D
Deleted member 16220
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- Nov 28, 2021
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Jacob Hate is back.
Been pessimistic as fuck lately. For good reason. Realized some shit. Been through some shit. I fully saw the nature of humans and the actual world we live in. I looked deep into my own psyche as well as the actions of others and determined man is no good at all...he is so egotistical and self-centered and power hungry that you cannot even communicate with your fellow man most of the time unless you clearly show him how you are offering some good that he can feast his desires on. Then i recognized I am no different. I am displeased at the nature of man, i am displeased at myself.
I am displeased at the suffering of animals and the world, the pointlessness of the suffering and the almost unbearable pain of loneliness and agony of even existing. The endless tyranny, selfishness, and egoism and violence from my fellow man gives me no rest at all.
Imagine a life where your parents never loved you, you have no friends, and you aren't good enough looking to get any women. That's my life. Truly alone. In a world where anyone can message you from any corner of the earth, and nobody messages you, ever. Isn't that the biggest insult to your worth?
All of this causes me pain. To the point where i would use drugs just to not want to commit suicide. I used to have alcohol on hand just to get through lonely nights and forget my problems.
Even when I am submitting unto the suffering I am still suffering. Alcohol just relieves the feeling of pain but the entire time you are drunk you are still thinking about your problems. Even when I would watch porn to escape and play video games, I would still be in pain knowing I don't even really like the behavior im participating in. Im quite literally searching for a reason, any reason, any escape to do the right thing. I want to do the right thing, i just need one good reason to do it.
By nature I want to do good to others. I want to do the right thing. I want to fight endlessly and have a reason to die. I just couldn't find that reason for so long.
I decided to just start running again. So I did. And i would set impossible goals for myself and with absolutely nothing to lose in life just put everything into reaching my objective. Eventually I got to a point where I said no matter what I will reach the goal. Even if I die I'll come back as a ghost and pull my dead body to the finish line. I'm reaching the finish line. I don't care. And inevitably with a mindset like that I did achieve my goals. And my mind changed at that point, and I woke up.
The next day I did the same thing. I realized damn, im ugly as fuck as well as a loser. So i went running again with that same intensity. I reached my goal and sat down to rest. Then i realized, damn, im going to do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, to reach my goals. And no matter what, i have to get up and face that I'm going to die one day. I don't even really want to die, not really, i actually want to succeed and free myself from this misery. So i got up with a different sort of rage and attacked my run on the way back in agony and for once, my mental pain was 1:1 with my emotional and mental pain.
I realized I made my physical pain equal to my mental pain, and the act of throwing myself towards my goal was making my mind stronger.
I'm back on track now.
You say we are all just animals. Just a brain and a body. Just a mistake of nature. A meaningless mistake. You might be right. How do you maximize your success going forward with this information. You just stated we are a brain and a body.
Have you ever noticed, all the most optimistic individuals, also the most successful individuals, practice daily extreme forms of physical activity to the point where the mental state matches the physical challenges they accomplish, and the most pathetic minded, weak minded individuals, practice absolutely zero physical activity at all?
Are you so sure then that the mind is so free? It seems to be the product of its environment, and your brain lives in your body, so your brain is the product of whatever your body is doing.
Take care of your body and your minds thoughts will be clear too.
Achieve the impossible with your body and watch what happens to your thoughts.
You start to think like me. You sound a little crazy to the loser retards you hang around. You want more.
I'm back motherfucker.
Been pessimistic as fuck lately. For good reason. Realized some shit. Been through some shit. I fully saw the nature of humans and the actual world we live in. I looked deep into my own psyche as well as the actions of others and determined man is no good at all...he is so egotistical and self-centered and power hungry that you cannot even communicate with your fellow man most of the time unless you clearly show him how you are offering some good that he can feast his desires on. Then i recognized I am no different. I am displeased at the nature of man, i am displeased at myself.
I am displeased at the suffering of animals and the world, the pointlessness of the suffering and the almost unbearable pain of loneliness and agony of even existing. The endless tyranny, selfishness, and egoism and violence from my fellow man gives me no rest at all.
Imagine a life where your parents never loved you, you have no friends, and you aren't good enough looking to get any women. That's my life. Truly alone. In a world where anyone can message you from any corner of the earth, and nobody messages you, ever. Isn't that the biggest insult to your worth?
All of this causes me pain. To the point where i would use drugs just to not want to commit suicide. I used to have alcohol on hand just to get through lonely nights and forget my problems.
Even when I am submitting unto the suffering I am still suffering. Alcohol just relieves the feeling of pain but the entire time you are drunk you are still thinking about your problems. Even when I would watch porn to escape and play video games, I would still be in pain knowing I don't even really like the behavior im participating in. Im quite literally searching for a reason, any reason, any escape to do the right thing. I want to do the right thing, i just need one good reason to do it.
By nature I want to do good to others. I want to do the right thing. I want to fight endlessly and have a reason to die. I just couldn't find that reason for so long.
I decided to just start running again. So I did. And i would set impossible goals for myself and with absolutely nothing to lose in life just put everything into reaching my objective. Eventually I got to a point where I said no matter what I will reach the goal. Even if I die I'll come back as a ghost and pull my dead body to the finish line. I'm reaching the finish line. I don't care. And inevitably with a mindset like that I did achieve my goals. And my mind changed at that point, and I woke up.
The next day I did the same thing. I realized damn, im ugly as fuck as well as a loser. So i went running again with that same intensity. I reached my goal and sat down to rest. Then i realized, damn, im going to do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, to reach my goals. And no matter what, i have to get up and face that I'm going to die one day. I don't even really want to die, not really, i actually want to succeed and free myself from this misery. So i got up with a different sort of rage and attacked my run on the way back in agony and for once, my mental pain was 1:1 with my emotional and mental pain.
I realized I made my physical pain equal to my mental pain, and the act of throwing myself towards my goal was making my mind stronger.
I'm back on track now.
You say we are all just animals. Just a brain and a body. Just a mistake of nature. A meaningless mistake. You might be right. How do you maximize your success going forward with this information. You just stated we are a brain and a body.
Have you ever noticed, all the most optimistic individuals, also the most successful individuals, practice daily extreme forms of physical activity to the point where the mental state matches the physical challenges they accomplish, and the most pathetic minded, weak minded individuals, practice absolutely zero physical activity at all?
Are you so sure then that the mind is so free? It seems to be the product of its environment, and your brain lives in your body, so your brain is the product of whatever your body is doing.
Take care of your body and your minds thoughts will be clear too.
Achieve the impossible with your body and watch what happens to your thoughts.
You start to think like me. You sound a little crazy to the loser retards you hang around. You want more.
I'm back motherfucker.
