Is it even possible to recover from a failed childhood in terms of life quality?

[MoggerGaston]

Child abuse, severe bullying, trueceldom, subhumanity, etc. All at the same time.

Is it even possible to recover mentally from this, ever?
I feel like most people in such a situation become homeless, drug addicts or commit suicide.

Never ever met a succesfull person that started from 0. Sometimes you hear this 'success story' of a guy from a poor family that made it. But when you look them up they always end up having a lot of things going for them anyways.

Take Ibrahimovic

Despite growing up poor, he looked like a prettyboy mogger that had girls lusting after him for sure and would've been a popular guy socially.

He's clearly better off than the average kid, despite growing up poor. How anyone could consider this a 'failure to success' story is beyond me when you look like that as a kid. You were already priviliged.


JFL at life honestly. It's all just about how you are born. And good looks in your childhood can easily compensate for a lot of other shortcomings.

 

[Donkeyballs]

How young were you and how old are you atm?

 

[Deleted member 14693]

Everyone is mentally ill so no its not fixable

 

[ascension]

I don't know, I'm trying to find the answer myself. The sadness of knowing that we never got to enjoy your youth will probably stay with us forever.

 

[BoredPrince]

It is possible but it takes a lot of effort and time. With determination it can be done, you "just" need to reinvent yourself so to say.

 

[BoredPrince]

I don't know, I'm trying to find the answer myself. The sadness of knowing that we never got to enjoy your youth will probably stay with us forever.

It probably will, I found the best way is just to forget it, like it never happened, makes life easier

 

[New Poster]

By child abuse, do you mean actual abuse or just not getting the validation your narcy soul craves?

 

[MoggerGaston]

I don't know, I'm trying to find the answer myself. The sadness of knowing that we never got to enjoy your youth will probably stay with us forever.

It's not even about enjoying your youth. But knowing that your mind adjusted to extremely poor circumstances and whatever it needed to cope in that situation.

I can't even enjoy my 20s because of that.

Take the first girl I dated for example, after being KHHV at 23yo. I couldn't even enjoy it because I felt like I wasn't good enough for her due to my past. It's all fucked up.

 

[ascension]

It probably will, I found the best way is just to forget it, like it never happened, makes life easier

Recently I do feel like I'm starting to move on from it. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Just gotta focus on trying to make the rest of my life better.

 

[MoggerGaston]

It is possible but it takes a lot of effort and time. With determination it can be done, you "just" need to reinvent yourself so to say.

Just change your entire personality and who you are, what you like to do, and everything else. ?

 

[MoggerGaston]

By child abuse, do you mean actual abuse or just not getting the validation your narcy soul craves?

Every child needs validation.

When you don't get it from your parents/family (neglect/abuse).
And don't get it from your peers (bullying, subhumanity).

You are done for tbh.

 

[ascension]

It's not even about enjoying your youth. But knowing that your mind adjusted to extremely poor circumstances and whatever it needed to cope in that situation.

I can't even enjoy my 20s because of that.

Take the first girl I dated for example, after being KHHV at 23yo. I couldn't even enjoy it because I felt like I wasn't good enough for her due to my past. It's all fucked up.

Facts man. All those years of never knowing when my dad was going to rage, living in fear constantly, really did a number on me.

And same, I had a HTB girl really in love with me when I was 22 but my mind just couldn't fathom that she actually liked me. No matter what she did, I just couldn't believe it, I thought she was faking it jfl. The thoughts of me not being good enough, being too ugly fucked me up.

 

[BoredPrince]

Recently I do feel like I'm starting to move on from it. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Just gotta focus on trying to make the rest of my life better.

Kinda like that, if you had a bad past, the only thing you can do is focus on the future, what helped me the most is not thinking about it

 

[New Poster]

Every child needs validation.

When you don't get it from your parents/family (neglect/abuse).
And don't get it from your peers (bullying, subhumanity).

You are done for tbh.

So the latter. Lol at lumping actual material disadvantages with not getting validated for doing nothing

 

[ascension]

So the latter. Lol at lumping actual material disadvantages with not getting validated for doing nothing

 

[MoggerGaston]

So the latter. Lol at lumping actual material disadvantages with not getting validated for doing nothing

i knew you were going to type this after my reply, ur so predictable

 

[BoredPrince]

Just change your entire personality and who you are, what you like to do, and everything else. ?

In a way yes, the point is (in my opinion at least) to move away from the things that hurt you, that could mean places, people and activities...

If you don't, you will always be reminded of the pain and regret, that's why people so often talk about "disappearing"

 

[MoggerGaston]

Facts man. All those years of never knowing when my dad was going to rage, living in fear constantly, really did a number on me.

And same, I had a HTB girl really in love with me when I was 22 but my mind just couldn't fathom that she actually liked me. No matter what she did, I just couldn't believe it, I thought she was faking it jfl. The thoughts of me not being good enough, being too ugly fucked me up.

Same shit here but it was my mom who fucked up everything in our family.

I didn't think the girl was faking it, but I always have this thought in the back of my mind:
'She only likes you because she doesn't really know who you are. She has a delusional idea/image of you that isn't based in reality. She doesn't know the real you. She will find out eventually and then it's over.'

mental illness is the worst disease

 

[New Poster]

i knew you were going to type this after my reply, ur so predictable

No, you people are so predictable. All your life problem boil down to not having hot girls hit on you while you sit there taking no risks in your life. Lol at comparing this to child abuse, you melodramatic narcy.

 

[ascension]

Same shit here but it was my mom who fucked up everything in our family.

I didn't think the girl was faking it, but I always have this thought in the back of my mind:
'She only likes you because she doesn't really know who you are. She has a delusional idea/image of you that isn't based in reality. She doesn't know the real you. She will find out eventually and then it's over.'

mental illness is the worst disease

Damn holy shit that's exactly what was going on in my mind too. Brutal.

I don't blame myself tbh. I got practically 0 positive reinforcement my whole life, so when I did finally get some, it obviously wasn't going to make sense to me.

 

[MoggerGaston]

In a way yes, the point is (in my opinion at least) to move away from the things that hurt you, that could mean places, people and activities...

If you don't, you will always be reminded of the pain and regret, that's why people so often talk about "disappearing"

I already broke contact with my family and all of my childhood friends + moved out to my own place. Did nothing for me ngl.

The pain is too deep.

 

[MoggerGaston]

No, you people are so predictable. All your life problem boil down to not having hot girls hit on you while you sit there taking no risks in your life. Lol at comparing this to child abuse, you melodramatic narcy.

Ur projecting a lot her buddyboyo. I hope you get over the trauma of stacy not approaching you in your childhood

but its not what this topic is about

 

[BoredPrince]

I already broke contact with my family and all of my childhood friends + moved out to my own place. Did nothing for me ngl.

The pain is too deep.

You only really got 2 choices, accept it or forget it.

The latter worked for me it may not work for everyone though.

Concerning the first, if you decide that route, therapy seems to help but that means it will get worse before it gets better.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Damn holy shit that's exactly what was going on in my mind too. Brutal.

I don't blame myself tbh. I got practically 0 positive reinforcement my whole life, so when I did finally get some, it obviously wasn't going to make sense to me.

I had hoped so badly that the fact I never got any positive reinforcement, would make me appreciate my first relationship with first real positive reinforcement way more. And help me heal from that past trauma.

But the truth is that all that past trauma makes your mind less open to new ideas. To protect yourself from further trauma, your mind learned to live in its own world on the inside. You have a strong sense of the world in your own mind, a strong sense of yourself. So that you are less bothered by new traumatic events. Your mind has adapted.

And in this case, this adaptation made it impossible for me to enjoy new positive social experiences. Because all that my mind expects is negative social experiences.

 

[BoredPrince]

I had hoped so badly that the fact I never got any positive reinforcement, would make me appreciate my first relationship with first real positive reinforcement way more. And help me heal from that past trauma.

But the truth is that all that past trauma makes your mind less open to new ideas. To protect yourself from further trauma, your mind learned to live in its own world on the inside. You have a strong sense of the world in your own mind, a strong sense of yourself. So that you are less bothered by new traumatic events. Your mind has adapted.

And in this case, this adaptation made it impossible for me to enjoy new positive social experiences. Because all that my mind expects is negative social experiences.

Facts bro, I still think it's possible to "heal" but it requires you to be vulnerable

It's hard to give up the walls that protect you, when you've been hurt so many times

 

[MoggerGaston]

Facts bro, I still think it's possible to "heal" but it requires you to be vulnerable

It's hard to give up the walls that protect you, when you've been hurt so many times

Not just being vulnerable, but also being with someone or in a situation in which you are allowed to be vulnerable.
Both long-term dates I've had ditched me the moment I became vulnerable and talked about my issues/thoughts. It's brutal.

You have to be vulnerable to yourself on the inside, but stay strong on the outside. Always.

 

[ascension]

I had hoped so badly that the fact I never got any positive reinforcement, would make me appreciate my first relationship with first real positive reinforcement way more. And help me heal from that past trauma.

But the truth is that all that past trauma makes your mind less open to new ideas. To protect yourself from further trauma, your mind learned to live in its own world on the inside. You have a strong sense of the world in your own mind, a strong sense of yourself. So that you are less bothered by new traumatic events. Your mind has adapted.

And in this case, this adaptation made it impossible for me to enjoy new positive social experiences. Because all that my mind expects is negative social experiences.

Same, I thought getting a gf would make up for all the suffering. But I'm so used to the thought that people are faking being nice to me and deep down they feel that I'm ugly, weird, annoying etc.

Ideally, to undo all this negative reinforcement, we'd need a lot of positivity and love, but it's difficult to find anyone who's going to bother helping us with that at this age. Nowadays no one has any patience. Women especially, knowing that they have a new Chad at their disposal from a simple swipe of the finger.

 

[Guts]

I don’t think it’s possible to recover mentally. Unfortunately we are only human and this kind of experience is highly damaging to the brain long term

 

[RAITEIII]

Child abuse, severe bullying, trueceldom, subhumanity, etc. All at the same time.

Is it even possible to recover mentally from this, ever?
I feel like most people in such a situation become homeless, drug addicts or commit suicide.

Never ever met a succesfull person that started from 0. Sometimes you hear this 'success story' of a guy from a poor family that made it. But when you look them up they always end up having a lot of things going for them anyways.

Take Ibrahimovic

Despite growing up poor, he looked like a prettyboy mogger that had girls lusting after him for sure and would've been a popular guy socially.

He's clearly better off than the average kid, despite growing up poor. How anyone could consider this a 'failure to success' story is beyond me when you look like that as a kid. You were already priviliged.


JFL at life honestly. It's all just about how you are born. And good looks in your childhood can easily compensate for a lot of other shortcomings.

I bet u were good looking as a child

 

[fukmylyf]

yes, many people have been through worse and achieved a lot in life. It's about resilience and luck

 

[BoredPrince]

Not just being vulnerable, but also being with someone or in a situation in which you are allowed to be vulnerable.
Both long-term dates I've had ditched me the moment I became vulnerable and talked about my issues/thoughts. It's brutal.

You have to be vulnerable to yourself on the inside, but stay strong on the outside. Always.

Yeah, the truth is nobody cares, everything is up to you

 

[The Grinch]

No you will never recover from a bad childhood, it will haunt you until the day you die. Find a way to cope

 

[apocalypse]

Facts man. All those years of never knowing when my dad was going to rage, living in fear constantly, really did a number on me.

When daddy would go on a business trip for a few days
We would all breathe a bit easier

 

[rand anon]

after being KHHV at 23yo. I couldn't even enjoy it because I felt like I wasn't good enough for her due to my past.

Will prob be my case too if i ever make it to that stage, over

 

[Prettyboy]

Not possible because we are the genétic product of our parents, if they gave us subhuman conditions to grow up in it means that environment isn’t just an endogenous thing, it stems from the genetics, if you get the chance to reproduce chances are you are gonna replicate thaz exact same environment

Becoming a succesful adult after a subhuman childhood could only be possible if you became a completely different person, otherwise what you deems as bad environment is your genetically pretermined natural habitat.
It’s sad and unfair but it is what it is.

 

[Deleted member 25938]

Take Ibrahimovic

Despite growing up poor, he looked like a prettyboy mogger that had girls lusting after him for sure and would've been a popular guy socially.

He's clearly better off than the average kid, despite growing up poor. How anyone could consider this a 'failure to success' story is beyond me when you look like that as a kid. You were already priviliged.

Too bad he developed bad habits during adolescence and turned into this:

 

[190cm90kg]

bully others and commit arson. if u cant be liked just train to kill

 

[TUSSELEIF]

I read the title as faelid childhood

 

[horizontallytall]

This nigga always thinks he is too smart and tryna add some cringe ass comment in actual important convos

Ur projecting a lot her buddyboyo. I hope you get over the trauma of stacy not approaching you in your childhood

but its not what this topic is about