MoggerGaston
Weltschmerz
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2022
- Posts
- 23,574
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- 55,656
I already knew I looked intimidating, been told that many times.
Also get told I look like a fuckboy/player, and someone who gets into fights a lot.
Been told I look like the villain from a movie, a danger, evil person.
I get told I should 'smile more' regularly.
Today however it has come to a new low-point in my life.
I had an hour long conversation with my boss about my performance in the company this last year. Every employee has this conversation once a year, and you just go over things that went well or went wrong, Things management has noticed, etc. Improvements, etc.
95% of the conversation was entirely irrelevant. I am doing well in terms of technical skills, I am never late, blah blah blah. Don't worry, I am not about to get fired.
But then this BOMB got dropped:
My supervisor told me that I don't display much emotion during my job to customers, nor to colleagues.
??? legit was fucking surprised as fuck. I always feel like I put aneffort into looking friendly to colleagues, customers, etc. Smiling, trying to 'feel with them' as I help them with their order/delivery/repair.
I was stunned.
Then my supervisor was like wtf? U don't know this about yourself? Nobody ever told you? You seem like the kind of person that simply 'is like that' so I figured this wouldn't be a surprise to you.
?????
Then she said the biggest thing: 'You often seem like a machine, just going through the motions, with no emotional involvement.'
Pure blackpill was going through my brain at this point. I was zoning out of the situation at this point, as it was getting extremely confronting. Legit wondering whether I am somehow an autistic retard and I don't even know it. Whether it's fucking over for my autistic retard brain and if I shouldn't just kill myself since I will never be a normal human being that can enjoy life.
Then she told me: 'Even now during this conversation with you, you don't display emotions. Your face is blank and I have no idea what you are feeling.'
Honestly, it's so fucking over for me.
Am I an autistic retard with no emotions?
Fuck man.
Maybe I am taking this roastie's rant too seriously honestly. Since I've never heard a BRUTAL ATTACK on my brain-chemistry like this before.
Maybe her telling me my face looks 'unemotional' is just the typical racism/discrimination/lookism that I normally get where people tell me my face looks 'intimidating'. And she just worded it differently.
I can't get it out of my mind now though, that maybe I am retarded who thinks he is somewhat normal, when actually I am in a mental asylum and people PRETEND that I am normal.
Also get told I look like a fuckboy/player, and someone who gets into fights a lot.
Been told I look like the villain from a movie, a danger, evil person.
I get told I should 'smile more' regularly.
Today however it has come to a new low-point in my life.
I had an hour long conversation with my boss about my performance in the company this last year. Every employee has this conversation once a year, and you just go over things that went well or went wrong, Things management has noticed, etc. Improvements, etc.
95% of the conversation was entirely irrelevant. I am doing well in terms of technical skills, I am never late, blah blah blah. Don't worry, I am not about to get fired.
But then this BOMB got dropped:
My supervisor told me that I don't display much emotion during my job to customers, nor to colleagues.
??? legit was fucking surprised as fuck. I always feel like I put aneffort into looking friendly to colleagues, customers, etc. Smiling, trying to 'feel with them' as I help them with their order/delivery/repair.
I was stunned.
Then my supervisor was like wtf? U don't know this about yourself? Nobody ever told you? You seem like the kind of person that simply 'is like that' so I figured this wouldn't be a surprise to you.
?????
Then she said the biggest thing: 'You often seem like a machine, just going through the motions, with no emotional involvement.'
Pure blackpill was going through my brain at this point. I was zoning out of the situation at this point, as it was getting extremely confronting. Legit wondering whether I am somehow an autistic retard and I don't even know it. Whether it's fucking over for my autistic retard brain and if I shouldn't just kill myself since I will never be a normal human being that can enjoy life.
Then she told me: 'Even now during this conversation with you, you don't display emotions. Your face is blank and I have no idea what you are feeling.'
Honestly, it's so fucking over for me.
Am I an autistic retard with no emotions?
Fuck man.
Maybe I am taking this roastie's rant too seriously honestly. Since I've never heard a BRUTAL ATTACK on my brain-chemistry like this before.
Maybe her telling me my face looks 'unemotional' is just the typical racism/discrimination/lookism that I normally get where people tell me my face looks 'intimidating'. And she just worded it differently.
I can't get it out of my mind now though, that maybe I am retarded who thinks he is somewhat normal, when actually I am in a mental asylum and people PRETEND that I am normal.