RandomPerson1893
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2023
- Posts
- 74
- Reputation
- 37
I'm mostly a lurker on this site as are many of you, but I'm done today.
You have all helped me tremendously with improving myself.
The gains I've made from BOTB threads were worth the autism. Seeing people being anonymously low inhib and spewing out bullshit was fun. Learning more about this sphere of technical knowledge and niche conversationisms has been a good time overall but addicting. Now my brain is wired for continuously more valuable/fun content, but it's just diminishing gains for the same degree of autism gained. I'm beginning to head toward true non-NT autism with the potential for unnecessary surgeries, which will leave me worse than where I began. This isn't to discount the value of surgeries for some but rather to discount the need to perfect everything that CAN be perfected harmoniously. In most cases, drastic procedures AND even some drastic softmaxxes may make you look better, but churn a significant part of your soul to mush.
For me, I have found myself losing my neurotypical bluepill cope characteristics and such that make socializing less harmonious. I'd rather cope with being naturally, unforcefully empathetic for example than with being judgemental, narcissistic, and negative, regardless of how "correct" or superior the latter attitude may be in any situation. It's funny to think how lame all of this autism will seem down the line. Maybe it wont, maybe it'll be the truest knowledge I'll know, but I feel I'm making a good decision.
If you are new-ish like me, absorb as much as you can quickly, and leave soon. There are many awesome posts here. But I can see this site beginning to revert my progress due to autism and neural circuitry fuckery. It already has for sure, but to leave rn was a sudden and conscious decision (for me to write this and then leave). The site was a grip for me in the oddest of situations. Now I want to experience the discomfort of griplessness for what I hope/cope will be a brighter future.
As much as I'd love to read and enjoy and laugh at the dnr, 0, water, genuine, "he'll be back", and autistic comments. I will not even come back for that. Writing this essay WITHOUT doing so is a part of my final leave, my final grip. If i you resonate with what I've written, I recommend you all write up an "essay" (since anything above a paragraph is an essay here lol, which btw I love reading from you all) and display your gratitude and hopes for the future and never return here again. Even writing my gratitude down has made me feel more normie-happy, if that makes sense: i feel it reverting my degeneration a little bit, so maybe all that gratitutde journal advice is legit.
Bless all of you. I wish you all the best. I am a looksmaxxing addict, but I am looking forward to a better tomorrow.
-- A random person who will now find new copes, hopefully irl with real people, where my smile can be reflected into theirs
You have all helped me tremendously with improving myself.
The gains I've made from BOTB threads were worth the autism. Seeing people being anonymously low inhib and spewing out bullshit was fun. Learning more about this sphere of technical knowledge and niche conversationisms has been a good time overall but addicting. Now my brain is wired for continuously more valuable/fun content, but it's just diminishing gains for the same degree of autism gained. I'm beginning to head toward true non-NT autism with the potential for unnecessary surgeries, which will leave me worse than where I began. This isn't to discount the value of surgeries for some but rather to discount the need to perfect everything that CAN be perfected harmoniously. In most cases, drastic procedures AND even some drastic softmaxxes may make you look better, but churn a significant part of your soul to mush.
For me, I have found myself losing my neurotypical bluepill cope characteristics and such that make socializing less harmonious. I'd rather cope with being naturally, unforcefully empathetic for example than with being judgemental, narcissistic, and negative, regardless of how "correct" or superior the latter attitude may be in any situation. It's funny to think how lame all of this autism will seem down the line. Maybe it wont, maybe it'll be the truest knowledge I'll know, but I feel I'm making a good decision.
If you are new-ish like me, absorb as much as you can quickly, and leave soon. There are many awesome posts here. But I can see this site beginning to revert my progress due to autism and neural circuitry fuckery. It already has for sure, but to leave rn was a sudden and conscious decision (for me to write this and then leave). The site was a grip for me in the oddest of situations. Now I want to experience the discomfort of griplessness for what I hope/cope will be a brighter future.
As much as I'd love to read and enjoy and laugh at the dnr, 0, water, genuine, "he'll be back", and autistic comments. I will not even come back for that. Writing this essay WITHOUT doing so is a part of my final leave, my final grip. If i you resonate with what I've written, I recommend you all write up an "essay" (since anything above a paragraph is an essay here lol, which btw I love reading from you all) and display your gratitude and hopes for the future and never return here again. Even writing my gratitude down has made me feel more normie-happy, if that makes sense: i feel it reverting my degeneration a little bit, so maybe all that gratitutde journal advice is legit.
Bless all of you. I wish you all the best. I am a looksmaxxing addict, but I am looking forward to a better tomorrow.
-- A random person who will now find new copes, hopefully irl with real people, where my smile can be reflected into theirs
