Became Better Looking - Now I FAIL On Dating Apps

[Deleted member 4612]

Maybe you just got uglier.

 

[eduardkoopman]

Interesting. But I don't think that chatting up randoms, aka - cold approach, is the right thing to do. A high value men doesn't do that, he acts upon choosing signals.

I agree, it's best to go by chosing signals. They can be subtle though, and in daily day-life for sure, so a bit hard to spot/notice sometimes.

My approach back then always was. Which is I think was the best one espacially for a low tier normie dude like me.
The location doesn't matter much. Just find ways for every location I go to to get into contact with women if possible. I don't think adding chatting up randoms in daily life, is a wrong thing to do. It's the most hardcore, and thoughest way. But that's about it.


What is right/wrong anyways?
For me, chatting up randoms was okay-ish. Since I was opportunist by nature and always focussed on time efficient way to meet women and get dates. And chatting up randoms in my daily life, was pretty time efficient for me at the end. I had to take the train, do the groceries, walk to ..., etc.. anyways. So that way I used that time efficient, to also chat up women I fancied and sometimes get a date/telephone number out of it (probably about 10% at that time). I had the opportunist approach of, get to meet 10 women an 1 will lead to contact exchange and/or date.

It's just a possible way to add to mixx, imo.
Other obvious ways of meeting women. Which is also good to add to the mix (if you like it), are: nightlife/partying, social events, hobbies/clubs, online dating/social media gameing, etc..

Each has it's pro's and con's. What is beter? I dunno, whatever works for a person, it's all good.
I think.
- Chatting up randoms in daily life (biggest pro: time efficient. biggest con: brutal and nervous)
- nightlife/partying (biggest pro: women open to meeting randoms and likely more easy. biggest con: fucks up sleep, frustration, bad for health (alcohol and sleep depriving), expensive)
- hobbies/clubs (biggest pro: like-minded and can wait before getting signal. biggest cons: slow/not many/low volume and possibly awkward if it goes south/bad and loss of status in group/club
- online/soical media (biggest pro: easy to mass message and no real rejection. biggest cons: massive male competition, time wasiting (I read it takes the aveareg dude 40 hours on Tinder to get 1 date. (for comparisson, back in the day I could get a date chatting up randoms, with less then 4 hours time investments for sure.)

Even if you looksmax hard, you still get 90% rejection rate. Why participate in a game you can't win ?

I always focussed back then, on the number: "it takes me about 10 chatups to get a date or phonenumber". I was (and am) opportunist by nature, and have a bit of a blind spot to the fails/fail rate.
I feel the whole dating game, women in general have the upper hand initially anyways. So it's a difficult thing to "win" t anyways, as a man.

What do you suggest? When does a man have the upper hand?
Waiting untill a woman approaches you/me? Or waiting untill gets aan clearish invitation signal?
I agree with that approach. But I never/rarely got those back in the days (PSL 3 - 3.5 type of dude). So passivity, equalled nothing happening. Pro-activeness equaledback then a huge rejection rate, but also some dates and kisses, and a lay 1% of the times. Better then zero.

Nowadays. I do get some attention from women, now and then. But defenately not the types I even want to consider starting a relationship with. I hope to looksmaxx, and overall up myself to a position. Where the quality of women that give me attention are of better quality. That's why I decided to stay opted out untill next summer, to focus on that.
I always believed, that waiting for women to approach you or give a really clear signal. A dude only gets on average women that are like 20% below him (aka 2/10 irl points below him). Since most people that are giving out signals, try to date up. I must say, I haven't seen it happening differently yet. Now If I can looksmaxx to an 8/10 irl; I wouldn't mind banging a 6/10 irl woman now and then (but not for long term).

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Participate in games you have the upper hand to begin with.

You are getting choosinf signals from women you don't like, i think if you improve looks 1.5PSL, you will start getting signals from more attractive women

I agree. Largely with this concept.
That's why I wanna aim to take a different approach this time, then back 10+ years ago when I was active (I beleived in the "game is most important" fallacy). I'll aim to maxx myself first. untill next summer. And then, i'll try out the different stuff/waysand compare them. Creating my own personal data.
I'll also see, how much chosing signals I get then from women. That's the most ideal obviously, it almost always is a better start I recalll when a woman made the first effort/signal.
I'll likely also try doing some random chatupps, just to collec data on how well that goes and compare.
Maybe I'll also try online dating this time.
This time I will try to maxx myself as much as possible beforehand though, and don't fall for the "it's all about game/personality/confidence meme"