E
ElySioNs
quit, contact through discord or insta instead
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
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I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 and a half years.
Recently I was sent over Snapchat a few videos from someone we determined to be her ex. He sent the message “How does used p*ssy feel, f@g? Fiona will never forget about me.” There was one of them having vaginal sex from behind and one of her sucking his dick, and a few others that I didn’t watch but the thumbnails showed pretty graphic sex acts, a lot of things that I wish I had never had to see. I don’t know why I watched any of the videos it was like a train wreck. I know they were from the past, my fiancée got a tattoo on her ass about a year into our relationship and she has different colored hair. I stopped myself after the first 2 told my fiancée.
I was able to convince her to report him for revenge porn which is illegal in our state and we’re trying to get through this. I want to be able to support her fully through this but I’m incredibly insecure now. I haven’t let on just how insecure I am about this.
Those videos and thumbnails have been stuck in my head. First my fiancée said she would never do that. I’m in the military, and get sent overseas a lot and I’ve asked her if she’d like to make videos of us together so I have something to get off to that’s not just porn. She said she doesn’t like to make videos or send pictures. But obviously she did with him. The dude was also significantly large
There were also sex acts that she said she doesn’t like doing that she did enthusiastically with him. Like she doesn’t like having her hair pulled or being spanked or held down and she had all of those things done to her, and she seemed to enjoy it. She also said she doesn’t really enjoy giving oral sex that much, but again she did so with him enthusiastically. Some of the thumbnails of videos I didn’t watch had her in handcuffs or tied up or other things like that, which are all things she said she’d never do. The video of her giving him head was filmed in a car in public, something that I’ve expressed to her as a fetish of mine and she said she won’t do.
By fair the biggest thing that made me feel insecure was the sounds and reactions she made in the video. She sounded like a fucking pornstar. She never makes sounds like that with me. She never screams out my name or grabs on the bed for dear life. She never has finished so intensely that her legs shake. I don’t know what I’m doing that’s so wrong that I’m not making her react that way. The only thing that I could think of was that his penis was significantly larger than mine, and now I was already insecure and depressed about my size and this is making it so much worse.
I haven’t told my fiancée about about any of this because I know telling her will just make her feel worse about this when she needs to be strong to make sure she can help get her ex punished. I don’t know what to do with these feelings but they’re eating me up inside. I’m literally crying as I right this because this all hurts my heart so much.
What should I do.
**EDIT**
I want to first say that to those of you insulting my fiancée please fuck off. She is an amazing woman, and is not deserving of whatever shit you sling at her.
Second I want to say that I am currently doing all I can to support her through this. Like I said, I haven’t told her my feelings and I haven’t told her that I watched 2 of the videos. Right now I don’t want to burden her with my thoughts, on this. I’m posting here because I need help coming to terms with this.
I’m not bothered by the fact that she slept with another guy. I’m bothered that through the last almost 4 years we’ve been together, that she has told me that she will not do certain things that she had done with him, and that I saw how she reacted with him. That’s what’s painful. That this woman I loved and I thought trusted me completely was willing to do things that made her uncomfortable with him, but will not do those things with me. It makes me feel like she trusts me less, and like she desires me less than she desired him.
Recently I was sent over Snapchat a few videos from someone we determined to be her ex. He sent the message “How does used p*ssy feel, f@g? Fiona will never forget about me.” There was one of them having vaginal sex from behind and one of her sucking his dick, and a few others that I didn’t watch but the thumbnails showed pretty graphic sex acts, a lot of things that I wish I had never had to see. I don’t know why I watched any of the videos it was like a train wreck. I know they were from the past, my fiancée got a tattoo on her ass about a year into our relationship and she has different colored hair. I stopped myself after the first 2 told my fiancée.
I was able to convince her to report him for revenge porn which is illegal in our state and we’re trying to get through this. I want to be able to support her fully through this but I’m incredibly insecure now. I haven’t let on just how insecure I am about this.
Those videos and thumbnails have been stuck in my head. First my fiancée said she would never do that. I’m in the military, and get sent overseas a lot and I’ve asked her if she’d like to make videos of us together so I have something to get off to that’s not just porn. She said she doesn’t like to make videos or send pictures. But obviously she did with him. The dude was also significantly large
There were also sex acts that she said she doesn’t like doing that she did enthusiastically with him. Like she doesn’t like having her hair pulled or being spanked or held down and she had all of those things done to her, and she seemed to enjoy it. She also said she doesn’t really enjoy giving oral sex that much, but again she did so with him enthusiastically. Some of the thumbnails of videos I didn’t watch had her in handcuffs or tied up or other things like that, which are all things she said she’d never do. The video of her giving him head was filmed in a car in public, something that I’ve expressed to her as a fetish of mine and she said she won’t do.
By fair the biggest thing that made me feel insecure was the sounds and reactions she made in the video. She sounded like a fucking pornstar. She never makes sounds like that with me. She never screams out my name or grabs on the bed for dear life. She never has finished so intensely that her legs shake. I don’t know what I’m doing that’s so wrong that I’m not making her react that way. The only thing that I could think of was that his penis was significantly larger than mine, and now I was already insecure and depressed about my size and this is making it so much worse.
I haven’t told my fiancée about about any of this because I know telling her will just make her feel worse about this when she needs to be strong to make sure she can help get her ex punished. I don’t know what to do with these feelings but they’re eating me up inside. I’m literally crying as I right this because this all hurts my heart so much.
What should I do.
**EDIT**
I want to first say that to those of you insulting my fiancée please fuck off. She is an amazing woman, and is not deserving of whatever shit you sling at her.
Second I want to say that I am currently doing all I can to support her through this. Like I said, I haven’t told her my feelings and I haven’t told her that I watched 2 of the videos. Right now I don’t want to burden her with my thoughts, on this. I’m posting here because I need help coming to terms with this.
I’m not bothered by the fact that she slept with another guy. I’m bothered that through the last almost 4 years we’ve been together, that she has told me that she will not do certain things that she had done with him, and that I saw how she reacted with him. That’s what’s painful. That this woman I loved and I thought trusted me completely was willing to do things that made her uncomfortable with him, but will not do those things with me. It makes me feel like she trusts me less, and like she desires me less than she desired him.
