Experience OCD?

[OptimusMaxxer]

I am undiagnosed professionally but I am pretty sure I suffer from OCD. I have to repeat words in my head over and over again until I essentially forget about this word and some new word comes to mind. Those words can be names or some things, it all depends on what I want to do or have. For example: (since this is a Chad worship forum I will bring up the case with Brad Pitt) I see Brad Pitt in a movie and I want to look like him and even though I know I will never look that good I still must repeat his name in my head countless time in the off chance that for some reason this makes me more like Brad Pitt. Also, it's similar to games I want to play. If I play some video game I have to repeat its name during playtime in order to somehow get good at it. I know it sounds retarded and I know it's purely an irrational construction of my mind but I can't help it. I have been battling it my whole life and it got better over time but not by much. I also developed maladaptive daydreaming and socialization problems from the trauma of constantly fighting those obsessions. It's sad and I want to know who if anyone from this form can at least a little bit relate.

 

[chosen-one]

Damn yeah it might be OCD or autism or something. Srs

 

[Michael Myers]

Yes, I suffer from OCD. I was diagnosed. What you're describing does sound like OCD but it's best to get diagnosed first before you claim it. I only knew because someone asked if I had it or not and turns out I did.

 

[Splinter901]

Somewhere out there there is someone with gay ocd who needs to visualize niggER cocks and not get aroused to confirm that they are not gay and dwindle their anxiety.

 

[OptimusMaxxer]

Yes, I suffer from OCD. I was diagnosed. What you're describing does sound like OCD but it's best to get diagnosed first before you claim it. I only knew because someone asked if I had it or not and turns out I did.

What type is it?

I've read that some people have compulsions irl but I only have them in my mind in the sense that I have to repeat words or visualize. It's not a common type in the sense that I see a lot more people suffering from external compulsions then internal like me. Maybe it is something else or needs a different type of treatment then most people get but I couldn't pinpoint any special disorder or type of disorder other then just the term OCD.

I'm only 18 and I in a sense want to know what my condition is but I have anxiety from the thought of telling someone about it other then online. I've only talked about it with my family when I was little and they didn't take me seriously. They even ridiculed me. I just don't have the strength to irl talk about it.

 

[OptimusMaxxer]

Damn yeah it might be OCD or autism or something. Srs

I don't think its autism because i'm okey socially compared to some real autists that I know. I can understand most unspoken social signals. I have 2 healthy NT friendgroupes and a girlfriend which is very atypical for autists. Yet I am introverted and am very obsessive about my interests. Also, I can't concentrate on anything I don't intrinsicly like. Its hard going to school like this. I am burned out as hell. Still, even though OCD symptoms better fit me its still a bit different. I have no irl compulsions - it's all inside my mind. So I don't know what to think, I only know that I'm pretty fucked up mentally and online is my only place to vent about it. Sorry for being a little pathetic but I have to get it out somewhere.

 

[Michael Myers]

What type is it?

I've read that some people have compulsions irl but I only have them in my mind in the sense that I have to repeat words or visualize. It's not a common type in the sense that I see a lot more people suffering from external compulsions then internal like me. Maybe it is something else or needs a different type of treatment then most people get but I couldn't pinpoint any special disorder or type of disorder other then just the term OCD.

I'm only 18 and I in a sense want to know what my condition is but I have anxiety from the thought of telling someone about it other then online. I've only talked about it with my family when I was little and they didn't take me seriously. They even ridiculed me. I just don't have the strength to irl talk about it.

I’ll let you know when I wake up.

 

[Pride]

I am undiagnosed professionally but I am pretty sure I suffer from OCD. I have to repeat words in my head over and over again until I essentially forget about this word and some new word comes to mind. Those words can be names or some things, it all depends on what I want to do or have. For example: (since this is a Chad worship forum I will bring up the case with Brad Pitt) I see Brad Pitt in a movie and I want to look like him and even though I know I will never look that good I still must repeat his name in my head countless time in the off chance that for some reason this makes me more like Brad Pitt. Also, it's similar to games I want to play. If I play some video game I have to repeat its name during playtime in order to somehow get good at it. I know it sounds retarded and I know it's purely an irrational construction of my mind but I can't help it. I have been battling it my whole life and it got better over time but not by much. I also developed maladaptive daydreaming and socialization problems from the trauma of constantly fighting those obsessions. It's sad and I want to know who if anyone from this form can at least a little bit relate.

omd bro i cannot belive you still post thank god but bro I 100% RELATE. Like seriously i have never seen anyone else be able to describe what i have been dealing with since at least 7 years old. At first i would constanly need to touch my knees or i would feel uncomfortable and after around 11 that stopped but since around 13 ish i have the same thing as you. I literally have to repeat phrases in my head MULTIPLE TIMES IN MY HEAD. For example theres a phrase i would say a couple years ago when i was 13-14 that essentially i would say so my mom would not get hurt and would come back home safely and i would say it just incase. Now, over the last 4 months I have to repeat this phrase over and over that my mom once said to calm me down about a situation earlier this school year. I have to repeat it over and over now just incase this situation comes back and messes up my day to day life. I say it just incase cuz its better to be safe than sorry. Anytime i see a clock that has seconds on it or a video on youtube or netlfix etc I have to wait until it hits the number 8 and then i look away from it because every other number could be associated to this sitation coming back into my life. Its gotten even worse because now the situation may not be coming back I HAVE NO CLUE BUT i say it now because i fear something bad in genreal will happen to me if i do not say it especially if i do not say it 3 times in a row. Anytime i swear or hear anybody swear in a video or comment section i make myself say excuse my language and have to repeat it 3 times if i see multiple swear words or if someone uses gods name in vein i have to ask for forgivness and these phrases can be used in combination aswell. NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE SOMEONE RELATE TO ME BRO I JUST WANT HELP I AM MENTALLY UNWELL AND SUFFER FROM LIKELY A NUMBER OF MENTAL ILNESSES AND I NEVER TALK ABOUT IT IRL OR SHOW IT. I even say these phrases outloud if the curse word is something outloud and my friend sometimes ask why im talking to myslef and i just act like im trolling but i literally have to do it or else something bad might happen that WHAT MY BRAIN FISHO THINKS. I whisper it sometimes while im with people and try to cover my mouth or act like im singing by kinda bobbing my head

 

[OptimusMaxxer]

omd bro i cannot belive you still post thank god but bro I 100% RELATE. Like seriously i have never seen anyone else be able to describe what i have been dealing with since at least 7 years old. At first i would constanly need to touch my knees or i would feel uncomfortable and after around 11 that stopped but since around 13 ish i have the same thing as you. I literally have to repeat phrases in my head MULTIPLE TIMES IN MY HEAD. For example theres a phrase i would say a couple years ago when i was 13-14 that essentially i would say so my mom would not get hurt and would come back home safely and i would say it just incase. Now, over the last 4 months I have to repeat this phrase over and over that my mom once said to calm me down about a situation earlier this school year. I have to repeat it over and over now just incase this situation comes back and messes up my day to day life. I say it just incase cuz its better to be safe than sorry. Anytime i see a clock that has seconds on it or a video on youtube or netlfix etc I have to wait until it hits the number 8 and then i look away from it because every other number could be associated to this sitation coming back into my life. Its gotten even worse because now the situation may not be coming back I HAVE NO CLUE BUT i say it now because i fear something bad in genreal will happen to me if i do not say it especially if i do not say it 3 times in a row. Anytime i swear or hear anybody swear in a video or comment section i make myself say excuse my language and have to repeat it 3 times if i see multiple swear words or if someone uses gods name in vein i have to ask for forgivness and these phrases can be used in combination aswell. NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE SOMEONE RELATE TO ME BRO I JUST WANT HELP I AM MENTALLY UNWELL AND SUFFER FROM LIKELY A NUMBER OF MENTAL ILNESSES AND I NEVER TALK ABOUT IT IRL OR SHOW IT. I even say these phrases outloud if the curse word is something outloud and my friend sometimes ask why im talking to myslef and i just act like im trolling but i literally have to do it or else something bad might happen that WHAT MY BRAIN FISHO THINKS. I whisper it sometimes while im with people and try to cover my mouth or act like im singing by kinda bobbing my head

This is very similar to my sufferings, perhaps the most similar type of OCD to mine that I have ever heard. I don't want this to anyone but it is somehow comforting to know that I'm not the only one. From my life experience of trying to get rid of it since my early childhood and many studies done by professional psychologists, it never goes away but the severity can be lessened. It was much worse when I was younger but then I learned that I can fight back a small step at a time. You have to slowly start ignoring those urges. I know it is very very very hard but that is the only way of fighting back naturally. Don't act out on your compulsion instantly when you get it but try to fight back and postpone it. Eventually, you should be able to ignore some amount of compulsions and get a better hold of your own life. You have to help your brain realize these compulsions are purely irrational and not worth acting out. But this can only take you so far and if you don't see much improvement you should muster up the strength to go to a psychologist and get the much-needed therapy in the form of pills and sessions. I will eventually go do this, but I postpone it since I view it as a last resort. It's always better to try and first 'cure' it naturally. I hope this helps you a little and I'm always here if you want to just vent and talk about it. I know how hard OCD can be so PM me if you want to talk more about it.