incel194012940
Kraken
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2021
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When I was in elementary school, next to the front office, there was a fishtank. In the fishtank there was a fish that stuck to the wall and ate algae. Like this:
i liked that fish. So when I thought of it, it made me happy.
This is significant because it's the the first completely positive memory I've had in at least 3 years. I've had two other ones that made me laugh, but afterwards they made me paranoid, bitter, depressed and on the verge of crying for a good while, so I don't count them.
As a typical abused dog, I probably have a least 20 brutal memories of social failures per day. Whenever I'm not doing something or in an actively good mood, they'll pop into my mind. Usually, my body tenses up as I physically cringe during the recollection, and I either ruminate about it, connecting it to an internal monologue about being a pathetic incel or force myself to do something else. If I don't consume sugar/drugs before bed this can last all night.
This is my primary motivation to looks max, because my fear is otherwise when I become an oldcel I will be too physically weak to do anything but reminisce and I would be forced into mind-torture in some damp cell for decades until I die. TBH i would probably lose my sanity before this, MVP style.
Do you have positive memories and if so, how often?
i liked that fish. So when I thought of it, it made me happy.
This is significant because it's the the first completely positive memory I've had in at least 3 years. I've had two other ones that made me laugh, but afterwards they made me paranoid, bitter, depressed and on the verge of crying for a good while, so I don't count them.
As a typical abused dog, I probably have a least 20 brutal memories of social failures per day. Whenever I'm not doing something or in an actively good mood, they'll pop into my mind. Usually, my body tenses up as I physically cringe during the recollection, and I either ruminate about it, connecting it to an internal monologue about being a pathetic incel or force myself to do something else. If I don't consume sugar/drugs before bed this can last all night.
This is my primary motivation to looks max, because my fear is otherwise when I become an oldcel I will be too physically weak to do anything but reminisce and I would be forced into mind-torture in some damp cell for decades until I die. TBH i would probably lose my sanity before this, MVP style.
Do you have positive memories and if so, how often?
