ConspiracyTheory
Zephir
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- Oct 14, 2020
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I love gym girls, but I never where to meet them outside of the gym. Other than the gym, it's not like gym girls just all hang out together day to day. Trying to pick up girls at the gym is widely considered a no go zone.
What do y'all think of this guys take on how to meet gym girls at the gym?
Warning: long read
Take it from me, someone who’s had a ton of success at the gym:
Gyms are one of the absolute worst places to approach and meet random new women.
That’s because people usually go to the gym out of necessity, and not to have fun or meet new people.
That said, it’s still pretty doable and not that difficult, once you realize a couple of things and learn the social dynamics of the place.
First of all, women are acutely aware of most guys staring at them when they’re working out. They don’t feel comfortable with that, especially when doing certain exercises which put them into awkward poses that expose their flaws and make them feel slightly embarrassed.
So first rule of being at the gym and talking to girls there is - never stare, gawk or otherwise sneak obvious peeks at their various body parts when they’re exercising.
If you do - you’ll be instantly lumped in with all the rest of the creepy, desperate, sex-starved guys who hit the gym to look at the bodies of women.
You can set your self apart from every other guy in an instant if you make it a rule to never look at women when they’re doing some sort of exercise.
Let them do their thing and worry about yours. That’s what you’re there for in the gym, in the first place, isn’t it?!
Second - never approach women who have their headphones on. It’s a clear sign that they don’t want to talk to you, or anyone else for that matter - and that they’re there just for getting in shape, and not to socialize.
There are a few ways to get their attention if they’re wearing headphones, and talk to them - I’ll discuss this below.
Third - It’s not a club, it’s not the street, it’s not your local watering hole, shopping mall, etc. - so the rules of engagement and social dynamics are completely different. If you just go and approach every girl in the gym - people will notice that you’re there to hit on girls and not train - and you’ll be instantly labeled as “That Guy”.
And “That Guy” usually never gets laid. So don’t be that guy.
Now that we’ve got the absolute basics covered - you need to know that gyms usually require a slow approach, because of the aforementioned dynamics.
So don’t expect to see beautiful women and instantly approach them, as you’d usually do almost everywhere else that’s public and has lots of strangers.
Think of the gym as a community of sorts - like your workplace, your social circle, your hobby place, church gathering, etc.
You wouldn’t go hit on every woman co-worker at the place that you work - would you? That’s a sure way to get either HR on your ass, fired, or simply ostracized as “that weirdo who always hits on every woman”.
That’s because in places like this, everyone sees what everyone else is doing - and if you game isn’t on point - one big blowout is going to screw up your chances with everyone else since most people will know about it.
As a contrast, in bars, clubs, and other loud environments it is not the same.
So here’s the key, and here’s what I personally did to meet and hook up with women from the various gyms that I’ve been to:
Become known as the guy who knows and talks with everyone in the gym, without any ulterior motive.
This entails socializing with EVERYONE - other guys at the gym, trainers, instructors, receptionists, and other girls - without any sort of discrimination.
This takes a bit of time and some effort - so you can’t really pull this off if you’re absolutely new at your gym. Usually, it takes me 2–3 months to establish myself at a new gym, to get to know all the staff, talk to them, build rapport, exchange value, and get respect.
They will see that you’re a regular, that you’re there to work out, but that you’re also a fun guy to be around with - talkative, interesting - without any ulterior motive except just to socialize.
They will start greeting you, shaking your hand, and everything else when you go to the gym - and people will definitely notice that.
You focus entirely on your training - because that’s what you’re there to do in the first place - but once you spot a good opportunity - you talk to everyone else.
For example, instead of staring at the wall or into nothingness between your sets - look around you and notice other guys and girls who are doing the same - and just ask simple stuff like “So how’s your workout going?”
The content doesn’t matter - the point is to start a normal conversation - so just talk to them as if you’d talk to your BUDDY.
Men and women - zero preference, because you’re there to establish that you’re a social guy.
When you’re getting on a treadmill - challenge the person next to you to a race!
When you’re waiting for the water fountain to refill your bottle - talk to the people in line about whatever.
When you notice any other opportunity where you’re around your fellow gym-mates and there’s silence - talk to them.
But not if you or anyone else is busy with some exercise.
And guess what, after a while of that - everyone will know you.
And everyone will know that if you’re talking to them - you’re not out to get something for yourself, you don’t have any sort of motive other than being a social person.
And then, you’ll see how everything starts to make sense.
Once the girls in that gym will realize that you’re not there to hit on them, and that you NEVER stare at them - many will become interested in you simply because you’re not doing what everyone else is.
And they’ll walk up to you and talk to you THEMSELVES on occasion.
So notice the girls that do this more often than others - and sometimes in the course of some random conversation - mention that you’d love to talk to them more and get to know them, because they’re different than most, because they also don’t focus on superficial bullshit - and you like that in a person.
(or find some other reason, I usually use this one since it’s congruent with me)
And guess what - she’ll give you her number and will be DELIGHTED to go grab a coffee with you.
Also, you’re bound to meet some of these regular girls on your way out or into the gym - and they will now GREET you since they know you and you know them. That’s also a great opportunity to say “Hey, hold on for a sec - let’s walk together” and talk. Then flirt a bit, tease a bit, have fun, do your regular shtick and get their numbers.
And if there’s some new girl at the gym - she’ll quickly notice that you’re friends with everyone. When she talks to some instructor - you can easily go up to them, greet the instructor and have a nice three-way conversation with them, just for fun.
She’ll see that you’re awesome - and you’ll have every opportunity to talk to her later, flirt a bit, do your thing, and eventually get her number.
Also, a great place to talk to these girls is the stretching/abs exercise area, on the mats.
And that’s how I get laid pretty much at every gym I’m at for a longer period of time.
This does not work if you’re only going to be there for a month or two - it takes some time to establish yourself as a person of value at that setting.
And this works for ANY community setting that you can think of.
I get laid in a similar fashion with most of the girls that I’ve worked with at some job, with girls from my extended social circle, my dance class, etc.
But this is just one way to do things. There are other less and more effective ways - but this one’s reliable and fun - and it helps you work on your social skills in the process.
Remember - have ZERO ulterior motives when talking to the guys and girls in the gym - and then when people start to see you as that awesome guy - notice the people who go out of their way to talk to you and they’re yours. Or grab the opportunity to talk to them in the lounge area near the receptionist, or when you eventually meet them going in and out.
Now, regarding the girls with headphones thing.
It’s not that complicated. If she’s listening to music and is completely ignoring everything around her - don’t even try. You MAY succeed, but 9 times out of 10 - you won’t.
But, if you notice her looking at you on occasion - if you notice her interest - then just walk up to her, gesture something so that she takes them off - and continue as normal.
The point is to notice her interest FIRST.
Another way is when your eyes meet for a longer time. If you’re both doing some exercise, and your eyes meet - make a funny facial expression, wave your hand, do whatever to get a reaction from her. If it’s a negative reaction - give up.
If it’s a positive one, like a smile, a chuckle, long eye contact, etc - then you can gesture taking off your pretend-headphones and pointing to her. She’ll take of hers. Proceed as normal.
It’s not rocket science.
Just social dynamics
However, this is all easier said than done, and a lot of people have trouble being social with everyone at the gym.
So start slow, get some practice and eventually you will get better at it.
