NewGenDoomer
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2023
- Posts
- 164
- Reputation
- 183
Hello again guys.
Just wanted to say that, shit hit the fan real badly for me.
I am mentally ill asf, and also an abused dog. Literally abused by my family and everyone else.
So basically, my dad almost cried and kinda disowned me, for literally just existing. I am studying at University btw, and i am, well i should say, was Academically successful up till recently.
I was ''diagnosed'' with Bipolar II, but i don't really know if that even is the real diagnosis. But i just know that i am mentally ill asf, and in constant emotional pain.
Well, i was on some retarded meds, SSRIs or how their called, and was at the very least functioning. Had a friend group, socialized a bit, very productive, was actually gonna get a job too.
I quit 3 weeks ago, not because i wanted, by my family forced me to not take the meds anymore, then the psychiatrist also put me off meds. I don't have a prescription anymore. I tried to buy some buy i can't cuz i need a bullshit ass prescription.
Either way what i'm getting is, even since i quit i guess i got withdraws or some bullshit. And god damn i didn't sleep for 3 days straight a first. Every night i stay up till 6 AM in the morning. Cuz i can't even sleep.
I was feeling soooo shit and bad, i just couldn't take it anymore. So i went and- at first i bought a vape. Then 3 weeks later i am smoking a pack of cigs a day.
I was the gym rat type of gym before, and i used to eat super healthy too. I never liked smoking and never thought i would pick it up. Never would have guessed i would end up like this.
In 3 weeks that i quit the meds, my friends dropped me, and my family sort of disowned me. It's ovER. It's not even about looks anymore tbh it's just fucking mental illness and being retarded.
I was thinking about going ER or some bullshit before, at this point i am not even like motivated to do that. I am completely numb and tired asf now.
Then i fucked up my Academics too in just 3 fucking weeks, i bearly even went to classes anymore, sort of quit going altogether.
For some reason, and god knows why, girls then seemed to be attracted to me. Fucking hell, my female classmate asked me out, and i known this bitch for 2 years. We bearly spoke with each other at all really.
I started dating a girl online, didn't even wanna date anyone but apparently bitches like mentally ill people or something. Like they have a fetish for it, fucking hell. This ain't normal bro, i don't even wanna fuck a bitch anymore.
Why of all times, when i am literally going insane bitches wanna like me now. This is such fucking bullshit i hate it. And i don't even want a relationship cuz i am losing my mind.
I am just completely mentally unstable i am about to like end my life. Not that i am suicidal btw, for some reason i am not suicidal but more like, my life is bout to end, my career and everything.
I got no one left in my life, i am literally all alone and bout to go insane. And everyone notices it.
It's OVER for me, idk what else to say. I think i'm just gonna go to a psych ward and seek help. Hopefully it gets better otherwise i will end up in a ditch somewhere.
Idk if smoking or being mentally deranged is attractive but FUCK THEM HOES because i am literally going insane and i don't want to fuck a bitch at all right now. I am basically sort of losing touch with reality.
Anyways i live in Kosovo so y'all know that is a death sentence, nobody gives a fuck here.
If anyone has any advice or anything y'all can comment, also shoot me a DM if you want. That's all i have.
Tl;Dr
I am going mentally insane, because im off my meds. And i am about to lose my College year, and prolly end up in a ditch soon. Hopefully i can actually go to a psych ward or something. Either way it's OVER!
Just wanted to say that, shit hit the fan real badly for me.
I am mentally ill asf, and also an abused dog. Literally abused by my family and everyone else.
So basically, my dad almost cried and kinda disowned me, for literally just existing. I am studying at University btw, and i am, well i should say, was Academically successful up till recently.
I was ''diagnosed'' with Bipolar II, but i don't really know if that even is the real diagnosis. But i just know that i am mentally ill asf, and in constant emotional pain.
Well, i was on some retarded meds, SSRIs or how their called, and was at the very least functioning. Had a friend group, socialized a bit, very productive, was actually gonna get a job too.
I quit 3 weeks ago, not because i wanted, by my family forced me to not take the meds anymore, then the psychiatrist also put me off meds. I don't have a prescription anymore. I tried to buy some buy i can't cuz i need a bullshit ass prescription.
Either way what i'm getting is, even since i quit i guess i got withdraws or some bullshit. And god damn i didn't sleep for 3 days straight a first. Every night i stay up till 6 AM in the morning. Cuz i can't even sleep.
I was feeling soooo shit and bad, i just couldn't take it anymore. So i went and- at first i bought a vape. Then 3 weeks later i am smoking a pack of cigs a day.
I was the gym rat type of gym before, and i used to eat super healthy too. I never liked smoking and never thought i would pick it up. Never would have guessed i would end up like this.
In 3 weeks that i quit the meds, my friends dropped me, and my family sort of disowned me. It's ovER. It's not even about looks anymore tbh it's just fucking mental illness and being retarded.
I was thinking about going ER or some bullshit before, at this point i am not even like motivated to do that. I am completely numb and tired asf now.
Then i fucked up my Academics too in just 3 fucking weeks, i bearly even went to classes anymore, sort of quit going altogether.
For some reason, and god knows why, girls then seemed to be attracted to me. Fucking hell, my female classmate asked me out, and i known this bitch for 2 years. We bearly spoke with each other at all really.
I started dating a girl online, didn't even wanna date anyone but apparently bitches like mentally ill people or something. Like they have a fetish for it, fucking hell. This ain't normal bro, i don't even wanna fuck a bitch anymore.
Why of all times, when i am literally going insane bitches wanna like me now. This is such fucking bullshit i hate it. And i don't even want a relationship cuz i am losing my mind.
I am just completely mentally unstable i am about to like end my life. Not that i am suicidal btw, for some reason i am not suicidal but more like, my life is bout to end, my career and everything.
I got no one left in my life, i am literally all alone and bout to go insane. And everyone notices it.
It's OVER for me, idk what else to say. I think i'm just gonna go to a psych ward and seek help. Hopefully it gets better otherwise i will end up in a ditch somewhere.
Idk if smoking or being mentally deranged is attractive but FUCK THEM HOES because i am literally going insane and i don't want to fuck a bitch at all right now. I am basically sort of losing touch with reality.
Anyways i live in Kosovo so y'all know that is a death sentence, nobody gives a fuck here.
If anyone has any advice or anything y'all can comment, also shoot me a DM if you want. That's all i have.
Tl;Dr
I am going mentally insane, because im off my meds. And i am about to lose my College year, and prolly end up in a ditch soon. Hopefully i can actually go to a psych ward or something. Either way it's OVER!