BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
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Sugar Hill produced Rapper's Delight in 1978 which hit the scene the following year among disco cesspools of roasties, drug dealers, and cartels making their own debut as the grand master of cocaine supply.
However, Rapper's Delight wouldn't go mainstream until Blondie and Grandmaster Flash's permanent footprints in the world of hip-hop.
The hefty cocaine and crack consumption sparked Grandmaster's affection for DC Comics Flash. Originally, before they discovered the blend of the drug with crowds, they were known as Captain Crook. But other black folks mocked their title as one feller explained, "Brother, you looking goofy as fuck! Calling yourself a cereal is creepy, not gonna lie, my nigga fly."
The band became depressed, knowing they would have to change their name, although they failed to research the fake news. They would know the cereal is called Captain Krunch and Captain Crook was actually a villain character from McDonald's groom-the-children commercials. Thankfully, nature would help the band one night when a Mexican walked into their studio and said, "I got a product that's so crazy ... it'll make you all rich and seduce women's lust." He slapped a bag of cocaine on the table.
By the next morning, while wired on coke, they agreed to a new name -- Grandmaster Flash! The rest is history.
Rapper's Delight stayed in the back alleys of the music empire until a scrawny, drugged roastie stumbled into a party full of BBCs in 1980. Her name was Debbie Harry. And no, she had no relation to Dirty Harry, but as you're about to learn, she should've been named exactly that! She was the singer of an American rock band named Blondie that was founded in 1974 in some old Jewish guy's garage. They were known as "Squatters" then.
On that particular evening, Debbie was introduced to a 'catchback on boyfriend' scheme known as gangbang. Today, we call it train. She had a falling out with her lover after she caught him having sex with another roastie. She wanted to teach him a lesson. Ugh. He would later feel a sense of masculine infliction and shame when he sampled her byproduct during makeup sex. "It feels like tossing a hot dog down a hallway. I can't feel your pussy anymore, Deb."
After that SOOOOOOUUUULLL train, Debbie was in the bathroom, washing the black people's semen off her body and draining the gallons of it from her severely wrecked vagina. An odd melody echoed through the closed door of the restroom.
I said-a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie. To the hip hip hop-a you don't stop the rock. It to the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie. To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. She rushed to the music in the living room while holding her agonizingly sore vagina. "What is this music?" she yelled to the black men.
"Shiet, cracker hoe, this be ain't no thang, slippy sloppy slope, for real, deal. Groovy to the movie, ho ho ho, I'm not Santo!" a feller said.
Confusion assaulted her expression. "The fuck did you just say? You talk like a Martian. Like a man from Mars." The music faded into silence as her eyes widened. Her mouth gaped. A metaphorical light bulb lit up above her head. She had an idea that was so crazy ...
The next year, Blondie introduced the world to (Rap)ture.
Two years later, Grandmaster Flash dipped into Debbie during one of her gangbang acts of revenge on boyfriend and learned the secrets of rap composition. That year, he would bring a song like no other to the world. And one day, decades later, the song would adopt a CGI bear from Knoxville, Tennessee. As a result, people will no longer think of Grandmaster Flash, dancing, or the black community. They will be reminded of the cheap B-movie atmosphere with talentless and unfunny actors that triggered Ray Liotta to relapse into the afterlife.
For the next several decades, many more opportunists would join the rap sensation that would lead to the greatest promotion of violence, disrespect of women, and drug glorification the world ever endured. And because of rap music and that cheap Cocaine Bear movie, China will declare a world war against the USA in 2024.
However, Rapper's Delight wouldn't go mainstream until Blondie and Grandmaster Flash's permanent footprints in the world of hip-hop.
The hefty cocaine and crack consumption sparked Grandmaster's affection for DC Comics Flash. Originally, before they discovered the blend of the drug with crowds, they were known as Captain Crook. But other black folks mocked their title as one feller explained, "Brother, you looking goofy as fuck! Calling yourself a cereal is creepy, not gonna lie, my nigga fly."
The band became depressed, knowing they would have to change their name, although they failed to research the fake news. They would know the cereal is called Captain Krunch and Captain Crook was actually a villain character from McDonald's groom-the-children commercials. Thankfully, nature would help the band one night when a Mexican walked into their studio and said, "I got a product that's so crazy ... it'll make you all rich and seduce women's lust." He slapped a bag of cocaine on the table.
By the next morning, while wired on coke, they agreed to a new name -- Grandmaster Flash! The rest is history.
Rapper's Delight stayed in the back alleys of the music empire until a scrawny, drugged roastie stumbled into a party full of BBCs in 1980. Her name was Debbie Harry. And no, she had no relation to Dirty Harry, but as you're about to learn, she should've been named exactly that! She was the singer of an American rock band named Blondie that was founded in 1974 in some old Jewish guy's garage. They were known as "Squatters" then.
On that particular evening, Debbie was introduced to a 'catchback on boyfriend' scheme known as gangbang. Today, we call it train. She had a falling out with her lover after she caught him having sex with another roastie. She wanted to teach him a lesson. Ugh. He would later feel a sense of masculine infliction and shame when he sampled her byproduct during makeup sex. "It feels like tossing a hot dog down a hallway. I can't feel your pussy anymore, Deb."
After that SOOOOOOUUUULLL train, Debbie was in the bathroom, washing the black people's semen off her body and draining the gallons of it from her severely wrecked vagina. An odd melody echoed through the closed door of the restroom.
I said-a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie. To the hip hip hop-a you don't stop the rock. It to the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie. To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. She rushed to the music in the living room while holding her agonizingly sore vagina. "What is this music?" she yelled to the black men."Shiet, cracker hoe, this be ain't no thang, slippy sloppy slope, for real, deal. Groovy to the movie, ho ho ho, I'm not Santo!" a feller said.
Confusion assaulted her expression. "The fuck did you just say? You talk like a Martian. Like a man from Mars." The music faded into silence as her eyes widened. Her mouth gaped. A metaphorical light bulb lit up above her head. She had an idea that was so crazy ...
The next year, Blondie introduced the world to (Rap)ture.
Two years later, Grandmaster Flash dipped into Debbie during one of her gangbang acts of revenge on boyfriend and learned the secrets of rap composition. That year, he would bring a song like no other to the world. And one day, decades later, the song would adopt a CGI bear from Knoxville, Tennessee. As a result, people will no longer think of Grandmaster Flash, dancing, or the black community. They will be reminded of the cheap B-movie atmosphere with talentless and unfunny actors that triggered Ray Liotta to relapse into the afterlife.
For the next several decades, many more opportunists would join the rap sensation that would lead to the greatest promotion of violence, disrespect of women, and drug glorification the world ever endured. And because of rap music and that cheap Cocaine Bear movie, China will declare a world war against the USA in 2024.
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