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Deleted member 14693
Kraken
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2021
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Official Cock Rating Guidelines
Are you wondering what a quality cock is? Sick of everyone only rating cocks by length? Need assistance rating a homie’s cock, or your own? We have you covered with this simple step-by-step guide!
Rules:
After finishing the cock review, it’s maths time! The tallied score is multiplied by the Cock Constant (1.69) then subtract 8, multiply by 0.85, and add 3 to calculate the adjusted measured score.
Now is finally time for the cock rating! Refer to the table below which includes: adjusted measured score, overall rating out of ten, and official verdict.
Are you wondering what a quality cock is? Sick of everyone only rating cocks by length? Need assistance rating a homie’s cock, or your own? We have you covered with this simple step-by-step guide!
Rules:
- Each section is ranked out of 10. Bonus points & negative scores are possible for some categories. Be honest and auto subtract six points if rating your own cock. Round up or down to the nearest quarter inch or half cm in applicable measurements. We will know if you lie.
- Ethics: Cock rating is a stressful process. Always give your homie and the measured cock encouragement while evaluating. Just don’t be gay. (Unless it’s June).
- Always start with “Great Cock, Bro”, regardless of if it’s a handsome hog or a tic-tac. The Homie Handbook states this is required. Consequences may apply.
- Length
- Use a regulation imperial ruler to measure from base to tip. If a ruler is not available in inches, do the math nerd.
- For every inch, add one point.
- Bonus points if length exceeds ten inches.
- Girth
- Wrap a metric tape-ruler around the cock until the ends meet.
- For every 2 cm, add one point.
- Bonus points are possible if girth exceeds 20 cm.
- Angle/Curvature
- Use a protractor to measure any angular variation from base. Measure vertically & horizontally.
- Score begins at ten points. Add vertical & horizontal angles, then subtract one point from the sum for every 10° of curvature.
- If cock is bent so angles exceed 100°, points will be negative
- Hair Length
- Use a metric ruler to measure length of a random hair at the cockbase, not near balls.
- Begin with ten points, Subtract one point for every 2mm of hair.
- Points can be negative if hair exceeds 20mm. If it’s a full bush, do not hesitate to be harsh.
End of regulation
- The Future of Cock Rating
- Balls: Scrotum Aesthetic, weight of balls, overall quality.
- Veins: health and appearance.
- Friction: How smooth or rough is the cock skin? Scaled from Frank Ocean’s voice to industrial grade sandpaper.
- Cut or Uncut?
- Taste test: ATTENTION BUDDY REQUIRED! Both parties must have socks on and say “no homo” before cocksucking! Or it’s gay. Taste test includes both the cock itself and resulting load.
- Other: Any unique features or tricks. Subjective but necessary.
After finishing the cock review, it’s maths time! The tallied score is multiplied by the Cock Constant (1.69) then subtract 8, multiply by 0.85, and add 3 to calculate the adjusted measured score.
Now is finally time for the cock rating! Refer to the table below which includes: adjusted measured score, overall rating out of ten, and official verdict.
| Tallied Score | Rating (__/10) | Verdict |
|---|---|---|
| > 50 | 10 | God tier Cock |
| 45-50 | 9 | Excellent Cock |
| 40-45 | 8 | Epic Cock |
| 35-40 | 7 | Great Cock |
| 30-35 | 6 | Nice Cock |
| 25-30 | 5 | Decent Cock |
| 20-25 | 4 | Meh Cock |
| 15-20 | 3 | Weak Cock |
| 10-15 | 2 | Undesirable Cock |
| 5-10 | 1 | Micro Cock |
| < 5 | 0 | Enlarged Clit |
