Descent into madness: Day 1

[i hear voices]

Idc if no one asks for this but im gonna start coping with my existence by writing here.

I had slept till around 2:30 and woke up at 9pm to get ready for a day of rotting but it always starts with sitting up from bed and then my brain starts to function and im reminded of the shit i have to melt my brain too today. I didn’t eat breakfast and decided to go to a little green opening out my apartment complex so I could get a breath of fresh air and then it hit me. I started getting suicidal thoughts and I looked up to the sky like an anime character and closed my eyes while pretending that I was chad for a second, living the fuck boy life in miami talking to models and fucking stacys 3x a day while partying and making money from my ‘self help’ youtube program for lonely incels. And genuinely for a few seconds I felt cool, I felt like I could go to some random girl and she would be fully naked before I even get 5 feet in front of her. I felt tall, I felt that I would have to look down at everyone while humble bragging about my back pain from my 6’6 stature. Then the smile slide of my face like a apple falling from its tree on the hill. I felt a melancholy only comparable to a bird who lost her chick from the eagle that swept it up. I went back home and decided to play tarkov so I could get above level 25 before the wipe ends. I now lay in my bed weeping to small reflection I get off my phone screen once again reminding me of my face.

I was meant to be beautiful, everyone would have loved me if I wasn’t born like this.

 

[badluck]

loss and gain is the same

 

[i hear voices]

loss and gain is the same

wdyk

 

[Ricky212]

Use paragraphs

 

[chosen-one]

Use paragraphs

It’s for his second personality to read it’s fine

 

[i hear voices]

Use paragraphs

coming day 2!!!!

 

[Aspiemogger]

Idc if no one asks for this but im gonna start coping with my existence by writing here.

I had slept till around 2:30 and woke up at 9pm to get ready for a day of rotting but it always starts with sitting up from bed and then my brain starts to function and im reminded of the shit i have to melt my brain too today. I didn’t eat breakfast and decided to go to a little green opening out my apartment complex so I could get a breath of fresh air and then it hit me. I started getting suicidal thoughts and I looked up to the sky like an anime character and closed my eyes while pretending that I was chad for a second, living the fuck boy life in miami talking to models and fucking stacys 3x a day while partying and making money from my ‘self help’ youtube program for lonely incels. And genuinely for a few seconds I felt cool, I felt like I could go to some random girl and she would be fully naked before I even get 5 feet in front of her. I felt tall, I felt that I would have to look down at everyone while humble bragging about my back pain from my 6’6 stature. Then the smile slide of my face like a apple falling from its tree on the hill. I felt a melancholy only comparable to a bird who lost her chick from the eagle that swept it up. I went back home and decided to play tarkov so I could get above level 25 before the wipe ends. I now lay in my bed weeping to small reflection I get off my phone screen once again reminding me of my face.

I was meant to be beautiful, everyone would have loved me if I wasn’t born like this.

Read + bookmarked, such a illustrative piece I can heavily relate to.