ascension
LARP Detection Expert
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2019
- Posts
- 10,559
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logged into delete my account this is my last message here i will not be seeing any replies nothing left for me here i got nothing left to prove deleted everything gave away all my social media accounts emails etc. to forgetjay don't have time for any of this anymore, no hope left for me here can't get a job college or a relationship because of my digital foot print. i don't care what happens to me anymore or my life, i don't give a shit about anything anymore let alone any music i've ever made or anything wasted all of my time money and resources to pursue this online act im done with it, i have been for a while now, i knew this time would come for a while. it's all gone now hope you guys archived it if not i dont give a fuck i'll be destroying this computer soon with a sledgehammer and dumping it in the nearest lake. i am not fucking kidding, i have nothing left, everything was taken away with me. wasted all my teenage years because i was young impressionable and brainwashed by sick fucks like all of you who like to prey on children and indoctrinate them into this cult, i didn't even want to say anything that rude besides the opening lines of this thread generalizing just a few people, but y'alls reponse proves that you all lack empathy for a young mind who was tortured into self isolation psychosis, drugs, and manpiulated by people older than them to do twisted things on the internet like saying the most outlandish offensive things, hitting my face with a hammer for 2 years, and other shit i don't even want to bring up in exchange for clicks and laughs directed towards me. i was misguided no parental figures to help guide me the right way, didn't have therapy, or a way to medicate myself, and all this doesn't affect me anymore, blackpill is not real, looksmaxing doesnt work, i am not an incel. i am not apart of this community anymore, doing what i should've done a long time ago. oh and fuck all the people still trying to keep this persona alive by making tiktoks and the weirdo freaks trying to make documentaries on me, they don't know my real personality at all, nor do any of my past friends they're trying to interview me who knew me like 12 years ago. i am aware i have caused a lot of harm to a lot of communities and people most likely whenever i was in crystal meth psychosis given to me at 17 by my own mother who i haven't seen in exactly one year since I had my overdose on January 14th, 2023. i am sorry to anyone i have ever hurt, or any girl or guy i threatened, and i am sorry to this community for even making an account, my presence was not needed here, i was just a dumb fucking kid with too much time on my hands, seeing hallucinations consisting of the most awful horrid imagery (demons, etc.), depersonalization, derealization, sleep paralysis, psychosis, and much more, i was not in my right mind from the time i created this account, but being here just made it worse. i only just recently got mentally stable, with a fuck ton of therapy, and medication, i finally am looking back and am thinking...damn what happened to my life, i cannot believe i am the guy in this profile picture, and i cannot believe i used to be that kid. man what happened, i used to be an innocent christian who never did drugs, never even fucking vaped i just wanted people to respect & like me for my art, yet I am always the scapegoat, I will always be the one who is tortured, and beat repeatedly on the ground by the masses, i have had this treatment four fucking years, and i am fed up with it, i am done with anything having to do with the internet. there will be no see you tomorrow, i am not reactivating, this site means nothing to me, and blackpill doesn't either. i am not mad, angry, or even sad, just regretful as to how i wasted my prime teenage years doing all this shit for no reward, i am broke now spent all my last 10 grand on drugs & uber eats. i am not upset at any of the users here anymore, this paragraph was enough to let it out, i feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. i am not mad at the mods, or the owner of this website either, as they had no responsibility for the chronically online internet trolls on this website. none of this matters to me, it is released from my soul, vanquished, banished from my realm of thought. this is nothing more than a figment of the past, and by the time you are reading this i will already be gone, don't bother contacting me anymore, you will get no response i will just ignore you and move on with my life, most likely i won't even receive your message, because i never check any of my socials phone number or emails, i am not an internet type anymore, and this should give you all lifefuel, if i was able to get out of this mindset with how deep i was, anyone can, i promise it is not that difficult. take shrooms, or get therapy, or both but all of you are in negative mindsets & bad headspaces so i fear psychedelics will be extremely wrong to take at this moment in time, so i will just reccommend you all to get therapy, i admitted that i had a problem & wanted to change, so i did. i am not the same person you all knew, saw, i don't look the way you think, i am 230 lbs right now, i never had a single surgical procedure that was not medical everything was fake & you were all fooled boo hoo sorry so sad, there is no lore and you are all fucking retards for believing everything you saw on the internet. initially in this dnrd post, and the title, I was upset, but just because I had to let go all the music i spent the past 2 years working on, before I ever met N0RTH I saw a thecel post of him singing a mewing song and I saw other incelcore artists in like 2019 like negativexp & knew that i was going to make this type of music, I even made a few before the first official release with N0RTH, sadly I don't have them anymore but that is irrelevant. Regardless, I was extremely emotional about all of this, and it just occured to me hit me out of nowhere that I had to do this and it is a lot for me to process at the moment. I don't hate any of you, or the people who got me into this stuff, the people who got me to do bad things to others and myself, the people in 2020 who turned me into what i became, because you all were misled like me, into living a life full of hatred, vanity, and evil. Nothing we can't come back from, it will take time, and effort on all of your parts, but if you really want to get better, you got to do it. Anyone active on this forum has horrible mental health, all this internet shit is bad for the psyche, honeslty in my opinion Tiktok and instagram have done worse things to people than this site ever will be. I'd rather have tiktok taken down than this little site any day, but that is a story for a day that will never come, at least you won't hear it from me, i added an ending statement whenever i was heated initially typing this so it will come after this, but I just wanted to say goodbye guys, even though it was a horrible, dark stage of my life, at least i made some friends and had some enjoyment out of seeing the numbers go up after i took things too far with my character. i don't care about the numbers motion clout views whatever you want to call it anymore, it doesn't matter to me, I've seen it all been around all these famous internet figures & artists, been around famous tiktokers in real life, gotten a couple record contracts like last year before may, but none of it matters to me not even .000001% and less. i don't want fame, or money, i don't want any of this dirty money from anything it's evil, this world is cruel. notoriety is not for me, fame isn't either. i could never ever be famous and go on tiktok again even if i wanted to. no one would ever buy i can't even say my name but no one would ever buy my merch or go to a concert of mine and it doesn't phase me in the least, i will still make music sometimes with forgetjay and my friends from my old school, but that will be on their shit not mine, i am only doing it for them, i have no enjoyment out of anything anymore, i feel absolutely nothing. Do not trust any people here they are all malicious, controlled opposition who want to control your life and fuck up & skew your perception of yourself, others, and the world for life, man, you gotta get out as soon as possible, life is better without all of this shit, it is time to take your life back and go live on this earthly experience. while i do take responsiblity for what i did to myself, i do not take responsibility for the special circumstances i was under that made me make that certain choice. you guys will look back at all of this in 5-10 years most likely less, and be like damn what did i do with my life. just like i did wishing u could have a do over and go back to highschool and fix shit. but that's not this reality, everything happened, and that's okay. i accept what i have done & have made my best effort to make amends with myself others & this community, but you know what i am done. if someone has a problem with me i don't care, i have apologized to every single person i have ever hurt, i have poured my heart out the past year begging for forgiveness but i have nothing left to prove to a single soul anymore, i am emotionally and physically drained from the toll that living as this person has taken on me. hope you all get better and manage to find a way out of this shit, it won't be easy, but it is certainly achievable. don't listen to the nihillists, and narcissists on here that will try to tell you it's over, or you can't get out. it's never over for anyone, you all are perfect the way you are naturally, you don't need to change a single thing about yourself, you are all beautiful people on this planet, you guys are so beautiful you don't even realize, you need to find friends that will uplift and be there for you and keep being yourself, and the right girl will come along i promise, just wait it out, things always get better bro, she will come, and you will be so happy, just imagine that, picture you being in bliss, just feeling the love between you and your special woman. Man, I love women, they are such a gift to this Earth. They are so beautiful, kind, caring, and express that female nurturing aspect in the best way describable. I love men as well, beyond the tough guy persona most will display, there is a soft, caring person hidden. I love black people, I love gay people, I love trans people, I love all people. We are all unique in our very own way, and each have something to bring to the table & contribute to society. Everything is going to work out, you got this. Goodbye now, this has been an emotional rollercoaster for me typing this, I am not bipolar I am just feeling every single emotion, this is like the come down from the acid trip. Have a nice life, hope it treats you well, and um oh yeah one more thing don't kill yourself by the way that's never the right answer. Of course all of you are not bad (although many of you are slowly becoming) it is always the handful bunch of rotten bitter users and as a closing statement to them, i will not see any further messages, appreciate all the hateful messages on this thread, thanks for the fucking hospitality. 
People like us never get the happy endings we deserve, none of us are truly bad people except for the few percent, we just want to be loved, and cared for, it's all any of us ever wanted, that's why we did what we did. It's all over, said and done with. We lost everything, our lives never the same, paid the price for the ignorance of the world, like jesus christ we are carrying the sins of the masses, except we are viewed as Lucifer the Light-bearer. It is okay though, people will wake up, and find the truth, you all will, I am manifesting it for this community. My life may be ruined & destroyed, but all of you still have a fighting chance. If any of you were in my shoes, you all would have been dead by now. Had circumstances been different, I wonder, how I would've looked naturally if I just aged, and wasn't malnourished during my adolescent years, if I never became this person, I cannot bring mysellf to say this forsaken name, I don't even associate myself with this person image or any representation in any way, maybe things would've turned alright. Can't look back now, came too far, none of it exists now. My past may be apart of my story, but I assure you it isn't a single part of my reality anymore. Goodbye looksmax, chapter closed.
@Bozoogway @worldmog @SecularIslamist @kebab @5'7 zoomer @Eli @forevermirin @Iasacrko @Lynxress @Nick.Harte @Luffymaxxing @NFA PB
People like us never get the happy endings we deserve, none of us are truly bad people except for the few percent, we just want to be loved, and cared for, it's all any of us ever wanted, that's why we did what we did. It's all over, said and done with. We lost everything, our lives never the same, paid the price for the ignorance of the world, like jesus christ we are carrying the sins of the masses, except we are viewed as Lucifer the Light-bearer. It is okay though, people will wake up, and find the truth, you all will, I am manifesting it for this community. My life may be ruined & destroyed, but all of you still have a fighting chance. If any of you were in my shoes, you all would have been dead by now. Had circumstances been different, I wonder, how I would've looked naturally if I just aged, and wasn't malnourished during my adolescent years, if I never became this person, I cannot bring mysellf to say this forsaken name, I don't even associate myself with this person image or any representation in any way, maybe things would've turned alright. Can't look back now, came too far, none of it exists now. My past may be apart of my story, but I assure you it isn't a single part of my reality anymore. Goodbye looksmax, chapter closed.
@Bozoogway @worldmog @SecularIslamist @kebab @5'7 zoomer @Eli @forevermirin @Iasacrko @Lynxress @Nick.Harte @Luffymaxxing @NFA PB
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