days are starting to bleed, time flees, and not giving a fuck if I leave

[maxilofailo]

idk man just what Ive noticed
this is the first year things are going by super fast. I swear april just started and we already halfway through
days are starting to bleed into each other as time seems to speed up

and Im starting to give up hope
for any christiancels here, I have prayed, had faithed, repented, but God still wont bless me with the life I want and NEED
Overall Im just starting to give up in my mind
for the first time the thought of death didnt even give me any anxiety, which in turn, gave me anxiety

It feels like the world is against me, the creater, shit even I might be against me

I've tried to adopt the whole "self destruction thing" but bro its unrealistic because one I cannot just destory my entire life it will be worse and HARDER for me to recover (thats the part fight club doesnt mention, if self improvement is masturbation, self destruction is self-harm) and two I cannot for the life of me get rid of my ego. not to mention im norwooding which is just fucking brutal asf being my hair the only thing keeping me in the game

but that doesnt even bother me that much (can always get a top transplant and forehead reduction) but yeah life is just pretty empty

I dont talk to anyone on a daily basis, despite being in UNI, I only have like one friend I actually hang out with.
I have no girlfriend, and as far as hooking up, if I was doing that I wouldnt be here (but you already knew that JFL)
Mogged on a daily basis (which DOES bother me)

but one of the worst of them all is that I dont know who I am
I have interests, hobbies, things I like, but I am never able to verbalize this to people or to a foid in the rare chance I talk to one

I remember my senior year of high school this kid asked me "maxilofailo, what are your hobbies" just out of no where at the lunch table we were sitting at
I didnt know what to say, because I DIDNT HAVE ANY. After school I would just go home fuck around procrastinate go to sleep wake up do it all over again
I got offended at that statement, because I thought HE KNEW THAT
and a little over a year later, nothing has changed

fuck man, fuck this life
just seems like everything is bullshit

or maybe if I fucked my oneitis I would be fine JFL

 

[lemonnz]

dnrd but we need to reverse jewish brainrot, #1 priority in life, look at our society, bunch of gay depressed faggots

 

[maxilofailo]

dnrd but we need to reverse jewish brainrot, #1 priority in life, look at our society, bunch of gay depressed faggots

Is it even possible? my brain is so fucked I dont even know where to begin. And I can say this with confidence because I've tried at least 100 times

 

[lemonnz]

Is it even possible? my brain is so fucked I dont even know where to begin. And I can say this with confidence because I've tried at least 100 times

It’s unreasonable to try to fight it directly or limit it since your brain is just too addicted to it, instead just stop using it/delete it. I’m also thinking about buying a fitbit which has all the good things about a smartphone (alarm, steps, etc) except the jewish social media.

 

[maxilofailo]

It’s unreasonable to try to fight it directly or limit it since your brain is just too addicted to it, instead just stop using it/delete it. I’m also thinking about buying a fitbit which has all the good things about a smartphone (alarm, steps, etc) except the jewish social media.

quitting cold turkey is hard asf and rarely eorks but when it does it really does
might be the only option