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idkagoodusername
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Back in high school, a pretty girl that I'd made eye contact with a few times during lunch sat next to me on the first day of a class, and my anxiety levels skyrocketed. I couldn't say a word to her if my life depended on it. And this is a girl I didn't even like smh. She never sat next to me again.
This kinda thing happened all throughout college too, and it really cost me. One day I finally thought to myself: "Wait a minute. I can't believe I'm this big of a bitch. People must think I'm autistic. Hell, I'd think I was autistic. I gotta fix this asap."
This is the strategy that I worked out and followed to improve my social skills:
1. Interact with people whose job is to help you. They have to be polite to you. I had to practice talking to strangers, and I started out small. I would go to libraries and ask the librarians questions about books and shit. They were old ladies, so there was no sexual tension to worry about. Even this was a little difficult since I was just really awkward. I had to focus on maintaining eye contact and making some small talk. Eventually I could do it without stuttering, mumbling, etc. You know, like a normal person finally.
2. Same as step 1, but with girls your age. Usually girls have jobs as cashiers, waitresses, and some jobs on campus. If I walked into a store and saw a pretty cashier, I'd buy something cheep so I could talk to her. It's easier than cold approaching cuz I had an excuse to talk to them. That removed some of the stress from the situation. I also asked her about that store's rewards program, return policy, etc. to extend the interaction. I'd return whatever I bought the next day. Also, I began eating out more so I could ask waitresses what food they'd recommend for example. Any way to talk to girls without cold approaching was welcome.
3. Ask simple questions, like directions to a classroom. This is the first type of cold approaching. Once again, start out with guys or older women. Just say "hey excuse me, do you know where x is." Then ask ugly girls, then finally, girls you're attracted to. Do this at school, the mall, wherever. I'd go up to people at the gym and ask how many sets they had left (I used to wait for them to finish using a machine). It took me awhile b4 finally being able to ask a hot girl how many sets she had left on a machine. But when I did it without being aspie, I felt so triumphant. p.s. if you gymmaxx, ask guys (and then girls) about proper form and what routines they'd rec. to have an actual convo with them.
4. Ask ugly girls out. I recommend driving to a mall a few towns away. That way you'll be sure you'll never see them again. Just practice walking up to people you have absolutely 0 attraction to and saying: "hey you're cute, wanna go out with me?" (make sure the girl is alone so you don't get overwhelmed). Just uttering those words for the first time might seem weird to you if you're whole self-image is betabitch. Practice saying that phrase so you have it memorized, bitch. You'll find that step 4 will be very difficult cuz of all the mental blocks. That's why only do this after you've mastered steps 1-3. You need to build up enough self-confidence from completing steps 1-3 so that a rough start in step 4 doesn't traumatize you. Ask 1 girl out, get rejected, then go home or grab a drink or get some ice cream. Whatever makes you feel better after your rejection. Come back the next weekend and try asking 2 girls. Do this every week until you can laugh about it. The point is to numb yourself to the experience and rejection. Also, mix steps 3 and 4 (have a brief conversation, then ask them out).
5. Ask out cute girls. If you have a fairly easy time asking out ugly girls, gradually increase the attractiveness of the ones you ask out. Maybe stop increasing their lookslevel until they match yours. This way you won't be ridiculed for being too ugly hopefully (but no promises). But if you build balls of steel, eventually ask out Stacy. Good luck with that.
6. Ask out a girl you like (and who likes you back). Here it is, the big one. The boss on the final level of a video game. If there's a girl who you think likes you, you gotta act while there's still attraction. I'm not a PUA, and don't think you can build attraction. She likes your face or she doesn't. How do you know if she does? If she makes eye contact with you more than twice. It's that simple. Don't waste time analyzing anything else. Go up to her and start a simple conversation about something you have in common, or something you noticed about her. Ask her out at the end of your convo if it seems like the natural end to your interaction with her. If you save it for some other day, you'll regret not doing it. Good luck bro you got this.
This guide could take months, if not years to complete. I personally have done steps 1-3. I've only asked out a handful of girls. Still working on it. But I gotta say, after 2 of the rejections, I felt great. Cuz I broke through, in a way.
This kinda thing happened all throughout college too, and it really cost me. One day I finally thought to myself: "Wait a minute. I can't believe I'm this big of a bitch. People must think I'm autistic. Hell, I'd think I was autistic. I gotta fix this asap."
This is the strategy that I worked out and followed to improve my social skills:
1. Interact with people whose job is to help you. They have to be polite to you. I had to practice talking to strangers, and I started out small. I would go to libraries and ask the librarians questions about books and shit. They were old ladies, so there was no sexual tension to worry about. Even this was a little difficult since I was just really awkward. I had to focus on maintaining eye contact and making some small talk. Eventually I could do it without stuttering, mumbling, etc. You know, like a normal person finally.
2. Same as step 1, but with girls your age. Usually girls have jobs as cashiers, waitresses, and some jobs on campus. If I walked into a store and saw a pretty cashier, I'd buy something cheep so I could talk to her. It's easier than cold approaching cuz I had an excuse to talk to them. That removed some of the stress from the situation. I also asked her about that store's rewards program, return policy, etc. to extend the interaction. I'd return whatever I bought the next day. Also, I began eating out more so I could ask waitresses what food they'd recommend for example. Any way to talk to girls without cold approaching was welcome.
3. Ask simple questions, like directions to a classroom. This is the first type of cold approaching. Once again, start out with guys or older women. Just say "hey excuse me, do you know where x is." Then ask ugly girls, then finally, girls you're attracted to. Do this at school, the mall, wherever. I'd go up to people at the gym and ask how many sets they had left (I used to wait for them to finish using a machine). It took me awhile b4 finally being able to ask a hot girl how many sets she had left on a machine. But when I did it without being aspie, I felt so triumphant. p.s. if you gymmaxx, ask guys (and then girls) about proper form and what routines they'd rec. to have an actual convo with them.
4. Ask ugly girls out. I recommend driving to a mall a few towns away. That way you'll be sure you'll never see them again. Just practice walking up to people you have absolutely 0 attraction to and saying: "hey you're cute, wanna go out with me?" (make sure the girl is alone so you don't get overwhelmed). Just uttering those words for the first time might seem weird to you if you're whole self-image is betabitch. Practice saying that phrase so you have it memorized, bitch. You'll find that step 4 will be very difficult cuz of all the mental blocks. That's why only do this after you've mastered steps 1-3. You need to build up enough self-confidence from completing steps 1-3 so that a rough start in step 4 doesn't traumatize you. Ask 1 girl out, get rejected, then go home or grab a drink or get some ice cream. Whatever makes you feel better after your rejection. Come back the next weekend and try asking 2 girls. Do this every week until you can laugh about it. The point is to numb yourself to the experience and rejection. Also, mix steps 3 and 4 (have a brief conversation, then ask them out).
5. Ask out cute girls. If you have a fairly easy time asking out ugly girls, gradually increase the attractiveness of the ones you ask out. Maybe stop increasing their lookslevel until they match yours. This way you won't be ridiculed for being too ugly hopefully (but no promises). But if you build balls of steel, eventually ask out Stacy. Good luck with that.
6. Ask out a girl you like (and who likes you back). Here it is, the big one. The boss on the final level of a video game. If there's a girl who you think likes you, you gotta act while there's still attraction. I'm not a PUA, and don't think you can build attraction. She likes your face or she doesn't. How do you know if she does? If she makes eye contact with you more than twice. It's that simple. Don't waste time analyzing anything else. Go up to her and start a simple conversation about something you have in common, or something you noticed about her. Ask her out at the end of your convo if it seems like the natural end to your interaction with her. If you save it for some other day, you'll regret not doing it. Good luck bro you got this.
This guide could take months, if not years to complete. I personally have done steps 1-3. I've only asked out a handful of girls. Still working on it. But I gotta say, after 2 of the rejections, I felt great. Cuz I broke through, in a way.
