My childhood friends sense my developing autism

[SecularIslamist]

Met some after Eid namaz in my hometown. Some after many years. They felt like strangers. I was pretty quiet around them. They kept saying wassup like as if something was wrong with me. But there isn't. I remember being NT around them and some of them would even look up to me for direction or authority back during our school days. But now I'm just a side character.


My life ended at 18 just when it was supposed to get started. When I left for uni and tried to started afresh, it went downhill. I isolated myself and dug myself a hole and kept digging even to this day. I would've rather been friendless lonecel in childhood than adulthood. My fortunes have been reversed.

@Abhorrence brutal for you if you've been like this all your life.

 

[sub5c3l]

I have no friends so no one can sense my developing autism

 

[Pikabro]

Yes is so brutal ngl.

 

[SecularIslamist]

I have no friends so no one can sense my developing autism

I wonder if it's 'worse' for people who have never had friends since it's always been a part of their life and you've never known any different.

Or whether I have some privileged sense of entitlement and lost it, so I feel worse off? Even though my situation was once fine.

I was NT when young, like gigaNT. Out of my school year group of 200 people, I was probably like top 10 character.

 

[Michael Myers]

Joever.

 

[sub5c3l]

I wonder if it's 'worse' for people who have never had friends since it's always been a part of their life and you've never known any different.

Or whether I have some privileged sense of entitlement and lost it, so I feel worse off?

no clue

I was NT when young, like gigaNT. Out of my school year group of 200 people, I was probably like top 10 character.

I was always non nt

 

[Lulleko]

Ah the good ol' days of childhood when life was simple and you could make friends by discussing favorite colors or who's your favorite pokemon.

 

[Abhorrence]

Im not only developing autism i might be developing schizophrenia social situations are starting to get me tweaking and shit i might go full hikikomori

 

[sub5c3l]

Im not only developing autism i might be developing schizophrenia social situations are starting to get me tweaking and shit i might go full hikikomori

being a NEET is gay

 

[Abhorrence]

being a NEET is gay

its depressing

 

[Abhorrence]

im actually not a NEET still in uni

 

[SecularIslamist]

Im not only developing autism i might be developing schizophrenia social situations are starting to get me tweaking and shit i might go full hikikomori

What's the difference between hikkimori or being early retired? NEETbuxxing is living low quality life.

Fr I plan to retire in 40s. Without being megarich but enough to sustain myself. I don't see the point in working if I have nothing to live for, no kids etc. The govt will take my assets once I die. So why should I get work?

 

[MaghrebGator]

Bro at least you have friends. I only socialize with my barber once every 2-3 weeks and i don't even have the mental fortitude to tell him to fix something he did wrong

 

[Abhorrence]

What's the difference between hikkimori or being early retired? NEETbuxxing is living low quality life.

Fr I plan to retire in 40s. Without being megarich but enough to sustain myself. I don't see the point in working if I have nothing to live for, no kids etc. The govt will take my assets once I die. So why should I get work?

im tired of being a leech i want to get a remote job then surgerymaxx to oblivion and try out methods to fix depressed brain

 

[robtical]

I was gigaNT when young too. Things changed when i started balding and got uglier. Affected my personality hard and "childhood friends" kinda started treating me as obligation to talk to than ask to hang out.

Im just glad im back to good looking with age but hair still not nw1

 

[SecularIslamist]

Bro at least you have friends.

Childhood only. We drift apart every year as they ascend in life.

I only socialize with my barber once every 2-3 weeks and i don't even have the mental fortitude to tell him to fix something he did wrong or whatever

Same tbh. Even in situations strangers inadvertently wrong me. My reaction is always it's okay or don't worry. I never stand up for myself.

im tired of being a leech i want to get a remote job then surgerymaxx to oblivion and try out methods to fix depressed brain

You don't need surgery. But surgery could fix depressed brain. I swear 90% of people are getting / wanting surgery to cure their mental health. I don't think you're any different bhai. Even if it does physically ascend you 0.25 PSL.

 

[SecularIslamist]

I was gigaNT when young too. Things changed when i started balding and got uglier. Affected my personality hard and "childhood friends" kinda started treating me as obligation to talk to than ask to hang out.

Im just glad im back to good looking with age but hair still not nw1

How are you curry and balding? It's gigarare isn't it?

 

[robtical]

How are you curry and balding? It's gigarare isn't it?

Yes i was outlier. But nowadays quite a lot start balding early mid 20s. Im nw2a and i know many who started later but more bald than me. I stopped for some reason

 

[SecularIslamist]

Yes i was outlier. But nowadays quite a lot start balding early mid 20s. Im nw2a and i know many who started later but more bald than me. I stopped for some reason

Maybe you on fin that's why

 

[robtical]

Maybe you on fin that's why

Never took fin or minox

 

[fukmylyf]

from big dog to abused dog. I know this story all too well. It's the reason i avoided people from my childhood for so long. One of my biggest regrets tbh. I missed out on a decade worth of memories and personal growth because of my ego.

Childhood friends are extremely valuable. We weren't meant to live like this, moving from place to place. You're supposed to have roots somewhere and belong to a community. It's a huge part of your identity. That's why I'm reconnecting with some of my childhood friends this summer, after almost 15 years.

 

[boxface34]

Low inhibition and connection is life

 

[aesthetic beauty]

Met some after Eid namaz in my hometown. Some after many years. They felt like strangers. I was pretty quiet around them. They kept saying wassup like as if something was wrong with me. But there isn't. I remember being NT around them and some of them would even look up to me for direction or authority back during our school days. But now I'm just a side character.


My life ended at 18 just when it was supposed to get started. When I left for uni and tried to started afresh, it went downhill. I isolated myself and dug myself a hole and kept digging even to this day. I would've rather been friendless lonecel in childhood than adulthood. My fortunes have been reversed.

@Abhorrence brutal for you if you've been like this all your life.

Any way to turn it around?

 

[SecularIslamist]

Any way to turn it around?

No I'm oldcel. It's over for me boyo. Like @fukmylyf said, it's not as easy as making social connections as easy as talking about your favourite colour or Pokémon cards

 

[optimisticzoomer]

I feel myself becoming more mentally ill by the day

Tbf though, it fluctuates. A couple of months ago I was genuinely concerned I was going insane, but now I'm fine

 

[SecularIslamist]

I feel myself becoming more mentally ill by the day

Tbf though, it fluctuates. A couple of months ago I was genuinely concerned I was going insane, but now I'm fine

Yeah. I'm not genetically or naturally an autist. COVID and WFH, moving out in middle of nowhere alone made me an autist.

But I feel like I can't reconnect.