call? I'd like to make this a phone call and not, say, an e-mail.

Reached out to my dad about how to be a slayer, per my mother's suggestion. But my dad wouldn't/couldn't really give me anything. He thinks I have Ass Burgers. And I'm not saying I don't, but he believes that because of my Ass Burgers, I have particular needs and the typical lifestyle isn't one that I can live. Maybe he's right. But I pressed him for advice anyway. Even with Ass Burgers I can follow instructions, can't I? I can be coached, can't I? Then he goes on to say that what I need to do is make sure my room is clean and my hygiene is up to snuff. This was always a big thing with him. As I said in this post, that was a thing with both of my parents. But it was especially a thing with my dad. He needed perfection. I explain to him "Dad, I keep my house clean and I wash myself. I really do." But he's like "But is it SPOTLESS? Is it IMMACULATE???" I can come back to him when I've perfected cleanliness. Apparently I can't slay like he did until I "make this a priority." So I'm on my own here, for now.

Running out of things to watch on Netflix. Yesterday I didn't even watch it. My work suffered immensely because I had nothing to break up the monotony of the tests. I hope all my bosses choke on it. This is what they reap. But in the still of boredom at work, I realized something: How am I supposed to have friends when I have a job?

You've probably seen this tired "meme" before, about Jesus having 12 close friends despite being over 30?


I was thinking about that, and I think the reason older people don't have close friends is because, as I keep saying, the social environments and the communities that are conducive to that kind of thing are gone. It's less to do with 30 year olds being boring, and more to do with how 30 year olds don't have the freedom to have close friends. Because they have families now. Or at the very least, they have to go to work. When you were in school, you went to class with your friends. When class went out, you went to lunch with your friends. Or hung out in the dorms with your friends. Or went clubbing with your friends. You spent enough time per day/week with these people to facilitate a bond. But with work, unless you're friends with your co-workers (and for some people that's an option), you cannot see anyone frequently enough to be that close to them. You have the weekend, and that's it. And if you only know someone as a weekend appointment, not only is that not enough time to form the kinds of bonds you formed back in school, but the routine of it all precludes you from being a friend. You're an "appointment." You're a break or a vacation from "real life." Not a friend. Even in school, if you only see people Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 3:00 that can be seen as a "break." A friend is someone you try and contact as often as possible. You go out to places with friends. You hang out at home with friends. You just do stuff. But there's no time to "do stuff" when you have a job taking up the bulk of your week. That's why so many people on Tinder forewarn that, because of their jobs, they probably won't be able to chat very often.

I'm not the only person in the world with a job though, so I figured "Other people MUST have friends. People who aren't in school. How do they manage to do it despite having to go to work?" I decided to hit up r/socialskills and ask. And I got no responses.


I don't know how to have sex, I don't know how I'm gonna support a friendship because I don't know how I can afford to see anyone frequently enough that isn't a co-worker... and no one will help me. :feelsbadman:

Arrested development isn't just for incels though. There's a lot of this goin' on. You're telling me soy men aren't just as socially retarded as incels? That's why, nowadays, there's this term thrown around: "Adulting." A term used by legal adults to describe things they as adults should know how to do, but don't. Or hate doing. Bill Maher recently came under some millennial ire for complaining about this in a piece he wrote about how comics are for children and the fact that comic book movies are such a booming industry right now is a sign that the country is infantilized. Now, I disagree with Bill Maher on just about every other issue. In fact I think I don't like him very much. But he's right on the money with this. And I can say that as a social retard myself. Yeah the point about comic books maybe doesn't hold much water. And that's a hard maybe. But his larger point was that this current generation is afraid to grow up. Or unable to grow up. And people shouted back "Well why should we? Who decided what the rules for adulthood were?" And the reason we should is, ideally, age gives us maturity. Where we start to want more sophisticated things. If not NEED more sophisticated things. You should grow to the point where Dora The Explorer isn't "enough" for you anymore. Where childish things aren't "enough" and you need something with more substance. So if you like comics and 2D, sure, whatever, like what you want. But if the basis of why you like it is "It's not like that boring grown-up stuff that's hard and makes me sad" then you're in the same retard boat that I'm in. Clinging to youth because I'm literally unprepared for adulthood right now. Shirking the things I should be capable of handling. The things I should want more than childish things because childish things are shallow and unsubstantial in the eyes and hearts of healthy grown-ups.

On the other hand, Bill Maher is an unabashed poe-theed who casually fucks black Barbies half his age. Is that mature? I don't know. Sex and drugs are for adults, I like to think. But the point is, be mature. Maybe those things don't make Bill Maher immature. Maybe comics don't make you immature. But the point Bill Maher means to make is, healthy adults shouldn't knowingly and purposefully cling to youth out of fear or rejection of maturity. And I shouldn't. But I do anyway. But at least I admit that I'm a social retard.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Pure and Chaste" or "What Incels Get Up To On The Weekend"

TL;DR:
Another Saturday LDARing (Lying Down and Relaxing). I ponder whether it's worth doing this every Saturday night or if I should break routine in pursuit of sex. There's an app called Pure, if I found women on Pure who wanted to have sex, would I skip Pran Funkels to go have sex with this woman? I don't think I would. But if I were invited to a party like @Deltoid, I probably would. I need people like @Deltoid to tell me how it is they do the things they do.

Waiting for Pran Funkels to start...


As I wait, I wonder, would I give up this nightly treat if it meant sex? Guaranteed sex? I imagine if someone called me and begged me to show up at a party or something, yeah I would. But I recently learned about this new app called "Pure."

https://en.pure.dating/

https://pure.sex/en/onboarding

I haven't signed up yet because I understand it costs money. But what I hear is, you upload a picture put out a request to fuck, just like all the porn ads say to do. And you're provided a map of people in your area who have also put out requests. You can respond to those requests and if they respond to you too, it's a match, a la Tinder. But the request only stays up for an hour. These are meant to be quick, no-string-attached, first come first served get it while it's hot arrangements. You can put up another request if your first request didn't get any matches though.

So if I was on Pure and got a match asking me to come over within the hour, would I skip the show tonight? I hear around nighttime people's hormones start to act up and they're more inclined to hook up. "Bratty Slut" tended to message me at night, back when we were still matched. So maybe around nighttime I would find some hot local single in my area. But as people tell me in this thread, unless this app is the exception to every other "Meet and fuck" service in the history of the Internet, this place is probably 95% men. If women wanna fuck, they won't pay to do it. How many male brothels do you know of? The demand doesn't exist in equal measure. But no, I protest! I need to hear actual testimonial from people! And this is the kind of testimonial I get.



There's not much being said about Pure because it's new-ish. But based on what little is being said, I can assume the prospects are comparable to Craigslist hookups. And the prospects on Craigslist were never good. I'm talking the dregs of society. And what few women were on Craigslist had demands that I can't meet anyway. AND... it's taking patrons about 100 miles of searching to find people, and I can't make it out there at night reliably. So I think no, I wouldn't break my nightly routine for Pure pussy. I probably wouldn't break a lazy Sunday for Pure pussy. Does that make me volcel?

Then again, something's probably gotta give at some point. And I'm sick of finding hot girls on Tinder, only to be lead to their Instagrams where they say things like "God over everything" and I'm like, damn it, I can see your pussy through your shorts and you shortdick me with "Teehee, I like to pretend I'm a fundamentalist Christian?" For that frustration, I could probably work myself up to fucking a Craigslist woman. If a prostitute can fuck an incel, I can fuck a less-than-ideal woman.

I need some kind of social circle. So I can make friends who will invite me to parties where sex will happen. Then I'll break my Saturday. If only I could fit in with the college kids. That's where I wanna be. Those are the parties I wanna go to. @Deltoid is going to a party because of the social circle he belongs to. He knows a girl, he's fucking her, he knows her friend, and he'll probably fuck her too. I wanna know how that happens. What social circle does he belong to? Is he in school? I await his response to my question. He and I have some things to talk about. If I had his life, would I break my Saturday? I think I would. Man, how does he find the time to fuck and go to parties if he has to also go to work though?
 
Deltoid

Deltoid

Knowledgable
Joined
Oct 16, 2018
Messages
653
"Pure and Chaste" or "What Incels Get Up To On The Weekend"

TL;DR: Another Saturday LDARing (Lying Down and Relaxing). I ponder whether it's worth doing this every Saturday night or if I should break routine in pursuit of sex. There's an app called Pure, if I found women on Pure who wanted to have sex, would I skip Pran Funkels to go have sex with this woman? I don't think I would. But if I were invited to a party like @Deltoid, I probably would. I need people like @Deltoid to tell me how it is they do the things they do.

Waiting for Pran Funkels to start...


As I wait, I wonder, would I give up this nightly treat if it meant sex? Guaranteed sex? I imagine if someone called me and begged me to show up at a party or something, yeah I would. But I recently learned about this new app called "Pure."

https://en.pure.dating/

https://pure.sex/en/onboarding

I haven't signed up yet because I understand it costs money. But what I hear is, you upload a picture put out a request to fuck, just like all the porn ads say to do. And you're provided a map of people in your area who have also put out requests. You can respond to those requests and if they respond to you too, it's a match, a la Tinder. But the request only stays up for an hour. These are meant to be quick, no-string-attached, first come first served get it while it's hot arrangements. You can put up another request if your first request didn't get any matches though.

So if I was on Pure and got a match asking me to come over within the hour, would I skip the show tonight? I hear around nighttime people's hormones start to act up and they're more inclined to hook up. "Bratty Slut" tended to message me at night, back when we were still matched. So maybe around nighttime I would find some hot local single in my area. But as people tell me in this thread, unless this app is the exception to every other "Meet and fuck" service in the history of the Internet, this place is probably 95% men. If women wanna fuck, they won't pay to do it. How many male brothels do you know of? The demand doesn't exist in equal measure. But no, I protest! I need to hear actual testimonial from people! And this is the kind of testimonial I get.



There's not much being said about Pure because it's new-ish. But based on what little is being said, I can assume the prospects are comparable to Craigslist hookups. And the prospects on Craigslist were never good. I'm talking the dregs of society. And what few women were on Craigslist had demands that I can't meet anyway. AND... it's taking patrons about 100 miles of searching to find people, and I can't make it out there at night reliably. So I think no, I wouldn't break my nightly routine for Pure pussy. I probably wouldn't break a lazy Sunday for Pure pussy. Does that make me volcel?

Then again, something's probably gotta give at some point. And I'm sick of finding hot girls on Tinder, only to be lead to their Instagrams where they say things like "God over everything" and I'm like, damn it, I can see your pussy through your shorts and you shortdick me with "Teehee, I like to pretend I'm a fundamentalist Christian?" For that frustration, I could probably work myself up to fucking a Craigslist woman. If a prostitute can fuck an incel, I can fuck a less-than-ideal woman.

I need some kind of social circle. So I can make friends who will invite me to parties where sex will happen. Then I'll break my Saturday. If only I could fit in with the college kids. That's where I wanna be. Those are the parties I wanna go to. @Deltoid is going to a party because of the social circle he belongs to. He knows a girl, he's fucking her, he knows her friend, and he'll probably fuck her too. I wanna know how that happens. What social circle does he belong to? Is he in school? I await his response to my question. He and I have some things to talk about. If I had his life, would I break my Saturday? I think I would. Man, how does he find the time to fuck and go to parties if he has to also go to work though?
What is this thread even?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Where the Wild Things Are" or "XXX Marks the Spot 2: Dead Manlet's Chance"

TL;DR:
I've been thinking about moving to a more exciting location to cure my locationceldom. I'm gonna check Instagrams and other aggregates where people submit pictures of themselves having fun and showing skin, and count which places are tagged the most. Even if I have to go through the many thousands of them manually.




Watching Super Bowl LIII. It's warmed up considerably where I am so I have to wonder how hot it is in Atlanta. The city is probably very exciting right now. Packed with tourists. I like a busy city.

I've been giving thought again about moving. Like I said in this post. I see all these pictures of beautiful people and debauchery and degeneracy, and I ask myself "Where is this happening, and how do I get in on this?" Problem is, it's tough finding out where these pictures are taken. I can't always have it as easy as that Georgia Southern University video, which is back up by the way. Not every picture or video on the Internet is tagged with "Here's where this was taken and here's the story behind it." Like State Snaps. All of their pictures are anonymous, the bastards. And some pictures I can't even find anymore. Like the whipped cream picture.

But I think I may have settled on an idea that's close enough. There are some Instagram pages that do frequently tag the places where their submissions come from. Here's two. TheCollegeBabes, and TFMGirls (Courtesy of TotalFratMove).

https://www.instagram.com/thecollegebabes/

https://www.instagram.com/tfmgirls/

Cursory glance, it's not exactly blowjobs and beer bongs. Not exactly. Because Instagram won't allow that. But like State Snaps and College Rules and so on, they get their pictures and videos because people submit these pictures and videos. So my thinking is this: Whichever schools are featured the most on pages like these, that means their student bodies are more inclined towards things like that. Submitting lewd and lascivious pictures to fap aggregates for the masturbatory enjoyment of people like me. Booty pics alone are nice. But whichever school is sending the most booty pics is probably the school that will also have the blowjobs and beer bongs.

There is a potential flaw in this thinking though: What if these pages aren't featuring every picture they get as a submission? For instance, let's say I go through all of the pictures on TFMGirls and find that most of them come from, I dunno, Florida. What if that's because TFMGirls simply prefers Floridians? Or pictures of girls in bikinis? As opposed to pictures of girls in lingerie? Maybe there's girls up north being disproportionately represented because they don't have beaches to take bikini pics at. They're just as ready for action as the Floridian girls, they just don't own any bikinis or have any beaches to visit. But I have a potential fix for that. I just need to check a variety of fap aggregates. I have two so far, but if I can get information from a variety of aggregates with a variety of tastes, I'll cover every bias and, hopefully, have ever version of hot woman covered. And have a much more accurate representation of who's submitting the most pictures.

But then there's the fact that both of these Instagrams have pictures numbering in the thousands. And they add more pictures every day. Am I really gonna go through all those thousands of pictures? Well, first I'd like to see if there's a third party tool or service that can help me with that. There's all sorts, like Deskgram, Pikdo, Inkphy... the Instagram API is public knowledge for developers, I understand. So I hope to maybe find one that can take all of these thousands of pictures and maybe group them by the places they're tagged in? Put all of the Vanderbilt University pictures in one group, counted. All of the North Carolina State University pictures in another group, counted.

I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I asked r/Instagram.


No answers yet. A repeating pattern. But even if I get no answers, I'm prepared to just brute force this. Maybe this will be the defining labor of my 2019. Figuring out where I should live in 2020. If I do 100 pictures a day, considering the rate of growth for those two Instagrams, I could easily finish by the end of the year. And I'd have room to check other Instagrams too! All it takes is dedication. I'll use this thread to track my progress. I'll start each day counting the new posts, and then steadily trudge through the old posts.

And if anyone knows any other aggregates, please pass them my way. They don't even have to be Instagram. Maybe I'll give College Rules a try. They try to keep it anonymous, but College Rules is pretty bad at it.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"What Have I Been Doing With My Life?" or "A Week Is No Break At All"

TL;DR:
I've been caught up for a whole month, I was distracted by Instagram. But from my distraction a new idea emerged: Instead of scouting for the best college where I can meet women that will have sex with me, why not scout for the best Spring Break location and just live there? So instead of sticking to one college, I can have samplers of many? The best Spring Break location used to be Panama City Beach, but ever since 2015 it's been lost to us. And the hunt has been on for its replacement. I'm following the search. Could South Padre Island be the new den of iniquity?

Being this distracted makes me think "Well I would post today, but I have no thoughts other than the little progress I've made scouting Instagram." But what's worth of reporting? What do other journals talk about? I decided to look into a month long vlog to see what was worth reporting. I checked the January vlog of Jeremy Jahns. And it was all just him making small talk while he did things like drink coffee and tend to his dogs. So I decided to go that route. I talk about how I've recently started buying broccoli, how Tinder has suddenly dried up for me, how no one at my job has heard of Newgrounds, how some guy named Kyle who used to work at this restaurant for 3 years is more appreciated by his ex-coworkers than I am at my job for having worked there 10-12 years, how I made nice with this woman named Stacy but got mogged and lost her, and how my parents want me to stay away from drug and drink, and see a life coach. But even so, following in the vlogsteps of Jeremy Jahns doesn't seem to be the way to go for the written word. I wonder what it is that the written word demands? That makes it so it doesn't have the freedoms to be laid back and mundane like a vlog?


I've fallen way behind in posts. Ever since I started chasing sources for amateur spank, I've disappeared into a hole. Coming up with a scheme to crunch and sort the sheer amount of information. Coping with what a letdown it is when I can't find the source of a picture or video. I was gonna post the counts in this thread, but I've barely even started counting. I keep finding new 'grams and adding to my workload.

Not to mention, I've been diversifying outside of following Instagram after Instagram. In my quest to pinpoint where the top spot or spots are, I've given some thought to Spring Break. Valentine's Day passed me by, big incel holiday I know, but I'm not interested in that. I'm looking to, as my mother puts it, "sow some wild oats." It'll be on very soon for pretty much every college. Unless you happen to go to...


College of Saint Rose, Nassau Community College, Oakland University, St. Johns University (in Queens, NY), SUNY Upstate Medical University, Washington and Lee University, Washtenaw Community College, Augustana College, Cabrini College, Concordia in Moorhead, Davenport University, and basically Alma College...

...then Spring Break is already over for you. But for most colleges it's some time in March. When actual spring is. And I entertained a thought. Instead of going to one single college that might have the best party chicks, why not simply go to where ALL the party chicks who are any party chicks will be going? Instead of sticking to one college, live in a Spring Break hotspot and party with all of the colleges worth partying with. From as far back as early February, stretching through to late April, if I pick the right spot I could bear witness to what frat brothers call a real "shit show."

But where's the shit show? Where's the wildest, most ratchet Spring Break spot available? You probably heard that Panama City Beach is that place. "Sloots at maximum power" they say. Or at least they used to say. As it tends to happen with all things really really fun, the fun got out of hand. Around 2015 there was a handful of violent assaults that people are blaming the Spring Break social environment on. Don't quote me on the specifics. The mayor, José Isabel Blandón Figueroa, took that as the wake-up call. And he pushed for legislation geared deliberately towards cleaning up Panama City's act, making it a family place with lots to do. Now when anyone asks about tripping out to Panama City, they get all these warnings about how the No Fun Police are patrolling their beats with extreme prejudice. Checking coolers. Checking IDs. Checking everything to make sure everything's on the straight and narrow. The idea isn't just to keep things "safe," it's to keep things "tame." Keep Panama City the kind of place you'd take your kids.

So now the scramble is on for the next great Spring Break destination that strikes the right blend of "free" and "popular." I go into a little detail about this on r/Frat.


Or at least I thought it was a "little" detail. Majority response over there is "Whoa, why'd you write a whole thesis, that's too many words!" And I dig it. I dig the "Don't be such a blowhard" ethic. These are the people I need to be hanging with. But unfortunately, these people don't have very many answers either. Best consensus I could find, the new spot is South Padre Island. But it just hasn't built up the reputation other spots have yet. Back when Girls Gone Wild used to play their late night ads, when they talked about their Spring Break DVDs, they were usually talking about Florida. Or Mardi Gras, but that's not Spring Break. South Padre Island, that's kinda new to the scene. It's this new generation of quasi-legal amateur smut like Do It For State that are making use of South Padre Island. Perhaps someday it'll build up a reputation. Maybe by the time I'm actually able to go and make plans for living out there. They've got apartments within pissing distance of the very island going for around only $500. But how many people, today, even know Padre Island exists? Hence the low, low prices for rent out there?

If you want my opinion on what made the Panama City Beach formula so perfect for what it was? It wasn't just the freedom, and it wasn't just the notoriety. It was the location. Florida was where the rowdy trailer trash was. And maybe still is. That's why Floribama Shore exists. That demographic of person is in strong concentration down there. Texas is close, but not that close.

"Research" like this has taken up my life, more or less, and it doesn't come with daily breakthroughs. So every night I skipped making a post, I did wonder "If I was to make a post today, what would I say?" What "substance" goes in a daily journal? I thought I would see what other daily journals were about. I guess nowadays that's called "vlogging." And it just so happened that, in my Recommendeds, there appeared this vlog for January by thing-reviewer Jeremy Jahns.


I'm not a fan. He's notoriously tolerant of Amy "I Can Laugh At Me But You Can't Laugh At Me" Schumer. But it was right there and I didn't know where else to start when finding a vlog example. A January in the life of Jeremy Jahns. What are you supposed to talk about over a month? I checked off each day...


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Tuesday, January 1st: He started the vlog. Showed off his robe and one of his dogs because they happened to be in the shot. Then we saw him at his green screen, getting ready to make his "Top 10 Most Anticipated Movies Of 2019" video. Him talking about making videos, that's basically him talking about work, because making videos is his job. Or at least it can be called a dedicated hobby.

Wednesday, January 2nd: Has a headache. He talks about the comments in the video he made yesterday.

Thursday, January 3rd: Watched Breaking Bad on Netflix.

Friday, January 4th: Dog licks hand. Makes coffee with coffeemaker he got for Christmas. Christmas decorations are all still up. He reveals that today he'll be helping his mother move furniture at her house.

After moving furniture, he reveals that he was invited by WB Games to some kind of Mortal Kombat 11 event in Los Angeles. So he's at Best Buy now, looking for a camera to film gameplay with. This Mortal Kombat 11 Event thing is kind of a "story arc" in this January vlog. While at Best Buy he also shops around for other things like Blu-Rays.

Saturday, January 5th: Gave dogs (Gipsy & Danger) a dog treat dispenser toy. Watched them played with that. Then he showed off how his girlfriend (Vanessa) failed at organizing his kitchen. Then he showed off how he organizes his records.

Sunday, January 6th: There was a power outage in the middle of watching TV at night, and Gipsy is scared.

Monday, January 7th: Mortal Kombat Event Arc: He buys a camera from Amazon. Tests it out on his dogs. Might return it because he could potentially go cheaper if all he needs it for is to play one game.

Tuesday, January 8th: Watches whatever this is.

26696

A new Captain Marvel trailer was released, he considered doing a video on it, but he opted to play the original Legend Of Zelda instead. Then watched Smallville. Then listened to Castlevania music.

Fur is all over his carpet and it may be Danger's fault. Suddenly it dawns on him, there may be a continuity error in the Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline, as evidenced by the new trailer. So now he definitely does have to make a video for it.

Wednesday, January 9th: Christmas garland is still up, stockings are still hung by the chimney. He talks about the Captain Marvel movie he made yesterday and the comments on it. Also for anyone waiting on him to do a Glass review, he can't watch it yet, as of January 9th.

Sitting in Seattle traffic on the way to watch The Upside. When he gets there, he meets Chris and Joel from "U-Dub," University of Washington. They happened to recognize him from YouTube and decided to sit with him during the movie. Afterward out in the lobby he asks them what they thought of the movie and thanks them for not talking during.

Mortal Kombat Event Arc: Returned the first camera and got another camera for the Mortal Kombat event. It came with bright lights. Then showed off Gipsy.

Finally, before bed, he did more work stuff. Some last minute editing for videos..

Thursday, January 10th: Jeremy realized that the Lorule Castle theme from Zelda: A Link Between Worlds theme syncs up with the "Step In Time" dance number from Mary Poppins, and he's gonna try and sync it up. If it works, he'll do a throwaway post of it on Instagram or something.

Later he was found lying on his bed, bracing himself to watch Replicas. After Replicas, he got dressed to do a review of it because he wanted to wear a different outfit from the last outfit he wore for a video.

The smoke alarm went off, and it scared Gipsy.

Friday, January 11th: Dogs are at play. They vacuumed up the fur that Danger might've left. Danger brings Jeremy the chewy fetch rope to play fetch with. Jeremy shows off his Harry Potter pajama pants.

Jeremy and Vanessa go to IKEA to shop for things. Jeremy doesn't know what they're here for, but Vanessa brought a list. Ran into Johnathan who helped them pick out bookshelves.

Hanging out towards the end of the day with Gipsy and Danger, toys are spread out, fetch is played. Alexa is asked to play music to calm the dogs, and it works.

Saturday, January 12th: Jeremy has allergies.

Also, it's "date night" for him and Vanessa.

Sunday, January 13th: Morning after "date night" meat for breakfast. Mentions how Vanessa is a vegan.

Jeremy and Vanessa start a 1000-piece puzzle. They spread it out on their new table from IKEA. Jeremy stresses the mundaness of his life. They brew coffee and continue puzzling well into the night. But they couldn't. So they paused. This is the "Puzzle Arc."

Monday, January 14th: Making coffee and playing Fire Emblem 7. Later that day he receives a Michael Myers mask and a Halloween 2018 Blu-Ray from Universal. And the issue of "Rule of Reciprocation" occurred to him. He talks about it.

Later that day he replaced the microSD card in his Framemeister.

Tuesday, January 15th: Mortal Kombat Event Arc: Busy day. Jeremy has to go watch Glass, make a review for it, and drop his dogs off at his mom's house because he has to be ready to fly out to Mortal Kombat bright and early in the morning. But he was surprised by the release of a Spider-Man: Far From Home trailer. So he has to rearrange his schedule.

  1. Make Far From Home video
  2. Take Gipsy & Danger to his mom's house
  3. Go watch Glass
  4. Make Glass review video
  5. Get rest for the flight tomorrow
Making the Far From Home video took too long and now he has to go see Glass before they run out of showings. He'll have to move taking his dogs to his mom's house up in the schedule.

Took his dogs to his mom's house and he is very tired. 11:18 PM is late.

Wednesday, January 16th: Mortal Kombat Event Arc: Tuesday still isn't over. He stayed up into the night until 4:09 AM to make the Glass video.

Went to Sea-Tac Airport to fly to Mortal Kombat. Ate food at the in-airport Floret. Then he hade it to Los Angeles and was put up in a hotel called "The LINE Los Angeles." Points out how the whole place looks like a parking garage perhaps as an artistic choice. Wi-Fi also doesn't work here for his laptop. Found Angry Joe and decided to hang out. They laugh at the art made out of concrete and junk.

Thursday, January 17th: Mortal Kombat Event Arc: Going to play Mortal Kombat in the convention area. A John Wick 3 trailer released, but he doesn't think he's gonna be able to make a video on it immediately.

Jeremy runs into Angry Joe again, and Boogie2988. They get drinking bands at the Mortal Kombat event. Jeremy points out how exciting the Mortal Kombat event was compared to the majority of his life. Jeremy films a "rage cage," then he and Angry Joe decide to shop for retro games while they're both in Los Angeles. Before they go, Jeremy has a Diet Coke and someone else with a Diet Coke confuses Jeremy's Diet Coke for his Diet Coke.

Based on the surroundings, I'm guessing the first store they went to was A & M Video Games, a used game store that used to be called "Max Games." They said it was bad, and Uber'd elsewhere.

Jeremy and Angry Joe also tried to work on the audio for their Mortal Kombat gameplay video but they couldn't fix the audio.

Friday, January 18th: Mortal Kombat Event Arc: Had to be in the lobby at 7:15 AM, packed and ready to go home. But he only just woke up at 7:00 AM. Fortunately, he was already packed so it was just a mad dash with all of his things to catch his ride back home.

When he gets home, he checks his e-mail and he's got a "reminder" from WB Games about an "obligation" he's got to fulfill. They had some kind of Mortal Kombat photo booth or something there where you could take Mortal Kombatty pictures and post them to social media. Jeremy did that. But because he did that, WB Games sent him a reminder saying "Hey, for us letting you come to the thing you should hashtag that letting people know it was sponsored by Warner Bros." This hearkens back to the "Rule of Reciprocation" thing he was talking about on the 14th. He was torn because they were gracious enough to sponsor him and pay for his stay in a concrete box, but he laments how corporate things have become.

Starts rendering his Mortal Kombat video. It'll take 11 hours by his Amazon Echo's count. When he says this, the Echo mistakes that for a command and starts talking. Jeremy berates the Echo, then he follows up by taking it back with a compliment, calling "Alexa" beautiful. Alexa responds by saying Jeremy is beautiful, and starts singing "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. Vanessa gets jealous.

Because of the length of the rendering/exporting, Jeremy will have to text Angry Joe.

Jeremy stays up into the night waiting for the video to go from camera to YouTube.

Saturday, January 19th: The video is finally done uploading.

Sunday, January 20th: Puzzle Arc: It's been a week, time for Jeremy and Vanessa to return to the 1000-piece puzzle. They finish it.

Monday, January 21st: N/A

Tuesday, January 22nd: Going to pick up his dad so that they can secretly install his mom's chandelier as a surprise to her. Went to Fred Meyer to pick up a bolt for the chandelier, as well as something from the deli for Jeremy to eat.

Wednesday, January 23rd: N/A

Thursday, January 24th: Went on eBay and bid on "Contra III: The Alien Wars" before bed.

Friday, January 25th: Woke up the next morning to see that he won the bid. Then watched Punisher.

Later, he and Vanessa went to see somebody named "Small Town Murder" perform in Seattle. Changed his hat from Daredevil to Punisher because Punisher, at the time, was the one of those two shows that wasn't cancelled.

Saturday, January 26th: Jeremy's unpacked what looks like exercise equipment. One of the dogs made a mess.

Sunday, January 27th: Pre-ordered the Resident Evil 2 remake with special edition steelbook case.

Monday, January 28th: N/A

Tuesday, January 29th: N/A

Wednesday, January 30th: Goes to meet his friend Nathan for sushi.

Later he edits his Resident Evil 2 video while watching House.

Thursday, January 31st: His Resident Evil 2 video went live, he talks about it.

End of vlog for January. Might get his teeth fixed in 2019. Content for a future vlog?


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His entire vlog consisted of him talking about work, shows he watched, games he played, music he listened to, taking care of his dogs, picking up things from the store, doing errands for his parents, catching up with friends, a trip to Los Angeles, a puzzle, and a look around his house. Am I missing anything? When I'm wondering what I should put in my daily posts, it's stuff like this? In that case...


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I've recently been shopping for broccoli. I saw some threads around here talking about sulforaphane.



There's not many points I can add to my Sexual Market Value, but this stuff about hair loss prevention/hair restoration sounds at least interesting enough to see. Ideally I'd like to be eating broccoli sprouts, but I crunched the numbers and broccoli florets alone should give me a dosage I'm happy with. Stove is still broken, by the way.

Tinder has dried up for Anselm the Incelfish. Haven't had a new match since February 10th. I suspect that I'm shadowbanned or something because the drop off was just about instant.

I was curious at work: Let's say it's 2003/2004 and you wanna watch a video. Where do you go to watch it? This was pre-YouTube. Anybody remember how the Internet was pre-YouTube? This is something I'd ask a friend, or a bunch of people on an Internet forum. So I decided that, because I have no friends in person, I would ask my co-workers. I don't know if it had anything to do with the demographics of where I work, but full disclosure, most of my co-workers are older women. Groups from lagerst to smallest: Older women, younger women, young men, and then there's me. Not many men close to my age.

Answers I got...

  1. Order something from Blockbuster (Wrong answer, I'm not talking about movies, I mean videos. Clips. Like on YouTube.)
  2. MySpace
  3. Just watch TV
  4. eBaum's World
There was a variety of answers from everyone, but the young men tended to say eBaum's World, and the older/younger women tended to say everything else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying no young men said MySpace, but I'm saying more men said "eBaum's World" while also NOT saying "MySpace/Blockbuster/watching TV." And vice verse for the women. I think what I should ask now is "What's so unappealing to women about eBaum's World/what's so appealing to women about MySpace?" But instead what I asked is "How have none of these people heard of Newgrounds? Albino Black Sheep? TX Mafia? AboveUltimate? 1-Up Island? Dungeon Studios? The Kombat Pavilion?" I'm just listing off my old Internet history at this point but my point is I really thought at least some of those sites were pretty heavily trafficked in the pre-YouTube days. I think what that did was helped to illustrate why I'm different from happy and successful people. I was busy watching Newgrounds back then, and all my happy and successful co-workers were on eBaum's World and MySpace. Did none of them watch sprite Flashes? If so, that's probably what killed me. They were watching The Simple Life, I was watching Mario and Sonic fight each other.

I was heading home from work and I passed by this local restaurant. It's got this mom and pop feel to it, kinda. A real cheesy, folksy air. And the sign outside was wishing someone named Kyle goodbye and good luck. I hate sentimental goodbyes, they really get me. They're supposed to get me, but I don't like it. Anyway, I walk in and I ask how long Kyle's been working for them. They say 3 years. And I'm like "3 years???" They're gonna miss him after only 3 years? I've been working where I work for 10-12 years and if I handed in my 2 weeks notice, I don't think they'd put a sign up for me. I was thinking "Kyle" was some fresh faced young man who'd been with the restaurant since he was a boy and was finally becoming a man, but no, this is just the normal length for a job before you quit and find something better. They're rolling out the red carpet for only 3 years of service, am I wrong or is my job wrong? Is 3 years actually a lot?

Speaking of going to and from work, recent changes in workload have made it so I have to catch public transit to work. And over the past month I've been interacting with this woman on the bus. Her name is Stacy. We get off at the same stop. And eventually, because we get off at the same stop and she likes to take a nap on the bus, she's asked if I'll wake her up when we get off. So I do. Eventually we grow close enough that I can bitch to her about my job. And she's all "Oh you need to give them a piece and yadda yadda yadda, you need somebody to go in there and defend you!" She even volunteers. She talks to me about her video game hobby. I ask her what games she likes. She only mentions Call of Duty. Hmmm. :trepidation: I tell her I could maybe be interested in this video games thing. She suggests I come over someday. And it really feels like this is about to happen. I suggest Sunday.

But she says she has to work Sunday. Her only free days are Friday and Saturday. I work Fridays. And Saturdays... that's my Pran Funkels night. So I leave it at "We're gonna have to do it one of these Saturdays then." I really start considering maybe skipping a night. This is an actual woman we're talking about here.

But then one day she gets on the bus. We say good morning. But she doesn't sit near me. Strange. She usually sits near me and we start talking. She's even skipped her naps so we can talk. But she heads far away from me. "I must've turned her off by not being available that Saturday" I think. But then I notice, she's not sitting alone. She's sitting with a new guy. Younger, taller, more masculine. And there it was. I'd been mogged. Truly mogged. In the wild. People say "mogged" like "A more attractive guy was probably maybe drawing attention away from me that I should've gotten" but I was truly mogged. She truly gave up on me and started hanging out with this other guy. And I don't think being available on Saturdays would've saved me. And the cognitive dissonance sets in. Maybe it would've been easier on me to just keep my Saturday night routine intact. I... I don't even like Call of Duty. :feelsbadman:

My mother wants me to see a life coach. Anybody got any experience with those? I tell her I don't think life coaching can do me much good, what my problem is is I don't have the right environment to do the things I wanna do. Also, I'm 46. My best life at this point is too mediocre to bother. But I love my Mom, so I figure I owe her the attempt at least. But what am I getting into? I told her how I wanna live like the guys pouring... milk? On that woman's ass in the GIF I posted up there. And she and my dad tell me that a life of substance abuse is not for me. I should not touch drink, vices run in my family. I'm genetically predisposed to irresponsible drinking. I don't wanna let Mom and Dad down. But it sounds like I'd be a lot of fun at parties, apparently.


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But y'know what? I think there's a difference between vlogs and written logs that happen to be on the web, if there's a name for things like that. And that difference lets vloggers vlog about mundane things while the written word needs a little more substance. The appeal of vlogs is watching a real life, no matter how mundane, play out. To just see people live in moments. People like to watch other people, say, go to Starbucks. But the written word doesn't have that. You can't actually watch me go to Starbucks through the written word. Watching it is interesting. But me writing "So I went to Starbucks," for some reason you need more. Now, if I said "So I went to Starbucks and then my kid exposed me to everyone in the dining room," for some reason that's something. For some reason that serves the purpose of the written vlog whereas just watching someone go to Starbucks, even without surprise nudity, serves the purposes of the regular vlog. But why? If vlogs are about watching someone's life, what are word-vlogs about? My guess is... discussion? If you're gonna talk about the coffee you had, you have to talk about how it made you feel, and what it made you think. You gotta have something important to say about the coffee. You gotta have something important to say about how you felt when you were exposed to everyone at that Starbucks.

What this vlog could've been, if I was a salvageable cause, was the chronicled progress of me improving myself and eventually getting laid, maybe. It could've been a journey towards some goal. But a journey towards some goal doesn't necessarily involve me sharing my thoughts either. I could say "Broke my plateau with the overhead presses, gonna try 50 pound dumbbells next week" and that would be a valid journal entry, I think. No discussion or reflection necessary. So if that's a valid written vlog entry, despite it not coming with any discussion or reflection, what is the demand of the written vlog?

I'll tell you this much though. Even if my written vlog can't be like other people's vlog vlogs, vlogs like Jeremy's serve as a good benchmark/metric for how active my own life should be, whether I make a journal of it or not. Between work and watching things and/or playing video games and/or listening to music, I should be called out now and then to do things for my parents or meet friends for sushi. If I can achieve that much, I can say that my life isn't abnormal.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Ponce de León" or "XXX Marks the Spot 3: At Rope's End"

TL;DR:
I don't think South Padre Island can be called "peak Panama City Beach's equal." Everything I read keeps talking about how great PCB was and how nothing today really compares. They come close, but it's not as extreme as PCB was. I'd like to believe someday the PCB equivalent will come. I'd like to know what the PCB equivalent should have before it can call itself the PCB equivalent. Some people might think Las Vegas is a PCB equivalent, but it isn't. And I explain why.

I haven't been swiping on Tinder, and now they're sending me messages trying to get me to start swiping again. "Hey, people in your area are suddenly swiping a lot! Go see what the fuss is about!" or "What's the best revenge for getting ghosted? Having a great time with someone new! Swipe to learn more! ? " Droll. You're just so droll, Tinder. But I'm not in the mood.

Why am I so down right now? I've been looking around for whatever the new "Panama City Beach" is. But I find myself surrounded by evidence that says "There is no 'new Panama City Beach.' There was no place like it, and there is still no place like it." Not even South Padre Island. South Padre might be close, might be as close as we have right now, but Panama City Beach, hereinafter referred to as "PCB," at the height of its power was unlike anything we have on Earth today. And the weight of this has got me mighty low. :feelsbadman:

What I'm looking for are articles and reviews and stuff that discuss Spring Break and what happened to PCB. Maybe they know enough about the Spring Break scene to tell me just what made PCB tick, what every other place lacks, and maybe if there's any hope that there might someday be another PCB. I happened upon this Tweet that lead me to this online magazine called COED.


There's a writer who goes by "Wyatt" or "NYCBass," but I think his actual name is Edward "Ned" Swain.


He wrote 6700+ articles/listicles for COED and its network of... I guess you could call them blogs? And he handled the annual countdown of the best Spring Break destinations. Sometimes it's "Top 20 Trashiest Spring Break Destinations" or something like that. It's varied now and then over the years, I think in 2014 he stepped aside to let COED Executive Editor "Bryjax11" do the list.

Now, when he says "Trashiest" he means it in a good way. These aren't meant to be lists of places to avoid. What he means to say here is "You're probably looking for the most ratchet debauchery for your buck, and these are the places." Ratchet debauchery is what I'm looking for too. And PCB regularly ranks toward the top. Incidentally though? It doesn't always rank at the EXACT top. That honor tends to go to Las Vegas. So you might be thinking "So there is a place like PCB. Las Vegas must surpass it, right?" I don't think so. Reading what he writes about PCB, what I believe is that in his opinion PCB was still the trashiest Spring Break locale and no place can rival it at what it did, it's just Las Vegas is trashy in "different" ways that, in some people's opinions, might surpass the trashiness of PCB. Las Vegas might be higher up on the list, but that doesn't mean it's trashy in a way that takes PCB's trash and turns it up to 11. It just means it's trashy in ways that PCB isn't trashy. It has a different style of trashy. Like making a list of "Most Lawless Places On Earth" and saying that the favelas of Rio and destabilized Middle Eastern regions are low on on the list while giving top spots to places like the middle of the ocean and "The Yellowstone Zone of Death" because technically they have no laws. Yeah, technically. That's a different kind of "lawless." When people say "lawless" they mean like Libya or the Gaza Strip or Detroit. And when people, people like me, say "Trashiest Spring Break Location" we mean like PCB.

All Las Vegas has over PCB is technicality, and I'll point out why I feel that way by showing you what this Wyatt guy has written. The 2015 list is a good place to start because that was the year they acknowledged the very technicality I was just talking about. How Las Vegas is trashy in a different, non-Spring Break way.


Finally, a solid amount of our listed Spring Break destinations are also popular amongst non-Spring Breakers. So in order to fairly set apart the real Spring Break hot spots, we asked ourselves the question, “Is Spring Break the only thing going on in this city?” If the answer is “Yes,” we award points. If the answer is “No,” we don’t – simple.
On this list, Las Vegas is ranked #2. Here's what they said about it.

The bottom line is that Las Vegas is trashy as f*ck. You know it. We know it. Everyone knows it–and that’s why everyone loves it. But despite the fact that Vegas is the single most popular Spring Break destination for students, it’s not only a Spring Break destination–it’s a place for bachelor parties, birthdays, weddings, and every other debaucherous event you can think of. So for that reason we couldn’t in good conscious list it as the #1 Trashiest Spring Break Destination for the fourth year in a row.

It’s time for someone else to wear to the crown…
First of all, that "Vegas is the single most popular Spring Break destination for students" line might sound nice, but what metric is that based on? If you searched "Most Popular Spring Break Destinations" you'd get a variety of lists with a variety of reports. And not all of them citing where they got their information. Here's one that does, from Insider. Top spot is Didney Worl, by the way. They got their information from Kayak.com searches booked between February 24 and April 21, 2018. Problem is, they have no way of knowing if all of those trips are students planning for Spring Break. Could be people my age who just happen to wanna travel around springtime and have no idea that their trip coincides with Spring Break. So to say Las Vegas is popular for Spring Break is disingenuous if "Trips booked by anyone that happen to coincide with Spring Break" is your metric. What I'm looking for are Spring Break destinations that are booked specifically for Spring Break.

Which brings us to what they said about PCB.

In all our years of partying and raging, never in our life have we seen the amount of ruckus PCB brought in one weekend. Whether or not you stay at the Holiday Inn–which is best known for their famous pool cam–you should know that no amount of college will prepare you for the debauchery that is PCB. The miles of beach are quickly turn a into mishmash of fraternities, sororities, and GDIs getting “crunk than a mug” during those few sweet weeks.

Keep in mind that only a small amount of the Spring Breakers are actually college students; a lot of the people you’ll see turning up are visitors or locals, which of course just adds to the trashiness. For extra bonus points that don’t count for anything (except against your driving record) make sure to rent a scooter from one of the numerous rental locations in the city. It’s easily one of the most dangerous things you’ll ever do in your life, especially after hours of sweaty day-drinking.
They do say that non-college students make up a big percentage of the crowd there, yes. But also note how they say "In all our years of partying and raging, never in our life have we seen the amount of ruckus PCB brought in one weekend." That's important. Whatever Las Vegas has, if this line is true, PCB has more "ruckus" than Las Vegas. And that's the kind of "trashy" that makes Spring Break. That's why it's at the top of this "Spring Break Locales That Are Specifically About Spring Break" list. PCB has the most ruckus, and Las Vegas does not. PCB has more ruckus than Las Vegas, that makes PCB the true Number One spot. Las Vegas basically "steals" it because what it lacks in ruckus, it makes up in gambling and prostitutes.

After 2015 of course PCB lost its mojo. And COED did too. Wyatt and Bryjax11 stopped posting and went onto, I assume, other things. One of the last listicles they did was "COED’s Best Spring Break Destinations: 2017 Edition."


They specifically veered away from ranking these by trashiness this time. My guess is they were heartbroken by the loss of PCB. But PCB is on this list, and I wanna cite what they said.

There was a time not so long ago when Panama City Beach was the trashiest and craziest spring break destination in the world, even going so far as to beat out places in Mexico and Jamaica. But after years and years of bad press and unfortunate accidents/fights/deaths/crimes, the city of Panama City Beach decided to try and put out the fire that they believed was destroying their city. First, they banned drinking on the beach during the weeks of spring break. Then they started cracking down seriously on people breaking these laws. They were successful, but not in the way that they had hoped.

Believe it or not, doing everything in their power to keep the hundreds of thousands of paying tourists and college students out of their city did have a negative effect. The beaches, once literally packed to the brim with spring breakers having a good time, are now comparatively empty. Sure, it’s still a hell of a place to party and dance and day drink, but when I say that it was once literally the definition of Sodom and Gomorrah, I am not kidding you. Until they make drinking on the beach legal again, there are other places you should go to enjoy spring break.
"The trashiest and craziest spring break destination in the world, even going so far as to beat out places in Mexico and Jamaica... it was once literally the definition of Sodom and Gomorrah." They don't use these words to describe Las Vegas. Even if Las Vegas is their top pick, why is it they don't use these words to describe Las Vegas? Because Las Vegas isn't as trashy and crazy as PCB. Not really. It earns it's spot on a technicality. PCB was Sodom and Gomorrah, and Las Vegas is not. Otherwise they would've said it was. They would describe Las Vegas as being as crazy or crazier than PCB, but they don't. And how could it? How could Las Vegas be any kind of Spring Break destination as we imagine a "Spring Break destination?" It doesn't even have any beaches! It doesn't have a Maniac Card! One of the hallmarks of the Spring Break scene!


It doesn't have a Maniac Card because Las Vegas isn't for Spring Break. Las Vegas is "businessman trashy." It’s a place for bachelor parties, birthdays, and weddings. It's not a place for the Spring Break I'm looking for. And if I could talk to Wyatt or Bryjax11, I bet they'd tell me "Yes, PCB is crazier than Las Vegas, but we put Las Vegas above it because more things are legal out there. It's got less ruckus by a mile, but you can see escorts."

Like I said, I wanna try and reach out to Spring Break experts like Wyatt or Bryjax11 and talk to them. And see if there's any hope somewhere for a new PCB. But Wyatt, AKA Ned Swain, doesn't work for COED anymore. He's @NeddieBumpo on Twitter, and last I heard he was selling houses for Brown Harris Stevens.


Kinda makes me sad to look at this picture. He doesn't look anything like his Gravatar. To think he was writing for COED as early as November 2017. I think I'm gonna have to talk to either him or Bryjax11. Or both. But I don't know what I expect to hear. Unless there's another PCB out there, PCB is gone. That's all they can tell me. They can't bring it back, best they can do is suggest the closest thing.

And so that's got me in kind of a crisis. I mean no hyperbole when I say missing PCB at its peak, for me, is like missing Woodstock. Woodstock was just a big party too, but it was important. It was a character-defining time for the people who were there, and PCB would've been that for me. And I feel like no matter what I do from now on, even if I ascend, I'll think "But imagine how good PCB would've felt. Don't you wish you knew what it was like?" All I can do at this point is hope, HOPE, that the PCB equivalent really is out there, or on the way soon.

Does anyone know who Ponce de León was? He, like me, was consumed by a quest. For The Fountain of Youth. Kinda like me. I'm basically questing for my youth. I want the youth I was supposed to have lived. And where was The Fountain of Youth, allegedly? In Florida. Just like my "Fountain of Youth" used to be. When Ponce got to the Fountain, and splashed around in the waters, and then went to the mirror to see if he changed, he saw that he hadn't. And a tear rolled down his cheek. He couldn't reclaim his youth. And that's what I think is out there for me at the PCB of the now. I'll go there, I'll try to have a pre-2015 Spring Break, and eventually I'll realize the futility of it all. I'll realize it's gone and that there'll never be another PCB.

@IntolerantSocialist says I'm an "ethnicoper." I don't know what that is. But it ain't wrong to say that coping is what FrothySolutions does best. And so the sliver of hope I hold onto is that, from Wyatt or Bryjax11 I can at least learn what the recipe is for a PCB, and I can at least understand why other places aren't like PCB. I'll try and give 'em both a call tomorrow.
 
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IntolerantSocialist

IntolerantSocialist

Nazbol Blackpilled Amoralist
Joined
Nov 28, 2018
Messages
1,885
It's only because you hate on whites excessively. I'm only 9 years younger than you. My roommate is close to you, will be 43 this October. We haven't had the greatest lives (to call my roommates live "great" is a outright lie but I'm not about to go into detail. From what I know you're an East Indian. Most of my dislike of minorities is solely blacks if you didn't know that. They're a criminal plague here. And if you lived here whites bitches would sell you out for bbc just like me. Idc it's all relative to location so I don't your situation in your area. But neither you or I or my roommate have had much success, my roommate being the biggest slayer but he also has gay tendencies as well as other tendencies is rather not speak about but otherwise a decent dude. I'm 100% straight and only like vag tbf so I'd never do some of the shit he's done but I mean well. No worries.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
It's only because you hate on whites excessively. I'm only 9 years younger than you. My roommate is close to you, will be 43 this October. We haven't had the greatest lives (to call my roommates live "great" is a outright lie but I'm not about to go into detail. From what I know you're an East Indian. Most of my dislike of minorities is solely blacks if you didn't know that. They're a criminal plague here. And if you lived here whites bitches would sell you out for bbc just like me. Idc it's all relative to location so I don't your situation in your area. But neither you or I or my roommate have had much success, my roommate being the biggest slayer but he also has gay tendencies as well as other tendencies is rather not speak about but otherwise a decent dude. I'm 100% straight and only like vag tbf so I'd never do some of the shit he's done but I mean well. No worries.
East Indian? Who told you that?

Also, all of my images broke! Does linking images not work?
Oh wait, I think I know where that came from. You're thinking of Anselm the Incelfish. That's just a fishing account for Tinder I made. I'm not from Bhubanshwar.
 
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IntolerantSocialist

IntolerantSocialist

Nazbol Blackpilled Amoralist
Joined
Nov 28, 2018
Messages
1,885
The site is acting weird tonight
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"The Hot 100" or "XXX Marks the Spot 4: On Slayer Tides"

TL;DR: I was able to reach the COED Magazine Spring Break travel reviewer. His recommendation? South Padre Island. And I kinda told him I would definitely go. And he wants me to tell him how the trip goes. But how close is the South Padre Island experience to PCB? I need someone to tell me just what exactly made PCB so crazy. So I can look for it at SPI and see just how lacking in sodomy and gomorrals it is. Speaking of comparing lists of places to see which one is the best, COED also has a list of the schools with the hottest girls in the country. Which is basically what my Instagram census is supposed to provide. But how accurate is it? And is "hot" on its own good enough? A hot prude is no fun, are they? So where can I find girls who are hot, but also dirty? Probably not where I live. My city isn't on any lists that matter. But for some reason, Texas is, and pretty frequently. Maybe South Padre Island is worth looking into.

I called Mr. Swain, turns out he is Wyatt the NYCBass. And he was very helpful! I figured a guy like him would get into real estate, from what I understand it attracts a "Get paid, get laid" class of baller. And the seed of that was most likely always with him if he was writing for COED. You don't write about Spring Break and then go one to be a devops guy or something. All the Girls Gone Wild guys and people in that field, they dabble in real estate too, either buying or selling. He was surprised to hear from me, I prefaced by saying that I didn't wanna bend his ear over some bullshit because he's probably a busy man, so if I could maybe e-mail him so he can respond at his earliest convenience... but he was like "No, I've got time, and I'm intrigued by this." He was glad to hear from a fan, and that's an accurate word to describe me, I'm a fan of his work. I'm a fan of a lot of the stuff on COED all of a sudden.

Actually... I'm not so sure he was nothing but happy to hear from a fan. I think he was suspicious of how I found him. Because he did ask if I Googled him. I didn't Google him, all I did was read his profiles. To have Googled him maybe treads the line into stalkerish territory. I don't feel like I crossed that. But if he feels like I crossed that, I feel bad. What should I have done instead?

I feel like his COED articles are the last thing he wants associated with him right now. Yeah realty is the wheelhouse of a lot of people who would read COED Magazine, but when I look at that picture of him on Brown Harris Stevens, it doesn't look like the kind of person who would read COED Magazine. So he's probably got good reason to be suspicious of some stranger calling him up like "Hey, you, respected professional, I know you've been writing about butthole tattoos and which places let you get away with things that would be illegal in most other places." I can be trusted. I like this kinda stuff. But maybe me finding him means other people will find him and he's worried about that now.

Anyway, he told me that Panama City Beach was insane. I figured. And his best educated guess for the closest thing to Panama City Beach circa "before everything went wrong?" That'd be South Padre Island. Again, I figured. But I says to him I says "How close is SPI to PCB, really? Is it really everything PCB used to be? What areas is it still lacking in?" And he tells me that, while he's been to PCB and can attest to its insanity, he's never actually been to SPI. But he'd put money down, SPI is a good time. He asks me if I'm looking to go somewhere for Spring Break. I say yeah, I'm scouting for places to go. And he says I should let him know how it goes. And I guess I was starstruck or something because I was like "Yeah man, I'll be sure to tell you all about it when I definitely go to South Padre Island!"

And then we hung up. And like that, I was committed to this thing. :feelsgiga:

I have to tell this guy something now, I said I would. I don't have it in me to just ghost him. He has my phone number. We've texted. I've dug myself into a hole here, driving home how I'm definitely gonna make Spring Break happen. And he's such a good guy. I don't have the heart to look like a liar to him. So, how do I get to South Padre Island? Bare minimum, I need a flight, I need lodging, and I need to feed myself while I'm there. It's Texas Week right now at South Padre. It's supposed to be especially crazy during Texas Week. But I don't think I could leave right away. I have to schedule the Paid Time Off at work. Some time next week would have to be the earliest. But will I miss all of the fun by then? Honestly, I'm more worried about committing to my big talk with Mr. Swain. But if I'm talking about staying for a whole week? And the cheapest room I can find is $50 a night. NOT including taxes and fees. It would be cheaper to literally move to the area and just live near the island. At present I can't even afford to replace my broken stove/oven. South Padre Island? That's stove/oven money. If I can afford to go to South Padre, I can afford a new stove/oven. But at the same time, coming so close to actually going... it's only a matter of a few hundred dollars. And I would be coming closer than I've ever come in my life to the lifestyle I hoped to live.

Or is it? I have Mr. Swain's opinion. But let's crowdsource it. If South Padre Island really is the new Panama City Beach, people would be saying so, right? Well, some are.


Some random guy's opinion. But it's taken shortly after Panama City Beach went bad. So that's promising. It's the opinion of someone looking for what I'm looking for. It comes from a place that says "You miss PCB because it was Sodom & Gomorrah. I'm aware that we lost PCB, so I'm telling you where the new PCB is." But that's just one opinion. There's a variety of others, and no one's coming to a consensus. Not like when we all agreed PCB was the craziest Spring Break spot.




I could just go by what place is mentioned the most nowadays as "the new Panama City Beach." That would be Miami. But see, we already established that Miami is NOT PCB! Miami, unless it took a turn, is the classier, more refined, more polished, more corporate older brother of PCB! At least back when PCB was at its peak! You went to Miami to find things to do. You went to PCB to find people to do. So how can I trust this??? How do I know what people even mean when they say this? Maybe by "new PCB" they don't mean "PCB" for the reasons I wanted to go to PCB. Maybe they mean "It's the new PCB because there's more litter on the beach." I don't know. All I know is, before things went bad in 2015, we were all in agreement. And it's only now that opinions are this split.

Or maybe no one can agree on anything?


The main problem here is, I've never been to PCB or SPI. So I'm no judge on my own of whether SPI hits on all of what peak PCB used to provide. Let's say I go to SPI, and I'm unsatisfied. "I kept wondering if peak PCB did it better" I might say. I can't know if peak PCB did it better without knowing what exactly went on at peak PCB. Which really was the question I should've asked Mr. Swain. Maybe I should text him again. But then... what kind of question is that to ask somebody I haven't even met face to face yet? I'm looking to find out what he and the COED team experienced out there that made them compare PCB to Sodom & Gomorrah. That way I'll at least know what to look for if I did go to SPI. But that's a very personal question. What happened to them down there that was worth so much fuss? Did they get their dicks sucked? What? Did they meet some new friends at the hotel and end up having an orgy? Were the streets littered with drunken, naked bodies? What happened EXACTLY? These aren't questions you ask a man, especially nowadays. Especially a man with a business to his name and a social media presence. There's snitches everywhere in this era, and I'm sure Mr. Swain is a standup guy. He stands taller than I do, that's for sure. But my definition of "standup guy" might not be everyone's definition of "standup guy." Just about any sexual liaison from the past can be called into question as, if nothing else, "problematic." And he's married! What would his wife think, him waxing nostalgic with me about all the Spring Break pussy he pulled as a "journalist?" Reminiscing about other women? Even if he doesn't remember their names? She wouldn't like it, and he probably wouldn't like it. But if I'm going to SPI, what I need, aside from money, is a point of reference to compare it to. I can't just have fun like a normal person. I need to know if my fun is like the fun they had at peak PCB. So I need someone to tell me, exactly, what kind of fun that was, that set it apart from every other place on Earth. Not just in the United States, on EARTH. If I can remind everyone how insanely beyond all rational expectations PCB allegedly was. I've never been. :feelscry:

Maybe Looksmax.org can help. Has anyone here ever been to PCB? If I was to go to SPI, what am I looking for?

The Facebook family of products is closed today. So I'm taking a break from my scouring of Instagrams. Instagram is owned by Facebook. The quest to find the place with the best college continues. But I have a good feeling about what my results are gonna produce. I said in XXX Marks the Spot 1 that the hot people probably all live where the weather is hot. It just sounds like sense, right? And it turns out I'm not the first person to think that. I've been pokin' around COED Magazine recently and I found another list. "Top 25 Colleges With Hottest COEDs"


And on it, writer Josh Sanchez sez...

No one can deny it. Some schools just bring it better than the rest. That seems to especially be the case for schools that are in locations with perfect weather year-round. That’s why it’s no surprise that you will find some of the most beautiful college students in Florida, Texas, or on the West Coast.
I have to make sure, but I think that after I've completed my first census of these Instagram accounts and all of the location tags in them and all of the location tags of everyone who submits to them, what I'll find is that most of the pictures will probably come from the colleges on this list. Or the states that hold the colleges on this list. Because this is a list of places I'm trying to compile. I'm trying to find where the hottest college girls are. I'm obviously not the first person to try and figure that out, so the compiled efforts of everyone before me must've cracked the code, right?

The list is as follows.

  1. East Carolina University
  2. University of Kentucky
  3. University of Tennessee
  4. Clemson University
  5. University of Georgia
  6. Vanderbilt University
  7. Auburn University
  8. University of North Carolina
  9. Texas A&M University
  10. University of South Florida
  11. Louisiana State University
  12. University of Florida
  13. University of California, Los Angeles
  14. Texas Christian University
  15. Florida Atlantic University
  16. University of Texas
  17. University of Mississippi
  18. University of Miami
  19. University of Colorado Boulder
  20. University of Arizona
  21. University of Central Florida
  22. University of Southern California
  23. San Diego State University
  24. Florida State University
  25. Arizona State University


Their description of Arizona State makes it sound obvious. Further cementing the idea that everybody already knows this and I'm late to the party.

Was there really a question in anyone’s mind? Arizona State is, and always will be, the go-to destination for the most attractive college girls in the country.
And I've heard this stereotype before. This list presents these findings as if to say "Yeah, we've all always known this. This is common knowledge, that the hot girls go to the places where you can/must wear less clothing."

But "hot" on its own isn't enough. Arizona might have attractive women, but are they "fun?" I don't want a bunch of pretty prudes. I'm looking for debauchery. And that's a big part of my doubt for South Padre Island holding a candle to PCB. Like I said in this post, the people that are there are the main factor. And while most spring break beach parties attract the same eclectic blend from across the country, what Panama City Beach and the general Floridian area had from the start was a strong base population of Floribama Shore rednecks. Texas has the wrong kind of redneck. When you compare the kind of South you get, East vs. West of the Mississippi Delta/Louisiana, towards Texas and beyond things actually start to get less "trailer trash." Compared to the American Southeast, anyway. There's a difference between "Texas Redneck" and "Florida Redneck" is what I mean. And the "Florida Redneck" brought a sloppy, unprotected party style to Panama City Beach that I don't know exists in Texas. I have a hunch that my best shot at a "butthole tattoo" type of woman would be in the Southeast. Beautiful women, but not so fancy that they don't like fun.

Where ever the fun is, it's not where I live. I'm reading a lot of lists, Colleges With Hottest Girls, Trashiest Spring Break Locations, and so on. How many of you out there read lists like that? My city isn't on any of those lists. My city isn't on any list that matters. None of the fun lists. That's why I feel like I need to leave. I think my fortunes will turn if I just go somewhere else.

Like, say, a "Cities Having The Most Sex" list. I don't mean from Cosmopolitan. I mean lists like this one from Men's Health.


The metrics they used for this list are condom sales (from Nielsen), birth rates/STD rates reported by state health departments, and sex toy sales from the retailers "Pure Romance" and Babeland.com. And... huh, Texas is topping the list. But my city is nowhere near this list. He're the 10 most fuckingest cities...

1. Austin, TX
Overall Ranking: 1st
Condom Sales: 1st
Birth Rates: 15th
STD Rates: 23rd

2. Dallas, TX
Overall Ranking: 2nd
Condom Sales: 5th
Birth Rates: 6th
STD Rates: 25th

3. Columbus, OH
Overall Ranking: 3rd
Condom Sales: 13th
Birth Rates: 22nd
STD Rates: 15th

4. Durham, NC
Overall Ranking: 4th
Condom Sales: 18th
Birth Rates: 9th
STD Rates: 27th

5. Denver, CO
Overall Ranking: 5th
Condom Sales: 7th
Birth Rates: 20th
STD Rates: 19th

6. Indianapolis, IN
Overall Ranking: 6th
Condom Sales: 41st
Birth Rates: 11th
STD Rates: 12th

7. Arlington, TX
Overall Ranking: 7th
Condom Sales: 5th
Birth Rates:16th
STD Rates: 54th

8. Oklahoma City, OK
Overall Ranking: 8th
Condom Sales: 34th
Birth Rates: 10th
STD Rates: 20th

9. Bakersfield, CA
Overall Ranking: 9th
Condom Sales: 12th
Birth Rates: 3rd
STD Rates: 48th

10. Houston, TX
Overall Ranking: 10th
Condom Sales: 10th
Birth Rates: 8th
STD Rates: 50th​

...And the 10 least fuckingest cities.

91. Billings, MT
Overall Ranking: 91st
Condom Sales: 85th
Birth Rates: 77th
STD Rates: 87th

92. Reno, NV
Overall Ranking: 92nd
Condom Sales: 73rd
Birth Rates: 75th
STD Rates: 99th

93. Buffalo, NY
Overall Ranking: 93rd
Condom Sales: 94th
Birth Rates: 98th
STD Rates: 51st

94. Hartford, CT
Overall Ranking: 94th
Condom Sales: 90th
Birth Rates: 93rd
STD Rates: 68th

95. St. Petersburg, FL
Overall Ranking: 95th
Condom Sales: 99th
Birth Rates: 100th
STD Rates: 55th

96. Manchester, NH
Overall Ranking: 96th
Condom Sales: 76th
Birth Rates: 97th
STD Rates: 98th

97. Charleston, WV
Overall Ranking: 97th
Condom Sales: 100th
Birth Rates: 91st
STD Rates: 85th

98. Yonkers, NY
Overall Ranking: 98th
Condom Sales: 89th
Birth Rates: 91st
STD Rates: 88th

99. Burlington, VT
Overall Ranking: 99th
Condom Sales: 96th
Birth Rates: 99th
STD Rates: 97th

100. Portland, ME
Overall Ranking: 100th
Condom Sales: 95th
Birth Rates: 95th
STD Rates: 100th​

Texas is all over this list. And I find that as I check other sex lists, Texas is continuously all over those lists. I wanna think that it's just because Texas is so big, so by virtue of taking up so much space, it just happens to take up a bigger share of people in the country and more people having sex. But maybe I'm wrong about Texas not being as wild as the American Southeast.

But what is my city good for? I don't see it, or any nearby cities, on any interesting lists. What about you guys? Do you live anywhere interesting? I hear people over on Incels.is lamenting the torture of seeing beautiful women everywhere they go, I guess everyone must live in those hot weather states. My city is underwhelming in every way. That counts, at least. I gotta get out. If only for a week. See if somewhere else is more interesting.
EDIT: For some reason that list of colleges with the hottest coeds won't cooperate. It's supposed to from 25 to 1.
 
Last edited:
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Beware the Ides of March" or "Gunn Control Debate"

TL;DR:
I've been thinking about the Christchurch tragedy today. And how the terrorist invoked PewDiePie of all inspirations for what he did. And how people came out in defense of PewDiePie, saying "That terrorist does not speak for PewDiePie, don't conflate the views of the idol with the misinterpreted madness of the fan." And yet, people couldn't be bothered to say the same thing when the MAGABomber invoked Trump in his terror. In a similar story, James Gunn got his job back, Disney went back on their commitment to not tolerate what he did. Meanwhile Roseanne is still jobless because she made Tweets. A lot of hypocrisy today. I wish it were 10 years ago and all this Twitter outrage was yet to exist.


Maybe you heard it, maybe you didn't, but tragedy struck a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand. You probably heard it because Incels.is, and the wider family of products, always has their ear to the ground when it comes to stuff like this. The count is 49. Two arrests were made.

Now, I could dickache about how unfair it is for 49 people to die, but everyone else already has. It's not a stance that's been neglected. So if I may, I wanna point out the B-story to this: The terrorist who did this invoked PewDiePie. Like, he did it for PewDiePie. As if it was something PewDiePie wanted him to do. And a small SMALL handful of outlets ran with it, saying "Remember that time PewDiePie said that anti-Semitic stuff or whatever? Now one of his fans is shooting up mosques. Is PewDiePie an influence for evil?" And he's... probably not, right? Probably not an influence for evil? So then a bunch of people take to social media to call this thinking out, saying that the terrorist does not speak for PewDiePie or represent PewDiePie and everyone is responsible for their own actions and craziness. Which is fair. But this made me think about the MAGABomber a little while ago, and how no one came to Donald Trump's defense when that happened. Complete opposite, actually. They said Trump WAS responsible for the MAGABomber. So how does that work? I don't remember Trump saying to go bomb the liberals. Why isn't that just the madness of an isolated terrorist? Why do we make the effort to separate the fan from the idol when it's PewDiePie, but not Trump? Why do we even give a damn about PewDiePie? I thought we all agreed he was an obnoxious overrated distraction for 12 year olds. Not more than, say, 5 years ago I remember that was what we all agreed on. Now everyone seems to unironically like this guy. And somehow I doubt Looksmax (or the wider family of products) can tell me what the fuck changed between then and now because mainstream entertainment isn't something anyone here really talks about. I dunno. Maybe the idiot 12 year olds grew up and are now the dominant species on the Internet?

Speaking of mainstream entertainment, James Gunn. You might remember how he lost his job as future director of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 for some crass Tweets he made. And people begged Disney to give him his job back. Even the Guardians came together with a petition. They were just jokes! But Disney would not budge. Warner Bros. scooped him up and said "We don't care about the jokes you make! We almost hired Mel Gibson and he almost certainly wasn't joking! Time heals all wounds everyone's gonna forget about this in 10 years!" But Disney still wouldn't budge.

Until they finally budged. And Gunn was back on for Guardians Volume 3.


And there was much rejoicing. From some people. Others were still upset because the idea was, Gunn should stay fired because Roseanne stayed fired. She also made some offensive jokes on Twitter. It would be hypocrisy for the same people who buried Roseanne to hold up Gunn for doing the same thing. And right on cue, the people who defended Gunn in the beginning came out to say "No, it's different with Roseanne." Why? Because Gunn was just joking. So was Roseanne not joking? She said such and such black chick looked like somebody from Planet of the Apes. Why is that not a joke? People say it's a racist too. But why? Because the black chick is black. And calling a black person an "ape" or saying they look like an ape is automatically racist. Maybe you mean "ape" like a big burlish person? No, no, "ape" means "black person" now and forever. Even if you don't. So let's say Gunn and Roseanne were both joking. Well, Gunn was joking a long time ago. Roseanne made her jokes recently. So jokes are bad, but if you made them a long time ago we can forgive you. Alright then, I'd like to direct your attention to the detective work of one Nick "Third Man To Nickelodeon's Kenan & Kel" Cannon. He's pointed out how "comedians" like Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer continue to make offensive jokes on their Twitter pages. Not old jokes, current jokes. Many of them homophobic, which is a super no-no nowadays. So to echo Nick Cannon, how come they're not fired? We let Amy Schumer get away with "I Feel Pretty," more offensive and dangerous for society than any Tweet she's ever made. But Gay Twitter comes out in defense of her saying "She can say 'faggot' because I just feel like she doesn't mean any homophobia by it. Not like that Kevin Hart guy." But then, even Kevin Hart got more defense than Roseanne. Personally, I don't think it's fair that we're willing to cry "PC Culture gone mad" when it's Gunn and Hart and Schumer and Silverman, but not Roseanne.

Then again, Roseanne was one of the ones who buried Louis C.K. for daring to ask for consensual sex. And Louis C.K. had his world destroyed too. So I dunno. I'm just pissed in general, I guess. I think back to, like, 2005. Remember Pat O'Brien from Access Hollywood? Remember when he got drunk and left that voicemail on that woman's phone? He didn't get MeToo'd for it. It was just someone making a drunken approach, not trying to impose themselves on anyone or subvert anyone's will, just a man who liked a woman. And because of that, it went away shortly. We all laughed at him, obviously, because he made a drunken idiot of himself on the phone. I think around 2008 it was still okay to laugh at it. They laughed about it on "I Love the New Millennium," which aired in June of 2008. Today? Because he's a man in pursuit of a woman, this would be harassment. This would be him disregarding her feelings as a woman. Somehow. This would be "The Patriarchy" rearing its ugly head because we'll all be damned if co-workers are allowed to hook up.

I don't know what changed. Was it the Obama administration? Was it because Twitter got big? 10 years ago seems like a different universe. Sometimes I wonder what 10 years from now will look like. But now's not the time to look forward to 2030. This blog is about looking forward, at the furthest, to the 20s.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Basically Chad Now" or "XXX Marks the Spot 5: Dead Men Get No Tail"

TL;DR:
WYATT surprised me with a text last night, asking about my Spring Break trip. I haven't gone yet, but he seems to be really interested. And I feel like a guy that good, I should honor him by taking the trip. But I wonder if it'll be worth it. I wonder if it'll pale in comparison to PCB. WYATT tells me what made PCB was that there was nudity, substance abuse, people splayed out in the streets, and no cops to be found. So if I can just experience that, I will have truly lived. I don't know if it's in South Padre, but it appears to be in Rosarita. Where ever the fun is, I feel like I should go to South Padre because I told WYATT that I would. WYATT seems interested and I don't wanna make a liar of myself. More than that, I wanna be cool like WYATT is.

Last night I got a surprise text from "WYATT." Cool guy that he was, he asked if I had booked my Spring Break trip yet. I tell him no, it'll have to be next week. And I'm like "Aw man, I'm probably gonna miss all of the Spring Break cooch." He suggests I look up a list of Spring Break dates to see what schools will still be tappin' the keg. I tell him yeah. Because I just so happen to have a list like that. And it looks like I'd still have some good company if I left some time next week. But I says "Still, it would've been nice to be around for Texas Week." Because Texas Week is "peak South Padre," so it seems. Or at least it usually is. Texas Week is typically as lit as it is because most/all of the Texas schools take their Spring Break around that time. At the same time. On top of all the kids coming from out of state. But this year they broke the schedule up so that not everyone was on break at the same time.


Texas Week is just about winding down. It's not over yet, there's supposed to be a performance at Clayton's Beach Venue by dangerous illegal alien 21 Savage. But he was detained by border patrol. So no one knows what's gonna happen. Anyway, it's far enough down Texas Week that cops are ready to give it the grade. Their review? According to San Antonio Express News? Things didn't wind down that much, despite the breakup.


But I'm rambling. My point is, if I was to go to South Padre, Texas Week was the time I wish I could've gone. Texas Week with all the schools, ideally. And we both agree, that was the key. He muses if his wife married him for his practiced Spring Break mind. Ha! I hope so, WYATT. Maybe my worries in XXX Marks The Spot 4 were just paranoia. So... I swallow my fear and I ask him "So, you said PCB was like Sodom and Gomorrah. What exactly made it like Sodom and Gomorrah? That way when I go to South Padre, if I see the stuff in South Padre that you saw in PCB, I'll know if South Padre is the true heir to the Spring Break crown." He didn't get too personal or specific, he laid out 4 things:

  1. Drugs
  2. Tits
  3. Blacked out people everywhere
  4. No cops
Good enough. So if I go to Spring Break, and I see drugs, tits, blacked out people everywhere, and a scarcity of law enforcement, I will have had my best possible Spring Break.

You know who probably had a nice Spring Break? These two, from that thread @kobecel made.


Now, what I saw in that thread was beautifuller than hell to me. But for a lot of men this is a headache to look at. Like it is for me to see a James Gunn get away with what a Roseanne can't. So NSFW tags are in order.


What we have here is an act of public sex in broad daylight on the beach. A group of onlookers surrounds a man, laid back on some kind of... bench? As a nude woman holds onto the railings and bounces on his dick. Well, she's not entirely nude. She has on shoes. A can of Four Loko rests at her side. Now that's trash. And if South Padre Island has that? It's not even a question. I will go there no matter the cost. Problem is, that picture isn't actually from South Padre. A South Padre Spring Break Twitter re-Tweeted it, but they never claimed it was taking place at South Padre. If you go to the person who originally Tweeted it...


...this seems to have taken place on Rosarito Beach. A small resort town in Mexico. Some time around March 8th - 10th, 2019. And while South Padre is close to Mexico, it's not close to Rosarito Beach. You have to go to San Diego to get close to Rosarito Beach.

And... looking a little closer here... I don't know that this is actually an act of penetrative sex? She's naked, no doubt. But the dude doesn't seem to have taken his dick out. Still, if South Padre Island had this? No question. I'll take naked grinding. Then again... what are the odds that these are two strangers? What if it's a boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, who decided to get freak nasty and everyone cheered them on? I think that's more likely. Usually when you're somewhere and you see two people making out and the dude is fingering the chick, that's because he brought that chick there. They knew each other beforehand. And that somehow seems too tame. I prefer to imagine a place so crazy that strangers can meet up and swap STDs on the sidewalk while the cops look on helplessly like "We don't have enough handcuffs for all this!"

The pressure of making good on my big talk looms. Shortly after texting with WYATT I fell asleep. And I dreamt that he offered to go with me to South Padre Island and pay my way, because I couldn't afford it. And he wanted to be friends with me. And in my dream I kept thinking "How am I supposed to maintain a friendship with this guy? I have nothing to offer. We're gonna go down there, and I'm gonna be begging him for money and he's gonna lead me around by the hand, that's not how friendship works. Friendship is mutually beneficial. I would enjoy hanging out with him, but he's gotta enjoy hanging out with me. I have to bring something to the friendship. But I have nothing to offer." I don't have money, I don't have any kind of an interesting life to share with him, I should at least have some friends of my own to mix with his friends, right? Again, I hope it's not stalkerish, but I've been going through his Tweets, asking myself "Okay, what kind of person would I have to be to be able to kick it with this guy?" Okay... sports, specifically basketball, would be good things to be into. But that's probably a lot of history to catch up on. Maybe the creepy thing is, I called this guy as little more than a client, and now I'm overblowing the nature of our association like some lovesick cat lady panicking over where she's gonna get some Plan B because she's PRETTY SURE the neighbor kid is gonna come over this weekend and fuck her for his 18th birthday. His mom is always sending him over to trim her weeds. Surely they've grown closer over the years, right? Surely he wants this, right???

There are rules about this here, so I just wanna stress: I am not gay. Otherwise why would I be obsessing over sex with women? No, what this is about is me wondering and worrying about whether I have what it takes to have relationships with people. As in, do I bring anything to the table? What do you bring to the table? How do you sustain a friendship? What do friends do? Right now I feel like I at least owe WYATT the trip to South Padre. But man, I sure do wish, I sure do hope, that it's like Rosarita Beach.

The earliest I can go to South Padre is the night of March 22nd. If I'm doing this, I better book things soon.
 
IntolerantSocialist

IntolerantSocialist

Nazbol Blackpilled Amoralist
Joined
Nov 28, 2018
Messages
1,885
I
"Beware the Ides of March" or "Gunn Control Debate"

TL;DR:
I've been thinking about the Christchurch tragedy today. And how the terrorist invoked PewDiePie of all inspirations for what he did. And how people came out in defense of PewDiePie, saying "That terrorist does not speak for PewDiePie, don't conflate the views of the idol with the misinterpreted madness of the fan." And yet, people couldn't be bothered to say the same thing when the MAGABomber invoked Trump in his terror. In a similar story, James Gunn got his job back, Disney went back on their commitment to not tolerate what he did. Meanwhile Roseanne is still jobless because she made Tweets. A lot of hypocrisy today. I wish it were 10 years ago and all this Twitter outrage was yet to exist.


Maybe you heard it, maybe you didn't, but tragedy struck a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand. You probably heard it because Incels.is, and the wider family of products, always has their ear to the ground when it comes to stuff like this. The count is 49. Two arrests were made.

Now, I could dickache about how unfair it is for 49 people to die, but everyone else already has. It's not a stance that's been neglected. So if I may, I wanna point out the B-story to this: The terrorist who did this invoked PewDiePie. Like, he did it for PewDiePie. As if it was something PewDiePie wanted him to do. And a small SMALL handful of outlets ran with it, saying "Remember that time PewDiePie said that anti-Semitic stuff or whatever? Now one of his fans is shooting up mosques. Is PewDiePie an influence for evil?" And he's... probably not, right? Probably not an influence for evil? So then a bunch of people take to social media to call this thinking out, saying that the terrorist does not speak for PewDiePie or represent PewDiePie and everyone is responsible for their own actions and craziness. Which is fair. But this made me think about the MAGABomber a little while ago, and how no one came to Donald Trump's defense when that happened. Complete opposite, actually. They said Trump WAS responsible for the MAGABomber. So how does that work? I don't remember Trump saying to go bomb the liberals. Why isn't that just the madness of an isolated terrorist? Why do we make the effort to separate the fan from the idol when it's PewDiePie, but not Trump? Why do we even give a damn about PewDiePie? I thought we all agreed he was an obnoxious overrated distraction for 12 year olds. Not more than, say, 5 years ago I remember that was what we all agreed on. Now everyone seems to unironically like this guy. And somehow I doubt Looksmax (or the wider family of products) can tell me what the fuck changed between then and now because mainstream entertainment isn't something anyone here really talks about. I dunno. Maybe the idiot 12 year olds grew up and are now the dominant species on the Internet?

Speaking of mainstream entertainment, James Gunn. You might remember how he lost his job as future director of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 for some crass Tweets he made. And people begged Disney to give him his job back. Even the Guardians came together with a petition. They were just jokes! But Disney would not budge. Warner Bros. scooped him up and said "We don't care about the jokes you make! We almost hired Mel Gibson and he almost certainly wasn't joking! Time heals all wounds everyone's gonna forget about this in 10 years!" But Disney still wouldn't budge.

Until they finally budged. And Gunn was back on for Guardians Volume 3.


And there was much rejoicing. From some people. Others were still upset because the idea was, Gunn should stay fired because Roseanne stayed fired. She also made some offensive jokes on Twitter. It would be hypocrisy for the same people who buried Roseanne to hold up Gunn for doing the same thing. And right on cue, the people who defended Gunn in the beginning came out to say "No, it's different with Roseanne." Why? Because Gunn was just joking. So was Roseanne not joking? She said such and such black chick looked like somebody from Planet of the Apes. Why is that not a joke? People say it's a racist too. But why? Because the black chick is black. And calling a black person an "ape" or saying they look like an ape is automatically racist. Maybe you mean "ape" like a big burlish person? No, no, "ape" means "black person" now and forever. Even if you don't. So let's say Gunn and Roseanne were both joking. Well, Gunn was joking a long time ago. Roseanne made her jokes recently. So jokes are bad, but if you made them a long time ago we can forgive you. Alright then, I'd like to direct your attention to the detective work of one Nick "Third Man To Nickelodeon's Kenan & Kel" Cannon. He's pointed out how "comedians" like Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer continue to make offensive jokes on their Twitter pages. Not old jokes, current jokes. Many of them homophobic, which is a super no-no nowadays. So to echo Nick Cannon, how come they're not fired? We let Amy Schumer get away with "I Feel Pretty," more offensive and dangerous for society than any Tweet she's ever made. But Gay Twitter comes out in defense of her saying "She can say 'faggot' because I just feel like she doesn't mean any homophobia by it. Not like that Kevin Hart guy." But then, even Kevin Hart got more defense than Roseanne. Personally, I don't think it's fair that we're willing to cry "PC Culture gone mad" when it's Gunn and Hart and Schumer and Silverman, but not Roseanne.

Then again, Roseanne was one of the ones who buried Louis C.K. for daring to ask for consensual sex. And Louis C.K. had his world destroyed too. So I dunno. I'm just pissed in general, I guess. I think back to, like, 2005. Remember Pat O'Brien from Access Hollywood? Remember when he got drunk and left that voicemail on that woman's phone? He didn't get MeToo'd for it. It was just someone making a drunken approach, not trying to impose themselves on anyone or subvert anyone's will, just a man who liked a woman. And because of that, it went away shortly. We all laughed at him, obviously, because he made a drunken idiot of himself on the phone. I think around 2008 it was still okay to laugh at it. They laughed about it on "I Love the New Millennium," which aired in June of 2008. Today? Because he's a man in pursuit of a woman, this would be harassment. This would be him disregarding her feelings as a woman. Somehow. This would be "The Patriarchy" rearing its ugly head because we'll all be damned if co-workers are allowed to hook up.

I don't know what changed. Was it the Obama administration? Was it because Twitter got big? 10 years ago seems like a different universe. Sometimes I wonder what 10 years from now will look like. But now's not the time to look forward to 2030. This blog is about looking forward, at the furthest, to the 20s.
One thing that bugs me is the women & children. Yea I can see how the kids are in poor taste but women being innocent esp. The last 40 years is laughable and from what I saw the feed was full of men. I know how Muslim men dress and those weren't a bunch of broads. As far Roshashana Barr being a jobless jew is both funny haha and funny queer.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
One thing that bugs me is the women & children. Yea I can see how the kids are in poor taste but women being innocent esp. The last 40 years is laughable and from what I saw the feed was full of men. I know how Muslim men dress and those weren't a bunch of broads. As far Roshashana Barr being a jobless jew is both funny haha and funny queer.
Last 40 years of what?
 
IntolerantSocialist

IntolerantSocialist

Nazbol Blackpilled Amoralist
Joined
Nov 28, 2018
Messages
1,885
Feminism
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"La Filly Patrick Sunny Day" or "Leprechaunmaxxing"

TL;DR:
It's St. Patrick's Day and my thoughts are with Ireland and what will happen to it regarding Brexit. Will The Troubles start up again? Speaking of Troubles, I might not be Irish but I'm wondering if in the future I'll have to make a choice between Spring Break partying and St. Patrick's Day partying.

Now here's to inceldom, a curse neverending,
Through the long generation I dream of ascending,
And users on Looksmax can say how they saw

The Red Pills of freedom in Coping Go Bragh.
?


Merry Selection Sunday! ? Yes, ready your brackets, for the first day of this most hallowed season of March Madness is upon us! Ah, the holidays. Somewhere WYATT is watching the picks with his boys as they all count up their stakes.

And, it's also St. Patrick's Day! ? Speaking of which, it seems a lot of "snakes" were driven from Looksmax since I first started this log. I remember the early goings of the forum, there were zero banned people. And now look at all the once notable names struck from the record. Looking over the first page of this log, even, I see a lot of crossed out names. @Swagwaffle, @Psychonaut, @Jaded, why aren't you here with us today? Might have to pay the Ban Megathread a visit and ask. Seems the high turnover rate of Incels.is is with even Looksmax. Anyway, I'm putting the finishing touches on my look and smell before I head out to a midnight St. Patrick's Day thing. But if you're actually Irish, the looming Brexit probably means something to you and Irish pride is on your mind today. For matters of trade, Brexit will probably split your country in half with toll gates, or whatever they're being called. And the thing about Ireland is, they're still sore after The Troubles. The Irish Republican Army is still a thing, and they remember back when toll gates or whatever used to plague Ireland the first time around. They shot up and bombed those gates. And they're threatening the UK: Put those gates up again, and there'll be shootings and bombings again. 1966 will commence again! That's really something. Here in the States, yeah we have lots of crazy shooters, but Ireland has actual organized volunteer militia, ready today, to start performing terrorist/revolutionary acts. That's some ISIS-level shit. In a country like Ireland. But I'm not Irish. So what does my opinion matter?

I've been talking a lot about Spring Break because I like a rowdy time with loose thots who will touch me and let me touch them. Without me paying for it, obviously. Well, I'll pay for her drinks but... you know what I mean. Not strippers or prostitutes. But you know what? What about St. Patrick's Day? Ideally I'd like to have both, but if I was to have done Spring Break this week, I would've missed St. Patrick's Day. Because typically those are two separate holidays. Both involve revelry and drunken mistakes, but I bet you don't get very far trying to wish people a happy St. Patrick's Day in Mexico. Or near Mexico. Down South where all of the Spring Breaking happens. Inversely, I bet if you were to walk into a Sweeny's or a Daly's or an Omare's and be like "SPRING BREEAAAAAAAAAK" and then look around to see how few people are in swimsuits, you'd find that the moods kinda clash. Like I said in XXX Marks the Spot 3, there's a difference between a place that's Spring Breaky, and a place that people just happen to be when on Spring Break. You don't go to Boston or Philly or Chicago for Spring Break if you have a choice. But you do go to Boston or Philly or Chicago for St. Patrick's Day. So if I want both, I would have to go to Spring Break either before or after March 17th. Which is what I... am still thinking I'm gonna do this year. March 23rd through March 31st.

But I recently went through the STA Travel List Of 2019 Spring Break Dates. Remember how I'm scouting colleges? Trying to pick the best one for a variety of factors? I thought "Hey which of these schools has the longest Spring Break? That might be a good school to go to." Well, first of all, there are 803 schools on that list. Is that all of the colleges/universities in the United States? I don't know. Which of the listed schools has the longest Spring Break? Well, unless that's a typo, that would be Alfred University, from March 3rd to March 17th. At least for this year. Runners up are the Berkeley Colleges in Midtown Manhattan, Lower Manhattan, and New Jersey. So go to one of those schools? Well maybe, but then I used my brain. If I'm going to a school for a long Spring Break, why not just... not go to school? When I go to school, if I think of "Spring Break" as a moment or opportunity that only exists in school, Spring Break only happens four or so times, and then I graduate. Then "Spring Break" doesn't happen anymore. But if I don't enroll in a school and just live at a Spring Break locale, Spring Break happens every year for the rest of my life. If Spring Break is the focal point of my ascension strategy, I don't need to enroll in a school and it's smarter to just not enroll. Live at the locale. INSTEAD what I should do is focus on when most schools will be having Spring Break. So I know when my Spring Break locale, whichever I choose, will be the most teeming with crazies. For 2019...

150 schools start their Spring Break on March 2nd and end it on March 10th.

181 schools start their Spring Break on March 16th and end it on March 24th.

A fucking paltry 77 schools hold theirs on March 23rd to March 31st. AKA, the only time I can afford to show up. Along with one going from March 24th to 31st, and one going from March 25th to 29th. 12 schools start theirs on March 30th, just in time for me to basically miss them. :feelsree: 79 - 91 schools, at most, can I ball with. Provided they all go to South Padre.

But a staggering 328 schools have agreed in 2019 on the date of March 9th to March 17th. The de facto date. The closest thing to the TRUE Spring Break we have. AKA, when Texas Week happens. Condolences to Texas State University. And Universities of Texas at Austin and El Paso. And me. And every other school who had to settle for sloppy Spring Break seconds after everyone else fucked all over it.

But March 9th to 17th? In order for me to somehow have Spring Break and St. Patrick's Day, I would have to leave the morning of my last Spring Break day to where ever the St. Paddy's party is. That's kind of a stretch, isn't it? So, would I then have to make a choice between the two? Or can Spring Break and St. Patrick's Day coexist as part of a two holiday megaseason? Kinda like how Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's are united as part of a larger holiday season? It's not up to me. This is the world's decision to make. Irish whiskey and Mexican tequila must come together and understand that they both want to achieve the same thing, and only together can they truly make the dream work. I don't think it'll be this year. Maybe next year. As for me? This year, best I can hope for is trying to spread 77 schools over 2 square miles of island.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Character Creation" or "Stucky Crack Fix"

TL;DR:
I haven't slept since 6:30 AM yesterday, I went to that St. Patrick's Night thing and nothing really came of it. People seemed to think I was upset. I wasn't upset, but I was sleepy. But people coming up to me that night and bothering me about how I'm not cheerful enough reminds me of how it's apparently oh so sexist to tell women to smile more. Fair enough, so it's sexist to say this to a man, right? Why is no one advocating for the men who are told this? I'm a man who gets told this and no one's fighting for me like women are being fought for. I also wonder, what did I expect from that night? What kind of relationships with women do I expect? Normally a man is taller than a woman, and that sets up the character dynamics between them. So I look into what the character dynamics would be between a short person like myself, and any potential woman I could ever be with because they're all taller than me. While I'm on the subject of who I am as a person, I can't shake the concern that I have no hobbies. I thought I might really be into movies, but noticing how I don't seem to be as excited about the new Avengers trailer as everyone else, maybe I don't like it as much as I think. I need something that I can get as excited about as the rest of the fanbase. I have no posters on my wall, I need something I would buy posters for. And novelty shirts. But I own nothing that expresses my tastes. Because I can't decide on what expresses my tastes. I thought I had a thing going with my dream stove, but I don't think I do. Maybe because I don't really know what my tastes are. Maybe I'm not excited about things because I need to de-stress. Maybe I'm not excited about things because I'm not surrounded by enough people to hype me up. Or maybe I just need to relax and let myself gravitate toward what excites me.

I'm so sleepy I can barely function. I got no sleep, I've been up for... God, I can barely count. 39 hours, at least? St. Paddy's Night was a bust. Not unlike that time I went to that Halloween fetish party last year.



People would come up to me and ask me if I was okay, and that I looked "not okay." And that I should get into things more because it's St. Patrick's Day or whatever. Of the women that spoke to me, I wasn't able to turn whatever interest or concern they had for me into a hookup. So a fat ass of good that did me. Also, I wasn't okay. I was sleepy. And I think I was the only one. I don't understand it, there were people there older than I was, so it's not my age. But everyone looked fine while I was the only one struggling to stay afloat. Was everyone but me on drugs or something?

Personally, I don't mind being approached by people, even if it doesn't turn into sex with girls. I could use the attention. But what I hate is the double standard for when a man is approached by someone vs. when a woman is approached by someone. Looksmax (and its family of forums) probably doesn't really keep tabs on mainstream stuff, but there's this Captain Marvel movie, right? It's a self-professed "feminist piece." Self-professed. So you're not "jumping to conclusions" when that last scene felt a little "on the nose" about something you can't quite place. And it references the microaggression of men, only men, telling women, only women, to "smile more." Because the world is black and white like that. You've probably heard this talked about before, or joked about before. Stop me if you've heard this one, old-fashioned sexist senator walks into a session and tells his female peer "You'd be a lot prettier if you smiled more." But hold on, thinks I, women aren't the only ones being told to smile more, and men aren't the only ones doing the approaching and telling. Captain Marvel isn't even the only superhero to be told to smile more. Remember how we all bitched about Superman not smiling enough? Then Joss Whedon got his mid-2000s randomcore fanfic hands on him and turned him into another one of his cartoon characters by Justice League? Surely if it's not cool for Captain Marvel, it's not cool for Supes either, right? If it's not cool for women on the street, it's not cool for me at the bus stop, right? So why is this still talked about like it's men harassing women and nothing else? Why are men so underrepresented here? Why are we not all part of the dialogue? Why are we not all being fought for?

This isn't a new concern with me, this has been bugging me for a while. So I took it to Purple Pill Debate.


People told Superman to smile more, and that was considered a valid concern. No one said it was sexist. So can't people have valid concerns when telling Captain Marvel to smile more? Or a female senator/page? Or me? Or you? But the response came back "There's almost never a good reason to tell me to smile if I don't want to. I don't need to smile more." Okay then, so I don't need to smile more either, right? Nor Superman? We agree that it's sexist? And so somebody needs to start telling late night monologue jokes about bad women telling good men to smile more? But the response came back "They're telling YOU to smile for good reasons. It's acceptable to ask you to smile in that context. They're telling ME to smile for bad reasons. They want me to be pretty. They want you to be happy. Wanting people to be pretty is selfish. Wanting people to be happy is generous. And if you're at a party, you should smile." First of all, does this mean if I approach a woman at a party and suggest she smile, that's NOT harassment? Because I would go as far to say no, I could not get away with that. Not like people get away with it with me. Second of all, where are these people getting this assumption of their intentions? If there IS a potentially generous intent behind wanting someone to smile more, how do they know that the smile requesting man on the street doesn't mean well? Furthermore, if there's a bad intent behind wanting someone to smile more, what makes these people think men aren't subject to that? What makes these people think I'm not subject to that? O ugly brethren, if you can hear me. How "generous" is it for people to want you to smile more or whatever because your face looks threatening? How is that so removed from "Smile more, it'll make you pretty and that will please me?" How is "Smile more/look less threatening, your ethnicity/cranial structure/etc. is not pleasing to me and you should do something to make me more comfortable around you" not equally unfair? Some people go on to say "Yeah but men don't have it NEAR as bad as women have it! Men don't get judged for their looks like women do!" Ugly brethren, let me ask you. How often do you feel like you're judged for your looks? How often do you feel like people are off put by your not smiling or generally looking scowly and on edge? Therein lies the cinnamon core of the bullshit. This thinking that men just don't have it bad enough for their concerns to matter like women's concerns matter. We don't get an empowerment movement telling us not to be held back by women. We don't get a Dove commercial. We don't get any late night monologue jokes raising us up at the expense of women in society, or their toxic, fragile femininity. Because everyone just decided we don't have it bad enough. Everyone just assumed men don't suffer too. That we're just looking for a way to become victims. That "Men have enough stuff."

Fellas. Make me a promise. If anyone is dissatisfied with the way you look, whether they're intimidated by you or think they're complimenting you, do NOT let that shit go. If women don't have to let it go, you're owed the same bitchiness. Being judged for your looks is being judged for your looks, no matter what that judgement is. Maybe you don't get it verbally because you're so intimidating that people give you a wide berth. But if the sexism here is that we're judging women for their looks, judging someone, a man, for looking intimidating, is the same as judging him for his looks. Or, if I can frame it a little more polemic-wise, as offensive as it is to say "That woman should smile more, I don't like stern women," it is JUST as offensive to think "That black man should smile more, I'm afraid of him because of my prejudices." Even if you don't say it to him directly out of fear. Or maybe he's not black. Maybe he's white, but still scary looking. Keep this to heart, and maybe someday we'll get an empowerment campaign.

Because I probably can't be trusted to keep it to heart. If a group of women had headhunted me at that pub last night and said "We're looking for guys to invite to the afterparty, but you need to smile!?" I would've shown them every tooth, batted every lash, and called off work the next day. If social justice is for everyone I shouldn't have to convince the warriors to fight for me. But nothing like that happened last night. But then again, what did I expect to come of that night? What "potential" do I have? What are my options for being with someone? I've come to a fun way of thinking about that...

Lemme just be honest with ya, I don't know what's soy and what's based and what's just fine. So I'm gonna come right out and say it: I've been looking at TV Tropes. Why? Because I'm a small guy. I'm 5 foot 5. And of all the things I don't like about my body, of all the things about me that make me feel insecure, my height is second only to my age. Wait, no, me being bald is pretty up there. And lemme just be real, I'm good at coping. Did you see that thread about Chuando Tan?


He's older than I am but looks like a college student. Imagine, walking the sands of South Padre looking like that but actually being over 50 years old. How could anyone tell the difference between you and any other kid? So I hear stories like that and think "Well maybe there's something I can eat, some fitness regimen I can undertake to boymaxx." So maybe age isn't as high up on the insecurity food chain as I think. But then, I can't really boymaxx being as bald as I am. My height might help, but even if I can somehow de-age, it's gonna take a lot of broccoli to grow this hair back. But wait, did you hear about that new hair regrowth treatment?


Only side effect so far is that your eyes turn red. So if baldness and other rigors of old age aren't a factor, that just leaves being short as my most major hurdle. And I probably need to be short to take advantage of the boymaxxing tactic. But even if I did grow the hair back... what if it's genetics? Those Far East Asians, like @SeiGun said, maybe the Fountain of Youth isn't in Florida. Maybe it's the fish, I hear they're culturally strict about diet over there. I dunno. Look, between being short, bald, and old, I don't know which depresses me more. Facts of the matter are, Dove won't be making any commercials for me any time soon. Men apparently can't suffer from insecurity. Men can't suffer from feeling like they don't have value as people. Women don't make men feel insecure or like they don't have value, it's the other way around. It's a patriarchy where only women are put upon and men don't have any standards to live up to. Women don't hold men to physical standards. Women don't judge men by their looks and other superficial characteristics that men shouldn't, or in most cases can't change. Men have enough representation. Men have enough advocacy. Men have enough commercials. Men have enough stuff. Men are living in paradise and any man who complains about feeling underrepresented is just trying to make himself into a victim and men can't be victims of anything. That's why we make fun of voting mothers who stick up for their sons. That's why commercials for women say "Love your body and screw the world for not loving your body too," but commercials for men say "Everything sucks and it's your fault, man. How dare you find that woman attractive? How dare you approach her? You should see her as a person, not a woman! You don't see women approaching men, do you? Only men approach women."

I think that's pretty much all I had to say about that. Anyway, if I'm ever gonna be with a woman, she's not gonna be my height. Overwhelming odds suggest she's probably gonna be taller than me. What kind of relationship would that be though? What are the "character dynamics" of each person in the relationship? Take a relationship where the guy is taller than the girl. The tropes of that kind of relationship are clear; they're the perks that these lucky women brag about. Feeling protected in his big strong arms. He's the protector, she's the protected. Wearing his clothes that are too big for you, to feel his embrace when he's gone. Breathe deep of his scent. Resting your head on his chest. Popping up on your feet to kiss him. That's not just my machismo talking, I'm not the one who said these were things a man needed to be. Women said these things first. But what dynamics exist when the man is short and the woman is tall? Enter what TV Tropes calls the "Tiny Guy, Huge Girl" trope.


A list of examples where a Wolverine was shacked up with a She-Hulk. Now, you might be thinking "This is stupid, you're looking at examples from fiction to gauge how your real reality is supposed to play out." But the whole reason we have these tropes, the whole reason characters are written a certain way, is because of our societal stereotypes and expectations. The very real standards of society inform these tropes. Short men are written a certain way because that's how writers, in reality, see short men. So this page tells me which "roles" I can play in life as a turbomanlet. I went through them all, and it seems my options are to either boymaxx and be a pretty boy, drink deep of the soy and be a milquetoast, dwarfmaxx and be gruff and manly, although short, like Wolverine, or somehow pull off a miracle a la Tyrion Lannister and bed lots of whores while being the ugliest man in Westeros. I can get ahead using my brain, my smart aleck wit, my Napoleonesque insecurities, or just being really strong. As far as women, my only option is to get bodied by a Glamazon. Because that's the dynamic she automatically assumes being bigger than me. Maybe she likes me because I'm cute, in the way that a child is cute. And she can make all sorts of funny snarks and quips about how short I am. Head pats are in my future, if I find a woman who likes me.

Now, critics will probably say "You're ignoring all of the examples on the page where the man just happened to be shorter than the woman, but it didn't inform their character dynamics. The man was short, the woman was tall, but there was no irony implied in the relationship. She wasn't the dominatrix fatale to his greasy pervert worm. He wasn't the henpecked husband to her manipulative browbeating rolling pin brandishing Lady Macbeth. He wasn't the subhuman who managed to pull off the impossible. She wasn't the thuggish troll to his bookish halfling. They were just people who happened to be different heights. And what's with you clinging to stereotypes anyway? You just got done complaining about the stereotype that the only victims are women and the only microaggravators are men. If it's unfair to assume that the suffering man isn't out there somewhere, isn't it unfair to assume that all women prefer tallboys, and the ones that don't only like stubby boys because they want someone to lean over smugly?" That's true. I'm sure they're out there, the women who don't subscribe to these stereotypes. There's all kinds of people out there. But there are also women out there who DO subscribe to these stereotypes. These character dynamics exist. Maybe they aren't good, but if there wasn't something implied by the short guy/tall girl pairing, why is there something implied by the short girl/tall guy pairing? Society establishes standards about everything. That's why pandas are cute and blobfish are not. Why sharks are scary and blobfish are not. Why blobfish are ugly and most other animals are not.

Critics might then say "So superficial people exist in the world. Racist people exist in the world. Why put up with their racism? Why not find someone who sees past the superficial and likes you even though you're short?" First of all, I'm glad you think that superficiality is bad, maybe you could fight for me against the standards women hold me to like you fight for women and the standards men hold them to. Second, I want the superficial. What are these nonconformist women and I supposed to do together? Love each other for our minds? That's not what I want. I want to like and be liked for physical reasons. So to be told "Looks aren't important to me, I see past your looks and like you as a person" is dissatisfying. I'm not looking for anyone to admire as a person. I'm looking for someone to get turn't with. WYATT gets to do both, I bet. Which is fine! But I need to be liked for my body. Enjoy my mind, have at it, but if there isn't a physical attraction, I don't want in. So do I settle for being liked as a midget? That's physical. But lemme ask the women this: Would they settle for being liked as a fat chick? I mean, would you want to be liked because of how fat you are? Some women do. Some women play to the fat fetish thing. Hell, some men play to the small dick fetish thing. But is this good? How many normal women out there would do this? I don't wanna be the short guy for the same reason a lot of women out there don't wanna be the fat chick. Or, as I opened with, the taller-than-her-man chick. Maybe I'm wrong for not wanting to be short. Maybe these women are wrong for not wanting to be tall. Maybe these women are wrong for not appreciating being fat. But I sure wish people gave my plight as much thought as a woman's plight. If a woman is upset with how lanky she is or how round she is, society rushes to her side and says "This is The Patriarchy's fault! She only needs to look a certain way because The Patriarchy won't let her get ahead in life without looking that way!" And if she says "No, this is a self-esteem issue, I just feel un-pretty" then society says "Then what we need to do is affirm what Real Beauty® is! We need to teach the world that you're beautiful as you are! And we'll start by teaching you." Maybe I'm dysmorphic from the ground up. But the most help I can get is standard treatment. My dysmorphia isn't fought as a men's issue brought about by the unfair standards put on me by women at St. Paddy's Night. Maybe I don't smile because I'm self-conscious about how I look when I smile. I'd like to look the way they want me to, but maybe the social justice movement should come to my defense and tell these women no, I have the right to not smile, and start asking women to be more mindful of what they say to men. Lest they microaggress me.

While I'm on the subject of my potential soylency, the final Avengers: The Last Avengers trailer debuted a few days ago. I was pretty positive I was gonna see that movie, and I still am pretty positive I'm gonna see that movie, but this whole James Gunn thing, man, and this double standard about who can be asked to smile? It's gonna bug me. It's gonna bug me that I can't fight this very well. But what am I gonna do, not watch it? I tend to see most movies. Seeing new movies is kind of one my hobbies. Or at least I like to think it is. Something's becoming increasingly obvious as I see all the reaction and fallout from the new trailer dropping: I watch a lot of movies, but I don't think I actually like movies all that much?

That's bad news. Because I've been struggling for a long time now being able to answer the question "What do you like to do for fun?" Sounds like a simple question, but when I think about it, I realize I don't do much of anything. My co-workers tend to ask me "Anything new with you? Any plans for the weekend?" And there's just nothing. I don't "do" anything. How is that possible? What have I been doing all my life? Nothing??? The fact that I'm devoid of a personality is a problem on its own, but this is mostly a problem because I need to be able to answer that question if I wanna talk to girls and then have sex with them.Some might say "No you don't, she can't talk with your cock in her mouth." But how are we supposed to interact? Even if our relationship is strictly business, calling me in like a plumber, I show up, I lay pipe, and then I move on to the next client no pleasantries or nothin', we have to first establish that relationship. And in order to establish that relationship we need to talk, and in order to talk we need to be able to talk about something. If I can brag for a split second, I think I'm a pretty good listener. If other people wanna talk to me, ask me stuff, I think I could do that. Because I'm letting them lead the conversation. But if they ever say "So tell me about yourself" then it's ogre. I have no "self" to tell them about. And I've run into this problem before, on Tinder. Back when Anselm the Incelfish got matches. So many profiles are filled with "This is my hobby and that's my hobby and I'm looking for someone to do this hobby with me! ?" They wanna go out and do stuff, at least at first. So I gotta be able to go out and do stuff with them, and have a good time doing it. But if I'm not into that thing, how can I? Say I meet a woman who wants to go to concerts. I say sure, let's go see whatever band you wanna see. We go, I stand around, she does whatever people who like concerts do at concerts. I'm assuming it's "stand around." Because I didn't enjoy myself, that affects her time. We didn't have a good time. And that's the last I'll ever see of her. I need to have some kind of personality to offer. Or maybe "personality" is the wrong word. I dunno. But it's a lot like if I was to ever be friends with WYATT. If I'm making friends, with benefits or without, what I need to be able to do is do whatever friends do with friends. And whatever that is, all I know right now is that that I'm not capable of much aside from sleeping.

And so, back when I was doing Tinder, I was racking my brain, swiping and just finding myself unable to make anything happen in person with any of these women. Well, no matter what nothing could happen in person, because Anselm is an Incelfish. But I'm looking for a woman who, if I wasn't Incelfishing, I could've done something with. And one of the women said, in their profile, that she was looking for someone to watch the next Avengers movie with. And that reminded me, oh yeah, I watch a lot of movies, don't I? Movies, that's a thing I could talk about, that's a thing I could do with people, go see movies. I can do that with friends, I can do that with potential dates, yes, chalk up "Movies" as one of my hobbies. So I'm pretty sure movies are my thing. But then this Avengers trailer drops. And everybody get haipu. All the usual YouTube critics are putting up their trailer review videos and everyone on social media is like...


And don't get me wrong, Cap's "jump on a grenade" level of heroic is a quality I admire. But I don't get excited like other people do. I see that in the trailer and my reaction is "Ah, this movie's gonna be fun." While everyone else is like "nooOOOOOO ASKJIHSLDASK STEVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IM SCREAMING?!?!!?!???!!?!??!?!!!??" If I really did like this movie, I should be excited like everyone else. And if I don't like this movie, but still wanna say I like movies, I should be excited about some kind of movie, right? Or angry about a bad one? But I'm just not that invested or insightful as the REAL fans and the REAL critics of cinema. People who are really into movies. Bird Box. I saw Bird Box. And I didn't know it was bad until other people told me it was bad. Me? I was just happy to have something to watch. But if I was somebody who was really invested in cinema, I probably would've reacted to it more. But I didn't react. It was something moderately interesting to watch. Like just about every movie I've ever seen. If I was a real fan of movies, I would've known that Bird Box was bad and would've had some observations to make about that. But I watch this, and I don't even know what "bad" to look for. It's "just a movie" to me. And that's more or less how all movies are to me. If I had to list all of my potential reactions to a movie from best to worst, they'd probably be something like...

Had Moments I'm Definitely Gonna Rewatch On YouTube
Something To Watch
Boring
Made Me Angry For Some Reason


I'm rarely, if ever, truly moved by a movie. If not movies, I need something to get excited about, or angry about. That's what normal people have, right? Things they get excited about? Wasn't I excited a while ago about buying a new stove? I guess I was, picking out a stove that was truly "me," but now I'm just about totally committed to spending what money I could save for a new stove on South Padre. Say you asked me to envision what kind of kitchen I would invite friends/women over to see, I couldn't answer that for you. Same as how I can't answer what I like to do for fun.

My walls have no posters. I have no decor anywhere around my house. I don't have any of the things normal people have to express themselves or their interests. People tend to put things up on their walls or around their house as a reflection of their personality or hobbies or style. Have you heard of this Boomer/Zoomer/Doomer thing? If you haven't, it's this meme or whatever going around that started on 4chan's /fit/ board. A "Boomer" is basically anyone too old to be into the current trends. A "Zoomer" is someone who is young enough to be into the current trends. The "Z" in Zoomer stands for "Generation Z." And a Doomer is just a depressed person. Dispenser of The Blackpill. I think the Doomer belongs either to its own meme universe, or as the foil to the Bloomer. A happy, positive person who rejects The Blackpill. He takes pleasure in leisure. He believes in joy. He Enjoys What He Does. But disregarding the Bloomer, you typically get these Zoomer/Boomer/Doomer memes like these.



A house with an upstairs/attic for the Zoomer, a downstairs for the Boomer, and a basement for the Doomer. And the decor, the music, etc, it all reflects the style and personality of each "character." And the fun is looking at the Zoomer and Boomer and Doomer (and oftentimes Bloomer) in the memes they're featured in, comparing and contrasting them, and seeing which one fits you. But I look at this and I'm like "I'm old, but I don't really identify with the Boomer. I don't have any hobbies and I can't think of anything I would put on my walls." I can't decide on what kinds of clothes I like to wear, so I don't have a style of clothing either. My desktop background? Black and blank. I couldn't decide on a background that was "me" so made it black and blank. Ideally I'd like a background, theme, and hardware that all fits my personality just like my clothes should fit my personality. I'd like a whole kitted out battlestation that really speaks to who I am. But I'm kinda like a non-person. Or if I am a person, I haven't figured out who I am. So I wouldn't know what color shirt to wear or whether or not to get a rainbow light-up keyboard or what kind of stove to get.

Maybe I don't get hyped for things like other people get hyped for things because of stress? Maybe I need to get my house in order before I can truly take pleasure in leisure. Maybe I'd have a better time of it if I didn't have a perpetual to-do list. To just come home one day, and have nothing to worry about. No looming obligation, no "TV Dinner" before me. No "TV Dinner" moment, I mean. Like I talked about in "Who Will Wind The Clock While I Am Gone?" Or maybe other people get more hyped is because other people have... other people to get hyped with. I mean, people Tweeting, they Tweet because they have people who read their Tweets, they're part of a community of fans that interacts, right? Maybe if these people were lonelier, they wouldn't be as excitable when it comes to Captain Steve "America" Rogers. And the issue of me not having posters on my wall or a swanky battlestation or smooth duds that speak to my personality, I think the reason I don't have these things, again, is because no one's gonna see them. Why do I need posters on my walls if no one's gonna see my walls? If I was a video game fan, would I buy a shelf full of physical copies of games, and Amiibos, and retro game consoles, and put on a shirt that matches the game I'm about to play? Not unless I was a Twitcher or a YouTuber or someone I was regularly showing off my gamesmanship to. Because that's all decoration for a film set. It's not natural. If no one's gonna see me? All I need is a console, the game, and the input to play it. I don't need a shirt themed after the game, I don't need a poster, I don't need anything that only matters if someone sees it. And I think this "No one's gonna see it" ethic has permeated my life. My clothes, for instance. People obviously are gonna see my clothes. But who are these people? Co-workers? People on the street? Am I trying to impress them? No, I have no reason to dress up for them. No one that matters will see my fancy video game shirt. Or shirt from my favorite YouTube channel, or whatever. You dress up as a social gesture. But if you have no social life, it doesn't matter what you wear. Long as you're covering all of the parts you need to cover.

But if I was to live a life where I dressed up and had a battlestation and my friends/some people out in the world actually saw it, I'd like to know what I'd wear. And what my battlestation would look like. I'd like to know what styles are "me." But I've just never been able to figure it out. I guess it started back during my childhood. I asked myself "What's my favorite color?" And I put a lot of thought into it. Thought about what each color represented. What I needed out of a color. When I was a kid there were a lot of team-based action shows on TV, where each character had a broad personality and that influenced the importance of me picking the right color. Way I saw it, each color was like a member in the colossal team that was the collection of all the colors. And I had to pick the one that was me so that, by proxy, I knew which Thundercat I was or which Ninja Turtle I was. Maybe I'm so borderline anhedonic because I haven't found myself? Like I talked about in "What Type of Mage are You?" Knowing myself is probably key. And maybe I've arrested my own development by deliberating and pondering over which doughnut I should pick, instead of just picking a doughnut and learning from experience. Maybe I should let myself just gravitate towards what calls me. Maybe if I just wait, something will come to me that excites me. My dad is big into that "Law of Attraction" stuff. Going with the flow of the universe. But then, my dad's example is maybe not one to follow. He's too mellow. And what I want is to be excited about something. I wanna be excited to get to do something. I wanna be heartbroken when I don't get to do something. And right now, I'm more or less stable. And if there's anything to take away from my ramblings here, it's that I'm bored by stability.
 
The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Mewing crime boss
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
1,672
Fuck the cuck fathers for sending these girls to THOT indoctrination class. A lot are whores when they go but theres a few who are not, but they leave as one. Men's sense of duty to a woman is his weakness, a woman's is her need to fit in.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Fuck the cuck fathers for sending these girls to THOT indoctrination class. A lot are whores when they go but theres a few who are not, but they leave as one. Men's sense of duty to a woman is his weakness, a woman's is her need to fit in.
You don't want any Alpha Omicron Pie?
 
The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Mewing crime boss
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
1,672
The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Mewing crime boss
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
1,672
I think most people around here wouldn't either. But damn, if that's not livin', what is???
I dont think you understand. I'm not saying no based off principle. These thots boasting about sucking a lot of cock turns me off.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
I dont think you understand. I'm not saying no based off principle. These thots boasting about sucking a lot of cock turns me off.
I know, you and probably most of Looksmax and Incels.is are genuinely disgusted by this, but... if not this, what would you rather have? In your idealest of ideals?
 
SeiGun

SeiGun

ルックスマクサー
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
1,560
so longgggggg, your posts are so longggggg
 
The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Mewing crime boss
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
1,672
I know, you and probably most of Looksmax and Incels.is are genuinely disgusted by this, but... if not this, what would you rather have? In your idealest of ideals?
31932
31933

The most ideal thing would be to have a women care about me with a passion. I dont need a super model. One day I hope a woman looks at me like this but we know that wont happen.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
View attachment 31932View attachment 31933
The most ideal thing would be to have a women care about me with a passion. I dont need a super model. One day I hope a woman looks at me like this but we know that wont happen.
A good dream to have. Probably the only sustainable kind of life, in the long run. This is what the mature man wants out of life.

But I'm not a man!!! I'm a BOY!!! I'm Sam Kinison breaking out of his evangelist past life, I wanna try it all!!! And I'll probably die like Kinison did. Of my vices. If I'm ever lucky enough that the vices will choose me.

so longgggggg, your posts are so longggggg
But I have so many thoughts! Where should I put them all?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Spring Cleaning" or "Mellow Ranger"

TL;DR:
Today is Purim, AKA Jewish Halloween. But it's also "the start of spring" according to the astronomic/astrological calendar. Which I disagree with. But I do consider it spring now, and I find myself kickstarted by spring's presence to tackle some tasks I meant to do. One of those tasks was clearing out my closet. And in it I found a bunch of old notes that I saved from my childhood. Character sheets for "original characters" that I dreamt up for shows I watched and stuff. I discuss the self-auditing process that comes with envisioning yourself as an original character. Also, there's this cashier that I see semi-frequently at McDonald's, and every time I see her I have a beard. But today I shaved it, and she seemed noticeably less happy. Does this mean dwarfmaxxing is the answer? In addition to cleaning my closet and cleaning the hair off of my face, I decided to tackle this stove situation and I've decided/discovered that hot plates are a suitable replacement. I only ever wanted the full stove for the mood it represented. I wanted the cozy feel for cold weather but now that the weather is warm, I'm in the mood for other things. But notice, I only ever get "in the mood" for things. I don't get "excited" for things. I seem to be a mellow person. Probably because of my digit ratio. Do you know about digit ratio? There are no threads for it here, but there's plenty on Lookism. And I learned that I have a high digit ratio. Which means I'm full of estrogen and have woman hands. Suddenly a lot of things are making sense. I think I should take action, if I can.

New page? 60 posts per page, I think it is, so #61 should take us to a fresh new page. I wanna thank the people who came by and posted so we could get to the next page and away from the older posts that were stretching the page. Now we can start fresh, on a page where all of the entries are spoiler tagged. Nice, organized, convenient, not stretched out and hogging browser memory.

It's the Vernal Equinox. Or as most people call it, the start of spring. I don't necessarily consider this the start of spring though. From an astronomical/astrological standpoint, sure. But functionally? No. I go by the calendar that society goes by. Like the start of summer. Some might say it's the Summer Solstice. But that's backwards, and for a few reasons. They picked that day because it's "the longest day." When the Northern Hemisphere is tilted the most towards the sun or whatever. The logic behind that is "All of those other days before the Summer Solstice weren't long enough or hot enough to count as summer. It only starts being summer when the day gets THIS long and THIS hot." Problem with that is, after the Summer Solstice the Earth starts to tip in the other direction, making the long, slow trek towards autumn. It's not like the days get longer or hotter after the Summer Solstice, or that they even stay the same. They start getting shorter and colder. As short and as cold as the days BEFORE the Solstice that we, for some reason, didn't consider long and hot enough to be summer. So how does that make sense? How is the 14th not hot/long enough to be summer because it's not as hot/long as the 21st, but the 28th IS hot/long enough to be summer even though the 28th is just as far from the 21st as the 14th is? Summer Solstice isn't the beginning of summer. Summer Solstice is the beginning of the end of summer. That's what I say! And it's what society says too. You know when we actually consider it summer? Memorial Day. At the LATEST.

But you get my point. It's not even summer right now. It's spring. And I feel myself coming out of a thaw. Not "excited," but I'm coming out of hibernation. Or maybe it's the long sleep I took last night. I'm getting organized, I'm tackling stuff I meant to do. I was cleaning out my closet, right? And I found all these old notes and sheets from way back when. Because I tend to never throw anything away. These are over 30 years old, they are. Talk about "Character Creation," I used to come up with original characters for shows and stuff I enjoyed back when I was a kid. Whatever happened to that part of me? Know what I think happened? I think it went away after I started watching less TV. Because I would watch TV and I would think to myself "What would I say in these scenarios that I see on TV? If I was in that group and that thing just now was said, what would 'my character' say? Between Sadie Mae & Googie, how is Shaggy pulling so much slay? Isn't he supposed to be a loser? Man, if that had been me?" I understand this is kind of a no-no in the creative community. Kind of a no-no. The mark of self-indulgent Mary Sues, Sonic the Hedgehog kink deviants, and Randy Stair. I guess what I'm saying is, Chad doesn't do this. But how about you? Did you ever do this? I don't mean "Did you put work into it" either. I mean entertain the notion of you, somehow, reaching out and touching the worlds of the shows you watch or the books you read or the games you play. For me, it involved a lot of thinking about who I am and what my style is. Let's take Power Rangers, for instance. I didn't watch very much of it because it was a little after my time, but say I wanted to be a Power Ranger. I'd need to ask myself "What would my Zord be?" What Zord would represent me? I'd probably need some kind of animal. But what animal is "me?" And then when I figure out what my animal is, if I wanna make a character for some other show that depends on having an animal token represent you, I'm ready to go. Like Animorphs. Which I never saw. But if I knew what my Power Rangers Zord was, I probably knew what my Animorphs go-to morph would be. And if I really liked that animal, I could incorporate it into my style and home decor. Or let's try something newer. There's a lot of anime nowadays set in schools, right? Say you went to one of those schools. How would you fit in? Where would you be when that group of girls who hangs back before or after class gets to gossiping about whatever? And maybe I'm mistaken, but these these school animes are rarely every just about school. Something plotwise tends to happen. There used to be this one anime, for instance. Code Geass. @Extra Chromosome knows what I'm talking about, right? I only caught glimpses of it in and out when it was on Adult Swim, but I'm pretty sure it was a school anime too. But the twist was, it was a school anime set in an alternate future where the British Empire never falls and just keeps colonizing everything, including Japan. And one of the kids at the school is part of the British royal family, who also becomes a magic terrorist who frees Japan from it's silent but dignified suffering at the hands of the big bad white people. Or some shit. What if you were a student at that school? Would you have magic? Because the guy wasn't the only one with magic. So your character can have magic too, I guess. Say you're kickin' it on the quad at your school in British Occupied Japan when all of a sudden a big knight-shaped robot zips down the street and an explosion goes off out of sight. What are you doing? Are you on the phone with your mom asking her to come pick you up? I don't know if that's from one of the episodes, but it sounds like it would be. Would you get involved with the dream of liberating Japan? Would you stand with crown and country and go goon squad on the rebels? @Extra Chromosome could probably tell you more about the show. But if you don't know the show, ask yourself this: What fantasy roleplay class would you have? How about that? Or what job would you have on an interstellar cruiser/space station? Have you ever asked yourself that?

Speaking of reflections of your inner self, know what else today is? Purim. Spring brings a bevy of Judeo-Christian spring festivals, and Purim is the spookiest. "Jewish Halloween" they call it.

Oh wait! I forgot about Mardi Gras! That was earlier this month! That's another "Judeo-Christian spring festival." Part of the Shrovetide. But it's also a time of heathenism. Like Spring Break and St. Patrick's Day. I forgot to factor Mardi Gras into that. So now I gotta ask, how could I have Mardi Gras, Spring Break, and St. Patrick's Day? Well, it's not always held so close to Spring Break, but this year it was. March 5th. So, if I was equipped to take advantage of Spring Break, what I could've done was stopped at Mardi Gras in New Orleans in the middle. On my way to South Padre. A la Ramblin' Man.

Okay but anyway, Purim. We're in the midst of a lot of holidays like these, hence why all of the megachurch parking lots have been packed to the rim in my area. But Purim is special. Jewish Halloween. And a full moon rises over it this year. In the spirit of Purim, I wore a new face today. As in, I shaved my beard. I haven't really had the strength to shave my beard recently, I've been so sleepy/busy with stuff. But I was finally able to make time to shave. Here's the thing though. It being the early goings of spring, it's still kinda brisk outside, especially in the morning. And when you're walking around outside in brisk air, your nose starts to run. So I like to stop by this McDonald's to grab some napkins to blow my nose. And usually when I go in there there's this cashier who greets me very cheerfully. Visibly charmed to see me, and charming me as a result. But today I go in, face shaved? Doesn't seem that happy to see me. Did I turn her off by shaving? Now, critics will say the usual: Don't look too deeply into the friendliness of cashiers. Being friendly is their job, they're not trying to do sex on you. And I'm not saying she is. But people's moods affect how they act. It is possible and likely for a cashier, whatever their job, to be genuinely pleased by one customer, but struggling to put on the face for another customer. You say being friendly is her job? Okay, so why did she choose to not be friendly today? No cashier is 100% all the time. Something affected her. Question is, was it the truth of my unshaven face that she now has to live with for the rest of her life? We'll see next time I see her, I guess. Maybe she was just having a bad start to her day. Maybe the well oiled McDonald's machine was giving her issues that morning. Or maybe she was sleepy. If she's still unhappy to see me, we know what the truth is. But then, even if she is chipper next time, does that necessarily mean my face didn't affect her? If being chipper is her job, she has to get back in the game, right? She can't let the horror of my unshaven face keep her down. My unshaven face took her by surprise. It disappointed her. But she shook it off and powered through, because that's what going to work is all about. Moral of that story? I think I know which direction I should go on the Manlet Character Dynamic spectrum I was talking about in "Character Creation." Beard. Probably should go in the bearded direction. The "Dwarfmaxxing" direction.

Speaking of it being spring, and speaking of tackling obligations, I'm looking into making moves on this stove. And I've been thinking, I really needed that stove mostly in winter, right? Now it's spring. Now it's starting to warm up. And my mood is shifting towards "light" and "cool." When I had it in my head that I was gonna get a whole new stove, it was the mood of the season talking. I wanted a stove because I wanted the warmth and coziness it represented. I was thinking of warm kitchens in harvest golds, avocado greens, and burnt oranges. It was the setting I wanted. But now I don't want that setting. So now I'm not really feeling this potential new stove. What am I feeling? This thing.


I used to think hot plates were for poor people, like me. A temporary mid-step towards getting a real stove. But apparently hot plates/induction burners are what sophisticated kitchens are using now. And in the future. It's less cozy classical, and it doesn't solve the problem of what these kitchens are gonna do when they need to bake something, but as the weather warms I'm not in the mood for baking. I'll cross the baking bridge later. If I need to allocate money elsewhere, I can safely do that for now without worrying about the stove/oven. I already have hot plates, and hot plates are apparently good enough for upscale restaurants if all I need is a stove component. Yeah, their hot plates are a little fancier than mine. A little fancier. But the takeaway here is that hot plates as a concept are now in vogue. Or maybe I'm just saying this because I want an excuse to not save money for a stove. So I can use it to go to South Padre. "Oh, a stove would be a waste of money! I have a hot plate! So if I have this money, why not spend it on South Padre?" But it's true, I've taken on new tastes for spring. In the cold weather you could've tempted me with evocative words like "hearty" and "wholesome." And my mind would go to hearty and wholesome bowls of oatmeal or something. Ahhhhhh. Hot chocolate. Ahhhhhh. Warm cider. Ahhhhhh. Y'know, I'm starting to realize something. I get "in the mood" for things, but I don't get "excited" for things. And that's a problem for me. Because I did say in the last post that I wanted to get "excited" about stuff. Am I excited about South Padre? If I couldn't go, would I be upset, or would I just shrug at it? Hm. I must really want this, otherwise I wouldn't make excuses for money to go. Skipping buying a new stove so I can go. But when you take a season people like, other people have much more vibrant reactions to them than I do. Me, I'm like "Ahhhhhh, fall." Or "Ahhhhhh, winter." And so are lots of other people. But lots of OTHER other people are like "AAAAAAH!!! FALL!!!" Or "AAAAAAH!!! WINTER!!!" Whooping excited to see it's here. But me, I'm about as excited to see these seasons as I am excited to take a nap. It's not "excitement." It's "mellow." I'm "mellow." And some would say "mellow" is good and happy and content. But I don't wanna be mellow. I wanna be moved by something out of my mellow zone. In a good way! I want to "sow wild oats" as my mother puts it. And maybe South Padre will be that opportunity?

Speaking of thrill seeking, fresh starts, and breaking out of cold weather doldrums to tackle obligations, I decided to make an account over on Lookism.net. Why? Because I need to get as many ratings on my collection of boomer men as possible.


I wanted decile ratings for each of those men. I did get some kinds of ratings from the people in that thread, but nothing decile. So maybe Lookism will give me better luck? The only reason I'm even trying Lookism is because Reddit won't let me ask for ratings on pictures that aren't of me. So I'm hoping Lookism will be less bitch about it than Reddit. But I need to rack up 50 posts before I can post a thread with images. And that's pretty bitch. But while I was over there I heard them talking about "digit ratio."


I first heard about digit ratio on a show called "Manswers," back when a show called "Manswers" could exist. And they basically advised that men have a much greater difference in length between their ring finger and index finger than women do. As a result of testosterone exposure in the womb. And that's how you keep a look out for trans people in case they don't wanna be totally upfront with you. Now, the way I understand it, you do NOT look at your hand and see whether your ring finger sticks up more than your index finger. Because that might just be knuckle placement. What you do is you measure each finger individually, from the crease. I did that with both of my hands. And on BOTH of my hands, my index finger is actually longer than my ring finger. I have woman hands. And any women who watched Manswers those many years ago will probably remember that episode and think "Oh jeez, how's she supposed to fuck me without a dick?" And the news only gets worse for me. My girl hands basically consign me to girl traits. "Personality traits correlated with digit ratio, higher being more feminized" says Wikipedia. Now it all makes sense. Why I'm so not-manly. Why my dick is so small and such. Why I'm so soft. I was born this way. Does this count as a birth defect for a man? Because maybe I can qualify for hormone therapy. This shouldn't be, should it? Clipped my stride somethin' really really real. Now I don't know if I even wanna go back and get those boomer ratings. Maybe this explains why the cashier wasn't happy to see me today. My noticeable dip in masculinity threw her off. Maybe this explains why I'm such a mellow person too. If I had man hands, I might get hyped for things easier. Men with man hands apparently are easier to provoke. But me? I just want oatmeal on a cold day. And hot plates on a warm day. Do I even belong in South Padre? Maybe there's a twerking contest I can enter. :feelswah: This hasn't been a very good Purim.
 
Lifeisgood72

Lifeisgood72

Arcanologist
Joined
Jan 5, 2019
Messages
1,657
What looksmaxing have you actually done? Are you bald?
 
Extra Chromosome

Extra Chromosome

Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
8,212
Code geass is the best anime tbh btw.

Sure it is in a school setting like in most animes, but that is only to appeal to that demographic. School kids who have no power and social status would drool at the sight of a mastermind student rebelling against a global empire and his parents.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Code geass is the best anime tbh btw.

Sure it is in a school setting like in most animes, but that is only to appeal to that demographic. School kids who have no power and social status would drool at the sight of a mastermind student rebelling against a global empire and his parents.
Okay so you've seen the show. Say you went to that school as the events of the series went down. Where are you? What are you doing?

What looksmaxing have you actually done? Are you bald?
I am...

:feelsgood: Bald
:feelsmage: Old
:exited: Short
:feelsokman: Dickleted



I don't have very many looksmaxxing options. But I am interested in that RU58841 stuff to reversemy hair loss.


Right now though, I'd rather wait for someone else to try it. This could cause scalp cancer or something years down the line.

But also? I'm probably low testosterone. Looking at my fingers. Did you hear about this digit ratio stuff?
 
Extra Chromosome

Extra Chromosome

Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
8,212
Okay so you've seen the show. Say you went to that school as the events of the series went down. Where are you? What are you doing?
I would hop into the fray.
Never settle for a mediocre life.
 
jefferson

jefferson

Zephir
Joined
Aug 12, 2018
Messages
2,488
Jseus that's alot of text. You're not too old to looksmax but you're too old to go to college and not stand out.

I am...

:feelsgood: Bald
:feelsmage: Old
:exited: Short
:feelsokman: Dickleted
Not looking good. Get on some testosterone, do PE, and maybe you can betabux or fuck fat divorced roasties. Pretty grim but that's what you get for rotting for so long.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Jseus that's alot of text. You're not too old to looksmax but you're too old to go to college and not stand out.



Not looking good. Get on some testosterone, do PE, and maybe you can betabux or fuck fat divorced roasties. Pretty grim but that's what you get for rotting for so long.
When should I have started?

I would hop into the fray.
Never settle for a mediocre life.
On the side of the Empire, or the side of the terrorists?
 
jefferson

jefferson

Zephir
Joined
Aug 12, 2018
Messages
2,488
When should I have started?
Started looksmaxxing?

Straight out of the womb ideally, but mid 20's would have worked in terms of going to college and partying. But now that's long gone. Just make the best with what you have. Get on testosterone asap.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Started looksmaxxing?

Straight out of the womb ideally, but mid 20's would have worked in terms of going to college and partying. But now that's long gone. Just make the best with what you have. Get on testosterone asap.
Mid-20s I wasn't bald yet, so I didn't have that to worry about. Nothing I could've done about my dick, nothing I could've done about my height, and I also wasn't old yet.
 
jefferson

jefferson

Zephir
Joined
Aug 12, 2018
Messages
2,488
Mid-20s I wasn't bald yet, so I didn't have that to worry about. Nothing I could've done about my dick, nothing I could've done about my height, and I also wasn't old yet.
Yeah that's why it would have worked (too late now). And you could always extend/jelq/clamp for your dick.

But more what I'm saying is you should have gone to college and done what you wanted to do when you were in your mid-20's at the latest.
 
Lifeisgood72

Lifeisgood72

Arcanologist
Joined
Jan 5, 2019
Messages
1,657
Okay so you've seen the show. Say you went to that school as the events of the series went down. Where are you? What are you doing?



I am...

:feelsgood: Bald
:feelsmage: Old
:exited: Short
:feelsokman: Dickleted



I don't have very many looksmaxxing options. But I am interested in that RU58841 stuff to reversemy hair loss.


Right now though, I'd rather wait for someone else to try it. This could cause scalp cancer or something years down the line.

But also? I'm probably low testosterone. Looking at my fingers. Did you hear about this digit ratio stuff?
Ouch. Yeah ik about the finger thing. As for inceldom, I guess there really isn’t much you can do. Just become a monk and learn piano and travel. If you keep suicide as a viable option you might become less depressed because you know you have no expectations to keep up.

The struggle is real for people with bad genetics. It’s always been a struggle, even hundreds of years ago.
 
Extra Chromosome

Extra Chromosome

Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
8,212
On the side of the Empire, or the side of the terrorists?
On the side of the terrorists.
Would gain me the most loyalty and power.
What about you?
tbhtbh watch the show, its GOAT.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Yeah that's why it would have worked (too late now). And you could always extend/jelq/clamp for your dick.

But more what I'm saying is you should have gone to college and done what you wanted to do when you were in your mid-20's at the latest.
That's true, I did want to. I guess I just didn't know how to do it. :feelsbadman: I guess I was mentalcel'd as well? And I didn't know how to get un-mentalcel'd? Whatever my excuses are, what matters is I didn't live when I was in my prime.

Ouch. Yeah ik about the finger thing. As for inceldom, I guess there really isn’t much you can do. Just become a monk and learn piano and travel. If you keep suicide as a viable option you might become less depressed because you know you have no expectations to keep up.

The struggle is real for people with bad genetics. It’s always been a struggle, even hundreds of years ago.
Learn piano? Why piano? And why travel?

On the side of the terrorists.
Would gain me the most loyalty and power.
What about you?
tbhtbh watch the show, its GOAT.
When Lohmeyer asked who would kill Kallen, I would've volunteered. I woulda gladly died trying, smacking up that smug, self-righteous smart-mouthed fanserving piece of Eleven junkyard dog shit.

At least that makes you less likely to be autistic...
And more likely to be everything else. But also, I'm probably autistic, so the fingers didn't save me.


 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
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Messages
631
"Later, Virgins" or "XXX Marks the Spot 6: Out Of Movie Titles To Reference"

TL;DR:
Last post probably before I go to work and then to my flight. I'm going to South Padre with insecurity in my testosterone on my mind. Effeminate aspects of myself, physically and personality-wise, have come back to haunt me. I scored an ESFP on the MBTI and people tell me that's a woman's result. Now it makes sense why I got it. I should get my test levels checked. I'd like to compare them to other people's testosterone levels too. Maybe my testosterone levels would be higher if I caught up on my sleep? Question is, how do I know if I have? I talk to Reddit to see if I can find the answer.

I've been thinking about my hands a lot, and as a consequence, my testosterone. So many things are starting to add up now. Over on Incels.is there was (and maybe still is) a lot of "Take this MBTI test and post your results" threads. And you know what I got? ESFP. And the issue there wasn't how it was so different from everyone else's, the issue was that it was, according to people like @Warmest Black, a woman's result.

Stacy types are often ESFJ and ESFP. Similar with stereotypical Chads but more lean in towards T than F preference.

Weirdos / outcasts /losers rank high in introversion and intuition.
I guess I should set aside some time to go get my testosterone levels checked. Unfortunately, it won't be this month. I'm going to South Padre. I actually booked the flight and room and everything a few days ago. And because refunds don't look like an option anymore, I've just been trying to rationalize the choice. Come up with things I don't "need" to buy, so those funds can be, budget-wise and accounts-wise, retroactively allocated to South Padre. So it's been "Well I already spent the money on South Padre, was that stupid? No, it wasn't stupid. What, did I need that money for something? A stove? No, you didn't need that money for the stove, you're free to spend it." It's straight to the airport after work tomorrow. I expect this is the kind of impression I'll make on people. If anyone's still there.


Does sleep affect testosterone? Maybe my testosterone would be higher if I got more sleep. I don't gymcel, but I recently learned something interesting about lifting and things like that: Sleep is actually more important than food. And not just for lifting, but life in general. That threw me for a loop. Because Arnold Schwarzenegger always said "If you don't have enough time to lift in a day, sleep later and wake up earlier." But now I'm also hearing that Schwarzenegger was a notorious wise-ass who gave out shitty advice as a joke. To flex and mog on people. So if you were to lift? You need your sleep. Especially if you're not using steroids/are old and can't recover so good. But how do I know if I've gotten my sleep? You hear talk about "sleep debt" that accrues over time, not getting the right amount of sleep. This sleep scientist on Reddit, u/whatthefat, had this to say about it a few years back.

I'm not sure what any of that means. But it sounds like the answer is yes, you can catch up on a sleep debt, technically. If it's only a sleep debt of a few days or months, yes. But if it's years of sleep debt, no one knows, because it's unethical to test humans for that long. However, my question is, how did they know any of their subjects had caught up on sleep? What were they looking for that told them "This person is no longer sleep deprived?" Because if I can reach that state, I can know that I caught up on my sleep. I went and asked this Whatthefat person, but they aren't on Reddit constantly like some people. Probably getting sleep like a sleep scientist would. But I know that they frequent r/sleep, so I made a post there. As well as contacting them directly.


And now I wait. Y'know, if all the college kids have left South Padre and there's really nothing to do worth doing? Maybe I should use this time to catch up on my sleep. I've got all of the last dregs of March to do it. Maybe when I get back, I'll be waking up on time and at full mast and with answers to my sleep questions.

And if you have normal man hands, maybe you can tell me what your test levels are? So I have a benchmark to compare my results to?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Fool's Errand" or "South Padre Island... It's Not A Dream"

TL;DR:
I recently got back from my attempt on South Padre Island. And like the St. Patrick's Day thing and the Halloween fetish party, I was basically just standing around alone for the whole trip. I most likely arrived late, I couldn't find any of the insanity I see in South Padre Island YouTube videos. But I did suddenly start getting likes on Tinder again. But now I think I might've angered someone and gotten myself banned from Tinder. I also met a woman at a bus stop who licked my ear. I'm worried she's given me herpes. But I spent most of the trip introspecting. I had a weird dream that seemed to take place in an alternate South Padre Island that may speak to what it is I actually want out of Spring Break. But I think my issue is that I don't wanna plug a stranger that I'll never see again. I'd rather there be more sexual tension. But either way, I'm not gonna ascend anyhow unless I take some actual steps towards getting my head together. I need to figure out who I am, what I want, and how I'm going to get it.

Yesterday was April Fool's Day. And neither Incels.is nor Looksmax did anything for the holiday? I went and looked for the gag, but I couldn't find anything. Not so much as a Women's subforum. Or changing the name to IncelTears.is Something! Anything! I did see that the domain changed to Incels.co. But that's not for a joke. Or is it? It was done well ahead of April Fool's Day, but as they've covered in the thread , a .co domain is more conducive to meming.

36490

Hilarious! Anyway, I've been busy re-adjusting after getting back from South Padre. To my regular non-vacation schedule. But mostly? I needed to reassess how I spent my "Spring Break."

Like I said before, I don't have a real good frame of reference for what a "crazy Spring Break" is. Because I never went to prime PCB. So if I'm /nightwalking/ on the streets of South Padre and I look around and I think "This doesn't look very rowdy or crowdy," maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is what "PCB crazy" looks like. Maybe "PCB crazy" doesn't necessarily mean "collapse of society." Maybe I got the PCB experience at South Padre but didn't know it. All I know for sure is how I felt about what I got. And it... just wasn't what I hoped. :feelsbadman: Again, I didn't have firsthand experience of what a good Spring Break should be. But I'm pretty sure I arrived too late for the pogo parties. I would've liked to see this...



I saw none of that. I thought for a while "Maybe I didn't miss it. Maybe I'm just not going to the right places, meeting the right people." But I know for a fact that I was too late for a lot of the major stuff. I know for a fact I missed Rockstar Beach, for one. For another, Here's a pre-Crisis video of the Holiday Inn pool cam at PCB.


Nothing like that in my pool. Mine was quiet. Secluded. I was often the only person around. And as a result, I didn't go to the pool very often. I spent a lot of time in my room instead. More time than I might've if I had come with friends, or met some new friends. I did meet new people on Tinder though, that's one benefit of the trip. Changing locations somehow scored me some likes. Thing is though, not very many of them are talking to me. Did I really fuck it up with all of those people? They were the ones who liked me first. Why aren't they responding to me? Maybe I'm shadowbanned or something. Because one of the women I spoke to, a Spring Breaker from Arizona State, threatened to do just that. And shortly after that, the matches stopped. And the responses stopped. And now Tinder won't load properly.

I also met a woman in person. Well, it was just barely a meeting. I was at this bus stop waiting for a free shuttle. And there were other people waiting there with me. When this woman approaches the bus stop and says something to one of the other people. I don't hear it, I think she's asking for a cigarette because the person she spoke to was smoking. Then she comes up to me. She asks me to lean in, like she wants to tell me a secret. I lean in. She says hello, I greet her back. Then she asks me to lean in again. I do. She says I smell good. But despite leaning in I can't hear her, so I assume she asked "Do you smoke..." something, because I thought she was looking for cigarettes. I say "I don't." She snaps at me. "You DON'T???" She sounds angry/incredulous. I'm scared and don't wanna get beat up. I say "I think I misheard you? I'm really hard of hearing." She repeats her self, kinda shouting, sounding exasperated. "YOU SMELL GOOD." I did not smell good, I hadn't put on any kind of fragrance. But I thank her anyway. She seems frustrated with me so I assume that's the end of that. But then she turns to me again and asks "So what's up with you?" I tell her I'm waiting on the shuttle. She leans in again and asks if she can have $2 or $5. I know it's not to catch this shuttle because the shuttle is free. But I give her $5 anyway. Strapped for cash as I am. She grabs it fiercely. And the way she grabbed it suggested some things to me. based on personal experience on the street, and prank phone calls I've heard made to brothels. It wasn't just her disheveled appearance. How defensive and quick to anger she was, she definitely seemed like a prostitute. This demeanor has been common in the prostitutes I've met, anyway. And heard in calls to brothels. They're defensive and preemptively aggressive, to scare away potential abusers. Quick to get on edge at the first sign of uncertainty. But I give her the money and I assume THAT is finally the end of it. But she asks me to lean in again. She says she has something to whisper to me. I turn my ear to her. And she licks it. And then she flees, smiling precociously. I laugh along with her, assuming she was just being affectionate. But then the pieces started coming together in my head. If she IS a prostitute, she's probably carrying something. Most likely herpes, considering how common it is. And she just transferred saliva to me. Did she just give me... ear herpes? I was so paranoid about what my ear touched for the whole week, I didn't wanna pass it on. And it was the first thing I searched up when I got home. Herpes can, in fact, infect a number of body parts. Went to a free clinic to get checked for it. But they said they couldn't check me unless my ear actually broke out in cysts. What if she KNEW she was carrying and DELIBERATELY infected me? As far as I know she's a homeless person. I don't know her name and I don't know where she's at. How can I pursue justice? But y'know... I thought a lot about it while I was there, and how common Herpes Simplex 1 is in the world. If I really intend to live like a degenerate, and I do, how do I expect to not ever catch any kind of herpes? Am I just never gonna kiss anyone? What if someone carries the virus, but haven't broken out? Can they still put their lips on me? Or can I still catch it?

I did a lot of thinking on South Padre, it was how I spent most of my time. That and furious scrubbing my ear with rubbing alcohol. As if that would help anything. And maybe it was cognitive dissonance talkin', because I wasn't meeting anyone or doing anything wild and crazy, but I had sort of an epiphany: I've lost sight of my true ambition. Spring Break is not where I should ascend. Why? Well, I know it sounds presumptuous, and get ready to laugh, but... it's too easy? Yeah, that's rich and chocolatey coming from a virgin of my age. But what I mean is, if I was to hook up with some stranger at Spring Break, it's because it's an environment where everyone is just open to whatever debauchery. And debauchery is what I want, yes. But I want the person I have sex with to decide deep within their vagina that they want to have sex with me. And that can only come from some time spent interacting with me. Observing me. Spring Break? The person I have sex with I would've met that day/week. We would fuck, and I would never see them again. Or at best, text them semi-regularly. That's not in line with my original dreams. The reason I originally was so obsessed about going back to school is because I dreamt of one of my classmates noticing me, approaching me, maybe inviting me to a party or something. Because they know I'm attractive and would fit in at this party. There's no time for that at Spring Break. There's no "pursuit." I want it like the greentexts of old, where Anons tell tales of getting invited to parties and girls trying to weedle sex out of them. Or the beleaguered incels of Incels.is/Incels.co who complain about their friends talking about all the sex they have and being afraid to admit they're a virgin. I want to be asked about my sex life. And I want to say "I haven't had any sex, I'm a virgin." And I want a girl to say "Are you saving yourself?" And I want to say "No, I don't know how other people end up having sex, I'd like to have some sex it's not for lack of trying." And see where things progress from there. I want... I want a girl to ask me for advice on what bikini to pick out. And for it to be a cunning ploy by her to have an excuse to show me her body because she's pursuing me. I want sexual tension to grow. How about this? We're something like friends, but the tension is growing. We're sat together on the couch in a this-is-okay-for-friends-to-do-isn't-it cuddle. We're watching a movie or Netflix or whatever the hell. Her knee is propped up against my dick and she's deliberately not moving her leg...

That's a little rom-com. It doesn't have to be like that. There's also that State Snap I posted in the original XXX Marks the Spot. I wanna meet a girl who'll let me pour things on her ass. And I would assume that might happen at Spring Break, but I want it to happen at a campus/dorm party instead. I wanna know and see this girl around for a while. I'm not sayin' she has to love me, in fact I'd rather she didn't. But I want her to think I'm cool and a worthy fuck. Spring Break? None of it means anything. It's all strangers. You could probably just pour anything on anyone's ass. On paper, it's Sodom & Gomorrah. It wasn't that for me, but it's supposed to be.

Maybe I'm confused. Maybe the answer to what I actually want lies in my subconscious. While I was there, I had this dream that was so vivid, I made a point to immediately write down the details when I woke up. In my dream I was sitting in a room, I think it was one of my old rooms from childhood, and I was sitting outside of the door to a crawlspace in that room. Inside the crawlspace was a nightclub-esque scene for Spring Break. There was a lot more space in that crawlspace than was physically possible. People were coming in and out of the place. Why did I sit outside instead of joining? I guess I felt secure that the club would always be there. But also, my sisters were in there. My sisters are into women. And I could see/hear my sisters in there. They were sitting with some people and they could see/hear me. My sisters and their group. So I was kinda "in there" more or less, just "hanging back." I was close enough to be a listener in the conversation and I think everyone at the table or whatever acknowledged that. I'm the oldest of my parents' children. Two of my sisters were there. One the one right beneath me in age/second oldest, and the one beneath her/third oldest. The third oldest was being very sociable and talkative. She started telling people about past endeavors in my life to pursue women and get laid. Wacky anecdotes to get a laugh out of the group. Now that I'm awake I'm aware none of those stories were true, but within the reality of this dream I must've remembered them to be true. Anyway, before I can say anything, the older sister/the one just beneath me in age, along with a few smattering voices in the group, protest "airing my dirty laundry" like that. I kinda felt the same, but a part of me was like "They should hear this, I want them to know what they think of my most candid and honest self." So maybe that's why I was slow to say anything. But because the second oldest sister said something, I guess everyone understood that this was something I maybe didn't want let out. But the "third oldest"/talkative sister was like "Pfft. If he doesn't want me to do it he can punch me in the mouth and I won't do it. I'll understand, all he has to do is punch me in the mouth." I decide to go in as she's saying this, and I ask her "Is that the cheapest price?" And she agrees that I don't have to punch her in the mouth, she'll settle for me beating her at Punch-Out! instead. So we walk a little further into the crawlspace nightclub to a console set up with a running game of Punch-Out. Except it's not regular Punch-Out. Graphics-wise, closest thing I could probably compare it to was the NES Punch-Out. But it had these cutscenes that looked like rough sketches of that Fat Albert cartoon. And it had the semi-choppy animation style of Rocky and Bullwinkle. And the characters were different. Little Mac was a poor black man who worked with his adult, poor black son, trying to make livings for themselves. Wages were low, so he tended to give things like "crafty schemes" and "gambling" a go. He had this real cartoon schemer vibe about him. And his son was often just along for the ride. Black Little Mac also had a friend who was his trainer, but I don't think this trainer was meant to be Doc Louis. He was black like Doc Louis, just about everyone was, but he, and his friend, looked more like Fat Albert characters than anyone. Black Little Mac's friend and trainer was also a schemer, but his friend was more complicit in the schemes than Black Little Mac's son was complicit in his father's schemes. So to recap, we have...

  1. Black Little Mac
  2. Black Little Mac's Son
  3. Too Skinny To Be Doc Louis
  4. Not Doc Louis's friend
Anyway, the premise of this game is that Black Little Mac is boxing for money. I play as Little Mac, and my sister plays as an overweight, babyfaced black woman wearing Little Mac's pink jogging suit. She's bigger than Little Mac, as most people are. Anyway, I lose. It looks good for me, I'm dodging, my sister is dodging, but apparently I wore down Little Mac's stamina without realizing it. Punching wore down his stamina, a lot of things wore down his stamina. And down Little Mac went, the match was called by stoppage. The jogging suit lady didn't even knock him out, it was exhaustion that put down Little Mac. And the "Bad Ending" cutscene went like this: Little Mac hung his head in shame and told his son that his boxing days are over. Then he put a dog leash around his neck and handed his son the leash. Then he implied that now that he's finished in this town as a boxer, their only hope is to go to the dog tracks. With him being the dog. Little Mac and his trainer also seem to part ways, as later on, and in noticeably less discouraged spirits, the trainer is ready to move onto his next scheme too, dressing his friend like a sheep and getting on his back and riding him. The final shot is of his sheep friend, grinning greedily at whatever their next move is.

What do you think that dream meant? :kys:

Maybe it's not the location. I've tried a Halloween fetish party, a St. Patrick's Day midnight bar thing, and now Spring Break. I'm running out of occasions that are conducive to party sex. Maybe it's not the occasions. Maybe it's me. Well, I mean, obviously it's gotta be me to some extent, I'm unattractive. But maybe I'm doing something wrong that's keeping me from getting to even the rejection stage. If I were just ugly, wouldn't women consciously rebuff me? I recently learned some stuff via @DrTony and @haircutcel.

Lots of stupid questions here. Let's get the facts straight.
1) 2D:4D ratio is indicative ONLY of in utero exposure to testosterone at a very specific time point when digit growth/inhibition is influenced by test/estrogen ratio. It has ZERO, I repeat ZERO correlation with adult testosterone levels.

2) Normal testosterone levels range from 300-1000ng/dL depending on the lab. Ideal level within this physiological range does NOT exist as some men will experience mild symptoms of hypogonadism at 300ng while others (with superior androgen sensitivity) will feel extremely high energy at this level and be lean and strong. Genetics is in fact a bitch.

3) Test levels dont get depressed more than 10-15% with sleep deprivation.
My finger fears might not have that much sway over the... let's call me a "man," that I am today. Maybe. Potentially. But there are things about me that I worry about, that I maybe wish I could change. So maybe before I go "Hmmm, maybe I should try Cinco de Mayo next time, see if any Mexican chicks will go for me" I should take stock of what's wrong with me, and then fix that. If it can even be done.

When it was time to go, my Lyft to the airport couldn't find me, even though I gave the address. And I call him. Turns out he doesn't speak much English. So if Lyft telling him the directions in plain text wasn't enough, me saying it to him in English was even more of a struggle. He doesn't seem to have even heard of the place he's supposed to pick me up from. But eventually he manages to pick me up. And astonishingly, he had GPS on his phone the entire time, and was using it, but somehow still couldn't find me right away? Astonishinglier still, he tells me he has a girlfriend who works at the hotel I was staying at. I was so flabbergasted at how long it took him to find me that I was reluctant to believe him. I think he was maybe just trying to make conversation. Or push off blame for not being able to find the place. Like, he knows of the place, his girlfriend works there, so it's somehow my fault that he couldn't find me. When I got home, I texted WYATT with the lackluster book report. He was very sorry I didn't have an ideal time. But he didn't do this thing to me. I arrived late. And I'm probably autistic and definitely ugly. Probably not cleared to get up on some distant twerking princess. And I probably don't wanna lose my virginity that way anyway. WYATT's advice is still sound. Provided I arrive on time and hit it off with the other people.

In summary, this was too expensive and too foolish a thing to do to not step back and really think about what I've done. I really think it's time to regroup.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Free Consultation" or "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me"

TL;DR:
In this episode I talk about a list I've made of things I would like fixed in me. I talk about how being hard of hearing has stunted me socially. How people talk to me at work and I can't hear them. How years of this has weaned me from society and now I live in a metaphorical cubicle. And a literal cubicle. I talk about how I can't see very well. I talk about how my teeth are fucked up and how that keeps me from being able to eat food. I talk about how my back is fucked up and how that keeps me from being able to do pull-ups and sit-ups. I talk about my joint pain. I talk about how I have womanly hips and a womanly ass. I talk about how I probably have a womanly body because of the circumstances of my birth and the pre-natal testosterone I was exposed to. I talk about how my parents child production has been a little more than half all girls and my fate was probably sealed because hormone-wise, they're better at making girls than boys. I talk about how it might be my dad's fault because my mom has man hands. I talk about my dwindling sex drive. I talk about my once upon a time dream of loving distant 2D princesses and hoping to, if I couldn't be with a flesh and tits woman, enjoy masturbation. I talk about how my dwindling sex drive has made removed that option. I talk about how I'd like to get swole, but if the lack of testosterone doesn't hinder me, the lack of sleep and general lack of time to devote to a regimen does. I talk about sleep debt. I talk about sleep tracking. I talk about shift work sleep disorder. I talk about how my job doesn't pay me enough to live. I talk about work sapping any hope of a social life from me. I talk about how everyone seems to have free time to go to clubs and shit but not me. I talk about how much time it takes out of my weekdays to go to and from work. I talk about how I wish I had a social environment so I could have a crush on someone like people in school get to have crushes on people. I talk about how I wish I could buy a classmate drinks. I wonder about how sex happens at parties. I talk about the hypocrisy of me wanting to have sex at a party, but being afraid of herpes. I talk about how my mother believes herpes is no big deal and I don't even have to tell people I have it. If I have it. Which I probably do. I talk about how I'm probably an autist. I talk about how even though I sperg out like I do, the government wouldn't give me money. I talk about how I don't know how I would function in a social situation, even if a girl was to initiate. I talk about lucky bastards getting picked up on the street and taking strange women they just met back to their hotel to drink liquors off of their asses. I talk about awkward car rides. I ask myself what normal people do in car rides. I talk about how I'd like to follow the examples of normal people and learn how to be normal by copying them. I talk about penis enlargement exercises. I talk about how girth is more important than length, if you can get it. I talk about age defying tactics. I talk about RU58841. I talk about how being short might be something I have to just play to my strengths with. And I ask you for help with all of these things.


I've done a lot of thinking about all of the things I don't like about myself. I covered a few things here...

I am...

:feelsgood: Bald
:feelsmage: Old
:exited: Short
:feelsokman: Dickleted
...but during and since South Padre, I've really fleshed the list out. I've had a lot of time to just lie down and dwell on my feelings. So not only am I bald, old, short, and dickleted, but I find that also...

  1. I can't hear very well
  2. I can't see very well
  3. The radius bone on my right wrist is sore
  4. My right shin has been sore for I don't know how long
  5. Back of my right shoulder is sore
  6. My shoulders/shoulder blades are misaligned
  7. Back/spine probably crooked or cinched in the middle
  8. Anterior pelvic tilt
  9. 6 of my upper teeth are either missing or broken (On the right my second bicuspid & first molar are missing and my third molar/wisdom tooth never grew, on the left my first bicuspid, second molar, and third molar/wisdom tooth have cavities)
  10. I have a woman's digit ratio
  11. I have a woman's hips, ass, and thighs
  12. Could probably stand to be more muscular
  13. I probably have low testosterone
  14. I'm probably not getting enough sleep
  15. I don't have enough time to do anything in a day
  16. I don't make enough money
  17. I probably have herpes
  18. I'm probably autistic
This is Looksmax.me, a "looksmaxxing" forum, this journal probably should've been founded on me making this list and working to fix all of these problems. But what can be done about them?

Let's start with my hearing. It's only recently started to dawn on me how not being able to hear very well has crippled me socially. How? Because not being able to hear isolates you. Basically makes you alone in the prison of your hard-of-hearingness. A normal person can hear other people talking, and jump in when cued. Someone says something to someone else and you, the third party, can listen in for a point to jump in. That's just one benefit of being able to hear. But not being able to hear? Even if you're not looking to eavesdrop on people and invite yourself to conversations? It's like no one's around. And so you start to get used to being inside your own head. Used to the computer. And that's where you stay. Isolated in your cubicle, not able to hear anything but what your earphones are playing. People come up to me at work and say things to me while I have earphones in. And I always think "Do they really think I can hear them? Obviously I have earphones in. I'm not hard of hearing, it's just that everyone speaks in these fast mumbles. Why don't people speak slowly and clearly?" But then I think "Maybe I'm the one that's wrong. Maybe other people don't have this problem. Maybe other people can listen to earphones and still hear when people are talking to them." So what do I do about it? I've actually been trying for a while. My mother suggested that I might just need to clean my ears. But I do clean my ears. I... guess it helps my hearing a little? But that might be a placebo effect. Maybe I just have unusually waxy ears and within 24 hours or so I develop a waxy buildup that makes it hard to hear? I used to think that an ear doctor could probably look in my ear and tell me what exactly the cause of my bad hearing is. And I'm sure an ear doctor could look in my ear and tell me if it's clogged with wax. But most hearing loss is caused not by earwax, but by damage to the stereocilia in the ear. And you can't just flash a light in someone's ear and see if their inner ear hairs are broken down. It's more of a "Rule everything else out first" deal. And like so many other important parts of the human body, they don't grow back when damaged. So if it IS breakdown of stereocilia (which it most likely is), what can I do? Well, I could get a hearing aid. But that doesn't help much, I've learned recently. First and most obviously, it only goes in one ear. I wanna hear in stereo, not just through the one ear. Second, apparently just about any kind of moisture can mess these up. They can get waxy, like earphones get waxy. So you would have to clean it whenever wax gets on it. And if my earphones are anything to go by, that'd be very frequent that I'm cleaning them. So sensitive to moisture are hearing aids, that you can't wear them in the rain! So what am I supposed to do? Not hear people when it's raining? When my hearing is at its worst due to being surrounded by deafening rainfall??? Is hearing science really only this far along???

Well, there is this. Experimental gene therapy for regrowing ear hair cells.


However, that article and its video were released way back in 2015. And whatever this ear hair cell regrowing therapy is, it hasn't been seen on the consumer market yet. So I guess I'm still waiting for the magic science to be invented.

As for my bad vision, I'm also waiting for a new development to hit the consumer market. The Ocumetics™ Bionic Lens.


I don't wanna have to keep up with contact lenses, and I'm afraid of laser eye surgery. But they tell me the Bionic Lens is an "intraocular lens." It goes inside your eyeball. And apparently the entire procedure takes only a few minutes. And it gives you zoom vision. I heard about that a few years ago, and back then they said it should be available by the year 2020 or something. Here's the updates page.


Last update was in 2017 and it was basically "Hey we had to go back to the drawing board and change the design, so now the release has been pushed back because we need to do trials again. With the new design. Also the design change was for mass production so it probably doesn't work as well as the original one-of-a-kind prototype. Whoops." So far they have no regulatory approval to speak of, and the closest thing to a "celebrity endorsement" they have is a Matthew Santoro video I don't have the patience to go look for. So once again, a long wait to go. But I've also learned that even though Ocumetics is struggling, I don't have to wait if all I want is an intraocular lens. I don't know how quick and painless the procedures are, or how well they work, but intraocular lenses have been a thing for a while. And Wikipedia says they're "safer than conventional laser eye treatment."


So that's one potential way out with my eyesight problems. But I'm not that worried about my eyes. What I really want is to be able to hear. To not be alone, adrift in a sea of whispers and mumbles.

How crucial are good teeth to ascension? I don't know. I'm more worried about the fact that it's keeping me from eating like a normal person. And I don't wanna eventually lose so many teeth that I need dentures. So I'm scrubbing what few teeth I have left like they're on life support. Because in many ways, they are. Of my upper teeth, the right side has two adjacent teeth missing. A huge gap in the row of teeth that once was. I can't chew very well with it. As for the left? I have more teeth over there, but they have cavities. Big cavities. Pulp/nerves exposed. And whenever I get food in there, the pain is excruciating. Tooth pain is some of the worst torture in the world. Some of you might've heard the tale of John Thomas Doyle who, in 1954, jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge, leaving this note explaining why: "Absolutely no reason except I have a toothache." u/wirris speculates that this killer toothache might've actually been "trigeminal neuralgia."


I'm not saying I have that, but I do have exposed tooth nerves. And so to avoid triggering them, I have to chew on the other side of my mouth. The side with the huge gap where teeth should be. So I can't chew very well and most likely will not chew well again until I do something about my mouth. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to get the cavities on the left side of my mouth filled and capped. But like with the ear therapy and Ocumetics zoom lens, there's new speculative advancements I've got my nearsighted eyes on.


Stem cells, the most forbidden of fruits, are once again the key to immortality. All those old crones from the fairy tales really had it right when they ate babies to maintain their youth. Using stem cells, now we can grow brand new teeth. Like with the bionic eye and the ear hair therapy, it's not on the consumer market yet. But one day I might be able to grow whole new teeth and have them implanted in my head. Sounds expensive though. For some reason I have it in my head that it'll eventually be cheaper to grow teeth instead of fashioning metal/porcelain implants, but I'm probably wrong. And if I want implants, I should probably spring for the ones that are available today.

I probably need to see a chiropractor or an orthopedist for my bone issues. My sore wrist, my sore shin, my sore shoulder, and my crooked back. The sore wrist I'm pretty sure comes from turning doorknobs at my job. They're positioned weirdly on the doors and you have to twist and crank and crane your wrist to open them. The wrist and shoulder I'm hoping will just go away eventually. But I'm worried it won't. Because this shin tickle right under my knee? It has endured longer than I can remember. It's not always noticeable, I could reach down to my shin and smack and thump and massage the sore area and not feel anything. But if I was to try and jump, the pain would start. It's a mild pain, but definitely one that would probably hinder me if I ever tried to do lower body exercise. Could the cartilage be wearing down/hardening? Is this my future forever? I'm reminded of a bit Louis CK did once about getting old, and joint pain.


They ended this man's career and ruined his life. And ushered in an era where we have to evaluate every comedian's stand up and ask ourselves "Is it offensive what they just said?" All because he asked for consensual sex. Ironically, Roseanne Barr was one of the ones who took him down. And now she's suffering splash damage thanks to the culture she helped create.

Now, my posture/shoulders. Every ID photo I've ever taken, I look like I'm leaning to the right. I never really noticed it as much looking in the mirror, but after enough ID photos I've started to notice something is wrong. I'd like to be more muscular, sure, but am I in any shape to start exercising? Say I wanted to do pull-ups. If my shoulder blades are misaligned or dislocated or something, I could end up ruining my back, couldn't I? My anterior pelvic tilt though, I'm not sure I have it. There are certain methods for determining if you have anterior pelvic tilt. They say if you lay on the floor like you're getting ready to do sit-ups, and there's an arch to your lower back, you have anterior pelvic tilt. You need to be able to press your back flat against the ground. If you look at the waistline of your pants and it's tilted downward? You got anterior pelvic tilt. And I've tried these things. And yes, there's an arch to my lower back when I lie in the floor. But I can flatten my back if I want to. I just need to tilt my pelvis the other way. The waist of my pants does tilt. But I think it might just be because all of my pants fit me weirdly. I wonder if maybe it's not anterior pelvic tilt. I wonder if maybe it's because I have a fat ass.

Which brings me to one of my most heartbreaking flaws. I fear that I might have such naturally low testosterone that I've developed womanly features. The digit ratio, for instance. @DrTony and others have rightly explained that this is just pre-natal testosterone. The testosterone you were exposed to at birth. It's very possible and probably even common to grow into a man, even if you're born an effeminate boy. But what if I missed my chance to do that? Pre-natal testosterone, surely that's the foundational testosterone? The testosterone that decides whether you're a boy or a girl? As @haircutcel explained, pre-natal testosterone determines your penile potential. If my testosterone exposure was low at birth, I'm pretty sure this has had more effect on me than something as minor as my finger length. It's probably the reason my dick is so small and my hips are so wide. And you might be thinking "Well you're probably just fat. Lose the gut, you'll lose the butt." But I don't think I am fat. I'm 5 foot 5, 141 pounds, last time I checked. That gives me a BMI of 23.5. I could be "skinny fat," but in order to have a huge ass like a man has a huge ass, I would have to be "regular fat." In order to have an ass like I have now and for it to be entirely the fault of my eating habits/lack of exercise, I would have to be obese. But I have a relatively flat 27-inch stomach, which balloons out to 45-inch baby bearing holiday hams. One of the key hormonal differences between men and women is where they store their fat. All my fat is going where it would go on a woman's body.


I've seen myself in the mirror, I look like that guy from /fit/. I won't post him here because there's rules about posting gay stuff like men's asses, But his picture is the cautionary tale people invoke to warn against trying Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. Apparently, contrary to what all of the leg day proponents say, you CAN accidentally get a huge lower body by overtraining. But I haven't done a squat in my life. So why do I have the lower body proportions of a woman? I have to believe it's because of my pre-natal testosterone, I have to believe I started this whole "being a boy" thing on the wrong foot, and never got on the right foot. This ass, these hips, they make my pants fit weird. I'm pretty sure they make my back arch when I try to do sit-ups. Leg day proponents tell me "It's that desk job of yours. You need to do squats to train your glutes and hip flexors." But I don't wanna end up with an even bigger ass.

My parents have six children. Four are girls. Two are boys. I think that's what the scientific process calls "multiple trials." Whatever was going on in my mother's womb, I'm pretty sure things erred on the side of less testosterone and more estrogen. And I don't know who to blame. Was my mother just built for making girls? I went and measured my mother's hands. And would you believe it, she actually has a man's digit ratio. So did my father just fail to bring enough testosterone to the party to make whole boys? Is my dad built for making girls? Unlike teeth and eyes and ears and posture, I don't know how to fix this one. Maybe see an endocrinologist? If I'm actually in as bad a shape as I fear, I probably qualify for some kind of hormone therapy, right? Transsexuals can just elect to pump themselves full of that shit and no one bats an eye. No one tells them not to because of health risks or anything. There are female-to-males that, if you didn't tell me they still had vaginas, I would assume were born male.

If nothing else, I should get my levels tested, probably. I want high T because I want to build muscle. I want a manly figure, not a girlish figure. I kinda fear that low T will hinder my gains. But some people, people like @FatmanO, say that testosterone isn't that much of a contributor.

https://looksmax.me/threads/test-levels-dont-matter-for-building-muscle-how-androgen-receptors-respond-to-test-matters-the-most-to-building-muscle-low-tcels-gtfih-lifefuel.13986/

Others like @elfmaxx say "No, that's actually a very big percentage of your muscle that testosterone is responsible for bringing to the protein synthesis potluck."

"Just 4

Just 4lbs of natural muscle
Just 4lbs
of
natural muscle

Did anyone else fucking lose it when they read that? Just lol
4lbs of muscle is no big deal guys, it's only like 20% of the gains you're going to make in your life who cares?
All I know is more testosterone probably can't hurt me. Can it? But my testosterone woes are about more than just becoming another Zyzz. More than just being a real boy. This is mostly about my sex drive.

Early on, I think it was shortly after college and I was really into 2D, I resolved that I would probably never find a wife. Which was fair, because it would be unfair to my future wife to lust after 2D waifus instead of her. "Alienation of affection" they call it. Sure, plenty of wives are understanding that their husbands look at porn. Might even watch the porn with them. But when it turns into "I actually wanna fuck Mia Khalifa, this isn't some cutesy couples thing we do to explore each other's sexuality I'm fantasizing about being with Mia Khalifa and not my wife" it starts to become him feeling for other women what he should feel only for his wife. And the same principle follows for 2D. So I was ready to just make the Hot 100 my life. As long as I could enjoy gratifying orgasms as I fantasized about the pictures I had. And I used to be able to. But somewhere along the line... old age started to set in, I guess. Erections didn't last as long. Took longer to orgasm. And most nights it just wasn't worth the trouble to try rubbing out a nut. Used to be I rubbed one out at LEAST three times a day. At LEAST! I didn't count, all I know is that I did it once when I woke up, once when I went to bed, and at least once in the middle of the day. But it was never only once that I did it in the middle of the day. This new thing called Toonami had recently hit the scene and I was looking at Sailor Moon like "This is a show for girls? Not grown men? They don't look like that to appeal to men, you're telling me? You're serious?" Fantasies would swim in my head constantly. So much so that I kept a journal of fantasies, just so I could focus on one when the time came. And every fantasy captivated me. All were excellent masturbatory aids. But fast forward to today, and the love is just not there. I work to maintain a healthily masturbated penis, but I used to not need to work. Something's changed, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with me getting older. You've probably heard the old lament: Young man stumbles upon porn or hentai or ecchi or whatever for the first time. Maybe it's DragonMoon X. Maybe it's a furry club on Yahoo! Groups. Maybe it's an open directory of nudes. There's all kinds. And his world is rocked. He's like "Oh my God. Oh my God. Breasts, hips, thighs, asses, pussies..." He's consumed by it. Where is this man today? In this age of Danbooru and Gelbooru where all the pictures you could ever want are a click away? He's utterly desensitized, rapid-fire clicking through tag after tag lazily glancing over pictures, looking for something, anything, to make him feel again. Does he need newer, more extreme porn? It's not like he's jonesing for stronger drugs. A drug addict can at least still feel withdrawal. This isn't a feeling of withdrawal the man feels today. It's a feeling of "Alright, let's see what we've got here. Huh. She's pretty... I dunno, let's try a video. What? 30 minutes? Like hell I'm watchin' that whole thing. Is there, like, a 60-30 second trailer? Alright, 60 seconds of all the highlights. I got enough here to rub one out before bed." That's his night. He's totally detached. It's not that he's shivering and shaking for the old highs, it's just that he doesn't care anymore. I don't care anymore but for the lack of caring. I care about caring again.

Some people suggest trying NoFap. There's all sorts of fairy stories about how it works.

https://looksmax.me/threads/legends-that-did-nofap-gtfi.14491/

There's a disagreement on how magical NoFap really is, but the general agreement is that spending your fapping energy/horny level on other more productive things will unlock new capabilities you didn't know you had. Don't have sex before a game, win the game. Be like Steve Jobs and save your nut so you can boss around Steve Wozniak. Be like Kanye West and store up so much precious bodily fluid that you become really good at, I guess rapping is what he does? Or music production? But here's the thing. In order for this to work, you must have energies to store. You must have a horniness that you can redirect towards productivity. I don't have one. So if I'm going months without fapping and I don't even get the common courtesy of a 7 day spike, I must have something wrong with me, right?

If I can't get my sex drive back, maybe I can build muscle. Despite my womanly body. Actual women with vaginas are able to build muscle. It's possible. But it's probably not possible if I can't work out. And in order to work out, you need time out of your day to work out. And time to sleep. And that brings me to my other concern. Work, getting to work, getting home from work, it's taking up a huge chunk of my day. And as a result I don't have much time time to do anything fun like normal people do. And perhaps more importantly? I don't have time to sleep. I worry that sleep might be killing my testosterone and sex drive. But even if it's not, you need sleep to build muscle. Muscle grows when you rest. Specifically during your deep sleep, overnight. Without it, gains stop. Strength stops. You just hang around the same power level forever. In the Gymcelling Megathread, @Nibba has laid out a plan that, apparently, is good enough to sticky as gospel. And it's not bad advice. Except I'm pretty sure you're supposed to work the muscles you want to grow more than once per week. The "Bro Split" is bad advice. I hear. What do I really know? Me with my woman's body? But I wanna bring attention to this part of the post.

Misc
  1. sleep (above 7 hours is okay, above 8 hours is good, 9+ is ideal)
    1. this is required for muscle growth
    2. you have to give your body time to recover
First of all, I think he maybe buried the lead. He said "Diet is the main thing every lifter needs to master." I guess sleep isn't really anything that takes "mastering" but the way I heard it back during "XXX Marks the Spot 6," sleep is actually more important than food. Lack of sleep renders everything moot. But second, and most important, 7-9+ hours of sleep??? The way my life is right now? That is just about impossible. Work, going to work, getting home from work, books me from 6:00 AM to 7:00 PM. If I want idealest gains, that would leave me 2 hours of time when I'm at home and not asleep. I can ratchet that up to 4 if I'm willing to sacrifice sleep gains. And I'm not. I want the best gains, if I can get them. But right now I can't even afford moderate gains. Because 4 hours? Now I see why he went with the Bro Split. There isn't enough time in the day to do a bunch of sets for a bunch of different muscles. As busy as I am today? I get about 5 hours a night on average if it's a work night. Weekends are when I really treat myself with quality sleep. And worse still, this has been going on, at least, for the past... 5 years. At least. And so I've incurred a sleep debt that has probably ruined my bodily metabolisms. If I was to start lifting, and somehow found the time to sleep 9 hours a night, I probably wouldn't grow muscle overnight like I should because my body is still fucked from the 5 years of not sleeping properly. And so I've become really interested in learning what my sleep debt is, and how to know when it's paid off. I'm talking to sleep doctors on Reddit, and best they can tell me is, when my sleep patterns return to consistent levels, when my sleep is no longer irregular, I've caught up on sleep. I'd like to get a sleep tracker to measure if my sleep is regular. Because I've slept for 8 hours before. Even longer. But I don't know if that's healthy or not. A tracker could probably tell me. But u/somnodoc, and several articles, say just about every sleep tracker on the consumer market is very inaccurate.


But note, he also says that he's got his ear to the ground for some soon to come sleep trackers that you wear on your head. But last he checked, they weren't on the market. Right up there with Ocumetics and the stem cell teeth. But wait a second, last he checked was April 22nd, 2017. And since then, sleep tracking headgear has been introduced to the consumer market! There's Dreem...

https://sleeptrackers.io/qa-dreem-active-eeg-sleep-wearable/

There's Muse...

https://choosemuse.com/

There's Sleep Shepherd...

https://sleepshepherd.com/

Could any of these be one of the ones he was keeping an eye out for? I've reached out to him, I'm waiting on a response.

But my job isn't just cutting into my sleep. It's cutting into my life. With work taking up 13 hours of my day, how often can I do the things that lead to ascension? Let's say I go on Tinder. I hit it off with a lady and she wants to meet up for drinks. When would I meet her for drinks? The weekend? Would we only ever interact on the weekend? What kind of fling is that? Like I said in "The Social Retard," seeing somebody once a weekend isn't enough to build up bonds. And maybe that's why older people tend to be lonelier than younger people. Because younger people are in school, going to parties, hooking up, rushing to the pharmacy to get Plan B, panicking because the pharmacy closes well before 2:00 in the morning, and looking up "how soon after sex in pussy does a girl get pregnant." I'm really kinda obsessed with how it is I'm supposed to have a social life while not being in school. I don't just mean "How do I go to events?" I do mean that, but I mean other things. Mostly, where am I supposed to find a social environment where I can pursue women and women can pursue me? How am I supposed to develop a "crush" on someone? That's what I want. To have a crush on someone, and/or someone to have a crush on me. But I don't think it can happen without school. This poll of mine seems to confirm it.


When you're out of college, your life is work, and then going home. How are you supposed to meet anyone new? When are you supposed to chill at their house and play video games or whatever it is non-college people do? And where are you supposed to find girls who will, without pay, suck your dick while you play video games? You can only find them if you first met them in school.

But school or not, I'm starting to notice everyone's finding time to gets to live and do stuff. And I'm wondering, where do they find the time to do this if they have to go to work? How much free time from work do they have? When are they getting off from work? Because I'm not free until 7:00. So I have to figure that everyone else is getting off of work/getting home/becoming free sooner than I am. Even my own co-workers. I asked one of them what time they get home. Factoring in transit, she gets a good 30 minutes of extra free time after work compared to me. Probably more because she probably doesn't wake up bright and early in the morning, I'm pretty sure. And she's an employee who really burns the midnight marshmallows. Even though I wake up earlier than she does, I don't come in any earlier than I need to. She comes earlier than I do. So I'm doing something wrong here. Work is taking up more of my day than other people. As if I needed another reason to find another job. Here's yet ANOTHER reason to find a job, one that's hitting me real hard right now: It doesn't pay very well. And I haven't gotten a promotion/raise in years. Because of my low salary my trip to South Padre has left me rationing my food money like it's the end times. And you need money to do things with women. And I don't just mean dates. Check this video out. Ohio University is, allegedly, the number one party school in the United States. First I ever heard of it. And at about 1:14 this group of girls can't seem to agree on how a guy should try and pick up a girl.


The girl in the jean jacket says to fill them up with vodka Red Bulls. There ya go, she said it, not me. And I would love to spend my hard earned slave wages on saucing up a girl if she'll let me. But I don't make "bottomless vodka Red Bull" money. I remember on South Padre I was wishing I the money and the crowds to find a woman and buy her drinks. And I think I've moved past that urge. But if Ohio University really is the top party school, I think what I'd like to do is go there, make some friends, see some girls around campus that we like, reveal that I am a virgin and am in need of getting laid, and conspire with my friends to meet those girls on Court Street for those Red Bull slut potions that apparently work so well. How do I solve this? Wait a minute. Didn't I say I wanted to go to school anyway? The solution is to quit my job and live off of grant/loan refunds. Like the kids at Ohio University. They seem to have time and money to go out, get drunk, and have sex.

But that brings me to my other problem. I'm worried that I might have herpes. Why? Because of the strange ear licking woman? No, because just about everyone's got it. But let's say I don't have it. I don't know how sex happens at parties, I really don't. But if I plan on having sex at a party with a girl whose sexual history I don't know, we're not gonna have time to whip out our Talent Testing STD reports. That's not how casual hookups work. But then, that IS how STDs work. If my question was "So if people aren't trading STD reports and auditing each other's sexual histories, how are people avoiding STDs," then the answer is "They're not avoiding STDs, that's how they spread. That's the inherent risk." If nothing else, herpes. Herpes Simplex 1. AKA "It's Just A Cold Sore Except A Cold Sore Is Herpes." Because everyone's got Herpes 1. Even children get Herpes 1.

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/cold-sores.html

Tragic. But I guess as a "problem" this is just a stigma I'll have to conquer on my own. But I dunno. That ear licking woman from South Padre put a spook in me. And maybe herpes. Y'know, if I have herpes, and I ever get to be with a woman? I can't see myself keeping my herpes a secret. My mother actually surprised me, after my herpes scare I went to tell her about it. And she was like "You're overreacting. You don't even have to tell people about HSV-1. It's not like it's HIV." And I'm like, geez, Mom. How irresponsible of you. I can't do it. If a girl shows any interest in me, I would have to be immediately upfront about how I have herpes. I would use it as an icebreaker. I'd be so much fun at parties...

"I wish I could drop bones in somebody some day, but ever since I got herpes..."
"Yes, I'm a kissless virgin."
"I don't really know how I got it. One cold winter I found the corner of my mouth breaking out in herpes!"
"Yeah, herpes."
"Oh! Cold sores are herpes. See, there's two variants: Herpes simplex virus 1, and herpes simplex virus 2. I have Simplex 1. And it's what most people call a 'cold sore.'"
"Yeah I know, everybody gets those."
"You do? Well... technically you have herpes."


Speaking of saying things like that, there's my next problem: My autism. I'm probably autistic. I once tried to get NEETbux for being autistic. It was at my parents' behest, and they didn't call it "autism." They were just pretty sure something was wrong with me. I was more boy than man. But when I went in, they didn't test me for autism, they tested to see if I could, like, recognize shapes and shit. It was a long time ago, I think standards may have changed. Anyway, I was denied. And I never looked back. And now here I am being treated like a child and/or madman at work. So much for me not being autistic.

But let them handle me with retard gloves at work. What I'm worried about is being able to socialize. How to talk to people like normal people do. However it is normal people talk. But you sometimes hear talk about how if you're an attractive man, you could be a mute retard and the woman will do all the work like she's have sex slave, half remedial learning instructor. She will initiate, you can stumble over your words, you can hang around her in awkward silence at a loss for anything to say, it doesn't matter. She'll lead the way. And I'm not saying that's impossible. All things square and equal, of course there've gotta be women out there who initiate. Who approach/harass men. But I am saying it's a convenient faith to believe in for incels and incel-alikes. The socially awkward who don't know how to approach women, or people in general, and maintain sustainable interactions with them. "The Legend Of The Woman Who Approached The Man." But where ever she is, if I was attractive enough to be headhunted like that, I wonder how I would handle myself. Being as autistic as I am. Like, in that South Padre Island GONE WILD! pt. 2 video I posted here, the guy at 0:17 says everyone at South Padre was being "hella friendly." And as he was leaving one of the clubs, a car pulls up to him and a girl calls out asking him if he'd like to get in the car with her. He does. And he gets a ride back to his hotel. And I'm assuming the aftermath of that is where the video starts. With all the making out and butt luging. Now, I've been offered rides in people's cars. Mostly when I'm on my way to work and one of the people who works in the same building as I do sees me headed toward the building and asks "Hey are you headed up to Building? Do you want a ride?" And when I accept the ride, I always feel this pressure. I'm always wondering "Should I be talking to this person? The silence is suffocating." And so I scramble in my head for something to say. "Uhhhh... man it's... colder than I assumed it would be, I shoulda brought my jacket..." And they "Hmmm. Yeah." And I'm like "Oh God, what now? What do I say now?" Should I even be scrambling to hold unbroken conversation with this stranger? The question is, what would a normal, non-autistic person do? Maybe a normal person WOULD make idle small talk, while not investing that much in the conversation. They are a stranger, it's not likely we'll meet again. I don't know. So what I've often pondered is, what if I could just ask normal people how they live their normal lives? How do normal people do all of the things I'd like to do? If I could somehow look in on a conversation that a normal person would have in a car with a stranger, getting picked up on the way to work. Or look in on that conversation that guy had in that video with the girls he and his friends longdicked. Watch what normal people do in nightclubs, from start to finish. See how normal people make friends in college. From start to finish. From freshman to shouting "Roll Tide!" at strangers as they fuck their latest hookup outside of an open car door on Homecoming Night. I need models to follow. And I'm always on the hunt for normal person examples to follow. I almost got one, once. A guy on Reddit offered to record a day in his life for me. But his family and friends objected to being monitored. So that was a bust. I was ready to pay him and everything. And then there's the vlog channels I've started to get into, maybe those can be of some help. But what would be absolutely perfect would be to watch the full process, beginning to end. So I know how to talk, what to do, everything. If I am autistic, I can learn how to not act autistic. I just need the lessons. I need to shadow a non-autistic person.

My mother suggests hiring a life coach. But for the life of me I can't think of any life coaches that offer coaching in what I want. Normal life coaches wanna help me live a restrained and sustainable life that the average 40-something would live. I don't want that. I wanna drop bones. I wanna live like my father lived. So do I hire a pick up artist? No, that's snake oil. Smoke and mirrors that's heavy on the effort and low on results. What I need is to watch someone who actually produces results. See how they got to where they are. I wanted to ask @Deltoid how he ended up at that party with two prospective fuck opportunities but nooooo, he didn't share his secrets. If you happen to have any experience you wanna share with me, I'm open to learning from you. I tried asking my father. He didn't help.

And then there's the Final Four. I am bald, I am old, I am short of stature, and I am short of dick. @jefferson says there's probably not much I can do. And I'm inclined to agree. And I'm also inclined to think that without these four issues solved, there's no way I'm gonna blend in with college kids or be headhunted for hotel sex. But there's no harm in pondering my options, right? Have you heard about this "Cool Smoke" guy? He's in the same boat I am, kinda. A 40-something year old man with dreams of plugging a college girl.

https://incels.co/threads/former-incel-becomes-chad-at-age-47.115928/

Probably a joke, I know. But if this guy succeeded, he's apparently beaten oldness and baldness. But what about shortness and dickletness? Well, @jefferson suggests penis enlargement exercises. And hey, while I'm down there, right? But how permanent are the results? And is there a way to aim for girth instead of length? Because girth will get me the most bang for my buck. I hear women care mostly about girth. However, girth has gotta be harder to add than length, right? A quarter inch of length, that's just a quarter inch cross slice of your dick. But a quarter inch of girth? That's the entire volume of your dick expanded. But if there's a way to specifically focus on girth, I'd like to know. I'll take length as a byproduct, but if I can sacrifice length exercises for a girth-focused regimen, I'll do it.

My baldness? If I can't just pull it off, there's that RU58841 hair treatment if I'm serious about doing something about this. Being old? Now this one I'm intrigued by. Because I'll look at an older gentleman's face, and I'll be like "Now he definitely doesn't look like a teenager." But why? What am I noticing in his face that makes him look old? Is it wrinkles? I don't think so. Because I've seen men's faces that I... don't remember being very wrinkly, but they just looked old. What I need to do is first figure out what aesthetics contribute to a man looking old. And then fight those. If it's wrinkles, I'll look into what people do to fight wrinkles. If it's cellulite, I'll look into what people do to fight cellulite. I hear it's lifting weights. But then, there are old man bodybuilders with young looking bodies and old looking faces. I don't need to find examples, just go to your image search engine of choice and look up "old man bodybuilder" and voila. Maybe I should talk to a face morpher. And ask them how they would make an old man look like a 20-something. They would know what features make someone look old, and what to morph them into. And from there I would see how much of that I can achieve in real life. And finally, there's my height... I could get my legs lengthened? Or... I could stay short and dwarfmax like I thought of in "Character Creation" and "Mellow Ranger." Or if I can look young enough, maybe I could Chicomax? How likely is that? I think about older men like Jared Leto and Chuando Tan. And I feel like it's possible. But then, maybe that's possible for them because of genetics. They probably always looked young. And if I look old now, my genetics have sealed my fate. Or even if it was bed rest and diet, maybe the damage is done? Maybe I've incurred too much sleep debt to sleep off the old age? It can't hurt to try though, right? Try and be like Jared Leto and Chuando Tan? It can only hurt my heart. And if it doesn't work, I can be a gruff, stubbly man. Provided I can fix my girlish body.

I'm not a looksmaxxer by trade, everything I learned, Looksmax.me taught me. So maybe you guys have some insight into what I should do about these things?
 
Alexanderr

Alexanderr

Researching
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
1,677
Didn’t read a single fucking word.
 
Lifeisgood72

Lifeisgood72

Arcanologist
Joined
Jan 5, 2019
Messages
1,657
Time to inject T bro you're starting to write novels
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
Time to inject T bro you're starting to write novels
I thought that was a sign of autism, not low testosterone?



"Greensboro Thot" or "Girlfriend Experience"

TL;DR:
On the way to Shazam! the other day I met a strange woman on the bus, about my age. A little older than me. She seemed to like me. And I notice that I tend to attract attention specifically from women like that. They aren't really the kinds of women I like. But they are close to the kinds of women I like. The kinds of women I like are women like Rhonetta Johnson from American Idol. Maybe I can attract women like that if I'm attracting similar women. I wonder if Looksmax can tell me what it is these women are seeing in me that convinces them to approach me.

Friday was a rainy day, but not a cold day. So I went out with an umbrella but not a jacket because I didn't wanna sweat. I had a lot of walking to do that day. After work I was gonna see that Shazam! movie. Now I say again, it wasn't cold. But I was getting fed up with the rain and the umbrella wasn't much help. So I caught a bus because it was close by. And as I'm getting on the bus I'm fumbling with my umbrella. I leave my umbrella open, and I put it off to the side past the white line because I don't wanna waste the driver's time trying to close it. And as I'm putting the fare in, this woman comes up and picks up my umbrella, closes it for me, and hands it to me. She smiles and says "It's bad luck... ?" "Oh yeah!" I chuckle back. I accept the umbrella and thank her for closing it for me. She asks me where my coat is. I'm like "Pfft. It's wet, but it's not cold. I can handle wet." And she's like "It IS cold! It's still half winter!" And so I say "But it's April! It's spring, isn't it?" And she says yeah, but there's phases to spring. It's still "early spring." AKA "half winter." The time will come soon, but today it's still too early for me to not wear a jacket. But I say "Nah. It's 40-something degrees, the way I run a jacket would cook me." She adds to her earlier point about it being too cold to not have a jacket, saying that tonight it's gonna snow. Which I hadn't heard. She says we're due for 12 inches of snow. I don't buy that for a second. I tell her I'll believe that when I see it. She admits she was just kidding, and she says I made an incredulous face when she said it was gonna snow 12 inches tonight. In April.

A characteristic of my social retardation. I didn't even know I was making a face, but that's something she and other people can just read. Like when you're in the bad part of the city and you see a group of big guys and you don't wanna look like a target, but somehow they just know you're afraid of them by the way you walk or something? That's gotta be some kind of autism. I'm not on the same level of reading facial cues as other people. Not even my own facial cues.

Anyway, she calls out to the driver. "You should've seen his face!" She asks me to do the face again. But I don't know how to do it. I say "I can't! It was a... visceral reflex, when you said it was gonna snow 12 INCHES???" I'm laughing with her at her hilarious snow joke. We're palling around. But she insists that I really should've worn a jacket today. It's not gonna snow 12 inches, but there's gonna be some freezing rain. I'm not entirely sure of that either, but I take her word for it. It's a lot more reasonable than snow. Then she accuses me of leaving my jacket at home because I wanted to look sexy. I take the compliment with an "Oh, g'arn" roll of the eyes. As my stop comes into view, she assumes I'm 17. I tell her I'm a lot older than that. She then assumes 19. From this I assume she's being polite. Because I don't look anything-teen. She's trying to flatter me. I tell her I'm 46. She's all like "I wanna see some ID!" She bugs the bus driver for a second opinion. She wants to ask the bus driver if she thinks I look 46. I show the strange woman my ID. Then she asks me how old I think she is. Now, she was being polite to me, so I figured what's good for me is good for her. So I lowball her age too. She was an older woman, wearing thick sweatclothes heavily spotted with rain. I say she looks 28. Which I think is far because I've seen 28 year old women who look like her. I don't think that was an entirely bullshit answer. It was just enough bullshit to be polite. Anyway, she says she's actually 53. See how much more sense my answer makes? She said I was a teenager, I shot for at least halfway to her age.

I don't know how likely that was to turn into sex, but I'm starting to notice a pattern. The women that approach me tend to be older. But not just older, they tend to look like they might be homeless and/or on drugs. There was the ear licker in South Padre. There was this woman on the bus. And once upon a time there was this story about a woman who asked me if I could buy her some food.


One's an incident, Two's a coincidence, Three's a pattern. And this has happened more than three times. I don't wanna brag, but I think I might have some appeal when it comes to "crackhead looking" women. That's not what I want, but how desperate can I get before I reach my breaking point? What are my actual options? Even if I'm not "desperate," what if every other venue refuses me? Maybe I should head down to the shelter and see what good I can do? Am I volcel if I wouldn't? Or who knows, maybe they were all just being nice and it's my toxic masculinity that takes their kindness as something sexual. But if so, if you wanna make sex, don't send me a bunch of vague clues and then get mad at me for not knowing when you're being nice and when you're dropping hints. If you can't be upfront and not play coy games, you lose the right to get mad at me for guessing wrong. Mistakes are made when you play games. Now, when I say "crackhead looking women" I don't mean trashy looking women. Trashy is fine. Trashy is ideal! Lemme show you an example of the kind of woman I'd like to be with. An example of what I'm talking about when I say "trashy..."

Do you ever have kind of a foggy memory of something, and you try your best to remember it clearly but you can't, so you give up? Only to have it bug you again a few months down the line? That was me, recently. Long ago I was watching American Idol, and there was this one outrageous contestant who was dancing around, spreading her legs and showing off her pussy even though there were kids and old people around. Like a hooker turning tricks outside of a kid's birthday party. She had this air about her. Handsy, affectionate, like she would fuck any man who made eye contact with her. The ideal image of a thot. She captivated me. And that would be the last I would see her for a while. Fast forward years into the future, I find myself thinking about her. Who was that creature, dripping with depraved sexuality? There are plenty of bad Idol contestants who are famous, so I thought she would be famous enough amongst names like William Hung. But I couldn't find anything about her on YouTube. Probably because I didn't know her name. But I thought she would've been considered outrageous enough that fame would've made sure I knew her name. I figured if I was ever gonna see her again, I would have to order the complete American Idol series on DVD or something and just watch every episode. I ended up putting it on my "To-Maybe-Do-Later List" and that was mostly it, save for her now and then getting on my mind. Until recently. I realized there was someone on YouTube who had most of the American Idol episodes available to watch for free. Not all of them, just most of them. And I was worried because I didn't wanna watch a bunch of episodes only to not see her because the episode she was in was copyright struck. But fortunately, that didn't happen. I found her in the Season 5 Auditions, Greensboro Episode.


Her name is Rhonetta Johnson. She was 24 when that was filmed (October 6, 2005). And turns out I wasn't wrong about her looking like a prostitute. She was and might even still be a prostitute. Since 2003, two years prior to her Idol appearance, she's been in and out of jail for men being in and out of her. If you look, you can see video of some of the johns that pick her up. For some reason she likes filming them. Also? That hair is probably a wig. It was disheartening to learn this. That she wears a wig. But I think I'll always be in love with the Rhonetta Johnson of my imagination. I don't attract women like the Rhonetta of my imagination. If ever such a woman wanted my company, not just for the money, but for my dick, I would go to her in a heartbeat. But maybe I would've attracted Rhonetta if I ever met her. What is it about me that's attracting the women I attract now? Before I looksmax, maybe I should try and figure out my good qualities instead of my bad qualities. To figure out what's attracting the women I attract. Because maybe if I improve those qualities, as opposed to looksmaxing in a way that makes me look good but not trash-friendly, I'll find the trailer trash sluts I crave. But who would I ask about that? I'm aware my tastes in women and, well, everything, aren't really up the Looksmax/Incels alley. So maybe there's no help for me here. Everyone here wants a tradwife. Pretty but tame. I want a girl who will pass me around her friends one night on a whim. Everyone here talks about how curries are lower than shit. But I'd eat Mindy Kaling's bhelpuri if she would let me. Is Looksmax.me the wrong place to be if I wanna somehow get with a Rhonetta?

You might say "Just go see a prostitute. If you want women like Rhonetta, she's literally a prostitute." But I've said before, I don't want her to like my money. I want her to like my body. Or whatever it is women have sex with men for without pay. But how likely is that? I don't know if times are changing or what, but I appear to be beyond the typical NPC advice. The meme advice. I feel like if a normal person complained that they were still a virgin, Reddit would tell them that they're worried about nothing and that they should pick up hobbies and meet people in those hobbies. They don't tell me that. I tell people how old I am and they say "Okay. Go see a prostitute. Either go see a prostitute or never lose your virginity." Which is kinda shocking to me when I think about it, you don't just tell people to do that. It's illegal. Just ask Rhonetta Johnson. But even my own mother has suggested this. What kinda advice is that for a mother to give her son? Especially my mother. Who considers herself particularly woke. I thought she would understand how demeaning it is to women to be prostituted. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe it's liberating and empowering. That I get to pay to use a woman like an object. That her consent is not her own, but up for contract. What the hell do I know? Point is, I have several reasons why I won't do this. And ordinarily I'd follow that up with "But how long until I get desperate and cave on my convictions?" But if I'm attracting bus stop women without offering them money at first, there must be something about me that attracts trashy women. Who I like. If I can just enhance that part of me, if I get nothing else, the prostitutes will at least like who I am. Even if they still demand money, there'll be that initial attraction. And what I want is the attraction.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Serenity Prayer" or "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"

TL;DR:
I've put together a to-do list about the things I can change about myself, but there's still a lot I can't change. My nephew is over, I wanna be like him testosterone-wise so I'm gonna see if we can get his panel. But it's looking like, thanks to new fears surrounding RU58841, I still don't have a viable option to cure my baldness. Just like I don't have a viable option to cure my shortness. So I consider, what if I just lean into it? What if I just accept being bald and short, does it mean I can't look like a college student? I look at examples like Matt Damon, Meth Damon, and Karl Pilkington.


My nephew is over again. He's got the week off. Last time I saw him was in January. He's been bigger than me for a while, but in the past three-ish months he's gotten noticeably bigger. He's approaching 19 so he appears to still be growing. Now, if he were a minor it would be irresponsible for me to do this. But because he's 18 going on 19, I wanna ask him to have his testosterone levels checked.


Strike while he's still in his prime. Is he still in his prime? Anyway I've been leaving messages for endocrinologists since Sunday. Somewhat worryingly, none of them have called me back yet? Maybe I should try calling again. @NickGurr says to ask for the "full panel." I'm gonna get his full panel, then get my full panel, and see what I gotta do to get my panel to look like his. It's all part of my to-do list to tackle "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me." The list so far...

  1. Look into the effects of RU58841/where to get some.
  2. See an ear doctor about how deaf I am.
  3. See an eye doctor about how blind I am. Bring up intraocular lenses.
  4. See a bones doctor for an x-ray. See about the alignment of my shoulders, back, and pelvis. Also bring up my shin.
  5. Get a quote for getting my cavities filled/crowned.
  6. Learn my nephew's testosterone panel, then my testosterone panel, then try to bridge the difference if my endocrinologist will let me.
  7. Find a picture of an old person and ask a morpher to make them look young. Then ask them what things they targeted to make them look young. The picture should be free of any obvious things that make a person look old, like grey hair or baldness.
  8. Do girth exercises for my penis.
  9. Find the ideal school to go to.
  10. Find normal people to watch, so I learn what normal people do and how they talk and act.
But recent testimonial about RU58841 has got me thinking twice about it.


Some people protest. "I use it, and I don't experience any of these symptoms. They must be using it wrong." But the thing about RU58841 is, because it's an unregulated mystery potion, there are no official instructions or warnings to keep me from accidentally using it wrong. So best case scenario, it IS harmless, provided you know how to use it. And that's the BEST case scenario. That you should know all of the ins and outs of this still experimental treatment. So right now, RU58841 feels about as much an option as any other treatment. Not an option. Because I don't want the side effects. So without RU58841, will I have to just cope with being bald? If so, how much younger can I look, being bald? I mean, there are bald teenagers. I just wanna look like a bald college student.



Searching "bald teen" on Alarmy produces this guy. Maybe not the ideal specimen, but how might he be rated if he put on some mass?

Here's a candid of a bald Matt Damon. Taken during the principal photgraphy for Elysium. Circa July 2011. He was 40, going on 41.


He looks like he could fit in on a college campus, right? But then, he's got a nice face. Doesn't he? Could Jesse Plemons pull off bald in a way that made him look like he might fit in on a college campus? But wait, Plemons is only 31. He probably could fit in on a college campus just because he's in his early 30s. So that analogy won't work for another 10 years. Either way, it looks like being bald is just one of those things I'm gonna have to make the best of. Like being short. In fact, maybe I need to be short if I wanna look young. I've said this before, and so has this guy.


Half of that video is pitch for his overpriced clothes. Lemme be honest, as a short person it's a little disconcerting. But if it's not all wishful thinking, what's the best I can hope for, staying short and bald, but young looking? Maybe the cartoon version of Karl Pilkington.


How much damage do you think a guy like this could do in a school environment? This guy, but more muscular?
 
NickGurr

NickGurr

200 ng/dl HIGH T BEAST
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
3,328
"Serenity Prayer" or "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"

TL;DR:
I've put together a to-do list about the things I can change about myself, but there's still a lot I can't change. My nephew is over, I wanna be like him testosterone-wise so I'm gonna see if we can get his panel. But it's looking like, thanks to new fears surrounding RU58841, I still don't have a viable option to cure my baldness. Just like I don't have a viable option to cure my shortness. So I consider, what if I just lean into it? What if I just accept being bald and short, does it mean I can't look like a college student? I look at examples like Matt Damon, Meth Damon, and Karl Pilkington.


My nephew is over again. He's got the week off. Last time I saw him was in January. He's been bigger than me for a while, but in the past three-ish months he's gotten noticeably bigger. He's approaching 19 so he appears to still be growing. Now, if he were a minor it would be irresponsible for me to do this. But because he's 18 going on 19, I wanna ask him to have his testosterone levels checked.


Strike while he's still in his prime. Is he still in his prime? Anyway I've been leaving messages for endocrinologists since Sunday. Somewhat worryingly, none of them have called me back yet? Maybe I should try calling again. @NickGurr says to ask for the "full panel." I'm gonna get his full panel, then get my full panel, and see what I gotta do to get my panel to look like his. It's all part of my to-do list to tackle "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me." The list so far...

  1. Look into the effects of RU58841/where to get some.
  2. See an ear doctor about how deaf I am.
  3. See an eye doctor about how blind I am. Bring up intraocular lenses.
  4. See a bones doctor for an x-ray. See about the alignment of my shoulders, back, and pelvis. Also bring up my shin.
  5. Get a quote for getting my cavities filled/crowned.
  6. Learn my nephew's testosterone panel, then my testosterone panel, then try to bridge the difference if my endocrinologist will let me.
  7. Find a picture of an old person and ask a morpher to make them look young. Then ask them what things they targeted to make them look young. The picture should be free of any obvious things that make a person look old, like grey hair or baldness.
  8. Do girth exercises for my penis.
  9. Find the ideal school to go to.
  10. Find normal people to watch, so I learn what normal people do and how they talk and act.
But recent testimonial about RU58841 has got me thinking twice about it.


Some people protest. "I use it, and I don't experience any of these symptoms. They must be using it wrong." But the thing about RU58841 is, because it's an unregulated mystery potion, there are no official instructions or warnings to keep me from accidentally using it wrong. So best case scenario, it IS harmless, provided you know how to use it. And that's the BEST case scenario. That you should know all of the ins and outs of this still experimental treatment. So right now, RU58841 feels about as much an option as any other treatment. Not an option. Because I don't want the side effects. So without RU58841, will I have to just cope with being bald? If so, how much younger can I look, being bald? I mean, there are bald teenagers. I just wanna look like a bald college student.



Searching "bald teen" on Alarmy produces this guy. Maybe not the ideal specimen, but how might he be rated if he put on some mass?

Here's a candid of a bald Matt Damon. Taken during the principal photgraphy for Elysium. Circa July 2011. He was 40, going on 41.


He looks like he could fit in on a college campus, right? But then, he's got a nice face. Doesn't he? Could Jesse Plemons pull off bald in a way that made him look like he might fit in on a college campus? But wait, Plemons is only 31. He probably could fit in on a college campus just because he's in his early 30s. So that analogy won't work for another 10 years. Either way, it looks like being bald is just one of those things I'm gonna have to make the best of. Like being short. In fact, maybe I need to be short if I wanna look young. I've said this before, and so has this guy.


Half of that video is pitch for his overpriced clothes. Lemme be honest, as a short person it's a little disconcerting. But if it's not all wishful thinking, what's the best I can hope for, staying short and bald, but young looking? Maybe the cartoon version of Karl Pilkington.


How much damage do you think a guy like this could do in a school environment? This guy, but more muscular?
full hormonal panel, not any panel bro
 
mido the slayer

mido the slayer

classic Romantic man that got lost in the darkness
Joined
Nov 16, 2018
Messages
3,706
Didn’t read ?
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
full hormonal panel, not any panel bro
Ah, see, I didn't know that. I need to know what to ask for, in the exact language to ask for it. I've never done this before.
 
Extra Chromosome

Extra Chromosome

Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
8,212
Ah, see, I didn't know that. I need to know what to ask for, in the exact language to ask for it. I've never done this before.
Full panel bro.
You need to know E2, DHT, FSH, LH levels and others.
Make sure to go fasted to get accurate glucose levels as well.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
full analysis is a fuckimg hemogram or whatever its called. a routine blood analysis
So you're saying "full panel" or "full analysis" wouldn't give me a full hormonal panel? Is it not included?
 
NickGurr

NickGurr

200 ng/dl HIGH T BEAST
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
3,328
So you're saying "full panel" or "full analysis" wouldn't give me a full hormonal panel? Is it not included?
In my country at least they dont check T, E, DHT etc in routine blood tests

ask for a full hormonal panel
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"The Amazing Rate" or "The Bachelors"

TL;DR:
A recent match on Tinder taught me two things that probably should be obvious: First, just because you set your age bracket to 18-21 doesn't mean you're seeing every 18-21 year old. If you're 46, you're only seeing the 18-21 year olds that have set their age bracket to include 46 year olds. Second, talking about your being a virgin will probably get you unmatched. But that's got me thinking. I'm swiping through the eyes of a 46 year old, what might I get to see if I was swiping as a 21 year old? I'm seeing women who, if nothing else, haven't curated their Tinder results yet. What if I wanna see women who've decided they don't wanna see old men? And how much of a turnoff is mentioning that you're a virgin? What if you announced it on your bio? What if you weren't very attractive, but you made up for it by having a lot of money? Or having a big dick? Or what if you WERE attractive, but were manlet sized? What if you were attractive, but said things that people get labeled "incel" for? I ponder fishing concepts like these in the latest episode.

I got a new hit on Tinder today, and she was pretty young. So I asked her what I always ask young people who like me: "What could've possibly possessed you to shoot your shot at a 40+ year old man?" And she said what a lot of them usually say: "Oh, I like older men. Oh, younger men are silly and immature, yadda yadda." But she explained another thing to me that, now that I think of it, should've been obvious. She said she doesn't like men her age, so she set her age bracket to 30-47. And something clicked in my head: Setting her age bracket doesn't just mean that 30-47 year old men will appear for her, it means if you're NOT 30-47 years old, you WON'T appear for her. Her setting her age bracket to that doesn't just mean I'll appear for her, it means she'll appear for me, and if I wasn't in that age bracket, I would never see her. So now that's got me thinking, I must be missing out on people who've set their age brackets to parameters I'm outside of. This is probably why my Tinder experience is so much different from everyone else's. I'm getting all sorts of sugar babies and Not Like Other Girls. But if I were, I dunno, 21? Who might I get?

She unmatched me shortly after I told her I was a virgin. Is that an inappropriate discussion topic on Tinder? Am I the one in the wrong? She asks me "What's a man like you?" She's originally from Uruguay. And I say "A man like me? Well, would you believe that I'm a virgin?" And about 30 minutes or so later she's gone from my matches. I wanna believe that I was just too forward. Because then I can ask "Okay, so when can we talk about our sex lives on this app that is for having sex with people?"
But my experience with just about the surest shot I ever had suggests to me that being a virgin is actually a turn-off for a lot of ladies. But then I thought "Wait a minute, what if I put that I'm a virgin in my bio?" And then I thought "Hold on, I kinda already did. But let's say the women swiping on me actually read my bio. And I made a clear point that I was a virgin. That might be an experiment, huh? Because if I still get matches, that suggests they were turned off by the surprise. It's too forward to talk about sex on Tinder, if you can believe it. But if they go in with the topic of my virginity brought up in my bio, it's not a surprise." But if I stop getting matches, that means the virginity itself is driving women away. I just... really wanna see what happens if a man makes a point of his virginity on Tinder. I've been wanting to fish with some new bait for a while now, actually. And ideas have been swimming around in my head. For instance, I recently posted this bald guy to Ratings.


The central question here being "Is it really over if you're bald? Are there contexts where you can succeed, maybe even do BETTER, if you're bald? What if Seth Everman had hair? Upgrade? Downgrade? Lateral move?"


And having Looksmax rate baldness like that is okay, but isn't it better to try it out in practice? Let people on Tinder vote with their swipes! If I could get bait of a bald guy. Not Seth Everman, everyone knows Seth Everman. But a poor man's Seth Everman. How might he fare? And then I thought, how might Meth Everman fare against my virginfish? If their accounts were launched at the same time, in the same location, and with the same age bracket? And are there other characters I could add to this rating race? What reactions am I interested in seeing? And so I started coming up with character concepts that I'd like to see results for...

  1. 40+ year old gymcel. Admits to being a virgin on his profile.
  2. Normie to sub-normie black guy. Maybe manlet. But it's inferred that he has a big dick. Maybe virgin?
  3. Unattractive man. Probably fat. Maybe even old. Nowhere near any gyms. But he appears to be very rich. Pictures of him in limousines and at notoriously expensive restaurants.
  4. Manlet, hits the gym, potentially nice face. HOWEVER, in his bio he rants angrily about the double standards of Tinder. Women can demand tall men and that's fine. Men say no fat chicks, or no skinny chicks, or no tall chicks, or any judgement of appearance, and he's a misogynist.
List subject to change, I'm still brainstorming ideas. If you have any experiments you wanna see, let me know here.


Or here, if you're on Incels.co.


Probably gonna have to find a way to shoehorn a bald guy in there. And probably need a standard Chad too, as a control to weigh everyone else against. But how hard would this be to set up? Biggest challenge is getting a burner phone for each character, right? And maybe Tinder Gold to act on Likes as soon as they happen. It's funding that this experiment needs. Everything after that is gravy. We pick a location, and then at 9PM local time (peak Tinder hours) it's off to the races.

But then... does Looksmax.me know what locations to pick? Or Incels.co? If either of them did, I wouldn't be wasting my time trying to narrow down the perfect school. Maybe I should save this for after I've picked my school. Unless you've got ideas for a location? Or several locations, we'll have multiple races, how about that? Make it a grand tour. Boosting around the world. And like the colonists of yore, we can watch in thrill at the spectacle of strange men achieving feats we could never dream. Oh, this could be the cope to end all copes. Just need enough burner phones.

The opinions of actual women you're trying to impress? This is the best rating. I've said it before, The opinions of a bunch of, I assume, straight men, throwing around theories, this absolutely comes second to actual factual women. If a woman says you're hot, and some dickhead on Lookism says you're not, and your goal is to attract women? You know who to listen to.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Don't Ever Go Against The Family" or "One Thousand Big Boys"

TL;DR:
Things going on with my family include my mother wanting to start a podcast, my nephew getting kicked out of his parents' house for not joining the fight against Trump, and how my whole family might be autistic. And yet, none of us are getting any autism money. I also came up with an idea: If I'm an autist, maybe I should ask people on Tinder if I can sit in on their dates and learn how a normal date goes.


So, my mother and one of my sisters have been talking about starting a podcast. And they want me to be part of it. It's like this: I'm at my parents' house right now, my sister is here too. And my mom gets started talking to me about something. She says "Amy Schumer's husband has autism." I don't know what her point was about that, because she never gets around to finishing it because I respond with "I'm pretty sure he does have autism." And she's all like "Why?" And I say "Because he's married to Amy Schumer." And my mom apparently thought that was so hilarious that she changed subjects. She's all like "That's so funny! You need to say stuff like that on our podcast! Your sister and I have been talking about doing a podcast!" And I'm like "Mom, that's not exactly a clever take. Everybody knows Amy Schumer is garbage, you can get a take like that anywhere." And she's like "That was also funny, what you just said. And I didn't know that everyone hated Amy Schumer. That's why we need you on the podcast. That's insight you could share with our audience that maybe doesn't know how much Amy Schumer is hated." Now, maybe I'm living in an echo chamber, but I think it's my mom that's living in an echo chamber. That she doesn't know that Amy Schumer is kinda famous for being hated. It's cool and fashionable to hate Amy Schumer, even if you've never heard any of her easy, derivative material. There's no audience out there that's gonna be surprised with "Amy Schumer Is Bad." But I'm more curious about what kinds of topics she and my sister think we're gonna cover on this podcast. What people are gonna tune in to listen to. And she says "The idea came from how your sister and I will watch TV, and we'll see commercials, and we'll riff on the commercials, and we're funny when we riff on the commercials, but we can also segue that into talking about other funny topics, and every now and then we're so funny and our pace and dynamic is so good, we think 'That should be on a podcast!'" And I still don't understand what exactly this podcast would be "about." My mom appears to think that we're all more interesting than we actually are. And my mom is also woefully unaware of how bad Amy Schumer is. I wanna chalk that up to just being a doting mother, but I think my mom might be autistic too. In the way that I'm autistic. The "Unaware/unconcerned that you're making a fool of yourself" autistic. In fact, pretty sure my sister is too. And the bulk of my immediate family. My mom talks about how much of a wild oats sowing "slayer" my father was, but to know him today, he avoids crowds and social interaction with such obvious and painful awkwardness, even I know it's wrong. How could he have? And then there's his paranoia about letting people see our house unless it was immaculate? So I guess this is what I've inherited from my family. We're all a bunch of social retards. Maybe it's nature. Maybe it's nurture. But the more I think about it, the less normal we seem.

And from that, an even more autistic idea came to me. I wanna know how normal people act, right? Ideally if I could just watch some normal people, I think I could learn a lot. And I've really been wanting to drop this Anselm thing and try some new Tinder experiments. But you can't start fresh on Tinder unless you really, really scrub. But if I could, how about this for a Tinder thing? What if I put myself out there, not looking for hookups, but to be a third wheel on OTHER people's interactions? For as much as they would let me see? For instance, if I was to meet someone for coffee, I don't know what I'd do. It terrifies me that I or she might break out our phones and start doing phone stuff. You don't do that on a date! But what ARE you supposed to do? Every moment of silence wears on the tenuous threads that hold the coffee date together! But if I could instead watch other people's coffee dates, I could learn how to have a good coffee date when the time came. And not just coffee dates. Whatever people meet up for. The main problem with that, though, what if my presence throws them off? I can't imagine it wouldn't. I'm not even saying they'd be disturbed by my presence, it's just it probably wouldn't be the same interactions if they knew I was there watching and taking notes. How much am I throwing it off though? There was one guy who was willing to record a day in his life for me. I'm sure the awareness of me listening by proxy probably affected the "naturalness" of that day, but probably not by much because he thought it was a good idea. He thought I would've gotten a good summary of what a normal day is like for a normal person. I'm sure I'll throw things off somehow. But hopefully, not by much.

The goal is to, someday, learn to be as comfortable talking to people as I am with my own family. I'll look at strangers on the street and imagine to myself "What if I was friends with that person?" I can't even conceive of it. What would we talk about? I don't want one of those forced friendships where we have to work to maintain it. And maybe learning how normal people form relationships will teach me how to do it naturally. Or who knows, maybe it only works if you're not retarded. Or maybe you have to be united by a moment of incredible intimacy?

Speaking of my family, I learned something kinda infuriating about my nephew. I know why he hangs out at my place instead of his parents. They actually kicked him out. It wasn't a "Pack your bags and go" kicking out, it was more that when he left for college, he was essentially not welcome to come back home. Why? Because he wouldn't contribute to the "Blue Wave" in the 2018 midterms. My sister, not the podcast sister but the sister that is the mother of my nephew, considers the Trump administration so dangerous that it is cruelty to not try and fight it. Apparently more cruel than kicking out the baby you birthed because his political views are different than yours. A shit thing for a mother to do to their child, but especially shit and hypocritical for my sister. Because my sister is gay. All the way gay. Well, a bit bi. She had at least one boyfriend when she was a teenager. But when she was an adult she turned. Probably had more girlfriends than boyfriends. Come to think of it, my sister has always been real good at cutting people out of her life without qualm. But today she's gay married and everything. My nephew is the mixed-race result of their sperm donor conception. My sister and her wife were gay back when other young gays were getting kicked out by their parents for being gay. So you'd think they both, or at least my sister who carried him and birthed him, would be like "No, we're no better for kicking him out for his views than those people who kick out their gay kids" but no. My sister believes this is beyond politics. And that Orange Man is Bad. A matter of fact pure and simple evil. To allow my nephew to not hate Trump, in my sister's eyes, is as destructive as letting him do drugs. If she can't make him stop doing drugs, if he won't listen to her help, she can't allow it in her house. And so it is for voting red. And... I dunno man, I wanna believe he just needs a place to come to on break, that he's tough, and he's not hurting from this. But if he's seeking me out because he needs support? That really hits me. I gotta be there for this kid. And I'm gonna, if he needs me. :feelswah: In a way, I'm not surprised at the way he turned out. It's in our nature to rebel against the folks when they get "in your face" about stuff. Hard-ass baby boomers begat soft-ass hippies. Soft-ass hippies begat Young Republicans. And the hardline progressive stance in that household, dragging him to their wedding, the natural curiosity of humans must've begged him to ask "What if there's another way?" Here's hoping he didn't catch any of our family autism. He's gonna be interning at Google, which is good for him, but I wonder if it was a product of him being a "Boo people, yay computers" kind of person. Maybe someday he'll be a voice. For people like him who've faced this kind of adversity.

Speaking of autism though, it's Autism Week, I'm finding out? I've been seeing signs in shops and stuff. Is this a week to celebrate me? Probably not. When they say "autism" they mean "can't be in a dark theatre or they have a breakdown" autism. "Living in constant care" autism. And yet, there are people on Incels.co, and probably even Looksmax.me, who get gubbamint NEETbux despite being more or less capable of taking care of themselves. I tried to qualify for disability benefits, but they denied me. Basically said I was "lying" about being incapable of taking care of myself. Which I never outright said, I just said I was disabled. But how come everyone else gets money and I don't? I'm asking here.


Maybe I should campaign for Yang. The difference between when I went in for disability and today is probably because the idea of free money for nothing is growing in popularity. Universal basic income. Because the robots are coming. But $1000 freedom dollars a month wouldn't feed a dog. Or would it? Maybe I could move into rent-controlled housing. Having no job would solve my "No free time to lift or socialize" problem. I wonder which candidate my leftist sister is backing. Bent as she is, she probably doesn't care. As long as it's not Orange Man.
 
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

There's no gym for my squandered youth.
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
631
"Passing Over Jerusalem" or "The Last Days in the Life of a Bloomer"

TL;DR:
It's Palm Sunday and I'm pondering Jesus's Passion, which was essentially a game plan to "ascend." Step 1 was going to Jerusalem. Location is important when it comes to ascension. I'm still trying to figure out where the best college to go to is, and a realization I've come to is this: Colleges are known for their pretty students or slutty students because these colleges are situated in areas where pretty sluts live. So it's not just the ideal school I need to find, but the ideal location in America where this kind of culture is pervasive not just in the schools. I could try where ever that nude beach is in Uncle Chester U.S. Nude Beaches 20. Or I could go to one of the places featured on Art Mann Presents. Or I could stay here. I'm noticing things like pretty women working in the building I work with, and skittish women who put their trust in me not to snitch on them when they pee in public. Instead of trying to go back to school, I could quit my job and go work at the Sedgwick Claims in my building. Where the pretty women work. Work would then be a viable social environment. My co-workers like classmates.

It's Palm Sunday! ? Which basically means we're eyeballs deep in this spring holiday thing. It's pretty much wall-to-wall Judeo-Christian fun for the rest of the month. The Palm in "Palm Sunday" means "tree palms." You celebrate Palm Sunday with tree palms. Whatever you can get your hands on. But what a waste of the newly blossomed tree flowers, isn't it? Still though, Jesus. Don't forget, he was a mooch who justified people stealing on his behalf and tending to his needs first because he is the Lord made flesh, and while there will always be normie chattel, there is only one Jesus Christ. So snap that tree branch off, as tribute to his Passion. The tree has plenty of other branches. I think people forget sometimes, Jesus was part entitled hippie, and part entitled "Do You Know Who My Dad Is" kid.

"The Passion" as Mel Gibson would have us all know, was Jesus's plan of action to, essentially, "Messiahmax." There were certain steps he had to take to, literally, ascend. He had it all in his head. First, he had to go to Jerusalem. He could not "ascend" where he was. He had to go to Jerusalem. The have the best asses in Jerusalem. And he would be like a king in Jerusalem. Locationcels can probably relate. Location is the key to ascension. Because maybe you're too ugly for the women in your area. Or maybe the women in your area are too ugly for you. For @Zesto it was both. Me, I'm looking for a social community with the kind of people I wanna be exposed to long term. For years at a time. And I'm slowly starting to learn where all the fun is. For instance, a lot of my dreams of getting out of here are based on GIFs of amazing things I saw. There's this one GIF that's kinda made the rounds through the Internet, maybe you've seen it. There's this nude beach, and this beautiful woman is approached by this black guy. I won't post it because there's dick in it. But you probably know the GIF. And I remember seeing that GIF and thinking "Hold on, all of the nude beaches I know of are filled with old people. What beaches have beautiful women on them? What is this from?" And like with Rhonetta I kinda assumed I would never learn the answer. But also like with Rhonetta, I eventually did. It's actually from a DVD of nude beach voyeur filming. Uncle Chester U.S. Nude Beaches 20. Part of a collection of shots of nude beaches here in the United States. Volume 20 is what features the woman I was obsessed with. So as soon as I find that, I'll watch it, and like I do with all my porn, I'll scour the landmarks and signs to figure out where it is. Now, I'm not interested in this place specifically for the beach, I'm interested in it because I came to a realization: Colleges have the students and reputations they have because of the people who are already in the area.

Take Arizona State University, for instance. Notorious for pretty girls, right? But where did this reputation come from? Why exactly does Arizona State have so many pretty students anyway? As far as I know, Arizona State doesn't have a formal "No Fat Chicks" policy. Anyone can go there. Even ugly people. What if I went there? Parading in on an ass like a pretend king, like Jesus? A king in a peasant's trappings? They couldn't kick me out, could they? Just for being ugly? No, I don't think so. So if it's not formal policy, what is it? It's gotta be for the same reasons that predominantly black colleges are predominantly black, and predominantly white colleges are predominantly white. Yes, black people do make a point to go to the black colleges, making the black colleges blacker and the white colleges whiter by virtue of their absence. But how did the black colleges fulfill this prophecy of being black? How did they get black enough to attract black students and become even blacker? It had to be that they started out black. The black people were already in the area. The college attracts so many black people because that college just happened to be close to a preponderance of black people and it's usually easier to just go to the college that's near you. And that's probably how it is for Arizona State University. There's no beacon calling the pretty people. Not like Hollywood is a beacon for people who wanna put out for the camera. No, the area around Arizona State must just have pretty people in it. And it makes sense. I hear the area is a rave hot spot. So there tend to be lots of rave bunnies hopping around. And if I go to where ever this nude beach is, there'll probably be beautiful people who are into nude bathing. And those people might just go to whatever the nearby college is. And then I'll go to that college. I'll see them around campus. We'll grow closer. And then she'll be like "TeeHee, FrothySolutions, did you maybe wanna go to that nude beach? Iono, somethin' t'do... ?" That's the dream. Or instead Uncle Chester, what about Art Mann? Another long forgotten source of "What is this magical place" feelings for me. Art Mann Presents is/was a show that went and filmed local crazy festivals and stuff. Like Spring Break, but not Spring Break. I mostly caught clips of it on Soup. And because my only exposure to this was on Soup, I figured I would never see it again. Half the time I barely remembered the names of the shows featured on Soup. But then I lucked out to hear that Art Mann actually has a YouTube channel.

Notorious clip from the show. Now you're probably looking at that ass and thinking "Boy, that's terrible. Just not a good ass." And it's not the best ass in the world, but I don't see the ass for the ass. I see the ass for how she brazenly just scrawls "Slut Butt" on her body, to announce her sluttiness in the sluttiest way possible for the stupidest, most irresponsible hey-I'll-do-anything reason. I wanna meet people like her. Who command that people notice her sluttiness and mistake it for nothing else but sluttiness. I am bound to witness it! What is this magical place? Bodatious Motor Sports Park. In Cartersville, Virginia. Art Mann's specialty is redneck debauchery. This, along with Georgia Southern's Alpha Omicron Pi and "Greensboro Thot" grants credence to my "Floribama Theory," that warm weather and sloppy redneckery make for the unique cocktail that allows the party scene I'm looking for to happen.

But then. maybe I don't have to go to Jerusalem. I'm finding that home has some hidden gems that for some coincidence are only just now revealing themselves to me. This past Friday, right? I go in to work. The building I work in has probably like a hundred tenants throughout its vast swaths of office space. There's stuff going on in this building I can only wonder at. Like what I saw on Friday. I come in, I'm at the elevator, and I see this woman, petite, save for the breasts straining against her black t-shirt. Big enough to tent her midriff area. Plain blue jeans, but she was wearing these polka dot platform heels. I don't see women like this in MY area of the building. I don't see women like this in my area in general. My experience with women, I assume they wanna wear comfortable shoes to work. And the women at my job do. Slippers and sensible flats. But here was a woman in heels. By choice? And these weren't formal heels either. Polka dot isn't necessarily a casual fashion pattern. But these were platform heels. Hoein' shoes. And the rest of her attire wasn't formal either. And so my mind runs with this: She must have somewhere to be after work. Because there's no dress code anywhere that says "Casual, but you have to wear stripper shoes." She either was going somewhere that called for stripper shoes, or she's the kind of person who just likes stripper shoes. Both are the kind of woman I wanna be friends with. And most miraculous of all? Despite standing before me in platform heels? She was shorter than me. :whatfeels: Too bad she wasn't a new hire at my place. But where was she headed? I take another look at her shirt. There's a logo. It says "Sedgwick." As in, "Sedgwick Claims Management Services." Okay. So there's a Sedgwick data entry/mail room place somewhere in this building. I recognize the free t-shirt. Maybe she's wearing those shoes for the same reason she's wearing the shirt. Maybe that's all she has right now. :feelsbadman: I happen to be getting in the elevator, same as she is. So I make note of the floor she gets off on. 5th floor