FBl
Federal Bureau of Investigation
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2023
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Shaming women for having preferences in height and where it comes from
I've seen a lot of posts where guys are shaming women for preferring taller guys and calling these women sexist and shallow and saying stuff like "she should weigh less than 60kg".
Let me break down what you exactly feel and where it comes from and how that is wrong.
What you feel - You feel rejected. You feel like your personality wasn't even given a chance and you were rejected even before you could say anything. You feel a little insecure. You feel angry. And you feel a certain level of hate.
Where it comes from - When you say it's sexist or shallow for a woman to not find you attractive if you're not 6 ft, you imply that it is your fundamental right to be found attractive regardless of your height or weight or any other physical feature. Preferences are subjective. That's why they are called preferences. Some people like chocolate ice creams, some like strawberry ice creams, some don't even like ice creams. If someone is saying they find a certain thing unattractive, you can't shame someone into finding something attractive. Now if you say you don't have any preferences so others shouldn't have them either is a very entitled thing to feel. You're essentially trying to have a say in how a woman should feel.
Why you feel that way - Facing rejection is something a lot of men in Indian households are not taught at an early age. Some of it is because men in general are a bit entitled because of the ingrained patriarchy. I'm speaking in a general sense, of course. Some of it is because we're taught that crying is not okay but anger and revenge is completely justified. What does it do? We feel a negative emotion and we never learnt how to channel is towards sadness and jump straight to anger and frustration and hate. "Oh, you don't want me because of my height? Bitch I don't want you, you're ugly, you're fat, you're a slut, blah blah blah". It's difficult for you to accept that they don't find you appealing.
I have also seen guys commenting on such posts "yeah I also don't want a fat chick". Totally fine if you genuinely don't find them attractive. But it's harmful if it comes from a place of hate. It does not have to be in response to a woman stating her preference.
What can you do? Accept that you can't control how other people feel about you. If you find a person who does not align with your values, just fucking swipe left and move on. Holding on to that feeling of rejection and hating on that person by ganging up with other people like you on this sub will give you a temporary sense that you are above those women who rejected you but at the end of the day, you're not helping yourself, you're just making it worse for yourself in the long run.
Fix yourself or stay angry, it's up to you. I obviously can't (and shouldn't want to) control how you feel. But it won't change the truth.
I wrote this post not to shame or insult anyone. This came from a place of empathy for my fellow men on this sub. I hope I was able to make you stop and retrospect. "
I hate women I hate women I hate women will I ever find love? Fml fml fml fml I'm going to kms kms sooon
Shaming women for having preferences in height and where it comes from
I've seen a lot of posts where guys are shaming women for preferring taller guys and calling these women sexist and shallow and saying stuff like "she should weigh less than 60kg".
Let me break down what you exactly feel and where it comes from and how that is wrong.
What you feel - You feel rejected. You feel like your personality wasn't even given a chance and you were rejected even before you could say anything. You feel a little insecure. You feel angry. And you feel a certain level of hate.
Where it comes from - When you say it's sexist or shallow for a woman to not find you attractive if you're not 6 ft, you imply that it is your fundamental right to be found attractive regardless of your height or weight or any other physical feature. Preferences are subjective. That's why they are called preferences. Some people like chocolate ice creams, some like strawberry ice creams, some don't even like ice creams. If someone is saying they find a certain thing unattractive, you can't shame someone into finding something attractive. Now if you say you don't have any preferences so others shouldn't have them either is a very entitled thing to feel. You're essentially trying to have a say in how a woman should feel.
Why you feel that way - Facing rejection is something a lot of men in Indian households are not taught at an early age. Some of it is because men in general are a bit entitled because of the ingrained patriarchy. I'm speaking in a general sense, of course. Some of it is because we're taught that crying is not okay but anger and revenge is completely justified. What does it do? We feel a negative emotion and we never learnt how to channel is towards sadness and jump straight to anger and frustration and hate. "Oh, you don't want me because of my height? Bitch I don't want you, you're ugly, you're fat, you're a slut, blah blah blah". It's difficult for you to accept that they don't find you appealing.
I have also seen guys commenting on such posts "yeah I also don't want a fat chick". Totally fine if you genuinely don't find them attractive. But it's harmful if it comes from a place of hate. It does not have to be in response to a woman stating her preference.
What can you do? Accept that you can't control how other people feel about you. If you find a person who does not align with your values, just fucking swipe left and move on. Holding on to that feeling of rejection and hating on that person by ganging up with other people like you on this sub will give you a temporary sense that you are above those women who rejected you but at the end of the day, you're not helping yourself, you're just making it worse for yourself in the long run.
Fix yourself or stay angry, it's up to you. I obviously can't (and shouldn't want to) control how you feel. But it won't change the truth.
I wrote this post not to shame or insult anyone. This came from a place of empathy for my fellow men on this sub. I hope I was able to make you stop and retrospect. "
I hate women I hate women I hate women will I ever find love? Fml fml fml fml I'm going to kms kms sooon
