D
Deleted member 27746
anonymous troll demon
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2023
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As a 16 year old boy turning 17 soon, I was surrounded by this "blackpill" ideology through a variety of media throughout my childhood. I was 13 years old when I first started using reddit, originally I would use it to browse memes on subs like r/dankmemes or r/memes and saw content involving "boys vs girls memes" or glorifying this ignorant ideology. This content initially filled my young mind with bullshit like "all women prefer taller men", "all women always want to date the asshole guy", "women prefer having sex with dogs", etc. As a result, I began to vaguely believe this nonsense at a young age.
***How these nonsense beliefs plagued my mind at a younger age:***
With the exposure to this ideology. I began to dig deeper into it at the age of 14. Unfortunately I joined hate communities via discord that were "Anti-Furry" and exposed me to further radical views involving the "blackpill" This radical shift in ideology late 2020-early 2021 has caused me to become blind in favor of these horrible ideology's.
These ideologies were strongly in favor of the inceldom and as a young 14 year old, I had the ridiculous belief that I would never get a girl because I am short. I was 4'11 at the age of 14 easily convinced by this radical ideology. Things did not begin to look up from there. I was so hesitant to have a romantic partner at the age of 14-15 while at the same time baring these ideologies made me blind of what's going on. I remember becoming homophobic and transphobic at that age because I was blinded by them.
At the age of 14-15 (2021) I would make these stupid discord "clans" for hating on the lgbtq, furry, and gacha communities because I was heavily blinded by this ideology. There would be times that people would just flood my mind with more incel bullshit and plauge my mind with further hate. Me and the people would "raid" servers calling people slurs. Looking back at this now makes me regret and cringe at the decision to fall into the "blackpill" rabbithole in the first place.
**The real life effects of this "blackpill" ideology and how it affected me**
The beginning of 2022, it was my freshman year of high school and I remember liking this girl who was in my music class. I figured we were perfect for each other so I admitted my feelings to her and it turned it she was a lesbian. My 15-year-old self was filled with more hatred for lesbians. I would constantly beg her to "reconsider" her decision to the extent she didnt want to be my friend anymore. From this, I would spread hate on discord about lesbian women claiming theyre "nazis" and evil. My mind was plagued with hate to the extent I wouldnt even negotiate with lgbtq people at all. Looking back at his experience now makes me realize how this "blackpill" ideology affected my ability to socialize with people in general and how bad my personality was back then.
Following in 2022, I was in a discord group full of incels who would constantly shit on women and say bullshit like: "women belong in the kitchen", "women are sex toys", "women owe us sex", and other things that are ridiculous. Luckily, I had some sense at 15 knowing that this shit was obviously wrong but I was in denial, I tried "believing" this ideology just so I won't be kicked from that group.
In the Summer of 2022, I met this girl online while I had my camera on who found me attractive so we've e-dated. Ultimately, I became overattached and became too needy to be by her side. The relationship didnt last long because I was so needy all the time. This experience taught me that relationships don't fix everything and that I had alot to learn before I could enter a relationship. Knowing how it hurt at the time, I would begin to think twice about this so-called "blackpill."
**Exiting the "bluepill" ideology at 16 (2022)**
After that breakup, I looked to my trusted friends that weren't fed into this dumb ideology for advice. They gave me really good advice that relationships do not fix problems and that I needed to do things like: take care of myself and be self reliant emotionally and physically. It took me a while to process this advice because I was too invested in that "blackpill" at the time and was in denial. It took me a few rough breakups and relationships that didnt last long to realize this.
Earlier this year, I had a friend who was 13 and sick with the bullshit from the discord group I was in as well. He didn't choose to be added to that gc nor wanted to but one of my ex-"homies" added him anyway. My friend helped me along the way to leave this toxic group who would often hate on the lgbtq community and stay behind a screen complaining about them and women 24/7.
I knew it was difficult to block them because they would try coming at me from other accounts. The clear solution to this was to create a new account on discord and start fresh away from that toxic "friend" group with the help of my friend. I used my new account as a main account to fully distance myself from those toxic incels.
Being around them affected my ability to study and stay focused on school because they'd expect me to be chronically online discussing their stupid ideology. Simply by distancing myself from this ideology and those people, I was able to reintegrate into society like I was a new and refreshed person. It felt really good to interact with people in real life and develop stronger connections with my peers. The best part about distancing myself from this ideology was that I was able to become more focused on my school work, especially when I had 3 AP exams coming up for my 10th grade year. My grades even improved significantly because I was more focused on real-life things rather than incel bullshit.
**The effects of leaving that toxic environment**
Being isolated from those radical ideologies did nothing but good for me. I was able to develop a more well-rounded, open-minded mindset that began to develop back in February this year. Being more isolated from this ideology influenced me to develop talent and abilities I didnt know I had that would usually be frowned upon by those incels.
Since summer began, I was able to have more time to focus on myself and develop my talents, social life, and abilities for the better. I even went ice skating with real life friends which was something I wouldve never done at 14-15 because I was so invested in that "blackpill" ideology.
I know that I am talented, gifted, and have my entire life ahead of me. I heavily regret spending 2 years of my teenhood bought into an ideology with nothing but hate and bullshit. I plan on spending the next 2 years on further developing my social, emotional, and physical skills. I am entering my 11th grade year in high school about to begin the IB program. Developing this open-mindedness and deradicalization will help me explore even more in life rather than dating. I no longer bare hate for anyone because at the end of the day, everybody is unique in their own way and our uniqueness should not be taken for granted like the incel ideology refuses to believe.
**Conclusion**
Things for me can only go up from here as I chose to explore the world and myself. Those incels I used to be in a gc with chose to keep living their life sitting behind a screen constantly slandering women and other communities. I could care less of how they chose to live their life because all I know is that I chose a different path to improve myself because at the end of the day I am still a child and should cherish the remaining years of my childhood before I become an adult.
I often look back at my old self as an oxymoron to my ex-incel self to symbolize where I want to be and where I wouldve been if I stayed; a young man who lives his dream to explore the world and become a US marine versus a man in his 30s on that same gc still living at my mom's house showing no signs of improvement. I share this in hopes that other young teens would not invest in the rabbithole like I have in the past and enjoy their childhood developing socially and emotionally like I chose to live my 1.5 years of childhood left.
***How these nonsense beliefs plagued my mind at a younger age:***
With the exposure to this ideology. I began to dig deeper into it at the age of 14. Unfortunately I joined hate communities via discord that were "Anti-Furry" and exposed me to further radical views involving the "blackpill" This radical shift in ideology late 2020-early 2021 has caused me to become blind in favor of these horrible ideology's.
These ideologies were strongly in favor of the inceldom and as a young 14 year old, I had the ridiculous belief that I would never get a girl because I am short. I was 4'11 at the age of 14 easily convinced by this radical ideology. Things did not begin to look up from there. I was so hesitant to have a romantic partner at the age of 14-15 while at the same time baring these ideologies made me blind of what's going on. I remember becoming homophobic and transphobic at that age because I was blinded by them.
At the age of 14-15 (2021) I would make these stupid discord "clans" for hating on the lgbtq, furry, and gacha communities because I was heavily blinded by this ideology. There would be times that people would just flood my mind with more incel bullshit and plauge my mind with further hate. Me and the people would "raid" servers calling people slurs. Looking back at this now makes me regret and cringe at the decision to fall into the "blackpill" rabbithole in the first place.
**The real life effects of this "blackpill" ideology and how it affected me**
The beginning of 2022, it was my freshman year of high school and I remember liking this girl who was in my music class. I figured we were perfect for each other so I admitted my feelings to her and it turned it she was a lesbian. My 15-year-old self was filled with more hatred for lesbians. I would constantly beg her to "reconsider" her decision to the extent she didnt want to be my friend anymore. From this, I would spread hate on discord about lesbian women claiming theyre "nazis" and evil. My mind was plagued with hate to the extent I wouldnt even negotiate with lgbtq people at all. Looking back at his experience now makes me realize how this "blackpill" ideology affected my ability to socialize with people in general and how bad my personality was back then.
Following in 2022, I was in a discord group full of incels who would constantly shit on women and say bullshit like: "women belong in the kitchen", "women are sex toys", "women owe us sex", and other things that are ridiculous. Luckily, I had some sense at 15 knowing that this shit was obviously wrong but I was in denial, I tried "believing" this ideology just so I won't be kicked from that group.
In the Summer of 2022, I met this girl online while I had my camera on who found me attractive so we've e-dated. Ultimately, I became overattached and became too needy to be by her side. The relationship didnt last long because I was so needy all the time. This experience taught me that relationships don't fix everything and that I had alot to learn before I could enter a relationship. Knowing how it hurt at the time, I would begin to think twice about this so-called "blackpill."
**Exiting the "bluepill" ideology at 16 (2022)**
After that breakup, I looked to my trusted friends that weren't fed into this dumb ideology for advice. They gave me really good advice that relationships do not fix problems and that I needed to do things like: take care of myself and be self reliant emotionally and physically. It took me a while to process this advice because I was too invested in that "blackpill" at the time and was in denial. It took me a few rough breakups and relationships that didnt last long to realize this.
Earlier this year, I had a friend who was 13 and sick with the bullshit from the discord group I was in as well. He didn't choose to be added to that gc nor wanted to but one of my ex-"homies" added him anyway. My friend helped me along the way to leave this toxic group who would often hate on the lgbtq community and stay behind a screen complaining about them and women 24/7.
I knew it was difficult to block them because they would try coming at me from other accounts. The clear solution to this was to create a new account on discord and start fresh away from that toxic "friend" group with the help of my friend. I used my new account as a main account to fully distance myself from those toxic incels.
Being around them affected my ability to study and stay focused on school because they'd expect me to be chronically online discussing their stupid ideology. Simply by distancing myself from this ideology and those people, I was able to reintegrate into society like I was a new and refreshed person. It felt really good to interact with people in real life and develop stronger connections with my peers. The best part about distancing myself from this ideology was that I was able to become more focused on my school work, especially when I had 3 AP exams coming up for my 10th grade year. My grades even improved significantly because I was more focused on real-life things rather than incel bullshit.
**The effects of leaving that toxic environment**
Being isolated from those radical ideologies did nothing but good for me. I was able to develop a more well-rounded, open-minded mindset that began to develop back in February this year. Being more isolated from this ideology influenced me to develop talent and abilities I didnt know I had that would usually be frowned upon by those incels.
Since summer began, I was able to have more time to focus on myself and develop my talents, social life, and abilities for the better. I even went ice skating with real life friends which was something I wouldve never done at 14-15 because I was so invested in that "blackpill" ideology.
I know that I am talented, gifted, and have my entire life ahead of me. I heavily regret spending 2 years of my teenhood bought into an ideology with nothing but hate and bullshit. I plan on spending the next 2 years on further developing my social, emotional, and physical skills. I am entering my 11th grade year in high school about to begin the IB program. Developing this open-mindedness and deradicalization will help me explore even more in life rather than dating. I no longer bare hate for anyone because at the end of the day, everybody is unique in their own way and our uniqueness should not be taken for granted like the incel ideology refuses to believe.
**Conclusion**
Things for me can only go up from here as I chose to explore the world and myself. Those incels I used to be in a gc with chose to keep living their life sitting behind a screen constantly slandering women and other communities. I could care less of how they chose to live their life because all I know is that I chose a different path to improve myself because at the end of the day I am still a child and should cherish the remaining years of my childhood before I become an adult.
I often look back at my old self as an oxymoron to my ex-incel self to symbolize where I want to be and where I wouldve been if I stayed; a young man who lives his dream to explore the world and become a US marine versus a man in his 30s on that same gc still living at my mom's house showing no signs of improvement. I share this in hopes that other young teens would not invest in the rabbithole like I have in the past and enjoy their childhood developing socially and emotionally like I chose to live my 1.5 years of childhood left.
