[Socialmaxxing] How to win friends and influence people summary

[ComeSweetDeath]

It's a lot of common sense but I thought some tips were helpful. Here's a summary from wikipedia that saves you the trouble of reading the entire thing.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you."The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
2. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together."[6]:73 People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
4. Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[6]:143 If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11. Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
12. Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.

 

[Deleted member 5521]

Incel moment: Very rarely calling someone by their name

 

[Deleted member 1680]

Woah you expect me to read all of that, op??

Spoiler: Hi.

I did, good thread

 

[prgfromnl]

manipulate certain people in order to get what you want from them

not a lot of people you're friends with you're gonna be friends with forever - the timing and social group you interact with is most likely reason why you're friends with certain people. Why not make the best out of it?

 

[Deleted member 5683]

Cope book

 

[Deleted member 6191]

This is pretty accurate, pretty good thread. But I mean if this doesn't come naturlaly a bit odd, but gl anyways,.

 

[Deleted member 4209]

this sounds awful so basically you have to lie and pretend to like ppl and never tell them they're wrong even when they are. how do ppl do this shit every day.

 

[eduardkoopman]

It's a lot of common sense but I thought some tips were helpful. Here's a summary from wikipedia that saves you the trouble of reading the entire thing.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you."The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
2. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together."[6]:73 People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
4. Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[6]:143 If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11. Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
12. Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.

Read the book long time ago. And also listened to it on audia book.
A very good book. Also on human nature.
I still use that suggested trick, of NOT using the word BUT. And replacin it with, AND/AND ALSO/ALSO/To add to That/etc..

 

[Deleted member 5185]

Thanks for the summary OP! I love book summaries, so please keep em coming if you have read other good self help books.

 

[eduardkoopman]

this sounds awful so basically you have to lie and pretend to like ppl and never tell them they're wrong even when they are. how do ppl do this shit every day.

This is all about making people feel good/happy about themselfes and you.
Blackpill is about truth.
That book is about making people feel good, so you have to go full blue pill then inn you talkings. Because blackpill makes people unhappy. And blue Pill copes and hopes, make people happy and feel good. That's also a truth about this stuff.

For example, (besides the massive looks halo of Barabra Palvin). She is lieying alot here. Blue pilled stuff as fuck. yet, people love her for it, also her "personality". While all she is doing is virtue signaling and lieying. Whith stuff like: "i'm very attracted to asian men" and for some asian dude to call her and she would hang with him, and "it's all about personality what makes a man attractive", and stuff like that. Lies, but it makes people feel good and happy, about themselfes, the world, and thus her.

 

[HighIQcel]

Apply to at least average looking guys

 

[Deleted member 3323]

All very true or you can just simply be attractive and almost everything you do is seen in a good light.

 

[gaymidget]

But aren't you an guck if you listen to people without talking? Aren't you getting used as an emotional tampon by woman and do men dont think about as an passive fag?

 

[Jimsonbobson505]

this sounds awful so basically you have to lie and pretend to like ppl and never tell them they're wrong even when they are. how do ppl do this shit every day.

Thats why you have to be real humans we know when we're lying be honest even if you're a ugly cunt unlike me

 

[eduardkoopman]

All very true or you can just simply be attractive and almost everything you do is seen in a good light.

That factor is overlooked in that book, it's true.
That book is also about : infuenceing people so they will do what would like like them to do (aka, help you out).

Well we all know, looks help extremely alot (or make it very hard) to get help from people. If you look attractive, help and accomdating to you gets kinda offered:




Still as a normie, regularly attractive person. It helpes to use these techniques to get some help in life. And also for good looking people, to max on the help even more.

But aren't you an guck if you listen to people without talking? Aren't you getting used as an emotional tampon by woman and do men dont think about as an passive fag?

Could be. But the book is also about influencing people towards them doing things that will serve/help you. So that counters the point, of being used only. So i gues he discussed concepts like. telling a woman how you like how fair she traits people and complimenting her on that. And then maybe talking about what you do/did for her; and then bamm ask back for the avour you want. She will have a hard time denying it, since she want to reconfirm to herself she is a fair person, aka which means reciprocation. Unless you are ofcourse dealing with a narcist woman, then not trick works and you better run asap

 

[IndianJock]

But aren't you an guck if you listen to people without talking? Aren't you getting used as an emotional tampon by woman and do men dont think about as an passive fag?

Here's an add-on to what was mentioned in the post, props @ComeSweetDeath

You don't have to hang out with anyone. If you're around people who you dislike or are using you, get rid of them

It took me a long time to learn this lesson and the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I suffered a lot when I didn't know, but now I'm much happier.

Perhaps you are friends with someone only because you have no other options. PUA notions about the abundance mindset are useful here.
You are more open to people taking advantage of you when they are your only friends and you can't make others. If you have many friends and can make friends easily, you ditch abusive people quite easily.

That's why it is critical to have the ability to make friends easily. And how does that happen?

Largely the skills talked about in this post and a willingness to meet new people and try new activitiies.

Ofc looks plays a role, but I needn't preach to the choir here.

I will also say that it is important to be a valuable person as well. What does it mean to be someone who has value?
Basically someone who's going places. You have a dream and you're setting out to make it a reality. That kind of passion can draw people to you and combined with the skills mentioned here, you can get very far.

 

[jackthenerd]

Lmao at the end. The height pill is so insanely brutal. Same clothes, same everything. But a height difference. They think the tall guy is a "tycoon" that makes $500k+ a year. While the short guy is a depressed, quiet, guy who works as a cook and makes $20k a year.

 

[Deleted member 6492]

Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.

 

[Deleted member 5393]

this is the biggest bluepill cope ive ever seen

 

[mido the slayer]

Call me by your name

 

[Deleted member 5927]

bluepilled thread

 

[Subhuman trash]

Din read but the answer to the thread title is simply be good looking and tall.

 

[Michael]

imagine 'winning' friends lmao
bullshit

 

[Norwooder]

Insane technique to use
When telling a joke in a group situation make sure you direct it at only 1 or 2 people, they will feel obligued to laugh and it won't leave you in an awkward situation where noone in the group laughs (this is more likely to happen if you say the joke to a group)

 

[karbo]

shit thread
redpilled copecopecopecopecope

 

[Arkantos]

It's such an obvious book
I don't know why I wasted my time reading it

 

[Dude420]

authenticity > trying to be likeable

 

[Deleted member 6963]

Incel moment: Very rarely calling someone by their name

not remembering their name a minute after they told me

 

[LooksmaxFanatic]

This book basically tells you to act super agreeable, which is rather feminine.

 

[Lev Peshkov]

Simpler guide I've used for greater success

1)smile
2) be kind and compliment
3) listen to them

 

[Norwooder]

Simpler guide I've used for greater success

1)smile
2) be kind and compliment
3) listen to them

From heaps of social experience, I have found that laughing and smiling while looking into someones eyes creates a connection, something about both people having the dopamine rush while laughing/smiling with eachother deffinetly creates a stronger friendship

 

[Bewusst]

Din read but the answer to the thread title is simply be good looking and tall.

True to a large extent. Behavior and voice still matter a lot though.

 

[Deleted member 3635]

It's a lot of common sense but I thought some tips were helpful. Here's a summary from wikipedia that saves you the trouble of reading the entire thing.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you."The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
2. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together."[6]:73 People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
4. Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[6]:143 If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11. Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
12. Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.

Not a single nano pixel

 

[thecel]

Being friendly and likeable is great and all, but I’d much rather have dominance, power, and respect.

 

[Entschuldigung]

To make friends you just need to be with people, go out, tbh
i was socialmaxxing but rona ruined tbh

 

[Lev Peshkov]

From heaps of social experience, I have found that laughing and smiling while looking into someones eyes creates a connection, something about both people having the dopamine rush while laughing/smiling with eachother deffinetly creates a stronger friendship

This, I think its down to oxytocin