Being severe mentalcel and good looking at the same time is suifuel

incelmogger

incelmogger

Aryan
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Why the fuck did God nerf me like this? Why can’t it just all be different? Why can’t I live a normal life with friends going out all the time, having fun and living the dream not having to worry about all this shit and being addicted to pils, nic and porn.

How the fuck do you even cope with having a traumatic childhood and teenage experience? I do not wish living with this much regret upon anyone, even the people who I don’t like on this shitty Indian forum.

The powers of darkness are trying to hold me back from my true purpose, and all I hope is that they don’t succeed in making me even more fucked up.

Everyone I meet and talk to thinks I slay and think of me as this tall NT jock private school kid but guess what I’m still a fucking lonely mentalcel and hate myself and the way I look. But hey, at least I can acknowledge it was all my fault to begin with. I could’ve prevented all of this as a young kid but I didn’t. Maybe God has a plan but idek anymore.
 
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You won’t even have the looks if u stay on these meds my guy
 
You won’t even have the looks if u stay on these meds my guy
I’ve been on them for 2 months do you want to see how I look still lmfao? And I’m gonna try change shit up as well as come off the benzos and Seroquel. Also, I’m obviously super conscious of sides and know a lot about how psych drugs work, especially the ones I’m currently on. I see my GP, therapist and psychiatrist regularly and I’m always doubtful and questioning shit.
 
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I’ve been on them for 2 months do you want to see how I look still lmfao? And I’m gonna try change shit up as well as come off the benzos and Seroquel. Also, I’m obviously super conscious of sides and know a lot about how psych drugs work, especially the ones I’m currently on. I see my GP, therapist and psychiatrist regularly and I’m always doubtful and questioning shit.
Sure man, Ill be objective. Good to check on urself as ur going thru dat
 
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You won’t even have the looks if u stay on these meds my guy
I don’t have another option. I’ll just fucking end up in the ward again or a rehab. It was a long time coming.
 
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Are you a clinically diagnosed autist?
 
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Sure man, Ill be objective. Good to check on urself as ur going thru dat
I am checking myself 24/7, that’s all I have ever done since I was a little kid. I’ve always been super self-conscious and numbed myself with shit. Yes it’s bcoz of complex trauma but I blame myself for all of that shit. My therapist even made me do a memory list and I could remember every shitty thing or time period and recall it perfectly and then when he asked me to recall good memories, even little ones that were recent I just fucking froze and started shaking and getting teary involuntarily. I couldn’t name anything, and the things I could remember I refused to acknowledge them as goods, just things that happened somehow. I have been fucked up since I Was 8 or 9yrs old
 
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yeah thats me i suffer a lot
 
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Imagine being sub 5 and non nt
 
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