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Deleted member 28927
Zephir
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If only one person reading this is able to draw some motivation to improve their life, the purpose of this post has been fulfilled. My family comes from a rural background, even though we now live in the city, and this led to my childhood diet being extremely high in calories. Despite consuming only healthy foods, due to the quantity I was offered and encouraged to eat by my grandparents and parents, and being sedentary, I ended up as an overweight child. My experience from ages 10 to 15 was not extremely worse only because I grew up in a small-town bubble. However, I can vividly recall specific moments when I was treated negatively simply for existing, for being a child above the weight norm.
I particularly remember something that happened when I was around 14. We were in a moment when all the school classes were in the courtyard for some reason. One of my classmates asked me which girl from a certain group nearby I found attractive. I was extremely shy, and still am to be honest, like my whole family, so I kept avoiding answering until I decided (for some unknown reason) to say it was X girl whom I found beautiful. In a complete act of foolishness, he went to her and told her that I found her beautiful. Her reaction was simply negative, almost as if she felt disgusted by what she had just heard. My friend felt very bad, I think even more than I did at that moment, out of empathy for me. But I felt nothing for that girl; I only said it was her so that he would stop bothering me, unaware that this would happen. So despite the brief internal anxiety crisis, I kept okay. I only processed what had happened years later.
It was when I ended my first relationship, one of those silly ones that happen in school, that I started thinking about how attractive girls reacted to me, and I remembered this incident. At first, I fell into the nonsense of personality that the red pill teaches, of alpha attitude and all that information that at best only makes you deluded. Eventually, I realized that it was my appearance that needed to change. And that's what I did. I changed my diet, went to a dermatologist to fix my skin, removed a pathetic beard I had, and grew my hair. I started to copy what I saw working both on the internet and in real life, in terms of style and appearance. Today, at 21, the way I am treated is brutally different. I am still that shy, introspective kid, but now it is seen positively by people around me, almost as if I were more special for it. I know this because I have heard positive comments about my personality from third parties, something that never happened when I had acne on my face, weird hair, and 30kg of fat on my body.
Now, talking about this girl who rejected me, it is precisely because of what happened yesterday involving the two of us that I am writing this. This girl ended up at the same college as me, and yesterday I was in line to buy my energy drink (white monster drinks white monster) with some childhood friends when she came over to say hi. The way she treated me was probably the biggest confirmation of the black pill I have ever had in my entire life. She wanted to know about what I did in "all these years after school" (apparently, she doesn't even remember what happened), couldn't stop smiling for a second, and laughed at any nonsense I said. After we said goodbye, I went back to class with my buddies, and when I got home, I saw that she had asked to follow me on Instagram. I simply felt like crying when I saw the notification. I don't know how to react to the way this pathetic world works. Everything is extremely superficial; she felt disgusted by me six years ago or so, and her brain doesn't even process my ugly version and today's as the same person. The idea that we ARE our face was frightening to me. Anyway, do what you can to change what you can, move towards being handsome at any cost, because in the end, that's all that matters.
I particularly remember something that happened when I was around 14. We were in a moment when all the school classes were in the courtyard for some reason. One of my classmates asked me which girl from a certain group nearby I found attractive. I was extremely shy, and still am to be honest, like my whole family, so I kept avoiding answering until I decided (for some unknown reason) to say it was X girl whom I found beautiful. In a complete act of foolishness, he went to her and told her that I found her beautiful. Her reaction was simply negative, almost as if she felt disgusted by what she had just heard. My friend felt very bad, I think even more than I did at that moment, out of empathy for me. But I felt nothing for that girl; I only said it was her so that he would stop bothering me, unaware that this would happen. So despite the brief internal anxiety crisis, I kept okay. I only processed what had happened years later.
It was when I ended my first relationship, one of those silly ones that happen in school, that I started thinking about how attractive girls reacted to me, and I remembered this incident. At first, I fell into the nonsense of personality that the red pill teaches, of alpha attitude and all that information that at best only makes you deluded. Eventually, I realized that it was my appearance that needed to change. And that's what I did. I changed my diet, went to a dermatologist to fix my skin, removed a pathetic beard I had, and grew my hair. I started to copy what I saw working both on the internet and in real life, in terms of style and appearance. Today, at 21, the way I am treated is brutally different. I am still that shy, introspective kid, but now it is seen positively by people around me, almost as if I were more special for it. I know this because I have heard positive comments about my personality from third parties, something that never happened when I had acne on my face, weird hair, and 30kg of fat on my body.
Now, talking about this girl who rejected me, it is precisely because of what happened yesterday involving the two of us that I am writing this. This girl ended up at the same college as me, and yesterday I was in line to buy my energy drink (white monster drinks white monster) with some childhood friends when she came over to say hi. The way she treated me was probably the biggest confirmation of the black pill I have ever had in my entire life. She wanted to know about what I did in "all these years after school" (apparently, she doesn't even remember what happened), couldn't stop smiling for a second, and laughed at any nonsense I said. After we said goodbye, I went back to class with my buddies, and when I got home, I saw that she had asked to follow me on Instagram. I simply felt like crying when I saw the notification. I don't know how to react to the way this pathetic world works. Everything is extremely superficial; she felt disgusted by me six years ago or so, and her brain doesn't even process my ugly version and today's as the same person. The idea that we ARE our face was frightening to me. Anyway, do what you can to change what you can, move towards being handsome at any cost, because in the end, that's all that matters.
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