Losing faith in god i just give up

[BibleBelieving]

I was sleeping outside on outdoor couch with my cat whom I love.

Kitty.


Cute sweet stray cat with chipped ears and I protect her against evil cats. She was left as a little cub by a owner here who moved. She prob got hit by mean cats on her ear. I imagine her crying at night. Or silent. Yet crying inside. Lonely. Sad. Abandoned. If GOD is Just and Real maybe he brought her to me to take care of all this time to adopt.


Well. I ask my dad to throw me a blanket cuz I have ocd and intrusive evil thoughts if I go myself and I was cozy.


He throws the blanket sheet down from balcony and it almost hits her and she runs off. She doesn't come back to me I call him a fucking idiot after he leaves.


Faggot bitch and my cat leaves. She left and is probably scared now and feels unsafe and thinks i did it to harm her and God coulda put His Spirit in her like He supposedly did to the animals in Noah time to go in the arc


He didn't. He didn't bring her back to lay with me so I can sleep outside. Now I will sin and cry and hate life. Demonic clown world.

 

[Deleted member 30325]

I call him a fucking idiot after he leaves.

Should have said that to his face

 

[Deleted member 30518]

I feel like this about myself at times. From the outside, I probably seem like some subhuman isolated genetic dead-end. It's easy to end up having an existential crisis by thinking about how cruel the state of the world is so instead, I just do drugs to cope. It is what it is but I stopped dreaming and hoping a long time ago. My only goal in life is to somehow pass the days quicker so I can be closer to death since I'm too apathetic and low T to actually rope

 

[Deleted member 29796]

Yeah, he is definitely bullshit and if he wasn't, he is weak as hell or corrupt as hell and allows it. Pathetic.

 

[BibleBelieving]

I feel like this about myself at times. From the outside, I probably seem like some subhuman isolated genetic dead-end. It's easy to end up having an existential crisis by thinking about how cruel the state of the world is so instead, I just do drugs to cope. It is what it is but I stopped dreaming and hoping a long time ago. My only goal in life is to somehow pass the days quicker so I can be closer to death since I'm too apathetic and low T to actually rope

Pass the days quicker. This seems like a good thing to focus on. I'm done living for God and struggling in pain FUCK THIS I will become be porn addict and not give a fuck if a intrusive blasphemous thought enters my head anymore. Being Christian is actually BAD for my psychology cuz it allows my ocd to shame me and try to fight intrusive thoughts constantly and have ocd rituals of praying.

God didn't take the ocd away so its his fault anyhow

 

[materialistic]

Pass the days quicker. This seems like a good thing to focus on. I'm done living for God and struggling in pain FUCK THIS I will become be porn addict and not give a fuck if a intrusive blasphemous thought enters my head anymore. Being Christian is actually BAD for my psychology cuz it allows my ocd to shame me and try to fight intrusive thoughts constantly and have ocd rituals of praying.

God didn't take the ocd away so its his fault anyhow

Doing like you said will make things go 100x worse.

 

[Debetro]

Low T