Descent into madness: day 2

[i hear voices]

I always struggled with love in my life and I was never able to form a connection that meant anything outside of my close family. When school ended today I remember listening to my Midwest playlist on shuffle till I came across a song that I've never heard of. It was titled "loser monologue" by sign crush motorist.

The feeling I got over the lyrics were indescribable, it reminded me of a girl I had loved so much. I suggest you listen to it if you want to understand but I had to hold my tears while I crossed the road, like a tumbleweed searching the dessert, only guided by the wind and the thought of survival. I want to sleep in a girls arms while I hug her waist and feel the warmth of her body and her heartbeat against my face while we stick together like a long piece of vine growing off the church windows you see when you go on Sundays.

I decided not to watch porn today, I don't even enjoy it. I usually search for videos under the search of "passionate sex" so I could see how two people who are in love with each other would do it. I started watching porn in the first place because it gave me an artificial sense of love, I understood that sex was the closest someone can get with another human being. and I thought by watching porn I could replicate it. I want someone to love me so badly, my heart reaches out with open arms but its not reciprocated instead its punched, stabbed, ripped apart by another girl who thought it would be funny to her friends if she joked about loving me.

I crave it so much. I have one of those stuffed animals that you could microwave and it would heat up and you could use it as a hugging toy and thats what I sleep with every night. Sometimes I go on my alt on snapchat and send "I love you" paragraphs to myself. I dont know what to do anymore. No girl here likes me and our personalities done match either

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

dnrd

 

[Ricky212]

Tales, but if it’s real brutal

 

[Eternal_]

After OP posted this thread, every uterus worldwide collectively shriveled & dried up as if they were exposed to the harshness of the Sahara desert

 

[i hear voices]

After OP posted this thread, every uterus worldwide collectively shriveled & dried up as if they were exposed to the harshness of the Sahara desert

wont talk back because that was a good line but next time im making a cum trib to your profile

 

[i hear voices]

Tales, but if it’s real brutal

made it a bit melo-dramatic but its all real

 

[Enfant terrible]

none of your voices asked

 

[Alton]

Man, I totally agree with you about pornography, I do not even enjoy it that much, it is just the need for emotional attachment toward these girls, but it is difficult for me to comprehend at times,

I always struggled with love in my life and I was never able to form a connection that meant anything outside of my close family. When school ended today I remember listening to my Midwest playlist on shuffle till I came across a song that I've never heard of. It was titled "loser monologue" by sign crush motorist.

The feeling I got over the lyrics were indescribable, it reminded me of a girl I had loved so much. I suggest you listen to it if you want to understand but I had to hold my tears while I crossed the road, like a tumbleweed searching the dessert, only guided by the wind and the thought of survival. I want to sleep in a girls arms while I hug her waist and feel the warmth of her body and her heartbeat against my face while we stick together like a long piece of vine growing off the church windows you see when you go on Sundays.

I decided not to watch porn today, I don't even enjoy it. I usually search for videos under the search of "passionate sex" so I could see how two people who are in love with each other would do it. I started watching porn in the first place because it gave me an artificial sense of love, I understood that sex was the closest someone can get with another human being. and I thought by watching porn I could replicate it. I want someone to love me so badly, my heart reaches out with open arms but its not reciprocated instead its punched, stabbed, ripped apart by another girl who thought it would be funny to her friends if she joked about loving me.

I crave it so much. I have one of those stuffed animals that you could microwave and it would heat up and you could use it as a hugging toy and thats what I sleep with every night. Sometimes I go on my alt on snapchat and send "I love you" paragraphs to myself. I dont know what to do anymore. No girl here likes me and our personalities done match either

 

[RAITEIII]

Your own feelings will be the bullets to put you in your grave.


Control it. I really mean it.